Return to Stringybark Creek

by Karly Lane

  He wasn’t sure where this was heading. Did she regret it? Was she about to tell him to stay the hell away from her from now on? He hoped not, but who knew?

  ‘I had no idea, Ollie,’ she said, looking up at him.

  ‘About what?’

  ‘How you felt,’ she said, and his gut dropped. ‘About me.’

  The ability to open his mouth and speak was beyond him.

  ‘Liv told me.’

  ‘Told you what?’ he asked slowly.

  ‘That you’ve … had feelings for me … for a long time. I swear I didn’t know, Ollie. I would never have …’

  Never what? He screamed inside but couldn’t speak.

  ‘Well, I mean, I would have said something … I wouldn’t have just ignored it.’

  ‘I can’t believe she told you,’ he managed to get out, feeling mortified that she must think he was some pathetic loser after all this time.

  ‘No, it’s not her fault. I went there after we … you know. Anyway, I told her what happened and that it took me by surprise …’

  ‘You told her that we kissed?’

  She looked up at him uncertainly. ‘She’s my best friend. We always tell each other stuff like that.’

  Just great. If his sister knew, then Griff would know by now too. He’d never hear the end of it. ‘Look, I don’t know what Liv told you …’ he started.

  ‘That you’ve had a thing for me … forever,’ Hadley supplied, holding his gaze even as he swallowed in discomfort.

  It was worse than he’d thought. ‘Well, you know, the thing, is …’ he began again.

  ‘Actually, her exact words were that you’ve been in love with me for as long as she could remember.’ She cut him off and the look she levelled at him dared him to deny it.

  ‘Right,’ he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. ‘I guess I used to have a crush on you when we were kids.’

  ‘So when did it stop?’

  ‘When did what stop?’

  ‘The crush.’

  ‘Oh. Ah, I don’t know … I guess at some point. I don’t remember. You know, we all grew up … and you got married,’ he said, hoping his voice still sounded off-hand and not as uncertain as he feared it did. He saw her lower her eyes but not before he caught the slight flinch. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, reaching out a hand instinctively to touch her arm.

  ‘It does matter, Ollie,’ she said, lifting her gaze to his, and making him catch his breath at the pain he saw there. ‘What kind of person is so wrapped up in her own self-importance that she doesn’t even pick up on something like that?’

  ‘You’re the last person anyone would think was wrapped up in self-importance and you didn’t know because I never said anything.’

  ‘Why didn’t you?’

  ‘Because …’ he shifted his weight awkwardly and rubbed his chest. ‘I don’t know, you were always destined for big things. There was nothing I could offer you here.’

  ‘How could you have known that back then?’

  ‘It didn’t take a genius,’ he said with a small grin. ‘There was always something special about you, Hads. You were too big for this little place. That and the fact you pretty much only ever talked about the day you’d leave … that was kinda a big clue.’

  ‘I guess I was a little obsessed with that.’

  Ollie shrugged, ‘You knew what you wanted to do in life. I always liked that about you. You had drive.’

  ‘I’m still sorry that I was so busy looking ahead that I didn’t take time to see what was around me.’

  How could she have been so blind? Now that she knew, she thought back to all the times over the years she’d come home and Ollie had been there. She knew he’d never be the kind of man to hold a grudge and grow bitter with unrequited love, but how hard would that have been, to have feelings for someone and never get more than a friendly hug or smile in return? All those Christmases and family celebrations over the years. Her wedding. She almost gasped aloud as the realisation of that struck home. He’d had to stand there and watch her marry someone else.

  Logically she knew she had nothing to feel guilty about, she hadn’t even known how Ollie had felt about her, and yet she did feel bad. It wasn’t difficult to imagine how painful that must have been.

  He kicked the dirt at his feet and she knew he was embarrassed that she’d found out.

  ‘Forget it,’ he said.

  ‘It’s a bit hard to forget when I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other day.’

  He looked up at that, eyeing her apprehensively.

  Hadley wiped suddenly sweaty hands on her jeans, fidgeting nervously. ‘The thing is, it kinda caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting … that.’

