by Rick Cook
Jerry was still coughing and spitting, so he just nodded. “I think we’d better find another way through here,” he said when he got his breath back.
###
“Something in the tunnel up ahead,” Shamus whispered. “Magic?”
Malus paused for an instant and then shook his head. A quick gesture from their commander sent the guardsmen shuffling into a new formation, shields to the front and spears and halberds behind. Malus stepped into the second rank, squeezed between two tall pikemen, and flipped back the sleeves of his robe to leave his arms bare for action.
One instant the tunnel before them was dark and empty and the next it was filled with nightmare creatures backlit by a weird blue glow. Instinctively the humans started and pulled tighter together at the sight of the insect-like horrors bearing down upon them.
A swipe of a halberd and an ant-thing was standing headless, arms and legs waving blindly. A man in the front rank screamed and fell as a stream of acid washed over him, leaving smoking holes in his clothing and skin.
Malus and the other wizards began throwing lightning bolts, death spells and everything else they could think of. The ant-things died in droves before the magic, and more died beneath the guardsmen’s steel.
Step by step the humans were forced back by the oncoming waves of insectoid monsters. They left a trail of insect corpses behind them, but the pressure of the close-packed creatures was simply too great to withstand.
Thundering down the side tunnel came a column of dwarves, mailed, helmed and battle axes at the ready.
The dwarves hit the insect warriors about halfway down their column with an impact that shoved the bugs back against the wall. Streams of acid spattered off the dwarves. But dwarves are tough enough to handle molten metal and the steel of dwarfish armor is at least the quality of high-tech stainless. Save for an occasional lucky shot, the dwarves ignored the liquid.
They could not ignore the scything jaws and crushing pincers of their insectoid foes, but they did not succumb to them easily either. Steel and leather protected the dwarves and a dwarf which could be reached with a pincer meant an insect which could be reached by an axe. Work-hardened muscles drove axes through the insects’ chitinous exoskeletons and into the soft flesh beyond. The dwarves hewed legs, lopped pincers and chopped off heads with grim abandon, all the while forcing further into the main tunnel.
The charge split the Enemy column in two and now instead of attacking, the front section was trying to defend on two fronts as the humans took renewed strength from the reinforcements. The tunnel grew slippery with blood and ichor as the distance between the humans and dwarves lessened. Finally there were only a couple of insect warriors left and the humans and dwarves were putting as much effort into avoiding each other’s weapons as they were into killing bugs. Meanwhile, the back part of the insect warriors’ column was being forced further and further down the tunnel. They were not retreating, but the dwarves were chopping through layer after layer of them.
Finally, at some unseen signal the remaining insects turned as one and ran down the tunnel, leaving the shorter-legged dwarves panting behind them.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Malus panted.
Tosig Longbeard inclined his head in response. “We are allies.” One of the dwarves pushed his way through the ranks and whispered in the king’s ear. “Now if you will excuse us, there is—ah—a matter which we must investigate.” With that he turned and signaled to his followers. As they fell back and the king strode to the front Malus caught a scrap of the messenger’s words.
“. . . piled clear to the ceiling . . . just everywhere.”
“Well,” said Malus. “If those creatures return they shall have to fight past the dwarves. Those will not give up treasure merely because of a horde of giant ants.”
“Fine with me,” said Shamus. “If they keep those bugs away from us they’re welcome to all the treasure they can carry.”
###
“Light up ahead,” Malkin whispered to Wiz.
What now? Giant ants or lava? He tightened his grip on his staff and motioned the others to make ready.
The light was blue, but brighter blue than the fungus in the ant tunnels. It bobbed about as it came on, casting moving shadows on the floor and walls. Wiz scanned the shadows anxiously, looking for something hiding there.
Malkin was crouched to one side, rapier drawn and ready. When he looked back at the light he could make out figures in it. In fact . . .
Malkin screamed and dropped her rapier. Before Wiz could react she dashed forward bare-handed.
“Jerry!” she yelled.
