by Ivy James
“Darcy, what’s going on? Did someone say something to you?”
“No. No one said a thing to me. In fact, everyone has been amazingly nice, considering.”
“Considering what?”
“Considering who I am. I see where you get your kindness and manners. Your parents are great. And Jocelyn is—She’s beautiful. I heard about what she’s doing for the children’s ward at the hospital, using the gallery opening to get donations. That’s sweet. You’re going to be happy with her.”
Garret stiffened. “What did you say?” He grasped her elbow and gently tugged her deeper into the shadows along the side of the porch.
Embarrassed to be seen with her?
“You’re upset.” He swore softly. “Darcy, I’m sorry about this week. Work has been a nightmare with Harry arguing every change, and I thought, given timing, it might be good for both of us to take a breather and make sure we’re doing the right thing.”
“It was perfect timing,” she agreed. His expression softened into one that tugged at her heartstrings—until they broke.
“If this is about me not picking you up tonight—”
“Of course not. I mean, why would you bring me? I’m not your girlfriend. Or should I say fiancée?”
Chapter 23
SEEING GARRET GRIMACE at her wording didn’t make Darcy feel any better.
“This hasn’t been fair to you or Jocelyn.”
“You’re right. Which is why I’m going to do what I should’ve done from the beginning—keep my distance and ask that you keep yours.” She shook her head when he opened his mouth. “I mean it, Garret. This week, tonight, helped me realize I’ve turned into someone I swore I’d never be—the other woman.” She laughed, the sound bitter to her own ears. “My mother may be on husband number four, but it’s not for lack of trying to get other women’s husbands to notice her. I know better than to think situations like this end happily. It’s ironic to think of myself as a home-wrecker, big as I am, but it’s true. That’s what they consider me, too. The people in there.”
“You’re—”
“You care for me. I know that, I can see it in your face. It’s not enough. This isn’t what I want.”
“Stop. Before you say anything else, hear me out. I—”
“I can’t do this! No matter what you say right now, no matter how you look at me or make me feel, I can’t handle a baby and a relationship. Especially one like ours would be.”
“How would it be? Are you saying you won’t even give me a chance?”
“It would be awful.” She waved a hand to indicate the house. “I’ve been in there wandering around all night, listening to everyone talk about you and her and how soon you’ll be married. They’re all excited about it. Then there were the whispers about me that would stop when I got near. They love you, Garret. They’re concerned about you.” She smiled up at him, the effort costing her more than he’d ever know. “I didn’t want to like her but I did. Jocelyn could’ve been really mean and hateful toward me because of all the talk, because of what we’ve done.”
“Darcy—”
“But she wasn’t. She went out of her way to be nice, and that only made me feel worse.” Now she knew why Melanie irritated Scarlett O’Hara so much. All that goodness and kindness was hard to take.
“You’re both nice. You’re both beautiful and friendly but that’s what made this—”
“Garret, stop. She was nice. Three years is too long a time to date someone only to throw it away when someone like me crashes into town and gets your attention by foisting myself on you. That’s all it was, too. You reached out to me, connected with me, because you thought I was safe. I’m pregnant, passing through. I was someone you could talk to. Mess around with.”
“Dammit, Darcy, it wasn’t like that.” Garret stepped close, but she backed away. He stopped with a low growl of frustration. “You’re more than that. Darcy, you have every right to doubt me, to be scared, but I need you to hear me. I’ve made this situation worse by being so indecisive, but I needed to bring Jocelyn tonight. I felt like I owed her that because—”
“Doesn’t that tell you something? Because it tells me what I need to hear, loud and clear. Garret, I have to put my baby first. And I’m doing it tonight.”
“Don’t do this. Not now. I just need a little more time.”
“Whatever we had is over, Garret.”
Darcy shook her head, tried to ignore the cramp growing stronger, taking her ability to breathe normally.
“Darcy?” His gaze narrowed. “Darcy, are you—”
The door opened behind them. “Darcy?” Toby’s low murmur couldn’t have come at a better time.
“I’m h-here.” She needed help. Knew she couldn’t walk away from Garret on her own.
“I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No.”
“Dammit, Darcy—”
“Stop swearing at her,” Toby ordered, moving to her side.
“Tobe, stay out of this.”
The contraction finally ended and she released the breath she held in a gush. “Don’t talk to him like that. At least Toby knows what he wants.”
Toby helped her into her coat. “Come on.”
“No. Darcy, wait.”
She laughed, surprising both men if their expressions were any indication. “I said that to you,” she told Garret. “The night you found me in the snow. Now I wish you had kept driving.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do. My baby deserves the best I can give it, and that means being with someone who can put us first. I refuse to be second anymore. I can’t be my mother, Garret. Not even for you.”
“You’re not your mother, sweetheart. You’re scared because you’ve convinced yourself the only person you can rely on is yourself, but that’s not true. Don’t do this. I needed some time to think, but I know what I want now. I know I want you, Darcy.”
Pain coursed through her, but whether it was from the contractions or her heart shattering, she wasn’t sure. “No, you don’t. You want what you can’t have,” she whispered, struggling to hold her head high. “Goodbye, Garret. Be happy.”
