“Make that two. Sunny said you liked good wine.”
“Sometimes.”
Birch stared at his dinner companion. She wasn’t beautiful, but she was attractive in a wholesome way. Sunny had said she wore glasses from time to time. He wondered if they were wire-rimmed or shell-framed. It would be a shame to hide her eyes, which were the same color as the bluebells Chue raised in the greenhouse. He said so. She smiled. He thought he’d never seen a nicer smile. It crinkled around her mouth and up to the corners of her eyes. She made a self-conscious face and laughed, a sweet sound of mirth.
“So what do you think?”
“About what?”
“You were studying me as though you were committing me to memory. Tell me what you see. You also didn’t answer my question about what it was like to grow up with a real family.”
“It was pretty wonderful. We lived on an incredible mountain. Mom’s the greatest. Dad left a lot to be desired during that time. We hung out together. I guess that’s why we’re still so close. When my grandmother was alive she’d tell us stories about what it was like back in the old days when Vegas was just a dust ball. It was the best of all times. No worries, no one was jealous of anyone else. I think Sage and I spent our entire youth trying to figure a way to best Sunny. I would have been happy to beat her at marbles. That’s pretty much it. I’m a people person. I used to watch the customers at the casino sixteen hours a day. Sometimes I’d make up these little scenarios, but I never knew if I was on the money or not. I’d say you’re a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person. You know your business. You like what you do. You’re probably grossly underpaid and yet you can’t see yourself doing anything but what you’re doing. That makes you a dedicated person who has ideals and principles.”
“Sunny talks too much.”
Birch leaned across the table. “Sunny didn’t tell me anything where you’re concerned. She said she liked you and that you were a good therapist. That’s all. I would have figured it out on my own because you have to be damn good to work at any of our centers. Your turn.”
Libby leaned into the table, the yellow glow from the candles highlighting her hair, bringing out its rich copper color. A small parade of freckles marched across the bridge of her nose. “I see an unhappy man. I read an article once by some psychologist who said a person’s eyes are the mirrors of his soul. I think I believe that. You don’t smile much, do you? Tell me something. What would it take to make you happy?”
Birch sipped at his beer. “Right now I can’t answer that. Not too long ago I thought I knew the answer. Man, was I wrong. I need to fall back and more or less regroup. I guess you could say I’m in my search mode. What would it take to make you happy?”
“I’m quite happy now. I know there is more out there. When it’s my turn, it will happen. Having a husband who loves me and whom I love, kids, pets, a small house with a real fireplace. I’d like to see my husband mow the lawn and grumble when the dog pees on the carpet. I don’t want a husband who someday might break my heart. My game plan calls for one marriage, one husband. My biological clock is ticking, and I can hear it. If it doesn’t happen, I’ll adopt a child and find a way to buy my own little house. My life won’t depend on a man, but I would like to have one included in my life. Don’t get the idea I’m one of those women’s libbers because I’m not.”
“My next question was going to be, why haven’t you married?”
“I got close a couple of times. When it was down to the wire, I realized they didn’t want the same things I did. At one point I bought a wedding gown on time payments. It’s still in the box. I paid it off, too.”
Birch laughed. “Look at it this way, if someone sweeps you off your feet, you’re prepared. How about another beer?”
“Okay. I’m going to have the all-you-can-eat crab legs with a loaded baked potato, blue cheese on my salad, garlic bread with a side order of shrimp.”
“I’ll have the same thing.”
Libby shivered inside her heavy sweater. “I like your sweater with all those reindeer prancing about,” Birch said “It’s unusual.”
“That’s because I made it. I ski when I can. Do you ski?”
“Oh yeah. Maybe we can find a place and do it some Sunday. I haven’t skied for a long time. Sage does it every winter. Iris skis, too. They’re teaching the kids. They do everything together as a family. I like that.”
