Conn rubbed a hand down the fabric of his kilt and gave her a sideways look. “Yer skill in avoiding me even when the king commanded us to spend time together bordered on insult. Rude behavior is unbecoming and disrespectful.”
Brianna bristled under his high-handed, unwelcome tutelage. “Ye follow me around, leaving me little breathing space, disregarding my wishes on matters, and still ye harp on my insolence.”
“A man needs his wife’s respect.”
Brianna shot daggers at him. “Few men deserve it. Most men I know demand their respect through loud, angry voices and brutish actions. I willnae be commanded to respect any man. He must earn it.”
Cocking his head to the side, Conn stared at her. “Would ye care to tell me how to earn such regard?”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “I willnae give ye some formula for it. It should flow freely between two people, not as a list to be checked off as a meaningless job well met.”
“Aye, it should be a mutual thing. Could I, then, tempt ye into a walk so we can discuss this further?” He set his now-empty plate aside and stood, stretching his hand to her. She stared at the proffered limb as though it might bite, and slowly raised her dubious gaze to his. His unwavering stare was perilously close to a command. She lifted her chin in defiance. Conn sighed.
“Dinnae be obstinate, Brianna. Things could go much better between us if ye just admitted ye liked me. Even a bit.”
“What on earth makes ye think I like ye?”
Conn’s arrogance showed no limits as he prodded her memory. “Ye were soft in my arms as we rode the roads, seeking yer men. Ye were pliant beneath me before we said our goodbyes beside the burn.” His smile turned teasing. “And, if memory serves, the king’s words were for us to enjoy each other’s company of the duration of our travel home. I believe he wants us to like each other.”
Her lips twitched, but she did not give in to the urge to smile. “Like each other? I distinctly remember saying I hated ye. Liking ye would be a bit of a stretch.”
“Come with me, Brianna.” He made a small motion with his hand, his voice deceptively soft. Brianna eyed him suspiciously, not trusting his intentions. Finally, seeing no way to avoid it without being accused of being disrespectful yet again, she rose from her seat, though she pointedly refused Conn’s proffered hand. Tam nosed the empty trencher once more, then curled up for a nap with a contented sigh. Brianna glanced at the tired pup before turning back to Conn.
“Well?” she demanded testily as he made a leisurely perusal of her person.
He grinned at her unrepentantly, not bothering to apologize for ogling her. Instead, he swept his arm forward, indicating she precede him down the narrow trail leading to a small glade where water bubbled cheerfully over smooth stones.
“’Tis a bit more private here. I would like to talk to ye without being interrupted or overheard.”
“If ye think I will succumb to yer charms here by the burn simply because I lost my head once before, ye are sadly mistaken.”
“Nae. Ye have adequately informed me of yer intentions. I would not take ye without ye full willing.”
“That confident, are ye, that ye will get an heir from me? Conn, even if things were better between us, I was married nearly a year and dinnae conceive a bairn. All yer bold boasts to the contrary, I think ye are daft to believe I could bear ye, or anyone else, children.”
Conn scowled. “Nae. No one else. Yer children will be mine, and no other’s.”
Brianna flung her hands into the air. “What do ye not understand? I dinnae want to wed. I dinnae believe I can bear children. Ye want to wed. Ye want children. Can ye not spare us the misery and ask to be released from this?”
“I dinnae wish to be released from the betrothal. The king has signed it himself. Ye know what ye stand to lose if ye disobey.”
Brianna fought to keep from pulling out her hair at his stubbornness. “Ye prattle of honor and duty, and what I stand to lose if I dinnae obey. But what will benefit me if I agree? Will I be allowed to stay at Wyndham, help govern it until Jamie is old enough to do so, keep my da from destroying everything? My clan and my brother mean more to me than anything, and no matter my choice, I will lose it all.”
“Ye will marry me, Brianna Douglas. An arrangement can be made for Wyndham’s government. But like it or not, we will marry at the king’s pleasure in two weeks’s time, and ye will be my wife.”
“I dinnae want a marriage to someone I dinnae trust. Our short time together is built on lies and little else.”
