He took a deep breath as he clenched his jaw. He knew that she didn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. He forced himself to release her arms, she was scared enough without being trapped by him. He walked over and picked up the box, determined to show her that he wasn’t going to force anything on her. Not yet anyway. If she kept fighting him, than he didn’t know what would happen. He knew that it would hurt again, if she resisted him, but if she didn’t...
He actually didn’t know how it would feel if she didn’t resist him. All the humans he had fed from had never known because he had blocked it from their minds, and memories. The only person who had ever fed off of him, except Kyle, was the woman that had changed him and it had been the most excruciating experience of his life. He knew why Isabelle feared it, recalled the agony that had seized him, but he also knew that this was something that he wanted, something that he needed with every ounce of his heart, and soul.
“Let’s talk about this later.”
He hefted the box and turned to face her. She watched him warily, the tears on her cheeks drying slowly. “Stefan...”
“Later Isabelle.”
She wanted to fight with him, wanted to protest his highhanded, commanding manner, but she instinctively knew that he would became enraged again. There was something wrong with him, something bothering him. She didn’t know what it was, and he didn’t seem willing to tell her at the moment. She wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to know. She had seen the fury that had consumed him, seen the near loss of control that had seized him, and she was scared that it would happen again, and this time he wouldn’t come back.
Isabelle shuddered as she wrapped her arms around herself. She knew what he wanted from her, but she also knew that she could not give it to him.
CHAPTER 19
“I can’t believe that bitch slapped you!”
“Abigail!” her mother said sharply.
Abby sent her a rueful look, but her eyes were full of fire as she turned back to Isabelle. Isabelle shrugged as she added more paint to the roller. “You should have hit her back!”
“She has a right to be mad Abby,” Isabelle said softly.
“She does not!” Vicky yelled.
Isabelle closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she prayed for patience. She didn’t need her sisters ranting and raving on top of everything else on her mind. All things considered, the day was totaling up to a bad one. It didn’t help that Stefan had given her the time that she’d requested, and gone with her father, and David, to feed. Her body longed for his return. It was beginning to become almost intolerable.
She slapped the roller against the wall as she grit her teeth against the clawing ache in her body. “I’m glad she’s leaving tomorrow. I don’t know how Kathleen has such a miserable bi… witch for a daughter,” Abby continued, catching herself just in time as her mother shot her a warning look.
“I don’t know what Stefan saw in her in the first place. I mean, how could he be with someone like that?” Isabelle’s jaw clenched as a fierce jealousy seized her. For a moment, the room was shaded in a haze of red as her hands tightened in a death grip upon the roller handle. “He could have his choice of women, what...”
“Vicky!” Isabelle yelled, throwing her roller down and spinning to face her sisters.
“What?” she asked in confusion.
“Enough!” Isabelle snapped.
“I was just saying...”
“Why don’t you girls go on home,” her mother interrupted as she turned to face them. Her eyes focused questioningly on Isabelle. “It’s getting late.”
They looked about ready to protest, but seemed to decide better as they looked back at Isabelle. “Okay,” Vicky mumbled.
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Abby said.
Isabelle sighed wearily as she rubbed tiredly at her eyes. “Care to tell me what’s wrong?” her mother asked softly.
“What isn’t wrong,” she muttered.
“Isabelle...”
She held up a hand, needing a few moments to gather her thoughts. Everything inside of her was a mess. She needed Stefan with her. She had wanted him to go away, to give her time to think; now all she wanted was for him to come back. It hurt when he was gone. She couldn’t think, hell she could barely even function, and now jealousy was clawing at her insides again. He had gone to feed. He would be feeding off of women, and she couldn’t help but wonder what else he would be doing with them. The thought brought the vampire in her surging to the forefront. She trembled as she struggled to draw it back, to keep it under reign.
Finally, she lifted her head and met her mother’s troubled gaze. “I just... I feel... awful,” she breathed.
Her mother smiled knowingly and nodded as she dropped her roller down. “He’ll be back soon.”
“I know it’s just that I don’t know what he’s doing, where he is, or who he’s with!”
Her mother’s forehead furrowed as the jealousy in her sizzled to fierce life, clawing at her, ripping her insides apart. “Isabelle, he’s not with anyone else.”
“How do I know that?” she snapped. “You heard Vicky and Abby! He could have his choice of women! He could have anyone and I don’t know what he’s doing with them!”
“He doesn’t want anyone but you, Isabelle. You are it, for eternity. I doubted it at first. I thought your father would grow tired of me, or find someone else, or want someone else, but it’s impossible Isabelle. As unbelievable as that may sound, it is impossible.”
Isabelle almost slumped against the wall, but managed to catch herself in time. “Why?”
Her mother smiled softly and shrugged. “I don’t know, but if you don’t believe me, ask yourself if you would ever want anyone else?”
The answer to that question was instantaneous. “No.”
“Trust me when I tell you that it is the same for him.” Isabelle nodded wearily as she glanced around the empty living room. She was far from mollified. Her mother and father were different. Isabelle wasn’t even sure how Stefan felt about her, besides thinking that she belonged to him, and that they were soul mates, but she wanted more. She wanted his love, and she wasn’t sure that she had it. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
“Does it hurt when dad bites you?”