“Darcy, don’t do this. Not now. Let me come with you.”
She shook her head, sad, terrified, afraid she was broken inside where it mattered most.
Toby wrapped an arm around her back and helped her to his Jeep. Darcy stared out the window at Garret’s imposing form looking so masculine against the wide white columns of the house, the image bringing back more memories of the first night she’d met him. Tears blurred her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. She’d cried enough. Now it was time to be strong.
As Toby drove her down the mountain to the hospital, her contractions began to hit closer together, harder, more intense. Oh, Nana, I need help. Why aren’t you here?
“You okay?”
“You stared at her all night,” she whispered. “I saw you watching her and wondered…before I ever heard what you said. Do you love her, too?”
Toby didn’t pretend to not know what or who she was talking about. “Yeah. What about you and Garret?”
“Yeah.”
“Fine mess we got ourselves into, isn’t it?”
She wrapped her hands around her rock-hard stomach. Mama loves you. “Yeah.”
GARRET PULLED Joss out of the crowded house and onto the porch.
“Garret? Where have you been? I haven’t seen you for over an hour.”
“Darcy’s in labor.”
The words made her blanch. Already pale, she turned positively ghostlike. Before Darcy had found him he’d sat here and reviewed everything in his head. Three years of dates with Joss—laughs, sex, holidays and vacations spent together. Family gatherings like the one tonight. The feeling of dissatisfaction he’d felt for too long. The scene in the gym’s parking lot. All of it jumbled up inside his head, combining with the time he’d spent with Darcy. The way she smelled, laughed. Her heart of gold and the kindness she�
��d shown toward others in little ways. Extra time working at the massage table because someone had had a bad day, the way she jumped up to help Gram when he knew Darcy had to be hurting and uncomfortable. The way she’d welcomed him into her arms, was honest about her feelings. Her fears. What had he done? Why had he waited so long?
Straightening, he turned around and took Joss into his arms. Her eyes widened when he palmed her face and brought her mouth to his, kissing her for all he was worth. Lips, teeth, tongue, seductive strokes and all the finesse he had in him. After a moment he lifted his head and watched her closely. But other than blinking her eyes open and giving him a weak smile, his kiss had garnered no more passion than a brotherly kiss on the cheek. More proof of what he already knew.
“Garret, what’s wrong?”
“Do you love me?”
She hesitated a split second. “Of course I do.”
“No.” His hands fell to her shoulders. “Do you love me? Are you in love with me? Do you imagine the two of us together for the next fifty years? Day after day, night after night? Do you dream about me making love to you?”
“Garret, I—”
“Do. You. Love. Me?” He shook her gently. “Do you want to marry me, or are you simply doing what you think you’re supposed to do? What we’re supposed to do because it’s been three years and everybody says it’s the next step?”
She inhaled a sharp gasp. “What? You’re asking me this now? Here?”
“I need to hear you say it. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, but I need to hear you tell me you love me, that you can’t imagine living your life without me. Because if you can’t say it, we both know something’s wrong.”
“You’re making this about me when it’s…it’s really about you. Can you say it?”
He didn’t want to hurt her. “No.”
“Because of Darcy.”
“Because I need more from my wife than you’re willing to give. When I kiss you, touch you, what do you feel? I just kissed you and you looked bored by it. Are you going to stand there and say you want years together after that kind of response? That you haven’t pulled away from me lately because you’re not feeling me?”
She opened her mouth, but other than trembling lips and the sound of her breath panting, no sound came for a long, long time. “Garret, I…” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I care for you. So much. I’d do anything for you. You are such a good man and a wonderful friend. My best friend. I never wanted to hurt you or endanger your position with my father because I know how he can be, but I don’t—”
“Love me? Not like that? Not like a husband?”
Trembling from head to toe, she shook her head.
“Thank God. I don’t love you, either. I do—” he dropped a kiss to her forehead “—love you, but not like a wife.”
She looked as shell-shocked as he felt. “Oh, Garret. How did we let this happen? How did we let it come this far?”
“I guess at the time, no one else made us stop to take notice. Now they have.”
She smoothed a trembling hand over her hair. “We’ve been together so long. Like everyone else, I thought we were it. I couldn’t stand to hurt you, and Daddy never let up about us getting married. I didn’t want to ruin things at the hospital or your relationship with him after all this time. It sounds so fatalistic now, but—”
He hugged her close. “I know. Joss, I was going to do the same thing.”
Her arms surrounded him, held tight. “What are we going to do? What happens next?”
“I’ll go along with whatever you tell people. Whatever you want to tell Harry.”
She exhaled roughly. “Daddy is going to be furious with us both. Oh, this is a nightmare. And right before the opening. Oh, no.”
Garret moved back far enough to lift her chin with his hand. “Blame me. Tell him I’m a jerk who strung you along, tell him anything you want. Just know Darcy and I haven’t slept together. This isn’t about her. It’s about us not living the lives we want.”
Her lashes fell over her eyes. “I kissed someone else. Once.”