Wiz looked again and sure enough, it was Jerry with a knot of people.
Malkin ran to Jerry and practically leapt into his arms. He hugged her and lifted her clear of the floor in a single sweeping motion. Meanwhile the others pounded up and there was a brief orgy of back-slapping, hugging and yelling.
“How the hell did you guys get here?” Wiz asked looking over the assortment of guards, wizards and others who were with his friend.
“We came looking for you,” Jerry said, through Malkin’s dark hair. Then he set her down and kissed her soundly. “Bal-Simba’s here with Moira and a bunch of other people and, oh, Wiz, this is Taj, E.T. Tajikawa.”
“The Tajmanian Devil? I’m honored to meet you, but how did you get here?”
“Let’s just say they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” Tajikawa said. “No, not that kind of an offer,” he said when he saw Wiz’s expression. “They just dangled a real interesting problem under my nose.”
“You know Major Mick Gilligan?”
“Good Lord? You’re in on this, too?”
“It’s a long story,” Gilligan said, “and it’s just ‘Mick,’ no more ‘Major’.”
“Let me guess.”
“We found a solution, too,” Jerry said. Then he explained to Wiz and the others about A-life and the probable nature of their enemy.
“It makes sense,” Wiz said when the Taj and Jerry duet finally ran down. “It would explain a lot of what we’ve found since we arrived.”
“I am glad it makes sense to you,” Malkin said, still clinging to Jerry’s arm, “because it’s gibberish to me. All I know is we’ve got to find this thing and finish it.”
“That’s what it comes down to,” Taj agreed. “Otherwise it will get bigger, meaner and nastier all the time.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, “and closer too. Look!”
Wiz turned and saw zombies bearing down on them.
“Quick,” Wiz yelled, “down this tunnel!” Programmers, guardsmen and wizards all dashed for the indicated opening. Jerry was the last in, backing down the tunnel for a distance before turning and running to join the others.
The zombies tottered out of the cavern and started down the tunnel, their sightless eyes fixed on their prey. Wiz stepped to one side, staff raised, ready to strike out at their undead attackers. Jerry put a hand on his arm to restrain him.
“Wait a minute,” he said. “I may have something better.” Wiz looked apprehensively at the oncoming horde but lowered his staff.
The first zombie tottered more than usual and stopped. He jerked convulsively as if trying to lift his trailing leg, but the foot stayed planted on the floor. By this time two other zombies had stopped, then three more. Before they were twenty paces down the tunnel all the zombies were stopped, doing a weird jerky twitch-dance like a demented version of a rock video.
“That should hold them for a while,” Jerry said with satisfaction.
“What in hell land of spell was that?”
“Crazy Glue,” Jerry told him.
“Yeah, but how does it work?”
“Crazy Glue.”
“No, not what you call it, but how does it work?”
Jerry held up a green-and-white bottle. “Crazy Glue. Jumbo size. I picked some up when we were in Vegas. I put drops of it all over the floor. Relax. They’re not going anywhere.”
“Until
they cut their feet off and crawl after us,” Wiz said.
Jerry looked back over his shoulder. “Don’t give them any ideas.”
“You know,” Wiz said as they turned the corner out into another cavern, “those are the first zombies I’ve seen in a while. I wonder what happened to all the rest of them?”
“Oh, they were delicious,” came a bubbling voice out of the darkness. The group turned and the giant lobster emerged from the shadows. “Such flavor, such character.” He clicked his claws together in a way that reminded Wiz of a gourmet smacking his lips. “Humans improve tremendously with aging, you know.” There was a pause. “Not much conversation however, and they simply would not stop wiggling.”
Wiz turned slightly green. Something in the back of his mind kept reminding him that lobsters were carrion eaters.
The lobster clicked his claw more forcefully, with a sound that rang like a rifle shot in the cavern. “Oh, parsley! I don’t suppose your friends brought any with them?”
“Not part of our MREs,” Gilligan said, keeping his hand close to his pistol butt. “Sorry.”
