When I was living with Brad, I cooked a little bit. It was mostly easy stuff. Since he'd been gone, I never cooked at all. Five years is a long time not to cook, but I had a great time with Carrie's mom and promised myself I would start learning to cook more than what came out of a can. I could cook for just me. There was nothing wrong with that.
“That boy likes you,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
“Lance,” she said. “He likes you.”
“Oh no,” I said. “We just met a few weeks ago.”
“That doesn't matter,” she said. “I can tell from the way he looks at you. He is definitely into you. What do you think of him?”
“He's okay,” I said. “I like messing with him. We were together twice. I made the decision to stop talking to him, but Carrie needed to move and he volunteered to help.”
“So he could see you?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “It had nothing to do with that. He's really good friends with Scott. He volunteered so Scott wouldn't be so worried about Carrie lifting things.”
“No way,” she said. “I might be old, but I'm not that old, Lucy. That boy volunteered so he could see you. He makes more money than he will ever spend. He's their star pitcher. I bet he'd have paid to hire someone for Carrie if it weren't for you being there.”
“It's not like that,” I said. “We've talked about everything. Neither of us wants a relationship. Do you have any idea how many women hang on a man like that?”
James came running into the room and jumped into my arms. I sure was going to miss the little guy. Carrie's sleepy ass was right behind him.
“You're like a month and a half pregnant. Don't use that as an excuse for why you're tired,” I said with a laugh.
“You need to hush, woman,” she said. “I didn't sleep much last night.”
“Why would that be?” I asked with a smile, as I looked over at Carrie's mom and winked.
“Shut up, Lucy,” Carrie yelped out.
The guys came in just as dinner was getting done. I looked around the room with a smile on my face at the group of people around me. It was nice to be somewhere with people that wanted to be there. I knew I'd be back to visit with Carrie's family often. Of course, someone had to ruin my moment.
“What's that smile about?” Lance asked before turning to face Carrie's mom. “Did Lucy cook any of this?”
“She did,” Carrie's mom answered. “We had a great time.”
When he looked back at me, I knew what he was trying to say.
“Let me get your plate, Lance,” I said. “I made a special piece of lasagna just for you.”
I cut off a huge piece and put it on a plate before getting him some vegetables and bread.
“I don't want that piece,” he said.
“It's safe, I promise,” I said.
“Stop messing with that boy, Lucy. She didn't do anything to your lasagna. She didn't even know which one was which. Go eat,” Carrie's mom told him.
He walked off mumbling, and I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't laugh.
“You are awful,” she said, as she pushed my arm.
I shrugged my shoulders and made a plate for myself. Then I walked into the living room and looked for a spot.
“Right here,” Lance said. “Sit your ass down.”
“I think I'll sit over there,” I said, pointing to opposite side of the room.
“I said sit down, Firecracker,” he demanded.
Without another thought I walked over and sat down next to him. I was sure if I looked up, I would see Carrie's eyes bugging out her head. Nobody ever told me what to do. There was no way I was looking anywhere but at my plate.
“This lasagna is delicious,” Lance said.
“Don't you cook?” Carrie's mom asked.
“No,” he said. “It's just me at my place. I don't know the first thing about cooking anything. When I'm not on the road, I just go out or pick stuff up.”
“He has plenty of women to cook for him,” I said from beside him.
“Maybe the two of you could cook together,” Carrie's mom said, and I turned to give her the please stop now look.
“Are you kidding,” I said. “He's a big-time player. He could just hire someone to cook for him. I bet he has someone make his bed for him every morning.”
“No,” he said. “I don't hire anyone to do anything for me.”
The way he said it had me thinking for a moment. I didn't know shit about him or his life. He was right, I was judging him based on his career. I'd made jokes about how much money he made just for throwing a ball. I didn't make shit compared to him, but I wouldn't want someone making fun of what I did.
“I'm sorry,” I said.
It was the first time in so long since I'd apologized to anyone for anything. Carrie looked over at me, and I knew she knew how huge that I'm sorry was. Nobody said anything for a few minutes. Then Carrie's dad started talking about baseball. When I was done eating, I stood up and looked down at Lance.
“Do you want more lasagna?” I asked.
He looked up at me with a questioning look.
“I was just kidding earlier. You haven't run for the bathroom yet have you?” I asked, as I tried not to laugh. “Give me your plate. I'll get you more.”
Once we were all done with dinner and dessert, we all sat and watched some cartoon movie James wanted to watch. I'd been at Carrie's often, so it was nothing new to me. I'd seen the thing at least ten times already. Lance was totally glued to the screen waiting to find out what happened. It made me laugh out loud.
“What's so funny?” he asked, pulling his attention away from the screen.
“Just seeing you, the star pitcher of the Pittsburgh Pirates, watching this cartoon like you can't wait to find out what happens. I don't know.”
He shook his head and smiled.
“I haven't seen a show like this in years. It's pretty cool,” he said.