  He watched her intently, waiting for her to make some kind of sense, she supposed. If only she were making sense. What was she doing? She knew they had to talk about the kiss, but she hadn’t been planning on doing it today. Today she’d driven here after seeing Harmony because … She paused, a strange sensation passing through her body, because … there was no one else she wanted to be around right now.

  ‘Hads?’ he asked, concern filling his face.

  Hadley blinked. ‘Ah, sorry. I …’

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said gently. ‘We can just forget it ever happened if it’s freaking you out that much.’

  ‘It’s not,’ she jumped in quickly. ‘I’m not freaked out.’

  Ollie gave her a crooked grin, the kind she’d seen a thousand times before but until today hadn’t ever made her stomach flip-flop like this. ‘I can see that.’

  ‘I’m not. I’m just … surprised.’

  ‘About what part?’ he asked. ‘The kiss or that I’d been wanting to do that since we were in high school?’

  ‘Pretty much all of it,’ she said, feeling side-swiped once again.

  He leaned back against the side of the tractor and folded his arms across his chest. ‘If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t stopped thinking about it either.’

  She was momentarily distracted by the tight pull of the fabric of his shirt and the soft denim that covered his thighs. This was Ollie. Only it wasn’t. It was Ollie as she’d never seen him before.

  ‘I just don’t know where we go from here,’ she said, forcing her focus back on track. ‘My life is a mess at the moment. I don’t know if this,’ she waved a finger between them, ‘is something that I need to add to my life right now. I mean, I’m not even sure how long I’m home for.’

  ‘I know it doesn’t change anything,’ he shrugged. ‘To tell you the truth, I’ve never really thought past what would happen if I did ever get to kiss you. Reality always gets in the way of a good fantasy,’ he added dryly.

  ‘I don’t want you to think it didn’t mean anything,’ she said softly. ‘It did. I just think the timing’s really bad right now.’

  ‘Story of my life,’ he smiled sadly. ‘It’s all good, Hads. Don’t worry about it. It was a stressful day and we were just in the right place … at the wrong time.’

  ‘Maybe if things weren’t so crazy,’ she said, feeling somehow disappointed that he wasn’t arguing a case for why she was wrong, then getting annoyed at herself for being the kind of woman who wanted drama in her life. Here she was, knowing that any kind of involvement with Ollie would only add more stress to her already tumultuous life, and she was still tempted to throw caution to the wind and ignore all the logical reasons why it was a bad idea.

  He opened his mouth to speak, but her phone interrupted them as it rang loudly from her back pocket. ‘It’s Mum. I better answer it or she’ll send out a search party. I’ve been gone for most of the day.’

  ‘Yeah, sure. I’ve got to get back to work anyway.’

  ‘I’ll see you later,’ she said.

  She sent him an apologetic smile before backing out of the shed as she answered the call, feeling a mixture of relief and dread at the timely interruption.

  Harvest was always crazy. Long days and long nights were spent out in
the paddocks, and Hadley was happy to be thrown back into the thick of it, keeping busy with urgent runs into town to pick up parts or taking out meals to her father and brother to give her mum a break.

  The newspaper story came out as expected and, with the exception of only a handful of calls asking for a response from her, there’d been very little hounding from the press so far.

  She should have known not to be too relieved.

  She parked the car in the main street out the front of the small general store and takeaway, needing to grab a few things for her mother, as well as to pick up the mail. So far the locals had been sympathetic about her marriage breakdown, and much to her relief she hadn’t had to answer too many awkward questions.

  ‘Hadley.’

  She turned at the unfamiliar voice and her smile abruptly slipped as she caught sight of the journalist walking briskly towards her.

  ‘Hadley, can you give us a minute of your time?’ called the young man in a suit, zeroing in on her. ‘How are you holding up?’

  Hadley forced a polite expression onto her face, having no alternative as the reporter gestured to his cameraman to zoom in on her.

  ‘I’m doing okay.’