“Oh, well, one can hope, can’t one? In any event, if you’ll excuse me, I believe there are some more of them down this way.” With that the lobster brushed by them and hustled off the way they had come, feelers atwitch with anticipation. Wiz, Mick and the others watched him go. Then Mick and the rest turned to look at Wiz.
“Uh, that’s the lobster.”
“Another ally?” Gilligan asked.
“Kind of. Just don’t let him have you over for dinner.”
Twenty-Eight
The End of the Beginning
They met Bal-Simba and Malus’ group in another large chamber perhaps a half-mile on. There was another backslapping reunion and then a quick council of war to plan the final assault.
“Our detectors show the center of the thing—and Moira—are down that tunnel and in a large room beyond,” Bal-Simba told the group.
“So do we sneak up on this thing?” Taj asked.
Wiz shook his head. “We’re not going to surprise it. It knows we’re coming.” He looked around. “My suggestion is that we divide into two groups. One bunch of us will charge the thing and hit it hard. Hopefully that will keep it occupied. Meanwhile, the second group, with Bal-Simba and most of the wizards comes up behind, throwing as much magic at it as you can.” He looked at the golden globe in the Tajmanian Devil’s hand. “Taj, you go in tucked in behind the first line, ready to lob that thing at it as soon as we get close. With luck it will be so busy with the first and second lines it won’t even see you coming.”
“I claim quest companion’s right to stand in the front rank,” proclaimed Glandurg, stepping forward.
Wiz sighed and nodded “Okay. Take the extreme right of the line then. Jerry, you and Danny stay to either side of me.” Malkin stepped forward. “Malkin, you stay with Jerry.” June moved up next to Danny and Wiz didn’t waste breath trying to tell her where to stand.
“Now the first wave of the second rank will be mixed wizards and guardsmen. Shamus, I’ll leave it to you and Bal-Simba to order that, but I want Bal-Simba and some of the Mighty behind them. Moira, you stay in the rear with the guardsmen and Bal-Simba.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay, then. We go in fast and try to hit this thing hard and all at once. Our primary objective is to get Taj close enough to this thing to throw the grenade at it.” Then he paused and looked at his companions. “Our secondary objective,” Wiz said grimly, “is to protect the dragon from my wife.”
No one mentioned the third objective.
###
Wiz looked at the people arrayed around him. One by one those in the first line signaled they were ready. He looked over his shoulder and saw the second line was ready to go too.
“Wait a minute,” Jerry said. “I’ve got something to go in first.” He spoke a phrase, gestured and suddenly there were hundreds of fluffy pink Rambo bunnies on the floor, with machine guns slung and drums at the ready. The mechanical rabbits turned and started down the tunnel in loose order, some going straight on and some dodging from cover to cover.
Wiz s eyebrows shot up, but he watched the “recon element” go marching, dodging and banging up the tunnel without comment.
“It knows how to deal with those,” Taj pointed out.
“Yeah, but they’ll give it something else to think about”
Almost immediately the tunnel was filled with smoke, gunfire, roars, screams and colored lights. Bits of bunny, pieces of monster, boonie rags, cartridge cases, chunks of rock and other, less identifiable objects came flying out of the tunnel.
“That’s our cue, folks,” Wiz yelled. “Hit ’em!” With a yell the group charged down the tunnel and into bedlam.
The surviving rabbits were still blasting their way forward but not all the defenders had been suckered into attacking them. Three steps into the tunnel a giant spider dropped from the ceiling, aiming for Wiz’s face. He blasted it with a lightning bolt that sent showers of dirt and rock down on the party and kept going without breaking stride. Another step and a wall of flame came roaring down the tunnel, only to turn aside and break back under the impact of Wiz and Jerry’s spells. Meanwhile, Malkin speared something on her rapier that writhed horribly and screamed like a dying child. Wiz had only a sickening glimpse of it before Malkin tossed it back into the maelstrom before them with a flick of her blade.