I felt a weird feeling I hadn't felt in a long time move through me and had to get out of there. I stood up and was out the front door in seconds. I heard the door open and close again, but I didn't look back at it.
“You okay?” Carrie's mom asked.
“I'm fine,” I said. “I just needed a little air.”
“He's getting to you,” she said. “Why are you fighting it?”
“Because I have to,” I said.
“I'm here to talk, Lucy,” she said. “When you're ready.”
She handed me a piece of paper with her phone number on it.
“You've been so good for Carrie. Thank you for everything. I really like you. You feel like part of the family. I'd like to keep in touch if that's okay.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said. “You're one of us.”
She pulled me in for a hug and I felt a few tears run down my cheek.
“Thank you,” I said. “I'd like that. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
I brushed the tears away from my eyes and walked back into the house. His eyes connected with mine for just a second before I pulled mine away. I could have sworn there was concern in his, but I didn't stop to find out. Instead, I walked up the stairs and down the hall to the bathroom.
When I finally went back to living room, I knew I was back to normal. The normal I let the world see anyway. I sat back down in my seat. When his hand touched my leg, I quickly pulled away.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Perfect as always,” I answered.
I couldn't help but watch him out of the corner of my eye as he watched the end of the movie. He looked relieved that everything had worked out for everyone.
“You do know it's just a show, right?” I whispered.
“Shut it, woman,” he whispered back.
Carrie put James to bed. She wasn't leaving him after she had just gotten back. I could tell Scott was bummed but he was right there with her. The two guys went into one room while Carrie and I went into the room rig
ht next to theirs.
My emotions were everywhere. I knew it was just from being tired. A good night sleep was all I needed. We were ready for bed and crawling in when she said something and I burst into laughter. I couldn't even tell you what it was. Sleep was definitely in order. The bed we were in was huge and was against the wall. The guys had sleeping bags on the floor in the room they were in. All I could think about was Lance being that close and how it would have been really nice to be in his arms. It seemed like I slept better that way. I'm sure it would have been that way with anyone, but he was the only one I'd ever let stay all night.
Carrie had just finished something she had been saying when I heard the guys talking. We could hear every word they were saying, but until then, it had been about the team. When Scott spoke, both Carrie and I listened.
“What do you think of Lucy?” he asked.
“She's a pain in my ass,” Lance snapped.
“You two left that party together after Carrie announced you'd already done it once. What's up with that?” Scott asked.
“The same thing that's up with the other women I spend my time with. We're just having fun. She doesn't even like baseball. Can you believe that shit? She made some wisecrack the other day about my entire life revolving around balls. The woman pisses me off,” Lance answered.
“How long do you think the two of you will have fun together?” Scott asked.
“What do you care?” Lance snapped with a rough tone to his voice. “You never have before. We'll have fun until I say we're done having fun. Then I'll be on my way.”
I knew we were just having fun. I'd said that just as much as he had, but when he said those words, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so glad the lights were out and Carrie couldn't see the tears in my eyes. It felt horrible to hear a man say when he was done with you he'd be on his way. That was when I realized the feelings I'd had earlier were wrong and I needed to snap out of it. It was just another reminder that I was meant to be alone. That was what I deserved, and I knew it.
I tried not to listen to the rest of their conversation, but I couldn't help it.
“I care because she's Carrie's friend. She was there for my girl when nobody was. I don't want her to get hurt,” Scott said.
It did feel good that Scott was going to bat for me.
“That will never happen. I don't think that's possible. I'm not sure why I even bother with someone that doesn't take my career seriously. She talks shit about how overpaid I am to throw a ball across a field, while she doesn't make shit to juggle numbers for a company,” Lance said.
That shit hurt too. I knew I deserved it after I'd gone off about what he did for a living, but it still hurt to hear him say I didn't make shit to juggle numbers. He felt like I was lower than him, and that only made my tears come faster.
“She doesn't make shit?” Scott asked.
“Oh damn,” Lance replied. “I forgot you paid her. Sorry about that man. Pay attention. She made fun of the game. I should have cut her off just for her mouth.”
I guess he did have a point. I made fun of what he was obviously passionate about. It wasn't just about the money for him, and I was learning that quickly. He really did love his job. I'm sure the ladies helped though.
“Why don't you?” Scott asked.
“Like I said,” Lance started. “We're having fun. She doesn't expect anything. Look at her. Instead of trying to get me to drop a load of money on her, she'd rather stay home. You know the women we meet aren't like that. They want tons of shit, and then they get all clingy thinking they've hit the jackpot. She doesn't even answer her phone half the time. When she does, she acts like I'm a bother to her. Can't ask for more than that. I can put up with her mouth to be able to walk away at the end.”
Fuck, I thought. What an asshole. I knew I used guys for one night and walked away. We were just in it for fun. I'd never once been made to feel the way Lance was making me feel. I'd never put myself in that position again, I thought to myself. He'd made me look like a complete idiot in front of Carrie. I knew she could hear every word. It didn't matter that she wasn't saying anything.
“Don't you ever want to settle down?” Scott asked.
