by Smith, A. T
My life, as I have known it, is changing.
My friend and brother is dead, shot and killed by someone.
My wife hates me and blames me.
I feel a hole inside of myself I’m not quite sure will ever fill or fix.
Slowly, but surely, every part of my life and existence is seizing up and soon will fail to work at all.
Chapter Thirty-Four Abigail
I can't breathe, I can't see past the blurriness of my eyes. They ache, they’re sore from the continuous tears that are falling. I'm a mess, my heart is broken, my spirit shattered and my life closing in to an end.
Is this the end for them all? Will I slowly lose everyone I care for? Bradley was a vital part of my life. I love the twins; they are like brothers to me and are the other part of my best friend’s heart. I look to Maria, seeing the complete devastation on her face. She needs him, more than she can possibly say. She is a mess without him, broken and shattered inside. She can't even look to Luke, devastated and broken himself. He is the spitting image of the man we have all lost today, same blue eyes and blond hair, same walk and laugh. The same goddamn cry.
I am angry, angry at the world and at my husband for letting this happen. I know in all reality it isn’t his fault, all of the men know the dangers of this situation, but I need someone to hate and lay blame on. I can't control the emotional turmoil inside of me and I am lashing out on the people that don't deserve it.
Maria is the same, hating on Luke, blaming him for the loss of his brother. He is devastated, a continuous stream of tears falling from his eyes. It has been thirty minutes since I arrived and he hasn’t stopped. He still grips Leighton as if he will disappear if he lets go. Maria has calmed, nearly asleep on her brother's lap, but Nate and Luke are a never-ending stream of despair. They have been the closest thing to one another for so long, I am sure they feel as though half of them has died tonight.
“I'm going to go grab a coffee, does anyone else want one?” I ask, standing up. I need to clear my head, get away from it all for just a second.
“I’ll come with you,” Leighton says, walking Luke to sit next to Maria on the chairs. I know she won't want him, but I’m hoping she will eventually let him in to help them heal each other. As for Leighton coming with me, I want him to. I owe him an apology, to grovel for forgiveness. There is no way in hell I will ever blame him for this loss, he must be hurting so fiercely I haven’t once considered to be his wife and comfort him.
Maria’s eyes are fluttering and heavy as Luke takes her from Antonio and settles her in his lap. “I love you, Luke. Please don't ever leave me. Please don't go,” she whispers, silent tears falling once again. She clings to him, in fear of his life.
“I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'm here. I love you.” He kisses her forehead and they cry together, clinging to one another for salvation and reprieve for their emotional stress.
Antonio walks from the room and we both follow him, walking the hospital corridors to a coffee machine. Ant pumps money in, making cup after cup of coffee and tea. He looks to me sadly, water clouding his eyes. He has been so strong for his sister, unable to really grieve. “This is fucking shit,” he shouts, throwing a cup of hot coffee at the wall, the brown liquid spraying the partition like blood, staining the whitewashed surface. “Will it ever fucking end?” he cries, falling to the wall, sliding onto his backside. He leans against the wall, his hands clenching his hair and pulling.
Leighton and I sit beside him on the floor, holding him to us. We appear to look like as though we’ve broken from the mental hospital, all of us crying and screaming in pain. All of our hearts are mashed in to the floor, all of our souls ripped at the seams. Getting back up from this is going to be hard, harder than any challenge I’ve ever faced.
Maria and Luke, they have to spend every day looking at their beautiful babies, being reminded of the incredible person Bradley was.
“We have to be the cement, you know that don't you?” I ask them half hour later, still sitting on the floor. My arse is numb and aching from the continuous pressure on the tiles.
“What do you mean?” Leighton asks, looking up from his hands.
“We have to be the ones to hold the cracks together, stop us all from breaking, and then we have to cement it all together when the time is right.” I smile sadly at my friend and husband, their own smiles present. They aren’t happy smiles, but sad smiles at the reality of everything. There is no way to change what has happened, fuck if I could, I would go back in time and stop them from ever leaving the house, but I can't. We have to face reality and move forward, however slowly it has to be.
