Wendy wouldn’t have liked having him hover around her; that would have caused uncomfortable questions. But she couldn’t put him out of her mind, either, and when Tessa began to quiz her about the kind of clothes favored by the professional women of Phoenix, Wendy had the uncomfortable feeling that some of her answers didn’t quite make sense. Finally she excused herself and went to her room, to sit in the dark on the window seat which overlooked the front of the house and think about the future.
By midnight, she had concluded that the only sensible answer for Rory’s sake was to accept Mack’s plan, and she went to bed and fell into the deepest, most dreamless sleep she could remember in months.
But she didn’t sleep long, and when she woke in the dim cold darkness of early morning, she was having second thoughts. It was all very well to be logical, but they were dealing with human lives here, and sometimes logic wasn’t good enough.
She could accept the end of her own dream of being swept wildly off her feet by the man she loved, of marrying him and living happily ever after. Since she didn’t have a real person in mind to fill the role, the whole idea of falling in love was academic anyway.
But what about Mack? There was no shortage of women in his life, so it was easy to conclude that no single one was special. But what if that was wrong? What if one of those women was important to him – meant more to him, perhaps, than even he realized?
Wendy knew so little about him, really. Hunches and intuitions and feelings were no foundation when lifetime choices were involved.
Early on Christmas morning, she slipped into the nursery, before Rory began to stir, and stood beside the crib watching the baby sleep.
She couldn’t accept this proposal. And yet, if she turned down Mack’s offer, what was she to do? Go back to Phoenix, alone, she supposed. Job-hunt and pick up her life again, and hope to see Rory now and then – if Mack allowed it, and if she could afford the trip.
But just what would that accomplish, besides feeding her own selfishness? A week or two in Rory’s life, at intervals of a year or more, would probably do nothing more than confuse the child. She wouldn’t be surprised if Mack refused to stand for it at all, especially if he married. And she supposed he soon would; Wendy might be his first choice, but he’d sounded quite firm about creating a two-parent family for Rory.
She suspected, too, that there was no shortage of women who would be interested in a proposal from Mack Burgess, whether it included a ready-made family or not. She only hoped he would be careful to choose one who could love that precious little girl.
But it wouldn’t be Wendy’s business any more. If she returned to Phoenix, she was turning her back on the possibility of having any meaningful relationship with Rory – ever.
She could stay in Chicago, of course, even without accepting Mack’s offer. There was nothing to take her back to Arizona; Mack himself had pointed that out. She could get a job, perhaps more easily in a new location than in the glutted market she had left in Phoenix. Her training and her experience were top-notch. And then she could see Rory regularly – every week, perhaps – even if Mack married. And maybe he wouldn’t, if Wendy was nearby to fill in and help out.
But was that good enough? Rory would need an anchor, someone who was steady and always there for her.
Always there.
The baby stirred a little and started making soft smacking sounds as if she was dreaming of a bottle. Then she opened her eyes, wide and blue and eager for a new day. She saw Wendy and gave a little crow of excitement.
“Happy Christmas, darling,” Wendy whispered. “Mama’s here.”
*****
Christmas morning in the Burgess household was surprisingly informal. Mitch lounged on the carpet half-under the tree, still wearing his terry bathrobe and the brightest green pajamas Wendy had ever seen. Tessa came downstairs in a voluminous dressing gown, embroidered and trimmed in eyelet lace. And even though Elinor was dressed in gold satin hostess pajamas, even she was less formal than usual.
Wendy spread Rory’s blanket in the middle of the floor and put the baby down with her bottle. Rory twisted around till she could see the tree and stared meditatively at the ever-shifting pattern of lights.
Mack appeared a few minutes later, in corduroy trousers and a ski sweater which emphasized the breadth of his shoulders. Wendy’s heart started to beat faster the instant she saw him, knowing that soon she must give him her answer. Not here, of course, in the midst of the family. But soon.
