This was just the way it had to be under the circumstances. I didn’t even know who was to blame. The club? My family? Me?
There wasn’t anything I could do to make this work. No matter how much either of us wanted it to, it just wouldn’t because he was in the MC.
I refused to have anything to do with the club and their guns and their wars. My parents would either have nothing to do with me, or they’d use their money and power to make my life a living hell. They would never accept Pike. Never.
I wouldn’t be the woman who sat there wondering where her man was in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t be the woman pacing in front of the window waiting to hear his bike pull into the driveway. I wouldn’t be the woman called to the police station to identify the man in a body bag that had been shot down by a rival MC.
Pike had been OK with the fact that the club let him take the fall and go to prison for them. But I wasn’t OK with it. He shouldn’t have gone. At least not any more than any of the others. I didn’t even want to know all the things he had to do to be a part of the Brother’s Rebellion.
If he would have told me he’d shot someone for some reason or another I wouldn’t have even been surprised, and the thought of that bothered me. Even if he had killed someone it would be because he felt as though he had to. Like giving in to peer pressure.
I mean, he would have made sure there were good reasons, but he would have pulled the trigger for the club. But the one thing I did know for sure was that he wasn’t the type of person that would take pleasure in something like that.
My stomach started to spin like a wash machine on spin cycle at the thought of leaving him. I hated the club, but I still had a lot of feelings for Pike. Feelings that I was pretty sure would never go away. And that had seemed to have grown even though we’d been apart for so long.
When I took a step towards the door, he looked at me. The painful look on his face was nearly heartbreaking. He looked lost… as lost as I felt.
I coughed and straightened my spine, “I should go.”
“Let me give you a ride,” he said pulling on his shirt.
“No,” I said firmly. I had to leave. It was time for me to go. No matter what, I couldn’t prolong this any longer. “I’ll be fine. I really just want a little time to myself before going back home.”
“Sure,” he said with a nod. “Leaving now?”
“Yes,” I said combing my fingers through my hair.
“Let me walk you out,” he said walking to the bedroom door. He turned the knob and pulled it open. I couldn’t even look at him as I moved by him.
I took a deep breath and walked down the hall, through the living room and stopped at the front door. My hands gripped each other causing my fingers to feel numb.
“Thanks for the last couple days… its been fun. Really.”
“Yeah, for me too,” he said quickly as if he didn’t want to hear me say anything more. He took a step forward, “Jamie, I ah….”
“Good bye Hyde.”
He sucked in a sharp, deep breath, “Good bye.”
He sniffed loudly and opened the door. Pike turned his head to the side as I stepped onto the porch and walked away from his house.
I could feel his eyes on me and begged myself not to cry. If even the tiniest of tears fell, he’d be able to tell. Somehow. I had to hold it together at least until I heard the door close.
And that’s exactly what I did. But once I heard the door close, my shoulders slumped, and I put my hand over my mouth as the tears fell.
* * *
When I walked into my parents’ house my mom was sitting on a living room chair facing the front door. My dad was pacing back and forth behind her. They both looked up at me as I entered the house slowly closing the door behind me.
“What’s going on?” I said as the feeling that something bad had happened washed over me. They both looked so serious… more serious than normal.
“Jamie, would you sit down please?” my mom said, but I was confused by her tone. Her hands were folded in her lap and she pressed her thumbs so hard against one another they were white from the pressure.
“OK,” I said looking back and forth between my parents. I had a sinking feeling that maybe something had happened to Jake. Maybe they tossed him into rehab again. This had to be about Jake. What else could it be? Oh, shit. Poor Jake.
My mom crossed her thin legs and looked into my eyes as my dad placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. “Jamie there has been some talk around town.”
I tapped my foot. I realized nothing had happened with Jake. This wasn’t about Jake or anything else. Everything was fine, except for the fact I had just walked into an intervention.
“We’ve heard from multiple sources,” my dad said as if that would somehow make his point more valid.
“What exactly have you heard? What’s going on? You guys are kind of freaking me out.”
My mom cleared her throat and looked up at my dad before shifting her weight forward on the chair. “We’ve heard that you’ve been out with him again. Is it true? Is that where you’ve been running off to?”
“Please tell us it’s not true,” my dad said shaking his head.
“Oh Jesus Christ,” I said putting my hand over my heart. I swallowed down the thick lump in my throat. It was strange. After everything, I didn’t really even care that they had found out. If they wanted to disown me, so be it. “And what if I have been?”
“You know better than that!” my dad said pivoting his foot to continue his pacing. He threw his hands into the air and his face turned bright red. “He’s a criminal, Jamie! He’s been to prison. Don’t you get it? Don’t you see? I don’t think you even realize the kind danger you were in just being around those crooks!”
“Oh please, dad. Come on,” I said trying to keep my voice down. “You know he’s not a criminal.”
“I don’t know that,” my dad shouted at me.
“It doesn’t matter, this is over. It’s done. It’s time for you to go back home,” my mom said shaking her head and refusing to meet my eyes.