One thing is certain though, and that is that this is to end. I will do everything in my power to finish this feud. “I know, baby. We can do that,” my soul mate tells me, wiping away a stray tear that trickles my cheek to my chin. Leighton gently kisses my lips, reminding me he is still here and safe.
Antonio needs to go home, he needs to be with Georgia and have her love and support. “Go home Ant, we’ll stay here with Luke and Maria,” Leighton tells him, gently budging him.
“My sister needs me, I can't leave,” he answers.
“You can't do anything here, man. She needs to be alone with Luke for a while, they need each other. You go home and be with my sister, please,” Leighton explains, standing up to extend his hand to Antonio.
We all stand, walking back to the family room with hot drinks in our hands. I have purchased a hot chocolate for Maria, knowing it always helps her when she is sad. “Sweetie, here drink this.” I speak quietly and softly as I approach her. Luke is half asleep with red raw eyes, Maria in and out of sleep on his lap.
“He’s not coming back is he, Ab?” she asks me and it takes all of my strength remaining not to cry again.
“No sweetie, he’s not. I'm sorry this has happened babe, but you two need to be strong for each other and look after your babies. You need to look after yourselves Bradley wouldn’t want you mourning over him so much. You know he’d spank the ever-loving shit out of you for crying, and Luke he’d kick your arse.” I try to lighten the mood and it works a little. Both of them raise their heads and laugh at me.
“He could try,” Luke answers, rubbing his eyes, tired from crying.
“Here, both of you drink up. You need to get home and get your babies,” I instruct them, handing over a chocolate and tea.
I walk away from them and sit with Leighton. Antonio approaches his sister and cuddles her, informing her he is going home to his girlfriend. She nods and kisses his cheek goodbye. Antonio claps Leighton on the back and smiles sadly at me before leaving.
Nate seems to be taking this the hardest, still on the floor in a heap, Thomas holding him. “Nate.” I call him, trying to get his attention. He ignores me, still crying and shaking.
I walk over and kneel on the other side of him. “Has he said anything?” I ask my best friend, Thomas.
“No, he won't look up,” he informs me and I sigh in heartache.
“NATE!” I call, snapping my fingers in his ear. His shoulders stiffen, which relieves me. “NATE, head up now,” I order him, my tone firm and orderly.
I hear a laugh, uncontrollable, from beneath the hands shielding his face. “He would laugh at that, you know.” Nate finally talks and I encourage it.
“Laugh at what? What would he find so amusing huh?” I laugh a little trying to get Nate to talk.
“You. He would find it so funny that you, the delicate, submissive Abigail Lock is attempting being dominant.” I budge him as he laughs.
“Hey, I'm not all submissive. If my friends are in need of my help, I’ll become a hard bitch to get them out of a funk,” I say, mocking my hurt.
“Don't kid yourself Abbi, baby. You are submissive through and through,” Leighton calls across the room, making me gasp at this words.
“One week, Leighton, one week,” I warn him, looking to him and giving my best evil eyes.
“One week what?” he asks across th
e room.
“Abstinence, Mr Lock. You will wait now,” I inform him and the scowl he gives me makes me laugh. “See, I can be in control, dear husband.” I laugh loudly, followed by everyone else in the room.
“God, you’re so under the thumb with her Leighton. God help you man,” Luke says from his seat, finally looking a little happier.
“Guys, Brad wouldn’t want us sitting around in a hospital family room, as though he’s just having an op and we’re awaiting his recovery. He’d want us out, drinking and celebrating his life. I'm going to go and buy a round of drinks at the bar down town, if you want to join me, please do.” It is a harsh reality, but Leighton is right. We are all sitting around as though Bradley is going to wake up any minute and we can see him. He is never coming back and we will run ourselves down sitting here hoping he will. I am with my husband on this, standing from Nate’s side I walk over to take his hand.
“I'm with you, I’ll give Nate, Luke and Maria a few minutes together,” Thomas says, kissing Nate’s head before standing and joining us. We walk from the room and through the endless corridors to the outside of the hospital.