“Look,” Lance snapped at him. “Just because you went all soft, doesn't mean the rest of us have to. I get that you found the love you'd lost. I'm happy for you, man. I just don't want that shit for myself. Maybe I'll want that once I'm done playing, but I don't want it now. There are too many ladies out there for me to settle on one. That is not happening. If I did get knocked on my ass like you, it definitely wouldn't be with a mouthy woman that acts like I don't mean shit to her. It will be one that hangs on my every word and does exactly as I say.”
That was the last thing I heard before they moved on to talk about something else. Just when my eyes started to finally close, Carrie whispered.
“Lucy”
“Goodnight,” was all I said.
There was no way I was talking about any of what I'd just heard. I already felt bad enough that she'd heard him too.
Chapter 4
Lance
I was so pissed when Scott started questioning me about being with Lucy. It was none of his fucking business. Who did he think he was, I wondered? What did he care? He had no business trying to play the role of her dad or anything else for that matter. She was Carrie's friend, not his. My blood was boiling, and I was honestly ready to kick the shit out of him.
My brain was already fucking with me when it came to her. I hadn't known her long at all. It made no sense that I was concerned with her feelings. When I watched her walk toward the stairs after coming back into the house, I wanted to go to her. She had been crying. I could see the redness and tears in her eyes, and it pulled at my heart so damn bad. That was not okay. Then she came back and pulled away from my touch. I was pissed and hurt. I didn't do hurt, ever.
When Scott started questioning me, I was already having a hard time with what was going on with me. He only made it worse. I was being unreasonable. I could see that later. He had a right to ask. She was his woman's best friend. I knew he had zero interest in her, but at the time, I didn't see it that way. I saw some asshole asking questions about a woman he didn't need to be bothering with. Why, I didn't know. All I knew was that he shouldn't have been.
I was pissed, and I let shit fly out of my mouth without thinking. I was thinking really. I was thinking that I didn't give a shit about her. I was thinking we were in it for fun. I was thinking that she had made it very clear she didn't want to get to know me for anything other than a good time here and there when she had nothing better to do. I'd been fine with that. I was still fine with that. That was how it was supposed to be. I had a career that was only getting better, and that was what I needed to stay focused on. I couldn't let my mind go anywhere else. I'd worked too damn hard to get where I was to throw it all away for some woman. Especially a woman that didn't want shit from me but my cock.
When I walked into the kitchen the following morning, Lucy's eyes were red. I knew she hadn't cried that damn hard outside with Carrie's mom. She'd tried to cover it up with makeup, but it wasn't working. Every time my eyes even came close to connecting with hers, she pulled away. Then I looked over at Carrie, and she just shook her head and walked away. When I walked up next to Lucy, I felt her whole body go stiff. I didn't even have to touch her to feel it. That shit was filling the air between us. What the hell was going on, I wondered?
Carrie's mom was making breakfast, and Lucy had been helping her. She quickly announced that the food was ready before fixing herself a plate and walking out of the room. She'd taken a seat at the table next to where Carrie's mom would be, and Carrie sat on the other side of her. I sat down across from Lucy. As soon as Carrie's dad sat down, he began talking about baseball. Scott was right there with him. When they spouted off about stats and the season, I called bullshit and jumped in to argue for my team. It was more than a job to me, something
I wasn't sure Lucy got. She pissed me off when she judged my career by the money I made. It was total passion. I loved the damn game. Each time I looked up from my plate and looked at her, she was staring down at hers picking at her food. Was it about leaving Carrie, I wondered? Maybe she was worried about losing her best friend. That had to be it.
I said goodbye to Scott and Carrie's dad. When her mom hugged me, she gave me an extra squeeze. It felt pretty damn good. I wasn't close to my family and could see why Lucy and Scott liked Carrie's parents so much. They made me feel more comfortable than anyone had in a long time.
“You two be safe and take care of each other,” Carrie's mom said, as she released me from her hold.
Lucy let out a laugh and jumped up into the moving truck before I could even get there to open her door. I noticed tears in Carrie's eyes as we pulled away. The silence filling the truck as we drove was driving me crazy. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, Lucy leaned over to turn on the radio. Then she scooted as close to her door as she could. Hours passed without a word. We'd stopped to get gas and food, and she still refused to even look my way. I couldn't figure out what her deal was. Once we were back in the truck and on the turnpike, I turned the radio off.
“You know you can visit, right?” I asked. “I'll drive with you if you don't want to go alone.”
“What?” she asked.
“To see Carrie and James,” I said. “You're upset about her moving. She hadn't lived by you for that long. What did you do before she got there?”
“You wouldn't understand how much she means to me, but that's beside the point. Sure, I'm sad about her moving, but I'm planning to visit them,” she said, looking over at me like I was crazy. “I'm not worried about being alone. I was fine for years before she moved there. I'll be just fine now.”
“I thought you were upset,” I said.
Playing Hardball, Part 2 (A Baseball Romance Serial) (Playing Hardball (A Baseball Romance Serial)) Page 3