“I love Iris. She’s so normal. I don’t think I know anyone, and I know a lot of people, who could have stepped in and adopted kids and loved them like they’re her own. You have a very nice family. At first Sunny used to break my heart when she’d talk about her family. She’s okay with it now, though. Working for your uncles is the best thing you could have done for her. Harry too. He loves your sister so much. It’s so good to watch the two of them as they help each other make up for their shortcomings. All we’re doing is talking about me. Tell me about you. Come on now, share, what would it take to make you really happy?”
“Okay, but this is off the top of my head. To feel at peace. To wake up next to someone I knew would be waiting for me at the end of the day.”
“Like someone who would make you stay in bed when you have a cold, someone who would bring you chicken soup and who would keep the kids quiet and the dog off the bed?”
“Yeah, yeah. Exactly.” Birch felt like she’d just given him the answer to life’s problems. “How did you know?”
“Sunny told me. She said you just didn’t know it yet. She loves you very much. You shouldn’t be so tormented where Sunny is concerned. She picks up on it.”
“I feel like I let her down. I should have been here for her, but it was at a time in my life where I was having trouble helping myself. I regret it now. God, it’s great having her here. Sunny could always run circles, physically and mentally, around Sage and me. Things are so limited for her now. Is she truly contented?”
“Look at me, Birch. We are on a first-name basis, right?” Birch nodded and grinned. “Sunny is happy. Sunny is contented. She deals with everything right up front. Now, if things change somewhere along the way, I don’t know what she’ll do. I tend to think she’ll deal with it then in her own forthright way. Every day I try subtly to reinforce that in some way. Someday I might leave, and Sunny would have to deal with that loss.”
“You wouldn’t do that, would you?”
“I might. It isn’t the best-paying job in the world. I’m also on call, so I can’t moonlight. I don’t want to get burned out. My white knight might appear. Sunny and I have discussed all of this. She’s okay with it; so is Harry. Would you look at the size of those platters? Do you think we can eat all of this?”
Birch stared first at Libby and then at the seafood platters. She might leave. At some point in time. For a single second he thought his heart stopped beating.
“What’s wrong?”
“This is weird. I started to miss you.”
Crab leg in one hand, crab cracker in the other, Libby stared into Birch’s eyes. She didn’t mean to say the words. They just tumbled out. “Then I won’t go.” She looked away to cover her confusion. “I did say that, didn’t I?”
“Uh-huh. I feel a lot better now.”
“I feel kind of foolish,” Libby said.
“Is something happening here?” Birch asked softly.
“I’m not sure,” Libby said.
“We should probably eat this mountain of food in front of us.”
Libby nodded.
“Who named you Libertine?”
“Sunny. It’s a joke. My name is Liberty. I named myself when I was seven years old. Someone just . . . dumped me off in a basket at the front door. Liberty seemed appropriate at the time.” She cracked one of the crab legs. Juice spurted across the table and onto Birch’s face. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.” A second later she was on her feet, leaning across the table, wiping Birch’s face with her napkin.
Birch’s heart thundered in his chest. He could smell the sweet soap and
water scent of her, smelled the ocean in her hair and the fish on her fingers. He wondered if Libby could hear his heart beating. He reached for her hand. “It’s okay. Really, it’s okay.” Flustered, Libby sat down and stared at her plate.
“You’re married,” Libby said bluntly.
“Yes,” Birch responded just as bluntly.
“These crab legs are probably the best I’ve ever eaten,” Libby said.
“I’d say so,” Birch said.
“Neither one of us has tasted them yet,” Libby said.
“I know. I’m assuming they’re good.”
“Oh,” Libby said.
“Would you like to walk on the beach? It’s cold but we’re both dressed for it.”
Libby had her jacket on before Birch finished speaking.
Birch laid some bills on the table. He followed Libby from the restaurant.
Halfway down the beach Birch said, “Sunny told me you were my destiny. Are you?” His voice was so hoarse and gruff-sounding, Libby shivered as his words were carried away on the wind.
“You’re married.”
“I know. You didn’t answer my question.”