  ‘Your marriage breakdown has come as a surprise to the Australian public as you and Mitch Samuals were dubbed the golden couple of Australian prime-time viewing. Is there anything you’d like to say?’

  Hadley bit back what she really wanted to say, but instead flashed a tight smile at the mock sincerity behind the question. ‘It’s a private matter and Mitch and I would both appreciate the time and space we need in order to deal with the situation.’

  ‘You can appreciate the interest from the public though? I mean, Mitch is a media celebrity.’

  ‘I appreciate all the good wishes the public has been sending but, again, this is a private matter between Mitch and myself.’

  ‘Is there any truth to the rumours about another woman being involved?’

  It took all Hadley’s strength not to flinch at the question.

  ‘Hey, mate. Get out of the lady’s way.’

  Hadley’s gaze shifted abruptly to Ollie, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere and was now towering over the reporter with a threatening scowl.

  ‘And who would you be, Mr … ?’

  ‘None of your bloody business. Get that camera out of my face.’

  ‘It’s all right, thanks,’ Hadley interjected quickly, sending Ollie a pleading look she hoped said, Just shut up!

  ‘Are you a relative, sir?’ the reporter went on, unperturbed.

  ‘I’m a family friend. Now get out of her way.’ Ollie pushed past the reporter and the cameraman and hustled Hadley into the driver’s seat, closing the door behind her securely.

  She threw one last desperate look towards Ollie and the reporter before deciding to make good her escape while she could. When she glanced in the rear-view mirror, she saw Ollie, tight lipped and unimpressed but thankfully walking away. She let out a shaky breath as her attention returned to the road ahead. Although grateful for Ollie’s intervention, she really wished he’d left things alone. They were sure to use today’s footage in some form to add to the breaking story. She just hoped they didn’t try and make a big deal out of it.

  Ten

  ‘Wife of Mitch Samuals, Hadley Callahan, was reluctant to comment on her marriage breakdown. Having headed back to the small community of Rankins Springs, Ms Callahan was not in the mood to speak with journalists today, and our reporter, Cameron Sheffield, had a close encounter with a mystery man who objected to our presence. It leaves us wondering, what was the reason behind this sudden unexpected split of TV’s golden couple? Could it be that Ms Callahan has found romance back in her home town? And who is this mystery man?’

  Griffin turned the TV off and swore, tossing the remote on the coffee table with a disgusted snort. ‘You have got to be kidding me. How do these bastards get away with this kind of crap?’

  Hadley’s fears had turned out to be founded. She’d come home and told Griffin and Olivia about the fiasco in town, and for the rest of the day she hadn’t been able to shake the niggling sensation that things were about to get ugly.

  Ollie had dropped by to apologise, but she hadn’t been able to get angry with him. He’d only stepped in to help. It was just unfortunate that it had been caught on film. She glanced over at him now, half hitched on the armrest of the lounge, arms crossed, still glaring at the television.

  ‘I can’t believe these people tracked you down out here and had the hide to ask you about your divorce,’ Olivia said, furious. ‘Would they like someone asking them about their personal business?’

  ‘No, they wouldn’t,’ Hadley agreed. ‘But Mitch is big news. I guess I knew that was part of the package when I signed on.’

  ‘No one deserves that kind of invasion of privacy. I don’t care how famous they are, or who they’re married to.’

  ‘I’m really sorry that I made it worse,’ Ollie said.

  ‘It’s not your fault, Ollie.’

  ‘Bloody oath it isn’t, mate,’ Griffin cut in. ‘They’re just lucky it was you instead of me. I would have knocked the bloke’s head off his shoulders if I’d been there.’

  ‘I’m really sorry that didn’t happen,’ Hadley said sarcastically.

  ‘Well, what a knob,’ Griffin said, disgusted. ‘What gives them the right to harass people on the street like that?’

  ‘They’re just doing their job. They have to get a story for their network.’

  ‘It’s messed up, that’s what it is,’ Griff said with a shake of his head.

  ‘It’ll be okay,’ Hadley said, forcing a confident smile she didn’t particularly feel. ‘It’ll all blow over eventually.’