Her mother frowned as her eyes darkened worriedly. “At first it did, but now it doesn’t hurt at all, why?”
Isabelle wrapped her arms around herself as she turned her gaze back to the window. “I was just wondering,” she mumbled.
“Isabelle...”
The opening of the door cut off whatever her mother was going to say. Isabelle’s heart picked up with anticipation as her arms fell back to her sides. Acute disappointment crashed over her as Ethan came strolling in with Jack, and Ian. Boxes were balanced haphazardly in their arms as they paused in the doorway to take in the half painted living room. “Looking good,” Jack commented.
“Us, or the walls?” her mom asked happily.
“Both,” Jack replied with a bright grin. “Although, I’m not sure what has more paint on it, you guys, or the walls.”
Isabelle smiled as she glanced down at her paint splattered clothing, and arms. She was usually meticulous when she painted, but tonight she had been unable to keep her mind focused on what she was doing. “I’m going to go take a shower,” she muttered.
She left the room quickly; ignoring the curious stares cast her way. She rushed up the stairs, suddenly needing the sanctuary of her room, and the comfort of a shower. She lingered beneath the pounding stream of water, hoping that it would ease some of the torment rolling through her body. Ease some of the tension in her muscles, and cramped chest. When it became obvious that the water wasn’t going to ease her pain, she shut it off and climbed tiredly out.
Everything in her hurt. Everything ached. She slid her nightgown over her head, brushed her hair, and moved back into the bedroom. Stefan’s scent lingered everywhere, only serving to reinforce the tearing loneliness ripping at her heart
and stomach. She sat miserably on the bed, drew her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them in an attempt to ward off the desolation that was beginning to consume her. Tears slid silently down her cheeks as she watched time slip slowly by.
It was after eleven when the door finally swung open. Isabelle lifted her head, a cry of delight escaping her as she jumped off the bed and raced over to him. He grunted slightly from the force of her impact as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest, clinging tightly to him as she cried. He kicked the door shut before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close against him.
The feel of him instantly caused the ache inside of her to ease, but her fear lingered as she tried desperately to get closer to him, to bury herself in him. It wasn’t enough, she couldn’t get close enough.
He lifted her chin gently with his finger, forcing her head up to meet his worried gaze. “What’s the matter love?”
She shuddered as the endearment slipped from him, wrapped into her, and caused her insides to melt. “It hurts,” she whispered. “It hurts when you go away.” He smiled tenderly as his finger stroked her bruised cheek. “I was scared that you wouldn’t come back.”
His eyes darkened as his hand stilled on her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere Isabelle, ever.” His tone was much harsher than he had intended, but her words had instantly angered him. How could she doubt how he felt about her?
“You left once.”
He ground his teeth as frustration seized him. “I’m not going anywhere without you Isabelle. The way that you feel when we’re apart, is the way that I feel.”
She stared doubtfully up at him, her lower lip trembling slightly as tears coursed down her cheeks. “You can have anyone you want.”
His eyes flashed as exasperation rolled through him. He was tired of constantly fighting her. She needed to know how he felt, needed to know that she was his, and that there would be no separating them. There was only one way that he knew how to do that for sure. Sharing blood would seal their bond; allow her to see into him, and for him to see into her. He couldn’t be entirely sure of how she felt either, until he was in her mind. Until he could open up the pathway of communication between them.
He sighed wearily as he seized hold of her waist, lifted her up, and carried her swiftly over to the bed. He sat on the edge of it, gently settling her onto his lap. Her lashes fell to veil her eyes and shadow her cheeks. He nudged her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. The vulnerability in her gaze tore at his heart. “Isabelle, we’re soul mates. You belong to me, you’re a part of me, and I am a part of you.”
She nodded slowly as her eyes slowly searched his face. “But...”
“There are no buts,” he said forcefully. “That’s the way it is. You may not have wanted it, hell I didn’t want it.” Her eyes darkened as pain flashed through them. He silently cursed himself. He was supposed to be easing her fears, and doubts, not adding to them. “But I wouldn’t change any of it. If I had known that you were here, I would have come for you sooner. I was growing tired of traveling, tired of living alone. When I came here, and saw how happy everyone was, I wanted the same thing. When I first met you, I wanted you with a desire that was so consuming it bordered on obsession. When I left here I had no control over myself, or what I was doing. I have thought of nothing but you since the moment we met.”
“What about Jess?”
His hands tightened on her as his eyes flashed with rage. “Shit Isabelle, why can’t you ever just listen to what I’m saying to you! Must you always fight me?” he hissed.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “I don’t mean too, I just... I’m jealous,” she confessed, her lids lowering to shadow her eyes again as a fierce blush crept into her cheeks.
The confession shot a bolt of pure male satisfaction through him. He was glad that she was jealous, even if it did upset her. It helped to assure him that she truly did care for him, and he was happy to realize that he wasn’t the only one in this relationship who became easily jealous. He smiled softly as he brushed her hair off her cheek, gently pushing it behind her ear. “I can’t change my past Isabelle, but the minute that I met you I didn’t want anyone else.”
