by Joy, E. n.
EVEN SINNERS HAVE SOULS
noire
chunichi
kashamba williams
b.l.u.n.t.
Introduction by nikki turner
EDITED BY e.n. joy
SMASHWORDS Edition
Double Jeopardy ©Copyright 2008 by B.L.U.N.T.
Trust No Man ©Copyright 2008 by Chunichi
Backslider ©Copyright 2008 by KaShamba Williams
Everything for the Truth ©Copyright 2008 by Noire
Published by End of the Rainbow Projects
P.O. Box 298238
Columbus, OH 43229
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without prior consent of the publisher, except for brief quotes used in reviews.
ISBN: 0-9706726-4-0
First Published March 2008
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places and incidents is entirely coincidental.
Submit Orders to:
End of the Rainbow Projects
P.O. Box 298238
Columbus, OH 43229
614-806-6204
DEDICATIONS
This project is dedicated to Christopher Ross - Byrd of Toledo, OH
Double Jeopardy is dedicated to my son, Dolla, my nephew, Pork, and my cousin, Corelle. Your chains are about to be released. The time has come for you all to take your proper positions in our family tree. We are royalty in the eyes of God. We descend from Kings and Queens, therefore, we too are
Kings and Queens - Let's do this the right way!
B.L.U.N.T.
Everything for the Truth is dedicated to all of my reading fans. Thank you for your support in everything I do.
Holla
NOIRE
Backslider is dedicated to the backslider; all of us at one point in time. Remember, God is married to the backslider. May He allow you the chance to make amends. Thank you,
Joy, for allowing me to contribute to this project of well
respected and talented female urban authors. It's my honor
to be on the same bill as all of you. May your talent continue to flourish and stand above the rest.
Remember, times are precious, never waste it on negativity.
KASHAMBA WILLIAMS
Trust No Man is dedicated to all those who are walking the path of righteousness as well as those who are lost or have taken a wrong turn. Look above; God is your guide.
CHUNICHI
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
long overdue thanks to a family of
writers who helped pave the way for the
new jack urban authors: K'wan, Nikki
Turner, Tracy Brown, KaShamba
Williams, T.N. Baker, Trustice and
Keisha Ervin: Know that it is because of
God, not man, that you are where you are today. Allow no man to steal God's glory and take credit for your success.
ALL glory be unto Him! May God continue to provide you with a platform to utilize the gift He has given you, ultimately allowing you to see your bigger purpose
in this writing game.
Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Sinned
Intro by Nikki Turner
Double Jeopardy by B.L.U.N.T.
Trust No Man by Chunichi
Backslider by KaShamba Williams
Everything for the Truth by Noire
"Even Sinners Have Souls" the poem by
Oscar McLain III
Good and upright is the LORD: there-
fore will He teach sinners in the way.
-Psalm 25:8
"Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned"
By Nikki Turner
Everyone knows the saying that you should never judge a book by its cover. I'm often judged by the things that I've done in the past or the books that I now write instead of what is written in my heart. I have been judged for having children out of wedlock. I have been judged for not paying a bill on time. I have been judged because of the color of my skin, my weight, the way I wear my hair, dress, talk, walk, losing my temper and the list goes on. To make a long story short, I have been put under a microscope by people, who for some reason, think that they are better than me; who for some reason think they have more favor in God's eyes because of some of the mistakes I've made. But at the end of the day, we are all sinners. At one time or another, we've all fallen short of the glory, design and the plan that God has for our lives. So who is anyone to judge another? Why am I judged by my books' covers?
It used to hurt my heart to hear the haters, the naysayers and my adversaries say that the stories I write degrade our people; that they are trash, that the stories are demonic and not of God. Why wouldn't God be in me and in my stories when God is everywhere? God is omnipresent. And how could my writings not be of God when it was Him who gave me the gift in the first place? It was God who gave me the gift to write, the gift to entertain, the gift to uplift and motivate, and the gift to touch someone's life in a positive light. But most of all, He gave me the gift to save a soul through the written word.
I am what I write, but on the same token, I am not who I write about? Or am I? I was once asked by a fan at one of my book signings, "So, Ms. Turner, which character are you?"
I must admit, I was a little caught off guard by the question the woman standing before me with her arms crossed pretzel style, tapping her foot had posed; a woman who had a smirk on her face that signified to me that she was just so sure of herself that she could probably guess exactly which character I was without my even saying a word. Was I Yarnie, the hustler's wife, or Tressa, the project chick?