“This is a clusterfuck, Leigh. What are we going to do?” Thomas asks, his voice somewhat darker than usual. He has always spoken so upper class and aristocratic, but this has an edge that makes my skin crawl.
“We fight and we kill, Tom. That’s what we do.” Leighton answers simply, drawing his phone from his pocket. Marcus had left a little while ago, following Scott out. I know that they will be formulating another plan right now, Scott needs to, to stop his compulsions. Leighton has told me how Marcus lives the same life with the same hunger as him, but Scott is cold, calculating, and violent. He doesn’t want to be but he is. He is a sadist, and hurting someone else is his pleasure, so I’m sure he’s on cloud nine, scheming right now.
“Marc, where are you?” Leighton asks as Marcus picks up on the other end of the phone. “Okay, sit tight and we’ll be there soon,” he continues.
He hangs the phone up and puts it in his pocket. “Where are they? I thought we were going to a bar.” In reality, I couldn’t handle sitting around and drinking, I need to see my babies and then sleep.
“They’re at ‘The Den’. Scott is somewhat in the zone and needs snapping out of it before he goes too far. Delilah has offered her services and she won't safe-out, ever,” Leighton explains and I gasp, unbeknown to Scott’s tendency to not relent.
“Let’s go then,” I say, walking towards the car park.
“No, Abigail. You go with Thomas. You don't need to see this. Go to Ant’s and see the children. Love them,” He tells me and I try to object, but all I really want to do is go with Thomas, snuggle with my son and daughter and sleep. I fear if Leighton leaves my side he won’t return and I can't handle the thought.
“Don't leave, baby.” I beg him, my eyes locked to his.
“Abigail. Oh sweetheart. I'm okay, I promise I’ll be okay.” He presses into me, wrapping his strong arms around me. I feel secure and I love it, but I know as soon as he leaves I’ll be back to wondering and panicking. It is so unreal that Bradley is dead, that we won't see him again or hear his laugh and silly words.
“Okay, go. Scott needs you,” I tell him, now being huddled to Thomas’ side for protection. I am seeing him in a new light, a light where Thomas is now no longer my gentle best friend but a killing machine. It is weird but also refreshing knowing he can protect me.
“Bye baby, I’ll call you as soon as I’ve sorted the situation out.” Leighton runs off to his car and Thomas walks me back inside, into shelter. We wait for Nate, Luke and Maria to appear, the three of them walking together, arms around one another. It is sad, seeing them without their brother, but it is now life.
“Let’s go home. I need to see my babies,” Maria speaks, nodding to herself to give strength and guidance. We all nod in return, feeling the same nostalgia for our family.
Chapter Thirty-Five Leighton
I drive, with caution to the wind. My car zooms through the streets and country lanes as I fight desperately to get to Scott before he does something he regrets. The summer night is not a clear one, the rain hammering down, thunder pounding in the sky and the lightening flashing relentlessly. It is almost poetic, as though God feels the pain we feel after the loss of a brother.
A storm of emotions flood my system; hurt, anger, anguish, despair, loss and ultimately a hunger for revenge. I need Scott in the best possible mind to take on the train wreck ahead of us.
“Where is he?” I ask the Dungeon Monitor as I enter through the double doors and into the communal area.
“Room 6. He okay, Leigh?” John asks me.
“No, far from it. Brad passed away tonight. He’s not himself,” I reply, moving on.
“Marcus is with him, keeping an eye on him,” John informs me before leaving me to it. I run through the building, not stopping to talk to anyone, before storming through the door of room 6. Delilah stands restrained to the wall, her body completely naked. Her skin is blistered and welted with purple and red bruises. Small trickles of blood trail her back, yet still, Scott doesn’t relent with his attack. His bull whip comes down against her skin over and over, both of them in their element, fully aroused and moaning with each contact.
“Scott,” I announce sharply, halting his torture on Delilah. He looks to me, growling and giving me the most demonic set of hazel eyes I have ever seen. His sadistic side has fully erupted and is dangerous.