He looked well-rested. Of course he had no reason not to be. He’d done his thinking and made up his mind, so there was nothing remaining to disturb his sleep. He was carrying a coffee cup, and when Wendy looked at it longingly he held it out to her.
“It’s black,” he warned.
She shook her head.
Mack laughed. “Then you’re not as desperate as you’d like me to think, are you? Oh, go and get yourself a cup – there’s a fresh pot in the breakfast room. I’ll take over the bottle-holding detail.” He dropped to the blanket beside Rory, who grinned at him and let milk dribble out of the corners of her mouth.
His hand closed gently over Wendy’s on the warm bottle, the brush of his fingers against hers startlingly intimate. The gesture sent a ripple of electricity through Wendy’s body, and it took effort not to pull away as if she’d been shocked. Instead, she let her hand slide slowly out from under his.
She stole a look at him and was relieved to see that he was watching Rory, smiling and cooing at her while paying no attention at all to Wendy. That was good; he hadn’t noticed her reaction. How perfectly embarrassing it would be if she jumped like that every time he touched her!
She rose, and almost didn’t notice the way his gaze followed her. She was watching Elinor, who was sitting very straight in her chair by the fireplace, closely observing the three of them. “There’s something about a baby at this season...” the woman mused.
Then a shadow crossed her face; obviously she was remembering the one family member who wasn’t there, and she turned her chair a little and reached for Samuel’s hand. He held her fingers lightly in his palm and said, “We owe Wendy a great deal, Elinor, for bringing us the most precious gift of Christmas.”
Elinor nodded, and in that instant her iron control asserted itself once more. But Wendy had seen the momentary glitter of tears in her eyes, and she could also see the question which lurked in Elinor’s mind. She almost made the announcement right then, just to end Elinor’s uncertainty – but she couldn’t bring herself to blurt it out in public that way, in front of all of them at once. No, she’d have to talk to Mack alone first.
But it seemed there was to be no chance at all for that.
The piles of packages were sorted out and opened, one at a time. A good many of them were for Rory, and the blanket soon disappeared under a layer of clothes and toys. The baby, however, seemed to prefer the glitter of wrapping paper and ribbon; twice Wendy had to push the pile of paper away so Rory couldn’t chew it up.
A surprising number of gifts appeared for Wendy herself. Mitch presented her with a gigantic guidebook on the Chicago area. “The guy at the bookstore said it was the best one,” he said, with a grin. “But I don’t know – seems to me you’ll need a big hulking bodyguard just to carry it around.”
“If you’re volunteering,” Mack suggested, “perhaps you should start pumping iron right now.”
There was a necklace from Elinor and Samuel – a small but fiery opal on a delicate gold chain, more expensive than any other jewelry Wendy had ever owned – and probably, in Elinor’s eyes, a very moderate gift indeed.
The last box she opened was from Mack. She had left it deliberately to the end, though she expected from the appearance of the package that the gift was something ordinary – probably nice, considering Mack’s taste, but nothing which would startle the onlookers. After all, one didn’t wrap an engagement ring to look like a boot box unless the intention was to tease the recipient, and that wasn’t the case here
. He probably hadn’t considered such a gift anyway; theirs was hardly the sort of arrangement which called for a ring.
Still, Wendy was relieved when she folded back the crisp tissue paper to reveal a supple brown leather handbag. A perfect gift, she thought. Nice, tasteful, thoughtful, and – like the opal necklace – not so intimate or elaborate as to cause questions.
When she looked up to thank Mack, however, she thought she caught a flicker of disappointment in Tessa’s eyes. But the expression was gone so quickly she couldn’t be certain.
“You’d better check all the pockets,” Tessa said with a smile. “That designer puts in dozens of little dividers, and you never know what Mack might have tucked in.” She picked up the bag and frowned at the plain gold clasp. “You didn’t even have it monogrammed, Mack.”
“No time, I’m afraid,” Mack said easily. “Wendy can take it in at her leisure.”
After I decide what initials to put on it, Wendy thought. She noticed that Elinor was trying to hide a smile.
