“Don’t make a thing out of it, Jordan.” His mouth set in a tight line and he took a sip of his beer. He lifted one shoulder in an annoyingly nonchalant gesture. “It’s only a book. No big deal.”
“Right.” Jordan nodded and her heart sank. “I should go up and give them their bath before it gets too late.”
What had she expected? He was being her friend, and yes, he was as attracted to her as she was to him, but wanting sex was a far cry from wanting an instant family. Damn it all. Tearing her gaze from his, she pushed herself off the counter and headed for the living room.
“I’m doing what you wanted. This is what we agreed on, isn’t it?” Gavin’s words stopped Jordan cold. She stood in the doorway but didn’t turn around. “You and me. Just friends so we don’t confuse the girls. But I gotta be honest, Jordan. I’m feeling pretty confused, and I don’t know which end is up.”
Jordan spun around, but before she could respond, he slammed his half-finished beer bottle on the counter.
“No point in wasting those waves. I could use the opportunity to burn off some extra energy.” Yanking his shirt off over his head, once again putting that gorgeous chest on display, Gavin held up both hands and backed out of the kitchen toward the deck. “Tell the girls I said good night. I’m going for a swim.”
As he slipped through the dining room and out the sliding doors to the deck, Jordan’s heart slammed in her rib cage. He was right. He had been doing exactly what she asked him to do. Then why did it feel so shitty? It looked like she wasn’t the only one feeling confused. After the girls went to bed, she was going to make sure she and Gavin got a few things straight.
* * *
Gavin hadn’t been swimming in surf that rough for far too long, and the coming storm provided exactly the stress relief he needed. He dove and tumbled through wave after wave. The sand and shells scraped against his belly and legs, but he barely felt the pain. If he stayed out there long enough, the surf would beat the stupid out of him. Right now, that was the only excuse for the way he was acting.
He never should have given the girls that book, and not because he didn’t want them to have it. In fact, handing it over to Lily and Gracie had felt like the most natural thing in the world for him to do. But he should have known that Jordan might freak out. His own mother had raised her eyebrows when he’d gone to the house to find it. Oh, she hadn’t said anything, but she’d given him that look.
That “Are you sure you should be doing that, Gavin?” look.
Shoving his wet hair off his face, Gavin strode out of the surf and swore under his breath. What the hell was he doing? These weren’t his kids, and Jordan wasn’t his wife. But he’d been here playing house all week long, and the worst part was that he’d loved every damned minute of it. He’d almost lost it when Gracie had hugged him tonight, but the terrified look on Jordan’s face had been like cold water on a fire.
Based on that look, he could only assume she didn’t agree with Gracie’s sentiment.
In that instant, Gavin had known it was time for him to leave. Ted was safely tucked away in rehab and wouldn’t be trouble for anyone for a while. Besides, Jordan said he wasn’t even picking up the phone when the girls made their weekly call to him, and there was a good chance she wouldn’t hear from that dirtbag again for a long time. She had been right about Ted. That guy didn’t give a shit about her or his own daughters. He was just pissed that he’d lost the perceived battle. Like many successful men, he didn’t like to lose. The jerk had probably only checked into rehab to look good in front of the judge.
Gavin spotted his towel and bent to pick it up. The cool wind whipped around him, the sand stinging his flesh. He shivered in the unseasonably cold air as he wiped the water from his eyes and turned his face to the starless indigo sky. The sun had finished setting, but there was enough light to see the thick cloud banks as they rolled in the atmosphere. There was definitely going to be a big storm tonight. And as if on cue, thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning streaked across the night sky.
He towel-dried his head, and when he pulled the towel down to dry the rest of his dripping wet body, he found Jordan standing in front of him. The girls’ bedroom light was out; he must have been out here a lot longer than he thought.
The temperature had dropped significantly and the woman had to be freezing, wearing only her long, blue sundress. If it were lighter out, he’d probably see her skin covered in goose bumps. He was about to ask her what the hell she was doing out there with a storm about to break, but she shoved at his chest and swore loudly.
