by Anna Sugden
“But that’s crazy.”
“Bless him, he’s a man. They always go for the quickest solution to a problem. Jake blames himself for what’s happening to you, so to put that right fast he’s removing himself from your life.”
“Instead of standing beside me and weathering the storm.”
Tracy shrugged. “I said the quickest way, not the best.”
It made a strange kind of sense. “So what do I do now?”
“You carry on with your life.” Tracy covered Maggie’s hand with hers. “The media fuss will die down. Someone else will grab the headlines. Jake’s play won’t improve because he’ll still be thinking about you and he’ll realize he hasn’t chosen the best solution after all.”
“What if he doesn’t?” The hollow feeling inside threatened to overwhelm her.
“You’ll survive. It won’t be easy and it’ll hurt like hell, but you’ve come through worse.” Tracy smiled reassuringly. “I have faith in you.”
In other words, there wasn’t a bloody thing Maggie could do but wait. And hope.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“MAN, I’M GLAD that road trip is done.”
Jake dragged his case across the airport parking lot to Tru’s SUV.
They’d been away for five days and played three grueling games, losing all of them in overtime. Tonight’s loss had been the worst, as they’d been up by two goals going into the final period. To add insult to injury, JB had been knocked out. Fearing a concussion, doctors had kept the kid in the Nashville hospital overnight.
Jake’s play hadn’t been bad enough to get scratched, but not as good as it needed to be, either. As hard as he’d tried, he hadn’t regained his focus. Maggie was his last thought at night and his first on waking. Plus, countless times in between.
There had been some tough moments on the trip, too: the woman with dark, curly hair who’d sat behind their bench in DC; the little girl in Nashville who’d called him Mr. Jake.
Cutting Maggie out of his life hadn’t helped him play better. It had made him ache to the depths of his soul. The road trip had reinforced what he’d realized the night of their fight—he might be the wrong man for Maggie, but she was the perfect woman for him.
He loved her. Missed her. Wanted to be with her. Wanted a future with her.
The knowledge that he couldn’t have any of that sliced through his heart like a blade through fresh ice.
“At least we have a couple of days before the next game.” Tru unlocked his Range Rover.
Jake tossed his case in the back. “And time for twelve hours’ shut-eye before tomorrow’s practice.”
“You gonna be okay?” Tru shot him the same concerned look he’d been giving Jake ever since he’d spilled his hungover guts about what had happened.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. But if you need...”
“Thanks.”
Tru backed off and started the engine.
Jake leaned his head back and stared out the window. He couldn’t talk about it. The pain was still too great. Besides, nothing anyone could say would help.
The rest of the journey passed in silence.
As they pulled up to Jake’s house, he saw the lights were on. Though he tried not to get his hopes up, his heart leaped.
“Good luck.” Tru jabbed his shoulder.
Jake nodded, his throat tight. He got out of the car and gathered his gear. Then he inhaled deeply and walked to the front steps.
Tru’s window rolled down. “Pick me up for practice?”
“Sure.” He kept his gaze fixed firmly ahead.
Jake pushed the door open as his friend pulled away.
“Hello, jackass.” Jenny stalked toward him. “Someone needs to set you straight.”
“Do we have to do this now?” He dropped his case. “It’s God-knows-what time, and I passed exhausted somewhere over Kentucky.”
“Too bad.”
Jake rotated his aching shoulders. “Why now? We could have spoken while I was away.”
“I know how distractions affect your game.”
Her words knocked the wind out of him.
He closed his eyes briefly. “I’m not doing this out here.”
Jenny followed him into the living room, her boots clicking on the hardwood floor.
He slumped onto a sofa. “Help yourself to a drink.”
She cuffed his head, then sat next to him. “That’s for hurting Maggie.”
“I screwed up.” Jake scrubbed his hand across his jaw. “I wish I could put this right, but I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not good enough for her.”
“Don’t make me hit you again.” Her expression softened. “None of this will make up for Adam’s death. Or bring him back.”
“I know. But it’s not fair that I lived when he didn’t. There’s a lot of truth in that saying ‘only the good die young.’”
“Adam wasn’t a saint, Jake.”
“He was a better person than me.” His voice sounded hollow. His eyes burned. “Bad Boy by name, Bad Boy by nature.”
“You’re more than a nickname.” She threw her arms up in frustration. “You’re a good friend, teammate, mentor and son. You’re honest, loyal, generous and kind.”
“I sound like a damn dog.”
“Better than the devil you think you are. What makes someone a good person is what’s inside here.” She patted her chest.
“What’s inside for damn sure isn’t good enough.”
“The hell it isn’t. Everyone who knows you believes in you. Isn’t it time you believed in yourself?”
“I don’t know if I can,” he whispered brokenly.
She hugged him and rose. “Think about this...Maggie fell for you. Not your nickname, not your reputation. She thought you were worthy of her love. I do, too. Seems like the only person you need to convince is yourself.”