“What? Are you kicking me out?” I chuckled even though it wasn’t really funny.
“I didn’t say that,” she said, but that’s exactly what she was doing. “Your fun little escapade is over. I’ll help you pack.”
“Mom!” I shouted with wide eyes.
“Do you really want that life, Jamie? Do you? Do you want to be with someone who shoots guns at people and drinks all the time? God only knows what else he’s doing. I’ve seen the kinds of women that traipse around that place.” My mom turned to my dad, and he put his arm around her shoulders as the bobbed up and down with her sobs. She lightly coughed into a loose fist, “You should probably get tested.”
“You know what?” I shouted as I stood up and turned on my heel. “I don’t need this stupid shit from either of you.”
I stomped up the stairs trying to keep myself composed as I saw them in the corner of my eye walking off like they were a pair of wounded birds. Leaving Pike had been emotionally draining and now I had to deal with this on top of it all?
I couldn’t believe them. Controlling. Manipulative. I just wanted to get out of here as fast as I could. All of this was why I avoided coming back home in the first place.
I slammed my bedroom door closed and threw everything I had brought with me into my suitcase. It didn’t matter if it was in a heaped up disorganized mess. Just like my life.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced over to see it was Pike. I couldn’t answer it, even if he was the only person in the whole world I actually wanted to talk to in this moment.
If I answered it would make everything harder. I was barely holding it together the way it was and if he asked me to stay… I’m not sure I could walk away.
I swiped the phone to send it to voicemail and finished packing. All I needed to do was to get out of here… out of this house. Out of this town. For good.
Chapter 16
I didn’t have muc
h, but I brought my bags out to my car. Neither of my parents came outside to help me, not that I wanted or needed their help.
Hopefully the slamming of the front door had sent a loud and clear message. They probably didn’t even care… as long as I wasn’t with Pike, they didn’t care where I was.
It felt childish, but to me they seemed to be acting completely crazy. I was a grown woman for Christ’s sake. I didn’t need either of them telling me what I could or couldn’t do. It wasn’t like I really cared what the people in this town thought of me or Pike.
We both already knew things wouldn’t work, but that was our business. It wasn’t like either of us needed anyone to tell us that.
I looked down the block towards the stop sign at the end of the road. There was a small part of me that hoped I’d see Pike waiting there. Begging me to stay with him. Telling me that everything would be OK and that we could make things work. He would tell me that I just had to give him a chance. That he would give up the club to be with me, but I knew that wouldn’t happen.
I sighed and got inside my car. My fingers shook as I tried to put the key into the ignition. If my parents wanted me out of their house, I’d be more than happy to oblige.
I gripped the steering wheel tightly and chewed on my cheek. I took a deep breath trying to relax my muscles, but it didn’t work. Every muscle was tensed from the stress and I was starting to get a headache.
I started the car and slowly backed out of the driveway and away from my parents’ house. It took everything I had to keep my eyes focused on the road and not look back at the house as I drove down the road.
My mom would probably call in an hour or so in tears. She’d try to explain things and tell me how sad and disappointed she was that I’d driven off without saying goodbye. Then she’d go on to tell me that her and my dad had their reasons for telling me I couldn’t see him. Blah, blah, blah.
After that she’d beg me to try to be reasonable. Somehow it would all turn into my fault and I’d probably even end up apologizing knowing me. But maybe not this time. Maybe this time would be different.
I drove through the town and got up on the interstate towards home. My stomach felt heavy, like it was filled with lead.
There was a small part of me that wondered if I was doing the right thing. Not the part about driving away from my parents, the part about driving away from Pike.
It felt as though I was making a mistake, but I quickly shook away the feeling. I had missed him… that was all it was.
My phone rang, and I glanced at it for a second. I was curious who was calling, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off of the road.
It was a text message from Pike. My heart skipped a beat, but I reached over and flipped my phone upside-down so I wouldn’t be tempted to pull over and read the message. I needed to get out of town before I could even think about looking at it. The further away, the better. I needed to clear my head.
When I was about ten miles away from Greenwood Pass, the tears started to fall down my cheeks. It was almost unexpected. With each passing mile the drive was getting more and more difficult.
Was I doing the right thing? If driving away and going back to my life was the right choice why did it feel so shitty?
If I wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me why was I fighting against it with every ounce of my being? Was I really only running because of the club? Although, that was a pretty good reason.
Maybe it was because of my parents. I didn’t want to disappoint them and I knew they would never accept him. Never.
But that was their problem… not mine. I only live once. Why was I really running from Pike?
It struck me like a bolt of lightning. I wasn’t running because I feared the club… I was running because I was afraid of losing someone I loved so much. I was trying to protect my future self.
If I let him into my life and then something happened. It would tear me apart. So rather than being happy with the time I could have, I would never even let myself have happiness. Then I couldn’t miss what I never had.
I wanted to be with Pike. There wouldn’t be anyone else that could make me feel the way he did. And even if by some miracle I’d meet someone that could make me feel close to the same it wouldn’t matter, they wouldn’t be Pike.