He grinned, knowing without a doubt who that person was and unable to believe the mess they’d both have been in if he’d done as ordered and proposed. He bussed the top of her head and squeezed her tight once more. “You’re the best, Joss, but I have to go. I have to get Gram and go to the hospital. Darcy can’t have the baby alone.”
“No. No, of course not.”
Garret released her, then hesitated. “I don’t know if Darcy will forgive me for making such a mess of things, but this is a lesson for both of us, you know. Maybe you could make this the night you stand up to your father and go after Toby.”
Her eyes widened, her mouth parting in a sharp gasp. “You knew?”
He shook his head. “A good guess, now confirmed.”
“I’m sorry, Garret. We both felt horrible that it happened. We didn’t want to hurt you.”
He accepted that with a nod. “Don’t hurt each other trying to figure things out. And don’t wait like we did, Joss. Three years is way too long to keep your true feelings to yourself. If you care for him, tell him.”
Amazingly, Joss smiled. “Maybe. We’ll see. Go to Darcy and tell her…tell her good luck. Give her my best. Maybe we could be friends later. When the weirdness goes away.”
Garret grinned, winked at her, then raced for the door. “Gram!”
DARCY COULDN’T BELIEVE her eyes when Rosetta and Marilyn Tulane entered her delivery room. Hot on their heels was a nurse.
“Ladies, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait in the waiting room.”
Rosetta zeroed in on Darcy’s bed and headed toward her without pause, leaving Marilyn to speak with the nurse. She took Darcy’s hand and bent over the rail, giving her a motherly kiss and a glare. “Don’t you ever think a party is more important than you.”
“I didn’t want to ruin your fun,” she whispered, touched by the woman’s words.
“Well, now the party is over and we’re here.”
She glanced at Garret’s mother. “Um…”
Marilyn Tulane smiled at her. “Do you mind? Between Rosetta and me, we’ve both been through this many times. We’d like to help you if we can.”
But Garret’s mother?
“Darcy, what do you say?” one of the nurses asked. “Do they stay or go?”
Marilyn came to join Rosetta by the bed. Her expression softened when she got a good look at Darcy’s tear-streaked face. “Or would you like someone else? Garret wants to come in—”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“He said you didn’t want to see him anymore.” Rosetta looked as if she couldn’t quite believe the news.
“I don’t. I don’t want to see him because it’s not right. For either of us. He’s—”
“Ladies, let’s not upset her, please,” Dr. Clyde said, coming into the room. “Darcy has quite a bit on her plate as it is.”
Marilyn nodded, her expression sad. “I understand. And all that can wait until later, but Garret can’t stand the thought of you being here alone. If you send us out, he’ll likely break the door down and make a scene. We’d love to keep you company and lend you our support, Darcy. Please?”
Darcy gripped Rosetta’s hand, afraid to believe in the kindness she saw in their eyes. Afraid to think too much about why she’d been born to a mother who didn’t want her around instead of someone like Rosetta or Marilyn who took on responsibilities not their own.
Ask and ye shall receive.
“Oh, Nana.”
“Pardon, dear?”
“You can stay. I’d love for you to—” Tears filled her eyes, a lump the size of Texas in her throat. “Thank you.” Thank you.
“Oh, honey.”
Both women patted and fussed and assured her that no thanks were needed, and Darcy cried even harder because it was just too sweet. Too much. Their presence, their caring, their love for a stranger who’d crashed into their lives and caused so many problems
.
Marilyn brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll get you through this, and when you hold your baby, it’ll all be okay, Darcy. You’ll see.”
She doubted that. Nothing would ever be okay again after knowing these people, but she didn’t argue. Couldn’t when a pain started low in her back and spread, deep and hard, leaving her curled up on her left side on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe, felt someone surround her hand in a reassuring, comforting grip. Seconds later her other hand was taken—and she held tight to the mothers she’d always wanted.
TOBY HEARD HIM first. Head low, Garret sat on the floor of the L&D waiting room, staring at the secured doors and muttering to himself between curses. Unlike the night Toby had brought Maria in, the room was empty.
He hesitated briefly, then continued walking and lowered himself onto the floor beside Garret with a sigh.
“Haven’t seen you in a while. Now twice in one night. You been lying low?”
“Just busy.” He made the statement before he noticed Garret’s expression, the knowledge in his friend’s eyes. He suppressed a groan and braced himself for a blow, determined he wouldn’t block it.
“You’d better treat her right, Tobe.”
He decided it was a good thing he was sitting down. “What?”
“You heard me. You’d better treat Joss right. She’s a good woman and if you don’t get your butt in gear and—” Garret pulled a box from his pocket “—give her the ring you picked out for her, some other jerk will come along and claim her.” He tossed the box up in the air.
Toby caught it instinctively.
“Harry hates you, you need to know that up-front. All hell is going to break loose when he finds out about you and Joss, but I think with the gallery and all this, she’s finally ready to be her own woman and stand up to him. Take advantage of it.”
Toby sat there. Stunned didn’t begin to describe how he felt right now. “You, uh…What about you? You know…us?”
Garret rolled his head along the wall and shot him a glare. “I don’t like it that you didn’t speak up, but who am I to talk after falling for Darcy under the circumstances?”