I thought long and hard about that question before I replied to the woman. "Well, I guess you could say that I'm all of my characters, but at the same time, I'm none of them." By now, a few other people in line who had heard the woman ask me the question had been drawn into the conversation. After I gave my reply, the woman looked over her shoulder at the other few fans and twist- ed her lips up as if to say, "Yeah, okay, right." And the others, too, looked around, as if the answer I had given was what I thought they wanted to hear instead of the truth.
But it was the truth. Nikki Turner may have some over the top, exaggerated tales, which is what makes a Nikki Turner original just that, but by no means have I ever had to exaggerate my own character. Some of the things I have been through in my life, I wouldn't even wish upon any of the characters in my books. Then there are some things that I've been through in my life that I feel must be shared with my reading fans. So how do I know what part of me goes into the stories and what part of me stays out? I seek the direction of the Holy Spirit.
Knowing how judgmental people can be, some of you have already discounted the fact that God could ever send His Holy Spirit down to direct my path and the words I write. But I beg to differ. There is no way I could have gotten where I am today without God. He brought me out of so many things. He brought me out of so much mess, and then He took all that mess I had been through and made it a blessing to the world. I now had something to write about that boiled from the depths of my soul.
Still, I'm often judged by my books' covers. People think that because I write in a genre that has been labeled everything from ghetto, to hood, to street fiction, that Nikki Turner, as a person, is ghetto, hood and street. I must admit, I do feel like there is some of me in every single character I pen into a story. I mean, these are the stories of our women, stories of our kids, our people. These are stories that mirror the streets and our reality
.
The stories I write are real. That is why people are able to relate- because they are true stories of the ones we know and love. These are stories that God birthed in me to tell. God didn't bring me through all the things He brought me through in order to just leave me stagnant. No, He had a purpose for my life, and this book thing is just a small part of it. This book thing is simply giving me a foundation so that I can make an even greater impact.
Some people say my words glamorize drugs, sex and violence and that I owe the public an apology for not having some sort of accountability, especially for the youth who pick up my works. I can only apologize to my Lord in heaven if I fail Him in any way for not taking advantage of the literary talents and gifts of which He has bestowed upon me. For not utilizing the platform that I know He has created for me by allowing me to be branded as The Queen of Hip-Hop Fiction.
It is not a title I have given to myself, but one that my loyal fan base has tattooed on my works, forcing me to always seek God for something greater each time I put my pen to paper. This is what challenges me and pushes me to continue doing what I do.
I know deep down inside that God wants me to be the evidence. What I mean by that is that He wants me to be the evidence for millions of young girls and women who think that standing still and going nowhere is better than going in the wrong direction. I was a single mother with two children left to fend for myself. At times, I didn't even know how I would feed them; how I would provide a place for them to live; how I would find a neighborhood that my children would get to go to the best schools instead of fearing walking to school period. That's the life I had lived. And any parent who doesn't want something better for their children, who doesn't want their children to live and be better than they are, should reevaluate themselves.
Life had dealt me a dirty hand, so often times I had to play dirty. I'm not perfect and did not live a sinless life, but even still, in the midst of it all, God still loved me and kept me. And because of my grandmother, Mrs. Margaret L. Scott, being a praying woman who kept me covered in prayer and made sure I knew whose I was, I always knew that I was blessed. I could feel it in my bones; even when I was so deep down in the valley that I thought I was being buried alive, I knew God had a blessing in it for me. All I had to do was stand and wait for my heavenly Father to provide me with the way.
Whenever I had a problem or a situation I felt I was going through, my grandmother used to always say to me, "It could be worse." I receive hundreds of emails and letters from people out there on the streets and in jail. After reading one of my books, they were compelled to share their own testimonies of the affects the streets had on them. And my grandmother was right; it could have been worse for me, because in those letters and emails is proof that it was worse for others.
As I read those pieces of correspondence, I knew literally that it could have been me. That it should have been me. But through God's grace and mercy, and the purpose He has in my life, it wasn't me. Like some of you, I don't understand why God chose me and in the manner of which He chose me. I don't know why He's using me and using me in this type of method. All I know is that right now, this literary thing is my purpose, and I'm going to trust in God for the other plans that He has for me.
All of us have a spiritual DNA that God wants us to use in a special way. That's why we all have our own special talents, gifts, skills and crafts. So why am I judged for using mine? Some may see my gift as a curse, but I thank God for enabling me to feed my babies off of the environment that once belonged to me; turning anything that I, myself, thought was a curse into a gift.