Isabelle’s temper flared. He was lying to her, and if he would lie to her about this, than he would lie to her about anything. Her eyes flew back to his, narrowed with fury as she stiffened. “Don’t lie to me. I smelled her on you!”
His eyes flashed with rage as his jaw clenched, and a vein popped out on his forehead. She glared defiantly back at him, refusing to back down. “I am not lying to you,” he grated.
Isabelle’s eyes flared with fury as she struggled to break free of his grasp. He pulled her tightly back, his hands tightened upon her, rigid with anger as he clung to her. She ceased struggling as she turned toward him, her eyes burning a brilliant shade of red. It was the first time he had ever seen her completely lose control of the demon within her, and it shocked the anger out of him.
“If you would lie about this, then what else are you lying about?” she yelled. It took him a moment to realize that it was more fear than anger that had her so riled up, and out of control. He sighed softly as he reached up to brush her cheek. She slapped his hand away as tears filled her eyes. “Don’t!”
He took a deep breath and forced himself to remain calm. She was hurt, and angry, and scared that he didn’t care for her. Anger was not going to help ease any of that. The only thing he could do to ease it, was to tell her the truth. That was the last thing that he wanted to do. She already wielded enough power over him, without handing her another weapon. “I went to bed that night with Jess, but I didn’t finish. Hell, I barely even got started. I couldn’t get you out of my head Isabelle. I got no satisfaction that night, or any afterward, until you. That is the truth.”
She sat silently, her head bowed as she thought over his words. The burning jealousy in her made her want to lash out at him, but she held her tongue. She didn’t want to argue with him, but hurt, and fear, were eating away at her. There were so many women in his past, how could he possibly be happy to settle down with just her for the rest of his existence? A tear slid down her cheek, he gently wiped it away as he turned her head to face him.
She lifted her lashes slowly to meet his tender, loving gaze. It melted her to the tips of her toes. He smiled gently as he stroked the tears from her face. “Besides, what about all the men in your past, maybe you’ll run off with one of them?”
He tried to keep his tone light and teasing, but the thought damn near drove him over the brink of sanity as a fierce surge of possessiveness tore through him. He would kill anyone that ever thought of taking her from him, of touching her. Her eyes widened as all the color drained from her face. He frowned at her in perplexity as she tore her chin from his grasp.
“There are no men in my past!” she snapped, her eyes flashing violently. “You are it!”
He sighed softly as he realized that she had completely misunderstood. “Isabelle, I know you were a virgin, but you’re a beautiful woman I’m sure you had boyfriends in high school,” he soothed. She lowered her lashes, but not before he caught the shimmer of tears in her eyes. “Isabelle...”
“There was no one else,” she whispered so softly that he barely heard her. The tips of her lashes were wet against her skin as another tear slid free.
He frowned as he stared at her. “What are you saying?”
Her face flooded with color as she shifted uncomfortably in his lap. She was certain that she had never been this humiliated in her life. This whole situation was so unfair! She fervently wished that she had flung herself at every boy in high school, and every guy she had met since then, just so she could be on somewhat of a level playing field with him. Then again, even if she had slept with every guy in high school, his side of the field would still be a lot fuller than hers.
“Isabelle,” he prompted gently. He hadn’t thought it was possi
ble, but her face turned even redder as she stubbornly refused to meet his gaze.
“You’re the first everything Stefan.”
Again he had to strain to hear what she was saying, but when the words sank in, they knocked the breath out of him. He stared at her in awe, as supreme conquest flooded him. No one, but him, had ever touched her. His satisfaction vanished as another tear slid down her scarlet face. It was then that he truly began to understand what she had been going through, why she was so unsure of herself, and his commitment to her. Where her past was a blank slate, his was a scroll that could cover miles of land. It had to be very intimidating and frightening to know that.
He sighed softly as he took her chin again and turned it to him. “Look at me Isabelle.” She bit into her bottom lip as she shyly lifted her gaze to his. The humiliation was clear, and vivid, so was the fear. “There are a lot of people in my past, but I have never felt about anyone the way that I feel about you. Never. You are it Isabelle, the only one that has ever mattered to me. The only one that will ever matter.”
She stared doubtfully at him before lowering her lashes again. He forced away his anger, and nudged her chin gently. When she looked back at him, he continued speaking. “We are soul mates Isabelle, but the bond isn’t complete yet. That’s the reason why you have any doubt in me, the reason that it hurts you, and me, when we’re not together. Once we forge the bond we’ll be able to communicate with each other all the time. It won’t hurt when we’re apart, and you will never again doubt the way that I feel about you.”
She licked her lips nervously, Stefan felt himself harden against her as he watched the delicate tip of her tongue in fascination. “How?” she whispered tremulously.
“We need to exchange blood.”
Her face went white as fear blazed in her eyes. “No!”
“Isabelle, listen to me. We have to do this. It makes the bond complete.”
“I believe everything you say!” she cried. “I do! I trust you completely.”
Destined (Vampire Awakenings) Page 25