“Marcus, release her and tend to her please. I need to talk to Scott,” I demand my newest friend, walking across the room to pull the whip free from his clammy palm. I can see by looking at him, that he is barely holding it together. His lip has already begun quivering and his beautiful eyes watering. He is holding it until Delilah has gone, not wanting her to see him broken.
We both listen as the door closes behind us before Scott collapses on the floor in front of me, his knees smashing to the ground and his fists coming down hard in front of him, banging against the wood floor. “I'm struggling here, Leigh,” Scott informs me, his body shaking with adrenaline and anger.
“I know you are, I am too, buddy,” I tell him, kneeling beside him. None of us had ever expected to lose one of our own, at such a young age. We had never expected that with our well thought out plan, one of us would die regardless. Sometimes, you can't plan everything and we have now lost a detrimental piece of our team because of it.
“Help me, please, heal me. It hurts so much. I can't breathe, Leighton. I feel like someone has a grip on my heart and is squeezing so hard the blood flow has ceased.” I feel so much sadness for Scott. He rarely shows his feelings, only arousal. This has really affected him and it makes it so much harder to bear.
“I’m trying, Scott. I'm trying to find a way to fix this mess, to keep this family together, but I don't think I can without him. One of us has left this earth, taking a piece of all of us with him. Brad will forever be a part of my heart and soul, Scott.” He shakes and cries beside me, allowing his emotions to seep through his stone hard exterior.
“We need to finish this, Leigh. I can't face this again. This needs to be over. Tonight, this needs to end tonight.” Scott looks to me with burning eyes, begging for me to help him. I have a feeling that ending this will heal everyone, give us all closure. It just cuts me to know Bradley sacrificed his life for this. It was never his battle, it was mine and mine alone.
“Tonight,” I tell him, knowing we already have the plan in motion. We no longer need the fake tragedy we planned, we have the loss of Bradley to draw them in. His mourning will make us ‘weak’ and ‘vulnerable’ for an attack from them.
“Fucking let’s do this, man.” Scott stands up, his sadness and heartache gone, replaced with the sadistic bastard I know he is. “Call them now?” he asks me, tidying up the room before walking out. I follow him, calling Antonio. I inform him that the plan starts now but to leave Nate and Luke out of it, they don’t need to be pulled away from ea
ch other right now. Luke needs to be with Maria and his brother; they need to comfort each other. We will do this, for them, for Bradley and for all of us.
On it, Boss. See you there soon. Ant messages back and I know he’s already on his way out of the door.
“Scott, Ant’s meeting us at mine with Tom. It’s on,” I tell him as I catch up to him in the communal area. We grab Marcus from the bar, dragging him away from a pretty little thing he’s talking to. “Marcus, it’s happening now,” I inform him as we walk outside to my car parked up.
We all jump in and I speed from the car park, not even strapping myself in with my belt. I just hope to god nobody gets in my way, because I’m not stopping.
Skidding to halt in my large driveway, I switch off the engine and lights and run indoors. Antonio and Thomas are already at the counter in my kitchen, our written plans sprawled across the worktop, covering every inch.
“So, plans have changed slightly. We were going to use a false tragedy to draw them in, make them think we’re weak and unaware, but now, unfortunately today has happened, giving us ample reason to continue this plan. They will think they have broken us by killing Bradley, but they have done far from it. They have strengthened us and given us more reason to retaliate. We do not have a mourning period, we leave that to Luke, Nate and Maria. We attack now,” I say quickly.
“I agree, this is really hard to deal with right now, but it is the perfect time to do it. They won't expect us to be prepared to be after them already, they will think we’re all crying and beyond grief at the moment.” Antonio speaks, pointing to a place on the map we have drawn. “You remember this office, Leigh. Well I know for a fact it is still being used, I pass it often and always see people inside. We could set up here. Whoever is in there, we make them disappear first and then use it,” Antonio explains, pointing out the different exits and benefits to the warehouse type building.