“Yeah… you too. Take care,” he said putting his helmet on and kicking his bike to life. He nodded and drove away, leaving me standing there wondering what exactly had just happened.
Chapter 3
I walked home from the park feeling as though I was standing still but everything around me was still moving. Every feeling I ever had felt in his presence came rushing back through my body.
It was all there inside me. All of the good mixed with all of the bad. One second I felt as though I was madly in love with him again and that we could never be apart, but then the next second I was upset with him and never wanted to see him again. I could feel the anger and frustration I had felt when he had joined the club.
Things before we had split up hadn’t always been perfect. We had been young and stupid and with that came all the foolish things young lovers do. That was just the way it was. But we were always very much in love with one another. Maybe too much so.
No matter how mad at the other one of us was, we always found a way to figure it out. Even when the world, or my parents seemed to be working against us, we made it work.
That was until he joined the stupid Brother’s MC. We’d already been fighting about something… I couldn’t remember what it had been, but then he told me about the club.
I remember running home with tears rolling down my face. It had felt as though I was running from a monster. The second I opened the front door, my mom was standing there asking me what had happened.
Then I had done the stupidest thing I’d ever done in my entire life. I told her he’d joined the Brother’s Rebellion. Then I told her my life was over.
I could still see the look on her face when I closed my eyes. She hadn’t said anything. It felt as though time had froze before she’d been able to call out to my dad and send me to my room as though I had done something wrong.
Hours later, they told me about the school they’d found. My mom kept saying how much trouble my dad had gone through to get me in. And she also said I’d be safe there. Then she told me I’d be leaving for my new home in less than a week.
Just like that, they were able to send me away and take me out of their lives. I felt like shit.
That week was a week of absolute hell. They wouldn’t let me out of their sight, not even for a minute. When I excused myself to use the bathroom, I was pretty sure one of them paced outside the door until I came out.
But up until that point, the disagreements Pike and I had, were stupid. Normal things that young love fights about. Maybe he’d said something I didn’t like or told a stupid joke. But he’d never lied, cheated or anything else like some of the other kids our age were doing.
I didn’t even want to think about what might have happened if he wouldn’t have joined the Brother’s Rebellion. Maybe I wouldn’t have been forced to move away. Although the blame couldn’t be put solely on my parents. I had wanted to get away too… at least a big part of me had. There wasn’t any way I could be with someone in the Brother’s MC.
I knew as much as everyone else in our town did that they were bad news. They were always causing some kind of trouble. If something went down, it was almost always linked to the Brother’s MC.
If someone heard gunshots… the police would be making a trip to the Brother’s clubhouse. When someone found a dead body floating in the river… they talked to the Brother’s first. But of course there were barely ever any arrests because the president of the MC had half of the local PD on their payroll.
I let out a big sigh as I walked inside my parents’ house. Pike had gone to prison. He’d done something so bad the Brother’s couldn’t figure out a way to get him out of facing the consequences.
That wasn’t something I wanted, or needed in my life. I didn’t want to be up worried all night about whether or not he’d be coming back to me in a body bag or not.
Even though I’d done the right thing, and listened to my parents, I could still remember being with him. I could still remember what it felt like to have his breath dancing against my neck. Or the feel of his hands smoothing across my body. If I closed my eyes I could remember in vivid detail exactly how good it felt to have him inside of me.
I wouldn’t admit it to a single living soul, but it would feel like heaven to be with him again. Just one last time.
He was so hot, more now than ever before, and just the thought of running my hands all over his solid body was sending heat to my cheeks. If only I could place my palms against his silky skin, feeling the hills and valley’s created by his muscles. To feel his lips pressed against mine and then all over my body.
“Jamie is that you?” my mother called out from the other room. I heard a gentle clink-clank of pots and pans and bowls and spoons as if she was preparing something. Probably making her hors d’oeuvres for those who might stop by after the funeral.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Where were you?”
“Oh I just stepped out for some fresh air,” I said looking into the kitchen and leaning my shoulder against the door frame.
“I see. I looked around for you outside but didn’t see you anywhere,” she said keeping her eyes focused on what she was working on.
“Did you need something?” I said assuming she was just being nosy.
She looked at the oven behind her and then quickly glanced at me, “Not any more.”
“You are going to too much trouble,” I said shaking my head. “What if no one comes by?”
“They’ll come by. And I have to serve something.” She wiped her hands on a towel before flipping it over her shoulder.
I shook my head, “Actually you probably don’t. No one is going to expect you to make up all this stuff after attending grandma’s funeral.”
My mom looked up and me and I saw the sadness in her eyes. She wasn’t doing this for them, she was doing it to keep her mind off of her loss. My heart sank, and I forced myself not to cry.
“I’m sure they’ll love it,” I said waving my hand. “What are you making?”
“I already told you… remember?”
“Oh yeah,” I said. I think she had talked to me about recipes when my mind had been on Pike. Although I couldn’t think of a single dish she’d mentioned. “Let me know if you need any help. Going upstairs.”