I truly thank God for all the blessings the stories I had and have in me have and will bring to me. Because of these blessings, I have two healthy children that I can keep a roof over their heads-legally. I have reliable transportation that I have obtained legally-not with blood money, but with the overflow of God's favor in my life. Most importantly, I have a peace of mind. I can lay down at night after an honest day's work and know that my life has not been in vain. It's during those nights that I can get into a humbling place of gratitude in my life and count my blessings.
Some have said that I wouldn't make it through life in one piece; that I wouldn't be able to wrestle through this game called life. Or if I did make it, that I'd never amount to anything. Back then, these were the seeds being planted in a young girl's mind, and probably rightfully so, because the road I was going down could have been lethal. But, thank God, that in addition to everybody just sitting around talking about me, that somebody was praying for me too!
Nikki Turner could have been in prison doing hard time, or strung out on drugs considering all that I have been through, or even worse (like my grandmother would say) I could have been dead. I'm not proud to say that at one time, Nikki Turner lived a life of sin; she lived the life of some of her characters, but not only did God forgive me for all my sins, He continues to forgive me for my sins on those times that I do fall short of His glory. But on top of that He continues to bless me and all that I do.
Back before I had ever picked up a pen to write a book, God spoke to me through Oprah one day when she looked at the camera and said, "You must do what- ever your passion is." My passion was journaling, writing, reading and basically surviving the game. Through all the mayhem that I had been delivered from, I finally got to a point where I wanted to finally take off the mask of guilt and shame. I was almost certain that others had been through some of the things I had been through. And it was then that I realized that sometimes God takes us through things, not the devil, but God takes us through things so that another person doesn't have to go through them. And unless I shared this part of me, God's plan for me would never manifest itself.
I immediately began to think of ways that I could share who Nikki Turner was with the world. I just had to share my testimony, and the testimony of others, through my works. I had to warn others that everything that glitters isn't gold. I had to warn women that every sugar daddy ain't sweet. I had to warn others that there are different paths in life to take other than those often traveled, leading to nothing but a dead end. And in order to do that, I had to show them evidence. And I, Nikki Turner, was bound and determined to be that evidence.
In being that evidence, I was forced to turn my own life around. If I was going to use my works to reach people across the world, then I had to obtain what I thought was the unreachable myself. I had to be who I said I was, and now, I have to be who I say I am. That is why I stand firmly in my response when I say, "I'm all of my characters, but at the same time, I'm none of them."
This may come as a surprise to some, but guess what? None of us are perfect. Though some of us may not want to admit it, we all have some sin in us. In reading the Bible, I discovered that every single prophet had his own problems; own trials to fight and overcome. If you don't believe me, you can refer to your Bibles and you will find that the Bible said it, not me. So, if I don't follow God's lead, and carry out the gift He has given me, then that is when I will truly, and deliberately, set out to fall short of all that He has for me. And with the help of strong, supporting and true friends, that is something that Nikki Turner never intends on doing.
Speaking of friends, so many friends have come and gone, stuck a knife through my back, talked about me behind my back, lied to and stole from me, but through it all, God carried and protected me with an undeserving grace and mercy. Often times I'd cry out to God and ask Him why I had to go through so much drama. But then, in the midst of my tears and pain, I remember that it's all a part of the plan. And that's what is even more amazing; that God made a way for me to be able to profit from my pain; my own personal pain that I don't always talk about, but put it in words instead.
I've talked to so many other authors who God has used their writings to deliver and heal them from their own pain. So, readers, whether you know it or not, when you pick up our books, often times you are lending a listening ear, and I thank you for that. I thank you for allowing me to share my ho
pes, my dreams, my pain, my mistakes, my sorrows and my sins without judging me; because even sinners have souls. Thank you for allowing me to share mine with you.
Nikki Turner
DOUBLE JEOPARDY
by
B.L.U.N.T.
PROLOGUE
"Mama, it's you!" Dinky opened his eyes wide. "Uncle Cannon, my mama's here!" he screamed.
She gripped her son's small mouth tightly. "Ssshhh, be quiet! Don't wake up your sisters," she whispered harshly. "Do you want them to take me away from you and your sisters forever? 'Cause they will, you know!" She released her hand from Dinky's mouth.
Dinky shook his head back and forth frantically. "No, of course not, Mama; but them, who? Who are you talking about, Mama? And why are you dressed like Auntie Dee?" He looked at the "plain Jane" ensemble of blue slacks and gray blouse. It was nothing like the fly gear he'd seen his mother wear.
"Ssshhh, Dinky. I told you to be quiet! I am your Auntie Dee! Do you hear me? Do you hear me?"
"Yes, Mama," Dinky whimpered.
"And you'd better not tell your sisters a thing!" she warned.