Long after Jenny had left, Jake sat staring into space. He wanted desperately to believe what she’d said, but how could he? He’d let Adam down. He’d let Maggie down.
No. Better he stuck to his guns and focused on the one thing he could do right. Play hockey. Because he was damned if he’d let anyone else down.
* * *
TIME WAS NOT the great healer everyone claimed.
Rain hammered the windows, making Maggie shiver and cradle her mug of tea tightly. She sat on the sofa, snug in a thick sweater, soft jogging bottoms and fleecy socks. Emily was at Amy’s and Tracy was at a meeting, leaving Maggie alone in the too-quiet house.
The dreary afternoon reflected her feelings. It had only been a week, but she didn’t feel the slightest bit better. Each moment that passed without hearing from Jake killed what little hope she had. She told herself it was for the best. If he couldn’t believe in her, in himself, in the two of them together, then their relationship wasn’t worth anything.
That didn’t keep her from missing him.
Work had kept her busy, but as most of their projects were for the Ice Cats, it had been impossible to keep her mind off Jake. Even the new business pitch to the local NBA team had involved going to the arena they shared with the Cats. Thankfully, the hockey team was away, so she hadn’t had to worry about bumping into Jake. But the familiar loop of videos playing outside had stolen her breath. Especially the one featuring Jake.
With his ice-blue gaze fixed on her, his growled challenge, “Are you ready for me?” had struck at her core.
“The problem is,” she muttered, “you weren’t ready for me.”
She’d scanned the internet daily, pathetically eager for information about him. His stats hadn’t improved. Clearly, ending their relationship hadn’t helped his play, but would Jake recognize that?
Magg
ie sipped her cooling tea. As Tracy had predicted, the media fuss had blown over almost as quickly as it had started. Lee had gone surprisingly quiet, too. Rumors that he might be traded during the upcoming transfer window made her nervous—he didn’t respond well to uncertainty.
She bit back a yawn. Sleep had been elusive. When she’d finally succumbed, her dreams had been filled with endless replays of that conversation in Jake’s den. Each time they reached the critical moment, where she awaited his reassurance, she would jolt awake with wet cheeks and an aching heart.
The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. She let the answering machine kick in.
“Umm...hello. This is Patty. I...uh...wanted to speak to Maggie.”
Why on earth would Lee’s fiancée be calling her? As Maggie listened to the stumbling message, sympathy rose in her. Patty sounded upset, stressed.
Maggie jumped up and grabbed the receiver. “Hello.” The silence on the other end made her uneasy. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Patty released an audibly shaky breath.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m...nothing’s broken.”
She swore. “He hit you.”
“It was a misunderstanding.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Maggie said firmly. “This is how it starts. A misunderstanding, followed by a tearful apology and a promise never to do it again. Trust me, he won’t keep that promise.” Her healed arm twinged as if to emphasize the point.
“This is different. He loves me.”
Patty’s naive insistence sounded painfully familiar. “Even so, he will hit you again.”
“But he’s promised to go into an anger-management program.”
Maggie knew then she’d never convince Patty that Lee wouldn’t change. She softened her tone. “Good.”
“The team insisted. This is his last chance. I’ll work with him. We’ll find coping strategies together.”
If the club dumped Lee, Patty’s life would become hellish. “Good luck with that.”
Maggie wished she could save Patty from the pain to come but knew the younger woman would cling to her delusions until it was too late.
As if she’d read Maggie’s mind, Patty’s tone changed abruptly. “I don’t expect you to understand. If you’d supported him instead of attacking him, he wouldn’t be in this situation. And I wouldn’t have to sort out the mess you created.”
Maggie’s spine stiffened, all sympathy gone. “I presume you called me for a reason.”
“I want to offer you a deal.”
“Excuse me?” That was the last thing she’d expected.
“We both need something from each other, and I’ve figured out a way for us to get it.”
“Go on.”
“There’s a good chance Lee will be called up for the England squad next week. If he does, he’ll be back in favor with his club and that’ll ease his mind over the transfer.”
“What does that have to do with me? I can’t influence his selection.”
“Lee can’t afford any bad press while the England manager is making up his mind. He also needs to play his best game this weekend. I don’t want him to have any distractions.”
Not another bloody athlete with distraction problems.
“I still don’t see how that affects me.”
“The custody battle is winding him up.”
Maggie gritted her teeth. “I won’t give him full custody.”
“I’m not asking you to. I want Lee to drop his challenge and give you permission to stay in America permanently.”
Shock made Maggie’s knees unsteady. She sank back onto the sofa. “But you were the one pushing for happy families.”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“Why?” Maggie couldn’t believe it.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh.” Unsure how to respond, she said simply, “Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” Patty’s tone was smug. “Everything’s coming together perfectly.”
Maggie winced. She hoped the other woman wouldn’t be forced to eat her words. “What do you get out of this deal?”
“Lee doesn’t see Emily again.”
How Maggie wanted that. “But, by law, he’ll have to keep his visitation rights.”