She nodded and went back to busying her mind and her hands. I turned and walked upstairs.
I went into my bedroom and closed the door. The thoughts of Pike started filling my mind again, and I flopped down on my full-sized bed. It was like a montage as the memories floated by one by one of every time Pike and I had ever been together.
At first I wanted to push the thoughts away, but then I don’t know what happened. I wanted to hold on to each thought for as long as I possibly could. I didn’t want to let them go.
If I closed my eyes hard enough, I could almost feel his warm body on top of mine. It was as though I could almost feel his skin gliding against mine. My hand slid down my body as I let the thoughts overwhelm me. I allowed myself to remember exactly what it felt like to have him inside me.
In my entire life he had been the only one that ever made me feel beautiful and sexy. And he was the only one who could ever completely satisfy me. If only he had been with me right now… together again for one amazing last time.
I glided my hand down inside my pants as I closed my eyes and clung onto the thoughts of him. I wanted him here with me. My hips rocked into my hand and I parted my lips.
His name was the only name I could think of. I bit my lip as I brought myself over the edge. My hips rolled slowly as I came back down to earth and my thoughts of Pike slowly drifted away as if they hadn’t ever existed. I tried to reach out to them, but they popped as if they were tiny, little bubbles.
“Oh, shit,” I whispered and buried my face into my pillow. Instead of relieving any pressure to help me forget about him, I only wanted him more.
There was only one thing that could help me forget about him. I got up out of the bed and wen
t downstairs to help my mom with the hors d’oeuvres.
I wouldn’t tell her that I’d seen him, but she still had a way about her that would help get my thoughts stuck on something else. We’d probably end up arguing over something random, but at least I wouldn’t be thinking about him.
I needed to get the thoughts of him out of my mind before I did something I’d regret.
Chapter 4
Early the next morning I got up and went out for a walk to get myself a large coffee. I felt it was absolutely necessary in preparation for the day ahead of me.
I tried not to think about the funeral, my mother, or Pike as I walked quickly through the streets towards the coffee shop I used to visit every day. It was probably about a mile or so from my parents’ house and by the time I got there, I had built up a bit of a sweat.
I probably looked like crap, but it didn’t matter since I’d just get my coffee and head back home. There would be time to shower when I got back to the house.
I was surprised that it actually felt good to be out moving my body and getting some fresh air. And thankfully not many people were out and about this early in the morning.
I pushed open the door and a little bell jingled just that way it used to. Nothing had changed about this place. The woman who came out of the back, Mrs. Olsen, was the same women who had brought me my coffee years ago. When she smiled at me, I knew she recognized me.
“How’ve you been, sweetheart? What can I get for ya? Coffee? Black?” she asked with a huge smile.
“Sounds perfect,” I said smiling back. Her smile was contagious and I hadn’t realized at first but I had unknowingly mirrored it.
She turned to go get my coffee, but paused and looked over her shoulder. “He’s right over there… I’ll bring it out to you when it’s ready, dear.”
“Sorry?”
“Over there. By the window,” she said with a quick flick of her hand before she moved to the back wall and pulled out a large to-go cup. It looked as though she was purposefully taking her time to get my coffee prepared.
I took a few steps to the side to look around the counter to see if I could spot who she was talking about. Sitting at the table, looking out of the window was Pike.
He had his leg up on the chair opposite from where he sat. When he brought his coffee up to his lips to take a sip, he noticed me standing there staring at him.
“Good morning,” he said from across the small room.
The only time Pike ever got coffee was when he had been with me. Was he only here because he was hoping to run into me? Or maybe he’d just become a coffee drinker since I’d left.
“Morning,” I said as Mrs. Olsen stepped out from behind the counter to hand me my cup of coffee. She smiled as I thanked her with a smile and a small nod.
I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was happy to see him. Especially today. There was just something about him that made me feel calmer. If only I could have dragged him along to the funeral. I smiled at the thought. My parents would completely freak out. They’d probably call the police.
“What’s so funny?” he asked with a smile as he pushed the chair towards me with the tip of his boot.
“Oh, nothing. So you drink coffee now?” I said raising an eyebrow.
“Every morning,” he said with a sexy smirk. I wasn’t sure if he was being truthful or if he was trying to be funny.
I looked at the chair and was tempted to sit down. After having seen him last night my mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of him. And he was sitting there looking so damn hot. I thought about what it would feel like to have his hands on me.
“I can’t stay,” I blurted out almost too loudly. My eyes shifted towards the window.
He stood up and with one big step he was standing in front of me. He was so close I could smell his intoxicating scent. I wanted to close my eyes and inhale the scent so deeply that I would never forget it. If only I could keep it with me always.
“Babe… just give me ten minutes,” he said in a hushed, deep voice. It tapped against my heart.
“I wish I could but I really can’t… funeral.”
Pike lowered his head. He realized there wasn’t anything he could or should say to try to get me to stay. I would have preferred to stay with him rather than to go to a funeral and cry my eyes out.