Rory got hold of the high-tech teddy bear which John and Tessa had given her and accidentally poked its control buttons. The teddy began to talk, which scared her, and she started to wail.
At least the screaming took Tessa’s attention off the handbag.
Breakfast was a buffet affair, with someone jumping up every third minute to get another roll or piece of bacon, and drifting from one room to another with plates and sometimes gifts in hand. Wendy stayed in the breakfast room where it was a little quieter and mashed a banana for Rory’s breakfast. With all the excitement, however, by the time the baby finished eating she had smeared fruit from hair to toes, and she needed a bath and a full change of clothes.
When Wendy came downstairs again with Rory once more clean and neat, the house was quiet. Mitch was in the drawing room, starting to lay out the pieces of a three-dimensional wooden jigsaw puzzle on a card table. Rory stared at the intriguing shapes, her eyes wide.
“Don’t get ideas about my puzzle,” Mitch growled at her. “It’s the only toy Santa left for me this morning. You got zillions.”
Rory giggled, till he handed her the high-tech teddy bear. Then she buried her face in Wendy’s shoulder and refused to look.
Mitch tossed the bear behind the nearest chair and picked up the new woolly lamb which Wendy had brought with her, already wrapped, from Phoenix. He stroked the soft fur against Rory’s cheek, and soon she was laughing at him again.
That toy had looked awfully simple against the piles of loot this morning, Wendy thought, but her judgment had been confirmed after all. The knowledge soothed her heart. “Where is everybody?” she asked.
Mitch grinned. “You mean Mack?”
Wendy tried not to turn pink, but it was a lost cause. And it was true she was looking for Mack, even if not quite for the reasons Mitch had in mind. “You can start with him, if you like.”
“He went down to the gym.”
“On Christmas?” Wendy’s voice was little more than a squeak. What kind of health club would be open on the holiday? “Did he say when he’ll be back?”
Mitch had turned back to his puzzle. “Whenever he gets tired, I suppose. Why don’t you go ask him? It’s just downstairs.”
Wendy didn’t know why that announcement should have surprised her. Nothing else about this house was quite like usual, so why shouldn’t it have a built-in gymnasium in the cellar as well?
It wasn’t really a cellar, though; it had a swimming pool, too, which looked out through a glass wall over a rock garden at the back of the house. The gym was a more exclusive and better-equipped exercise room than some of the health clubs she’d seen. There was a weight-lifting bench, a pair of stationary bikes, a cross-country ski machine, and a whole lot of other equipment she’d never seen the like of before and had no idea how to use.
Mack was using the rowing machine. His tanned shoulders were damp with perspiration, and his muscles flexed admirably as he pulled at the oars. His knees were bare too; Wendy wondered for one fleeting moment if he was wearing anything at all. Then she caught a glimpse of red exercise shorts and relaxed.
When he saw her, his stroke slowed to an easy halt and he stood up and reached for a towel. “I can tell by the twin wide-eyed stares that I look pretty silly,” he said.
Silly wasn’t the word Wendy would have chosen. His shorts were brief all right, but no more so than some swimsuits she’d seen, and his body was a whole lot better than most on the beach, with a trim waistline, lean hips, and just the right sprinkling of hair on his chest.... Was it warmer down here than in the rest of the house, or was it just her imagination? “I thought you’d disappeared.”
“Sorry to make you come looking for me. I expected to be done by the time Rory’s bath was finished. Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?”
“I think we need to really talk.”
One eyebrow lifted just a little. “In that case, if you don’t mind, let’s stay here. We’re less likely to be interrupted.”
She looked around the room. “Are you the only one who uses this?”
“We all do, now and then. It was installed for Mother when her arthritis was first diagnosed, but in the last few years the doctors have discouraged her from anything but very gentle exercise, so she doesn’t spend much time here.” He pulled on a sweatshirt, then mopped his face with his towel and slung it around his neck.
Rory babbled something nonsensical, dropped her stuffed lamb, and held out her arms to Mack, who took her. “How much does she weigh?” he asked.