Conn shrugged. “I did ask yer name.”
“I was hunted by the sheriff for reiving. As a lord’s daughter, I am also a target for ransom. I had no reason to trust ye with my name.”
“Would ye trust me now?”
Brianna clenched her teeth and dropped her gaze. “I cannae.” Clutching her plaide about her against the cold, she retraced her steps to their camp.
* * *
Gavin’s frown warned the Douglas soldiers’ attention from Brianna as she marched through the campsite, head high, dark stains upon her cheeks. His gaze did not waver as Conn stepped through the group moments later, running a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner.
“She is likely bedded down with Maude.” Gavin rose and stepped toward Conn, his movement turning them away from the other men’s hearing. He jerked his head toward the horses’ picket line, ignoring Conn’s hostile glare. “She has always been partial to her horse’s company. Especially when something has upset her.”
Conn started to push past him, but Gavin stopped him with a raised hand. “’Tis how I knew where to find her the other night. ’Twas no liaison between us. I have known her since she was a wee lass. She had no one to turn to these past years since her ma died and her da became a drunkard in his sorrow. She willnae thank me for saying this, but her previous husband and her da’s behavior has left her with little need for men, and little respect for them, either.”
“She seems to respect ye well enough.” Conn’s look was sardonic, his lips pulled mockingly to the side.
“I never rode rough-shod over her wishes. I have gainsaid her when her safety was in question, but the lass has a good head on her shoulders and a soft heart if ye know how to treat her.”
Gavin glanced away, giving the moment a chance to resolve Conn’s accusation. “Go easy on her. She has been ordered about long enough. She has defended her clan by defying direct orders and tradition. After her first husband broke her heart with his brutish disregard, and his da threatened her with disgrace for not bearing an heir, she came back to Wyndham determined to raise wee Jamie and never marry again.”
Conn’s eyes glinted dangerously. “Not even ye?”
Gavin stared him down with a hard look. “Mayhap. If I asked her nicely. Ye must turn her mind and her heart. Prove to her ye are different. Let her know she isnae wanted solely as a broodmare, but as a respected wife.”
Conn scowled. “I have no desire to break her heart or her spirit. She speaks of honoring her clan. Why should she not accept this betrothal if it brings help to her people?”
“Her desire is to help Wyndham. But aligning forces with Morven meant she had to marry again. And ye have a hard reputation to overcome.”
“I spent time in France to distance myself from my best friend and the woman I thought to marry. Rumor wants to believe I drowned my sorrow beneath skirts and tavern tables. ’Tis true I spent a small portion of my time in those pursuits, but the reason I dinnae know my da died was because I spent most of my days—and nights—at horse breeding farms, choosing the right horses to bring home, and as gifts for the king.”
Gavin eyed him curiously. “Have ye told her this?”
“Would it matter? I have no proof. She already believes the rumors.”
“Good luck to ye, then, and may St. Andrew show mercy. Ye will need it.”
Chapter 13
Brianna gazed beyond the velvet night sky, over-sewn with a thousand twinkling diamonds
, absently stroking Tam’s belly as he sprawled on his back beside her, his body boneless in sleep. She wished she could enjoy such peace.
Maude nudged her, demanding equal attention. Brianna rubbed her hand over her soft muzzle, wondering at the changes in her life. ’Tis been scarcely more than a month since I sat at home, smug in my conviction I helped the people of Wyndham. Scarcely a month ago I believed I was in charge of my own destiny.
Now, the earth itself had opened at her feet and it remained to be seen if she would find her footing or fall into endless darkness. With her ma gone and her da’s actions and thoughts questionable and unpredictable at best, she had no one to trust and counsel her which way to turn.
Nae, that isnae true. Auld Willie is on my side, though he is at Wyndham with Jamie. And Gavin—what a surprise. Always he has been there, whether to tell me I couldnae ride Da’s temperamental stallion or comforting me when Ma died. I thought him a friend—what if he had been more?