“Well if not now, later then. Meet up with me tonight, or tomorrow. I’ll be there whenever you can make the time.”
“Pike… I, ahhh….”
“I’m just asking for—”
“I know what you’re asking,” I said finally looking into his gorgeous eyes. The eyes that pulled at me like they were two powerful magnets that I couldn’t resist. The ones that made it so hard to say no. “What’s the point? It can’t happen. Nothing can happen. I live in the city… my life is there. And you know how it is. You have your club and I have my life. Why do this to ourselves?”
The words spilled out of me. I felt embarrassed. I tried to take a step away from him so I could breathe the air that wasn’t filled with his scent. It was the only way I could clear my head so I could think straight before I said something else I wouldn’t be able to unsay.
“Just one night. I’m not asking for anything more than just two old friends catching up. That’s all. Please, Jamie,” he said resting his hand on the side of my shoulder. My whole body tensed and then a shiver ran down my spine before my whole body tingled.
“I’m not sure. It’s probably not a good idea,” I said glancing at the door behind me. I felt like running away before I gave in and agreed to meet up with him. Because that was exactly what I wanted to do… see him again. And if that happened, it would be hard not to go to that place I wanted to just one last time.
He smiled as if he could see he had me, “Just one night. I’m not asking for anything other than to see you. To talk. I’ll be on my best behavior I promise.”
“Um….”
“I’ll pick you up—”
“Oh, OK fine. I’ll meet you at the park,” I said lightly removing his hand from my arm. “But for now, I really have to get going.”
“Be there at eight and don’t be late,” he said leaving his cup on the table and turning towards the door. He kept his eyes focused on me as he lightly brushed his body against mine. My body warmed from head to toe.
“I’ll try,” I said but the bell at the top of the door was already ringing as it closed behind him.
I stood there holding my coffee cup starting at the door. His motorcycle started up and finally when I couldn’t hear it any more, I was able to make my body move.
Mrs. Olsen waved at me as I left the coffee shop. I waved back as I brought the coffee cup up to my lips to take a sip. I knew the liquid was going to be too hot, but I started to drink it anyway. The second the coffee touched my tongue, I winced at the pain.
“Dammit,” I mumbled at the coffee cup as though it was to blame for my mistake as I crossed the empty street.
I don’t know why I agreed to see him. It wasn’t like anything would change. He had his life, and I had mine… it didn’t matter how much I missed him.
It didn’t matter that he was so amazingly hot and that I couldn’t get him out of my head. It was clear that things between us wouldn’t ever work. He had to know that too.
The club was bad news. Everyone knew it. Pike probably even knew it. I didn’t need my parents to tell me to stay away from the Brother’s. If I could go back in time, and make it so he never joined the MC, maybe, just maybe things could have been different.
I had my life, a few friends and my job. There was no way I wanted to be that woman. The one that would sit there worrying about when and if her man would come home. I didn’t want to be the woman with two kids and who was widowed early in life because her husband had been killed in a shootout by a rival club.
It just wasn’t the life I wanted. And definitely not the one my parents would ever allow me to have even though I was a grown woman. I didn’t need them to tell me
I couldn’t be with Pike… I could see that all painfully well enough on my own.
I walked into the house and ran up the stairs. The second I closed my bedroom door I set down my coffee on my nightstand and started to undress. I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the water. The cool water actually helped to clear my mind, or maybe it was the fact that I was back home and would have to go with my family to bury my grandma that had done the trick.
After I was dressed, I went downstairs. My brother was sitting at the kitchen table leaning back in a chair looking at his phone. He was already all dressed.
“When did you get here?” I asked without bothering to say hello.
“Late last night. Everyone was sleeping,” he said with a grin.
“Smart,” I said crossing my arms and leaning against the door frame.
“How are things with you?” he asked looking at me as though he didn’t like what I was wearing. Everyone once in a while part of him would slip out that reminded me of our mother and I was pretty sure he didn’t realize it was there.
I decided on a black button-down shirt, black pants, black flats and I was holding a pair of dark, black framed sunglasses. Maybe it was a bit much.
“OK, I suppose… and you?” I asked. The only time my brother Jake and I really spoke was when there was a wedding in the extended family or a death. When there wasn’t some kind of family event, he kept to himself and I did the same.
I don’t know why but we never were really very close. We would have each other’s backs, but we were just very different people. And that was OK with us.
“Same old, same old,” he said and I could tell he was biting his tongue. Even though I barely ever saw him, I could read his every expression.
I looked down at my outfit and then back up at him, “My clothes? Too much?”
“A bit. But it’s a funeral I guess. If you had little braids you’d remind me of Wednesday Adams,” he said and snapped his fingers twice.
Jake took in a deep breath and stood. He tilted his head as though he was examining me and then he crossed his arms. He looked around the room and I knew he was checking to see if anyone was in earshot. “Guess what the first thing mom said to me was after she said a brief hello?”
Revenge - A Second Chance, First Time Romance Page 18