“Yes. And we can do nothing about it.”
“I know,” Birch said. He reached for her hand. She clasped it tightly in her own.
“It’s getting late. We should be getting back.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No, but it’s what we’re going to do. Until you can tell me your middle name is Liberty, the way mine is, it’s the way it has to be. Liberty means free, did you know that? I don’t think I could live here year-round. I miss Nevada and the desert.”
They were back on safe ground. “You adjust. I didn’t think I would ever get used to living in a Third World country, but I did. Race you to the pier!
“You beat me!” Birch growled, startled at Libby’s athletic ability.
Panting, Libby said, “Sunny said you were a fast starter and played out quickly. She said the secret to beating you was to take it slow and steady. The sand was a hindrance, and you’re wearing those cloppy work boots. I’ll give you another chance to beat me someday.”
Someday.
“Oh, Ruby, I’m so glad you came. I need to talk to you,” Iris said as she fell into Ruby’s outstretched arms.
“Iris, nothing is so bad that it can’t be fixed. Honey, all you have are suspicions. You need to talk to Sage. Why are you being so stubborn?”
“Ruby, Sage came home last night smelling of perfume. It’s the same kind my mother-in-law uses. Sage hasn’t seen his mother. Why would my husband smell like perfume? Give me one reason. Just one, Ruby. He’s not coming home tonight. He called earlier. Do you know what I did an hour ago, Ruby? I called Celia. Just to chat. She was very pleasant on the phone. My blood ran cold. I managed to work my way around to perfume and what do you know, she said she bought a bottle of the same stuff. I can’t pronounce it, and neither could she. She knew exactly what I was talking about, though. She even described the damn bottle.”
“What if you’re wrong, Iris?”
Iris burst into tears. “That’s why I can’t say anything to Sage until I’m one hundred percent certain. He knows something’s wrong. I’m having a hard time pretending. I’m blaming everything on this pregnancy. I’m buying emotional time, Ruby, because I don’t know what else to do. If I’m wrong, I don’t want Sage ever to know I doubted him.”
“Oh, honey, honesty is always best. I’ve seen a lot of bums in my day, but your husband isn’t one. All you have to do is look at that sweet guy to know he’d never do anything like that.”
“Sage is his father’s son. I can’t discount that either. There is such a pile of incriminating evidence. The perfume was the clincher. He isn’t coming home tonight. It isn’t as though he works at a job that would keep him in overtime, much less double overtime. Be honest, Ruby, this whole thing is suspect. If there was a problem, Sage would have confided in me. He always likes two minds that come to the same conclusion.”
“You could go to town. Or, we, as in you and me, could go to town and do some spying on our own. Two sets of eyes are better than one. It has to be your decision, Iris.”
Iris started to whimper. “What if . . . what if we . . . find out something that’s conclusive? If that happens, I have to make a decision. I could never stay with a man who cheated on me. Where am I going to go with the kids? I can’t get a job now because I’m pregnant. I want to be with my babies when they’re born. I could never go off and leave them with a sitter. I’m between a rock and a hard place.”
“So what you’re saying is you want to stay here and be miserable and believe the worst rather than deal with it?”
“It sounds terrible when you say it like that, Ruby.”
“How else can I say it, Iris? Why don’t we talk to Fanny?”
“Fanny has more on her plate than she can handle right now. Something’s going on with Jeff Lassiter. I heard Sage on the phone with Birch. Whatever that is, it involves Fanny. I don’t need to add to her problems.”
“Then why don’t I go to town and do some spying on my own. I’ll do anything not to deal with those chickens. If I leave now, I can be in town by ten-thirty. Things just start to heat up around that time.”
“If you find out anything, will you tell me the truth?”
“Of course I’ll tell you the truth.”
“Even if it’s bad?”
“Even if it’s bad. I’m going to stop by the medical center. Things always seem really bad at night when you’re waiting for word the way Fanny is. Do you happen to know if anyone called Billie Kingsley or Bess?”