There wasn’t anyone that could hold a candle to Pike as far as I was concerned. Being with someone else wouldn’t ever come close to being the same as it was when I was with Pike. I smiled at the revelation as to why I’d never let anyone into my life.
Pike and I had a history. It felt like we were meant to be together. I think we both always knew it but it always seemed so complicated. The truth was it was simple. We just had to be together.
I exited the interstate and pulled into a gas station. My hands shook as I put the car into park and picked up my phone.
His message was to the point. Pike wanted to know if I had already left town or if he could see me just one last time. He also said that if I was still around, he’d be at the club’s warehouse and that it would mean a lot if I could stop by. Or if I didn’t like that option he was up for meeting me anywhere I wanted. The last part of the message simply said, “Please text/call.”
I stared at the words as the tears streamed down my cheeks. Nothing about driving away felt right. I quickly wiped away my tears and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly between my lips.
He was at the club’s warehouse. The words practically flashed at me in bright neon letters, reminding me of one of the biggest reasons things could never work out.
I pressed my hands into my face and yelled out my frustrations into them. My hands dropped down, and I picked up the phone. I turned it on and my fingers shook as I typed in my response.
G-O-O-D B-Y-E P-I-K-E.
Then I tapped send before I could change my mind again.
Chapter 17
I pulled out of the parking spot and drove down the road that would take me back to the interstate. The light changed from yellow to red and I stopped my car. I looked out the window at the green sign. One way pointed to Greenwood Pass and the other would take me home.
The car behind me beeped when the light changed and I didn’t move quickly enough for them. I waved an apology and turned the car towards home.
I drove for five minutes before my hands and my heart took over. Whatever took control over me wasn’t going to let me go home.
I exited again and turned around. My lips curled into a huge smile as I drove back towards Greenwood Pass. Back towards Pike.
It felt like putting the last piece in a puzzle. Everything felt right. I was done fighting it.
To hell with my parents. To hell with all the gossiping townsfolk. To hell with the club.
I wanted to be with Pike and he wanted to be with me. My heart had battled my brain, and it was winning. And I was glad that it was.
When I got back into town, I drove towards Pike’s house hoping he was home. His bike wasn’t in the driveway so I assume the was still at the warehouse.
I pulled up to the curb and tried to call but there was no answer. My phone glowed in the darkness that was falling around me as I tapped out a text and sent it letting him know I wanted to see him. I didn’t say anything about my decision about wanting to try to be together. I wanted to see his face when I told him.
The warehouse was on the outskirts of town but it wasn’t a long drive from his place. I pulled up at the front of the building and parked on the street. I checked my phone… no message, so I tucked it into my pocket and stepped out of the car.
As I walked towards the warehouse, I heard footsteps behind me. I swallowed hard and tightened my hand into a fist clutching my car keys.
When I glanced behind me I half-expected to see someone else, maybe someone from The Wild Henchmen, but thankfully it wasn’t. I felt relieved when I saw Stone, Pike’s best friend, catching up to me.
“What are you doing ‘round these parts?” Stone said with a half-grin. I couldn’t tell if he
was being protective of the club, nosy, or genuinely surprised at seeing me.
“Oh, I was back in town for a funeral.”
“That I knew. What I meant was, what are you doing ‘round these parts? The club’s warehouse.” Stone nodded towards the building and lit up a cigarette.
“Oh. I’m looking for Pike. He left me a message… have you seen him?”
“Think that’s a good idea?”
I frowned and narrowed my eyes at him, “Why? What did he say?”
“Not much. Just that you were back. Might it be better if you just left… not put him through all that again?”
Self-doubt started to creep back into my veins. Maybe Stone was right… maybe everyone was right, and that I shouldn’t be here.
“I don’t want to put him through anything,” I said shaking my head.
“The guys been in love with you since we were twelve. I don’t want to see him go through what he did the last time you left,” Stone said keeping his eyes locked on mine.
I rubbed my hands hard against one another, “I don’t want to leave… I want to—”
My sentence was cut short when a nearly deafening blast erupted from somewhere nearby. I ducked my head slightly but when another boom shook the ground, I dropped my whole body to the ground.
I looked at Stone to see if he knew what was happening, but he was looking around frantically trying to make sense of the situation. He crouched down next to me and put his arms over me protectively.
“What was that,” I said and even though we were right next to each other I felt very far away. I wasn’t even sure if he had heard me.
My heart raced as I looked around. It felt as though it was going to climb up my throat and leap right out of my mouth. Other than the noise, nothing had seemed changed, but I knew something was wrong.
Then I saw what had happened. The orange glow was starting to consume the warehouse.
“Jesus Christ!” Stone shouted and forced me to look into his eyes. “Are you OK?”
“I’m… I’m fine,” I said touching my body all over as if trying to make sure I was telling the truth. I was still in one piece as far as I could tell.
Revenge - A Second Chance, First Time Romance Page 25