  ‘Why do they think anyone has the right to invade someone’s privacy like this?’ Olivia said, frowning.

  ‘They know viewers like a juicy story.’

  ‘Well, that’s stupid. I’m not interested in chasing down people to ask them about their marriage breakdown.’

  Hadley shrugged. ‘The ratings say differently. If it’s on the TV, people will watch it. The more it’s talked about, the more invested people become in the story.’

  ‘Society is going to hell in a handbasket,’ Griffin said miserably.

  ‘Another story will come along soon and everyone will forget all about this one. Until then I’ll just keep my head down and wait it out.’

  It wasn’t fair, and Hadley was as indignant about losing her privacy as the others were, but she also knew how the system worked. One day no one would even remember she’d been married to Mitch Samuals and she could go back to living her life again.

  A few days later Hadley was walking back to her car after dropping over some containers to Sue when Ollie’s ute pulled up beside her.

  A funny fluttering stirred as she watched him get out of the vehicle. His faded jeans and big work boots were so incredibly … manly. ‘Oh dear lord,’ she muttered under her breath. Manly? Seriously? She better than anyone knew all about manly kind of men—she’d worked in enough military zones during her career to know the alpha male type. Sure, they may be easy on the eye—all that muscle and brawn and cockiness—but in reality they were rarely compatible with a strong-headed independent woman. From her experience, they liked their women agreeable and pretty and willing to swoon. Hadley didn’t do the swooning thing too well. Till now.

  She was not swooning.

  ‘Hey, Hads.’

  His deep voice made her swallow awkwardly then wince. ‘Hey. I was just running an errand for Mum.’

  ‘Thought I saw you heading this way earlier.’ He rested his backside against the bonnet of her car and braced his arms either side of his hips. Dragging her eyes to a respectable level, she noticed how tired he looked.

  ‘You look like you need a week of sleep.’

  ‘At least,’ he said with a weary smile, ‘but who doesn’t. Nah, it was pool night last night.’

  ‘Maybe you should have g
ot some sleep instead of playing pool,’ she said, wondering how on earth these men found the energy to socialise between the hours they were doing.

  ‘Probably would have been the smarter move,’ he agreed. ‘Actually, I didn’t feel like playing but I went because, I don’t know, I felt like I owed it to Luke or something. We hadn’t played since the last time he was there. I don’t know what I was expecting, I didn’t want everyone to be moping about or anything, but not one bloke mentioned him. It was the weirdest thing. I was sitting there waiting for someone to say something, anything, but no one did. It’s like they’ve all forgotten about him. It’s only been a bit over a week since his funeral,’ Ollie said, staring hopelessly at her.

  ‘People don’t know how to deal with the fallout,’ Hadley said, gently.

  ‘It’s bullshit. This whole situation is bullshit,’ Ollie snapped, rubbing a hand through his hair, before standing up and staring out across the paddock. ‘It’s like he never existed. Like everyone’s ignoring the fact he killed himself. He killed himself, Hadley,’ he said, turning to face her, his voice full of pain.

  ‘I know,’ she said softly, approaching him slowly, ‘but everyone’s still hurting.’

  ‘So, what, we’re all going to sweep it under the carpet and pretend everything’s normal?’

  ‘Maybe it’s time to bring it out into the open,’ she said, stopping before him. ‘Nothing’s going to change until we start talking about it.’

  ‘That’s the problem. No one wants to talk about it. It’s all they could bloody talk about after it happened,’ he said, bitterness edging his tone. ‘No one could get enough of the hows and whys then, but now the funeral’s over, it’s off limits again. Like we’ve all gotta move on and forget.’

  Hadley heard the torment in Ollie’s voice and felt her heart go out to him, even as a simmering rebellion began to bubble inside her. She hated injustice in any form and although these people were her community and didn’t mean any malice by their actions, this culture of ‘Don’t talk about it. Don’t bring up all the pain and sadness. Let it go’ was actually doing more harm than good. It alienated people who felt a need to talk about it.