“I don’t know. I think Fanny would have called them. Those three women are like the Three Musketeers. When one is in pain or trouble, they appear. It’s the way it is. I want you to know, Ruby, I would have gone down, but Sage forbade it. I’m sorry to say I listened to him. Some days I think I don’t have a mind of my own anymore. Will you tell that to Fanny for me?”
“I’ll tell her, Iris. Now, tell me exactly what you want me to do?”
“I want you to find out who’s in Room 719. Check out Jeff Lassiter. Try to find out where Sage is. He said he might stay with Billie or take a room at Babylon. This is Celia’s address and phone number. Check her out, too. Find out about that perfume. If you’re going to see Fanny, ask her for the name of it. She only uses one kind, and she knows the French pronunciation. I’ll wait up for your call. I appreciate this, Ruby.”
“I know you do, honey. Don’t be surprised if I come up dry.”
“I have a feeling, Ruby, in the deepest part of my gut, that you’re going to need a heavy-duty raincoat.”
Ruby wrapped Iris in her arms. “My mother, who might have been many things to many people, was the wisest and best mother in the world. She always told me no matter how dark the tunnel was, there was always a light at the end. If you weren’t pregnant, you’d be viewing this whole situation differently. I want you to go to bed, and I want you to sleep. Those dark circles under your eyes are not becoming. I’m going to go back to the ranch to change my clothes after I stop to see Fanny. I prefer to look a little flashy opposed to this schoolmarm look I’m sporting. I’ll call you first thing in the morning.”
“Thanks for coming to the mountain, Ruby. Thanks for everything.”
In the car with the engine running, Ruby stretched her neck to look into the rearview mirror. “Ruby, you are a fool for getting involved in other people’s lives. It sure beats watching the chickens roost,” she answered herself.
8
Fanny leaned her head back on the chair rest. She made a mental note to write a letter to the board of trustees asking for new comfortable chairs in the waiting room. On second thought, instead of asking, she’d demand they order new chairs. She wondered what the theory was behind the chair she was sitting in. Did the purchasing agent deliberately set out to order these miserable chairs in the hopes people would go home instead of staying here for all hours
? Or, was he taken advantage of because of the Thornton name? She looked around at the shabby furnishings. The center hadn’t looked like this when John Noble was in charge. The two sofas were worn, the armrests frayed the way the edges of the cushions were. The artificial rubber plants were dusty, the artificial Spanish moss trailed limply down the sides of the lopsided wicker baskets. Nothing in the room matched the pictures on the walls whose frames were a mix of metal and wood. The pictures were ordinary splashes of dull, annoying color. The carpet, whose color defied description, had worn paths that crisscrossed. Probably because families paced their way around the room the way she’d been doing for the past five days. Or was it six days? Maybe it was seven. Just this afternoon she’d counted the wet towels in her bathroom at home. Was it six or seven? She couldn’t remember.
They wanted her to go home. They kept offering to drive her home. They. The staff nurses, the doctors that were taking care of Marcus. As if she cared what they thought. She poured coffee from a thermos she’d brought from home. They didn’t like that either. They offered her coffee every fifteen minutes. Coffee that looked like colored brown water and tasted like colored brown water.
Maybe she should go home and mow the grass. Fanny’s brow furrowed. Did Chue mow the grass yesterday before he came down to visit Marcus? He’d said he was taking the dogs to Sunrise since she spent so much time at the center. He’d brought her rice cakes. Did she eat them? Did she eat at all yesterday? She couldn’t remember.
Pull the plug. Nobody was saying the words aloud, but it was what they wanted her to do. Pull the plug. Couldn’t they come up with a better way of phrasing such a horrible thing? You pulled the plugs on lamps, refrigerators, and televisions when there was an electrical storm. Couldn’t they say disconnect, turn off the current? No, they whispered among themselves as they covertly looked at her from their two-way windows, mouthing the hateful words. They weren’t God. Nobody had the right to take her husband’s life. Nobody.
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