She felt someone behind her, unnerved to feel Conn’s presence so distinctly. “Go away!” she whispered roughly, her voice thick with regret. Regret for the decision she knew she had to make, regret for a life that left her subject to the whim of others.
“May I sit with ye a while?”
Brianna closed her eyes. She could withstand him better if he were cloddish, arrogant, crude or a brute. Aye, these things she knew and could deal with. ’Twas true he was arrogant, but he tempered it with a gentleness slowly slipping past her defenses.
She faced him. He tilted his head in silent invitation and she shifted the puppy down a bit, allowing him to sit next to her.
“This will work, Brianna. Ye know it will.”
“How can it when ye dinnae know me?”
“I know ye well enough.”
She gave him a look of profound disgust. “Ye are basing yer whole assumption on a few misguided moments we spent together. Ye are squandering my whole life on a foolish moment of passion. When will ye decide ye need to know me?”
Conn took a deep breath and Brianna was aware he clung to a thin tissue of restraint. “Ye dinnae know me, either.”
“I know enough,” she tossed back at him.
“Ye know rumors. Not me.”
“Ye lost yer lady love to another and left yer responsibilities at Morven to drown yer sorrows.”
His eyes flashed, but his voice remained even. “The young woman’s husband had been missing over a year, assumed dead. He and I had been as brothers. I grew to love the lass, but to be truthful, I later realized I was more in love with her bairn, in love with the idea I could do something worthy for my dead friend by raising his son.” His gaze dropped and Brianna saw his hands clench, his knuckles turn white. “To atone for being alive.”
Sympathy prickled in her throat. “I am truly sorry for yer loss. And I will believe ye if ye say ye dinnae spend the past year astride any willing lass. But I am not sure how to make our marriage work when we each want different things.”
“Had I never met ye, were ye only a name scratched on the betrothal, mayhap I could let ye go. But I have seen ye, heard ye plead for yer people, and felt ye in my arms. I couldnae ask for a better woman to bring to Morven as my wife.” He gently cupped her face in his hands. “Will ye marry me, Brianna?”
She touched the side of his face with the backs of her fingers, tracing a line from his temple past his cheek, lingering on the rough stubble of a day’s growth. He turned his face into her hand, and kissed the palm. Her fingers closed over where his lips touched, holding the heat of it.
“Ask me again in two weeks.”
Conn stared deeply into her eyes, seeing her waver when her words spoke denial. He could point out she really had no choice in the matter—she already belonged to him, decreed by the king. But Gavin’s advice kept his practical words unsaid.
She reminded him of a frightened horse, proud in its hard-won freedom, unable to see dignity in submission to another. Unable to trust the hand being held out to her.
“So be it. I will ask ye again in two weeks. And ye will say aye.”
Brianna glanced quickly away and he was unable to read her expression, but he knew she was not convinced. He had won the skirmish, but had a long battle ahead of him.
“Let us return to camp.” He stood, and Brianna brushed off her skirts as she rose. Tam yawned and stretched, then padded after her. Falling into step, Conn walked slowly, hoping to extend their time alone, away from the curious gazes of the men. Out of habit, he glanced at the horses standing quietly at the picket lines, reassuring himself they had been cared for. He caressed his stallion’s velvety nose. Embarr snorted and shook his head, then shoved his muzzle into his hand, encouraging the contact.
“He likes ye.” Brianna sounded pleased as Conn stroked the horse’s long forelock.
Surprised at her statement, Conn considered her words. “Aye, I suppose he does. I only purchased him a few months ago, and I am still learning his ways.”
“He is beautiful. Is he from France?”
“Nae. I bought him in Spain. He is an Iberian horse with mixed Barb blood. Bray has several mares from a breeder there, and helped me purchase him.”
Brianna stepped past Conn and reached her hand to stroke the horse’s face. For a heart-stopping moment he hesitated, unsure of the stallion’s reaction to a new person. But the horse leaned over the picket line, his ears pricked forward in interest as he snuffled the palm of her hand.
She laughed, obviously delighted with the friendly overture, and glanced over her shoulder. “What is his name?”