“About fifteen pounds.”
“Ah, just right, and much more fun than lifting barbells.” He lay down on the weight-lifting bench and gently raised Rory till she was suspended at arms’ length, then lowered her to his chest again. She giggled at him, intrigued with this new game.
“I know this is sudden, Wendy.” Mack wasn’t looking at her. “I didn’t intend to push it so soon, and I have no intention of rushing you into a decision. But I know how much it’s bothered you not to have Rory’s future settled. It’s bothered me too. So here we are with a choice to make.”
Wendy cleared her throat. “It’s a big one.” Funny; that wasn’t what she’d intended to say.
“Yes, it is.” Mack sat up and drew one foot up on the bench, perching Rory on his knee. “I’m not asking for a commitment for just a few months, or even a few years.”
“This is forever.” Despite her best efforts, Wendy’s voice trembled.
“Well – that might be just a bit excessive.” He sounded as if he was trying to be reassuring.
Wendy hadn’t considered it before, but even though the prospect seemed light-years away just now, Rory would grow up. One day she would be a teenager, a college student, and then a young woman on her own, with a job and perhaps eventually a family. Somewhere during those years, it would no longer matter if the people who raised her were still any kind of partners at all. “Yes, of course.”
“But you’re right that it’s very serious,” Mack went on. His voice was level. “It would be far too hard on Rory if in a few years either of us decided we couldn’t make a go of it. So if you have any doubts, Wendy, now’s the time to explore them.”
“Doubts?” She took a deep breath. “All right. What about my career, Mack?”
“You won’t need to work.”
“But what if I want to? Not right away, I mean, but later. Just now it’s like a dream come true not to be pulled in two directions – but once Rory’s in school, I’ll have a lot of time on my hands.”
He flicked a glance at her. There was something in his eyes which Wendy couldn’t quite identify – it wasn’t resentment, or anger, or irritation. Was it curiosity, perhaps?
“I like my work, Mack. I’ve never intended to give it up, no matter what else my life held.”
“If you want to work later, that’s fine with me. I don’t have any fear of Rory being left out or neglected, no matter what you choose to do with your time.” He didn’t look at her.
“If you’re worried about money…”
“I wasn’t, particularly.”
“I intend a full partnership there, too. What’s mine is yours and all that stuff.”
Wendy was startled. Of course, Mack would expect her appearance to reflect favorably on him; she had anticipated that he would give her some sort of allowance to take care of her personal needs, and perhaps to run the household. But she hadn’t expected more than that. “That’s... very generous.”
“Anything else?”
She considered, and shook her head.
“You realize that part of the promise I’m asking you to make is for complete loyalty.”
Wendy looked at him for a long moment. “No messing around with men, you mean? Faithfulness?”
“If you want to call it that.”
Her face colored a little. The concept of fidelity implied that there was a sexual relationship to be faithful to, and Mack was making it clear that was hardly the case here. Still, that was exactly what he was asking for, even if the request was not for his own sake but for Rory’s. If Wendy had a flaming affair – or for that matter even a discreet one – the child would be affected.
She told herself it was unfair to be annoyed with him for asking. Hadn’t she herself wondered about the women in Mack’s life? But her voice was tart, anyway. “Why don’t you come straight out with it, Mack? You’re wondering if I’m likely to get besotted with someone I meet in…” She groped for the most ridiculous thing she could think of. “…the frozen foods aisle at the supermarket, and run off to Rio with him.”
He was definitely smiling now. “Frozen food wasn’t exactly the locale I’d considered.”
Wendy wasn’t amused. “If I do this, then be assured I will not be looking around for someone to entertain me. And Rory is far too important for me to take chances with. I’m not about to throw her to the wolves for the sake of some fling.”
“You’re very innocent, Wendy. What if you fall in love?”
“I’ll be too busy.” She looked down at the stuffed lamb she was still holding, and began to run her fingers through the already-tangled fur. Finally, very tentatively, she added, “I could ask you the same thing, Mack.”
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