“I think, between us, we can make sure he doesn’t use them.”
Maggie didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but it sounded too good to be true.
“One more thing.” Patty paused. “Once Lee’s child support ends, Emily has no further financial claim on him. I want my children to be his sole inheritors.”
Guaranteeing Emily’s custody was worth more than every penny of Lee’s money. “You have a deal.”
“Great. This is a time-sensitive offer. The paperwork must be completed and signed by close of play Thursday, so Lee can focus on his game on Saturday.”
Maggie had two days. “You’re sure you can get Lee to agree to the terms?”
“He’s really sorry about what he did and is desperate to make up for it. Plus, he’ll be thrilled about our baby. He’ll agree to whatever I ask. I’ve had our lawyer prepare the necessary documents, so they can be sent straight over to your solicitor.”
“I’ll fly to England tomorrow.”
Tracy walked in as Maggie hung up. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m afraid to say yes, in case I jinx it.” She filled her sister in on Patty’s call. “It seems too easy.”
“Most people wouldn’t call giving up Emily’s rights to Lee’s millions easy.”
“She’ll have enough in her trust to go to university or do whatever she wants.”
“Then everything’s fine.” Tracy grinned.
Maggie sighed. “I won’t relax until it’s all signed, sealed and delivered.”
“I don’t blame you. Still, if this comes off, your problems are solved and you can focus on getting that residency.”
When Maggie didn’t respond, Tracy looked concerned. “You haven’t changed your mind because of the situation with Jake?”
Maggie shook her head. “There’s nothing for me back home. What’s more, I won’t let my mistake with Jake dictate my life. The best thing for me and Emily is to build on what we have here.”
“I’ll let the comment about your ‘mistake’ slide because we have more important things to sort out.” Tracy arched an eyebrow pointedly. “Like a flight to England.”
“Can you check what’s available with the airlines while I talk to my solicitor?”
“Sure.”
As Maggie ran upstairs to the office, she allowed a touch of excitement to seep into her body. Patty’s deal would secure Emily’s future.
It might help Maggie with Jake, too. Once the custody issue had been dealt with, he couldn’t use that excuse for why he shouldn’t be in her life.
But would it be enough to convince him they should be together?
* * *
“HIT THE SHOWERS, everyone.” Max’s voice rang out around the rink.
Jake headed off the ice with his teammates. Practice was better today—his rhythm was finally returning, but damn it was slow. At least he wasn’t passing like a rookie anymore.
Max stopped him outside the locker room. “When you’re done, I need to see you in my office, Bad Boy.”
“Sure. What’s up?”
The coach shook his head, his expression grim.
Baffled by Max’s behavior, Jake showered and changed, then headed down the corridor. His heart gave a heavy thud when he saw who else was in the coach’s office. Phillip Hannah, the Cats’ general manager, sat behind the desk, while the medic and head trainer leaned against the filing cabinets. They all looked somber.
This was bad. Real bad.
&nb
sp; Two men in dark suits entered behind him. One was tall and thin, with fair hair. The other was stocky and bald. The hard look they gave him as they closed the door was unsettling.
He nodded at them.
No reaction. Not a twitch. What was their problem?
“Have a seat, Bad Boy.” The GM’s usual friendliness was missing.
Tension tightened Jake’s shoulders. He sat.
“These gentlemen are from the district attorney’s office. They’re investigating a serious allegation that’s been made against you.”
“What kind of allegation?”
The bald suit spoke. “We have information that leads us to believe you purchased illegal performance-enhancing drugs.”
The tension whooshed out of him. “If you’d seen me play recently, you’d know I don’t take steroids.” Their faces didn’t crack. Jake frowned. “I’m clean. The tests will prove that.”
“They do.” The team medic looked apologetic. “We’ve taken additional random samples since this surfaced.”
His stomach rolled. How long had he been under suspicion? “What evidence do you have on me?”
“Proof that you purchased drugs from an internet pharmacy.” The tall suit looked smug.
“That’s crap.” He clenched his fists. “Someone’s lying.”
“The pharmacy recorded their transactions,” the man said coolly. “All drugs supplied were logged, dates and quantities as well as credit-card details. You’re on their list.”
This couldn’t be happening. “Impossible. I’ve never, ever juiced up.” He looked desperately to his coach and the other staff. “You guys know me better than that.”
Max nodded. “The Ice Cats stand behind you one hundred percent.”
Before Jake could breathe a sigh of relief, Phillip said, “Unfortunately, until this is cleared up, we have to follow League rules and keep you off the ice.”
“I’m suspended?” Jake’s voice came out scratchy and raw.
“Your hearing is tomorrow afternoon, at 4:00 p.m. at NHL headquarters.” The bald suit’s lip curled. “Bring a lawyer.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“I CAN’T BELIEVE it’s really happening.”
Maggie slipped her passport into her handbag, then sat at the kitchen table. “The custody papers have been approved by both solicitors.”