“Why did you give them that book?” Jordan shouted over the crashing waves, the wind whipping her hair around her face. Tugging a strand from her eyes, she shoved him again. “Tell me, Gavin. Why?”
“I told you…” He squared his shoulders and kept his voice even. She was angry with him and he didn’t blame her. He’d pushed it and she wasn’t ready. “It’s no big deal. It’s only a book.”
“Bull!” Hands on her hips, she glared up at him, her eyes flashing. The storm in the sky was matched only by the fierce look on her face. “You and I both know that book was like your bible as a kid. Your brothers used to tease you and say that you probably slept with it under your pillow. For God’s sake,” she shouted, “you saved it for over twenty years like a damned heirloom. So do not tell me it’s only a book. That book means something to you, Gavin.” Her voice softened and broke with emotion. “And you gave it to my girls.”
“What do you want from me, Jordan?” He threw the towel to the sand and stepped closer, looming over her and intentionally invading her space. “Tell me. Huh? Because I am too tired to try and figure it out. Okay? You wanted to just be friends around your girls, so that’s what I’ve been doing.”
He inched closer and she backed away, but Gavin grabbed her wrists and tugged her against him. His voice dropped to a gravelly whisper, and her face, shadowed in the dim moonlight, had an unreadable expression. Her breasts pressed against his chest and her legs tangled between his, making him want to peel that dress off her and dive deep.
“All I can do is think about you, Jordan. About touching and tasting you.” He dropped her arms abruptly and backed up. Holding his hands out in surrender, he yelled, “But I don’t. Even though it’s torture, I don’t.”
Swearing under his breath, he let out a sigh of defeat and settled his hands on his hips. She was standing there staring at him like he’d lost his mind. Maybe he had. But there was one fact he was certain of: his state of mind was still up for debate but his heart was long gone. He’d lost it to Jordan and her daughters.
“I’m sorry if you’re angry with me for giving them the book,” he said firmly. “No. You know what? Screw that. I’m not sorry. It was mine to give, and I know Gracie and Lily love it.”
Lightning flashed, closer now, and illuminated Jordan’s face long enough for him to see she was crying. His gut clenched and something inside him crumbled. Those tears were because of him—not her shithead ex-husband—him.
“Damn it, Jordan.” His voice lowered to a restrained growl. “I thought I could be here with you and the girls, and keep my distance. But I was wrong. I was only supposed to be here long enough to make sure he didn’t bother you, and now that he’s in rehab, you don’t need me to stay anymore. I’ll get my stuff and be out before the girls wake up in the morning.”
As he brushed past her toward the house, her hand snagged his, stopping him from taking another step. Anticipation, desire, hope, and a harsh glimmer of fear curled inside his gut, begging to bust free. Gavin’s mouth set in a tight line as her delicate fingers tangled with his. He slowly looked to his left, his eyes fixed on hers. He expected to see pity, sadness, or maybe even regret, but those pools of brown glittered at him with something else. Lust? Anger? Need?
“I’m not angry with you.” The low, husky sound of her voice rushed around him in the wind. Moving to stand directly in front of him, she peered up at him through wide, teary eyes. “An
d I don’t want you to leave. Not now, and definitely not like this.”
“Then what is it?” Standing tall, his body taut, Gavin waited for the next punch in the gut. “Spit it out. No more games. You and I are too old for this crap, Jordan. Tell me why you’re so upset that I gave them that book.”
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she whispered.
And there it was.
“Fine.” Hands still at his side, Gavin fought the driving need to touch her. “Like I said, I’ll get my stuff.”
“Hold it.” Jordan pressed her hand to his chest but Gavin didn’t retreat. Instead he leaned into it. “Let me finish.”
She was right. They had to finish this. It was time to cut the crap and tell her exactly how he felt. No more beating around the bush and acting like this thing between them wasn’t a big deal. It was. It was the biggest deal of his life, and he’d be damned if he was going to let her go without a fight.