He was taken aback by the vision of Brianna laughing. He’d thought her beautiful before—naked, playing in the water, or wearing a fortune in velvet, bantering with the king. He found himself utterly captivated with her now, in a plain woolen gown, smiling with delight at Embarr’s attention. Though mildly disgusted his horse garnered her pleasure while he did not, he managed to answer without sounding surly.
“His name is Embarr, after Niamh’s magical horse who could run above the ground and water.”
“‘Embarr’ is also the Irish word for ‘imagination’.” She ran her fingers down the long bone of his face and the horse gently tossed his head in response. Again, Brianna laughed, and Conn resisted the urge to twine his fingers in her hair and pull her against him. Being patient proved difficult.
They returned to camp, but Brianna was too tired to sit around the fire and listen to the men’s stories and songs. Normally she enjoyed the camaraderie, the outrageous tales and the ghost stories she’d heard all her life. But tonight she simply nodded to Gavin and the rest of the men and moved to the far side of the fire where she could have a bit of privacy. Arranging her plaide on the ground, she settled down, the low murmur of voices not enough to keep her awake. Tam curled beside her, tucked against her tummy, his furry warmth welcome.
Her plaide slipped from her shoulders, inviting cool air inside the edge of her gown. As she reached to pull the fabric back into place, another hand settled it snug about her neck, and she felt something warm slide against her back. She blinked, trying to make sense of the new heat running from her neck to her knees. An arm slipped over her and a hand cupped her breast. She stiffened with a strangled sound. Tam gave a low growl.
“Wheesht, lass, dinnae wake everyone,” Conn whispered in her ear as he snuggled against her.
“What are ye doing?” she hissed in outrage, now fully awake.
“Keeping ye warm. ’Tis one of my husbandly duties, aye?” He settled more firmly against her, spoon-fashioned.
Brianna shoved him and the confining plaide away and met cold night air. She shivered. “What do ye mean?”
“Warmth, lass. Nothing more.”
Cold mist crept into the glen, surrounding the dark embers of the banked fire. Chilled, Brianna settled back against him, and Conn pulled her plaide over her shoulders. Immediately cocooned in warmth, she closed her eyes with a sigh. Her breath turned to a gasp of surprise as she felt Conn’s ha
nds begin to wander.
“Now what are ye doing?” she demanded, batting at his hands.
He chuckled, his breath against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. “Keeping me warm. Or at least distracted.”
“Och, nae,” she shot back. “Ye willnae distract me. I am not yer wife yet, and there are men close by!”
He gently kissed the back of her neck, stirring the soft hairs there, creating a completely different type of chill down her spine. “They wouldnae hear ye if ye werenae so noisy.”
Brianna squeaked in outrage even as her body shuddered. Panic rose at the thought he would not be gainsaid. “Nae,” she insisted, her voice low, close to anger. Beside her, Tam stirred and lunged at Conn, teeth bared. Conn cursed under his breath, snatching his hand away. Tam laid his head across Brianna’s hip, eyes glittering.
“Pax, Brianna. I only tease ye. The next time I make love to ye will be in private with a soft bed beneath us. Sleep now, and call down yer wee beast. ’Twill be morning soon.”
She stilled, stroking Tam’s shoulder as he shifted back to sleep. As Conn’s breathing evened, she finally relaxed, wondering at the nature of the man who held her.
Chapter 14
Brianna woke alone. Glancing around the campsite, she rose to her feet, glad not to meet any speculative looks from the men this morning regarding the night’s sleeping arrangements. All remained busy saddling their horses and preparing for the day’s ride. Geordie’s laughter rose as he played with Tam. Climbing from her bedroll, Brianna attended her own needs, then grabbed an oatcake as she hurried to saddle Maude. Wary, she eyed Conn as he approached, leading Embarr.
He offered her a pleasant smile. “Are ye ready?”
She nodded and accepted Tam’s leash from Geordie as she climbed aboard her horse.
Conn eyed the black and white pup bouncing at the end of the lead, the light of mischief in his eyes. “Do ye think ye can train yer dog not to take bites out of me?”
The Highlander's Outlaw Bride Page 8