Two more steps and an undead dragon reared up before them. It took the combined fire of all the wizards and several mighty strokes from Blind Fury to cripple the monster and a liquid-oxygen spell from Jerry combined with a deluge of water from Wiz to freeze the thing solid. As they scrambled over the still-straining monster, the walls of the tunnel began to constrict on them like a throat. Jerry used a spell to force the tunnel to dilate, but he could only handle a few feet at a time. They pushed on step by step with Jerry dilating and Wiz freezing the tunnel in place repeatedly.
That left Danny to handle the attacking monsters, and his methods, while generally effective, tended to be chosen for creativity. Wiz was especially impressed with the spell that created four equidistant points of strong gravitational potential around the circumference of the tunnel. It not only ripped a herd of charging tyrannosaurs into little, bloody pieces, but it plastered the remains tightly against the wall so the attackers didn’t have to wade through them. His method of handling the giant acid slug left Wiz less impressed, primarily because the leftover slime was eating through his boots.
The Tajmanian Devil was busy, too, although Wiz couldn’t be sure what he was up to. He thought Taj was responsible for stopping the horde of armored skeletons that fell apart into piles of bones as they came down the tunnel.
Wiz couldn’t see what was going on in the back, either. However, the yells, screams, banging and other noises told him the other waves had their hands full as well.
The air began to grow clammy and the temperature in the tunnel dropped perceptibly. Then mist began rising from the tunnel floor. Jerry and Wiz dispersed it as best they could with their staffs, but it came back ever thicker until it was a wall in front of them. Then it grew thicker yet, until it swirled around them, confining each of them in their own little bubble.
Almost touching, but isolated by fog and freezing wind, the party forged ahead into the chamber. There were bits of ice in the fog that stung against skin and eyes, distracting them and making them lower their heads. Wiz gripped his staff tighter and held his cloak before him to try to shield himself from the magical storm. Dimly he could see Danny and Taj as darker forms forcing their way ahead on either side of him, but the rest of the party was utterly lost from view and hearing. Belatedly he realized they should stop and regroup, but there was no way to communicate with the others. So he lowered his head again and concentrated on putting one foot ahead of the other on the treacherous icy floor.
The going was easier for some than others. In a few paces their ready-formed line had grown ragged and then
dissolved completely.
“Wiz!” Taj yelled, and tossed the sphere to him. Wiz caught it in both hands, juggling globe and staff as the wind whipped and lashed at him.
Suddenly the wind tore the fog away and there was Moira, sitting on a throne carved of black glass. Rising behind her was a black, gelatinous mass that shimmered and rippled as if from the wind.
His wife stood and held out her arms.
“Come, darling,” she breathed. “Come to me.”
Wiz’s breath caught in his throat. She was as beautiful as ever. Her flaming hair a mane about her and her green eyes as wide and inviting as he remembered. Beneath the shimmering green gown he could see her belly swelling with new life. She extended her arms to him in open, aching invitation.
“Kiss me. Oh, kiss me, Wiz.”
In spite of himself Wiz took a step forward, the grenade loose in his fingers.
Suddenly Moira froze. She twisted and shrank in on herself. There where Moira had been was a large green frog.
Wiz gasped and stepped back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Danny blow on his fingertips, like a gunfighter blowing gunsmoke from the barrel of his six gun.
“Ribbet,” said Moira.
With a convulsive jerk, Wiz hurled the golden globe over Moira’s head in the direction of the shining mass.
The sphere hit the dais beside the throne, but a hungry black pseudopod lashed out and scooped it up and into the glistening thing behind.
There were flashes within the ice, blue and green and red and orange, like the largest, most gorgeous fire opal that ever was. The cavern shook and a high, grating noise seemed to come from everywhere at once. The surface bulged and pulsed and heaved like gelatin going over speed bumps.
The mass seemed to slump in on itself and the flashes dimmed and died. Then it was an ordinary block of ice with shadowy forms embedded in it.