“No,” Gavin growled, leaning in further still and bracing for the rest of her rejection, her fingertips digging into his flesh. “You know why? Because I’m not finished. I still have something else to say to you,” he shouted, frustration edging every gritty syllable. “You wanna know why I gave them my book? I gave Lily and Gracie that book because I am hopelessly in love with their mother and I always have been. There. I said it. I love you, Jordan. I’ve loved you since the fourth grade, and I’ll love you until the day I die.
“That guy, Ted? Your ex-husband? He’s a stupid son of a bitch. That man had you and those two girls for his family, and he pissed it away. For the past week, I’ve been living in a damn fairyland, pretending like you’re my family, and tonight, when you looked at me in the kitchen, after Gracie asked me to stay? It was clear to me that you don’t feel the same way.”
Breathing like he’d run a race and emotionally spent from spilling his guts, Gavin stood, his hands curled to fists at his sides, waiting for the rejection. He could take it, he told himself. She’d left before and he’d survived. He could do it again. It would hurt like hell and he’d probably have to leave town again to get over it, but right now he would stand here and take it like a man.
She opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it shut. For a split second, Gavin thought she was going run away. But she didn’t, and then she did something even more unexpected.
Cursing, Jordan grabbed his face with both hands, popped up on her toes, and captured his mouth with hers. The second those sweet lips touched his, the dam broke. Gavin groaned and opened to her, his tongue immediately seeking entrance. He kissed her deeply, tangling his hands in her long, windblown hair as they both dropped to their knees on the soft sand. She tasted sweet, spicy, and hot, and fed his desire but not enough to satisfy. He wanted more.
He gathered her hair in his hands, his fingertips grazing her scalp before he pulled back and reluctantly broke the kiss. Jordan whimpered, fingers digging into the flesh of his waist as she leaned in, seeking more. Gavin held her there, his mouth inches from hers. The wind howled around them as they both fought to catch their breath.
“I want more from you, Jordan,” Gavin rasped, his shoulders heaving.
He tightened his hold on her and, in one teasing stroke, brushed his lips over hers without giving in to another kiss. Her taut, toned body wiggled eagerly against him and a needy whimper escaped her lips.
“Do you understand me? I want all of you, Jordan, and tonight I won’t be satisfied with one kiss. If we keep going, right here and right now, then it is on. No more games. No more back and forth. It’s you and me. Get it?”
“I get it.” Jordan nodded and tried to kiss him, but once again he pulled back. She let out an unmistakable growl of discontent as her fingers dug into the flesh of his waist and she tugged his hips against hers.
“I don’t know,” Gavin murmured. “I’m not sure you really understand what I’m asking you.”
“I think I’m pretty clear on it,” she murmured. Her pink tongue flicked out and swept over her lower lip in one sexy stroke. “I only have one question for you.”
“What?” He stilled, worried that perhaps this moment, the one he’d waited for and dreamed about, would vanish in a blink. “Well?”
Silence lingered and the waves crashed wildly, the spray of the ocean wafting over them as the weight of her unknown question lingered like a giant dead end. Frustration swirled, and if she didn’t ask him soon, Gavin’s head might explode.
“Are you gonna kiss me or not?”
Relief and lust shot through him, and he linked one arm around her waist, tugging her to him. Jordan gasped, her hands settled over his biceps, and those full lips parted in a clear and unmistakable invitation. Taut with need, Gavin cupped the nape of her neck. His thumb trailed along the edge of her jaw in one slow stroke.
“The better question is…” he growled, lowering his face so it was scant inches from hers, “once I start, am I ever gonna stop?”
Before she could respond, he slid his thigh between her legs and in one swift movement laid her out beneath him on the sand. He pinned her body under his, dragging her hands above her head and holding them there. Gavin had never seen anyone so beautiful in all his life. With her eyes glazed with desire, her hair spilling around her like a halo in the dim moonlight, and her body laid out for him, she was all of his fantasies come to life.
Perched over her, need clawing at him from the inside out, Gavin tilted his hips and rubbed himself against her in one slow pass. He wanted her to know what she did to him, to be certain of how desperate and needy she’d made him. Jordan gasped and arched her back, the movement highlighting her full breasts. The sight made his dick twitch.
Gavin dipped his head and slanted his mouth over hers as a strangled cry escaped her parted lips. Soft and pliant, weak with lust, Jordan opened to him as he slowly and languidly slid his tongue along hers. With each passing second the intensity of the kiss grew, as though fifteen years of waiting and wishing were bubbling to the surface all at once. He fleetingly thought about the most dangerous fires. The ones that burned really slowly, right under the radar and out of sight, until finally, at a certain point, that red ember erupted into a full-blown blaze.
That’s what this was, this thing between him and Jordan, the one he couldn’t escape or shake off. No matter where he went or what he did, his feelings for Jordan were always there, right beneath the surface, waiting to erupt. It was the slow burn before the inferno, and right now, the flames burned hot.
Breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips along her throat, then inched lower to the valley between her breasts. Releasing one arm, he dragged his fingertips down to the thin strap of her dress and tugged it off her shoulder. Jordan yanked her arm free, and Gavin let out a groan of appreciation as the fabric slipped away, revealing her full, round breasts. Leaning on his elbow, he shifted his weight, lowered his head, and drew one rosy pink bud into his mouth. Taking his time, he lavished attention on one and then the other, not sure which one tasted sweeter but eager to take the time to find out.
Jordan cried out when he grazed his teeth over her nipples. She threaded her fingers through his hair, holding him to her as he licked and suckled. Need and desire surged through him, and his erection throbbed harder with every passing second. As if knowing exactly what he was thinking, Jordan let her hand drift down and curl over his heavy length. He swore and nuzzled her breast as she stroked him through the thin, wet fabric of his swimsuit.
“Let me touch you, Gavin,” she whispered, slipping her hand beneath the waistband of his suit. “I need to feel you. I’ve thought about this for so long.”
Her warm fingers curled around the length of him, and he almost came right then and there. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting for control as she worked him in her hand. Gavin pushed himself up on his elbow and flicked his eyes open, immediately latching on to her heavy-lidded stare. It was intimate and erotic to look Jordan in the eye as she pumped the length of him with slow, sure strokes. Still, he needed
and wanted more.
“No reason you should have all the fun,” he rasped. His fingertips trailed over her breasts, along her rib cage, and over the curve of her hip before tugging the fabric up. Gavin’s hand rushed up the smooth flesh of Jordan’s bare thigh, his thumb trailing along the inside until he bumped up against the lacy fabric of her panties. Hooking his finger under the edge, he pushed them aside and the tangle of need in his gut swelled. “You are so wet for me, Jordan.”
Gavin slanted his mouth over hers at the same instant he ran his thumb over her clit. He slipped his thumb between her slick folds. She pumped him faster as he slid two fingers in and out of her sex, alternating with swift passes over her clit. Each time he pressed the tiny nub, slick with her desire, Jordan moaned into his mouth and tilted her hips toward him, begging for more. Her tempo increased and Gavin’s own orgasm started to crest. It was too soon.
Damn it. He didn’t want it to end.
A huge crack of thunder and a shot of lightning seared overhead, making them realize they had to move this little party inside.
Kissing her deeply, Gavin grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her hand away. He settled, once again, in between her wide-spread legs. Resting his forearms on either side of her head, he brushed sand off her cheek. Her hands played over his back and down to his ass. Thunder rumbled again and the wind howled over them, and he started to feel the first droplets of rain.
“The storm is about to unleash on us,” he murmured, kissing the tip of her nose. “Why don’t we go inside and continue what we started?”
“Afraid of a little rain?” she teased. Hooking her ankles over his legs, she tugged him against her. “Wait until the guys at the station hear that one, Chief.”
“It’s not the rain I’m afraid of,” Gavin said quietly. Even in the dim moonlight he could see that her hair was a mess, her lips were swollen from his kisses, and she looked absolutely perfect. His heart ached with the perfection of her. She was made for him. He knew that now more than ever. “I want tonight to last. Come on.”
Brave the Heat Page 18