Sit. Stay. Love.

by Karis Walsh

  The past week had been nerve-racking for the entire staff as they went through the endless details necessary to get the ranch ready. Pre-opening jitters were evident everywhere, and Alana was getting accustomed to hearing the housekeeping staff dropping things and Chip muttering to himself whenever she roamed through the lodge.

  Her week with Tegan had been exhausting, too. In the best way possible. They had spent an evening cooking a heart-healthy meal in her grandparents’ farmhouse kitchen, and they had explored the city, with Tegan acting as tour guide to show her the unique shops and thriving farms in and around Yakima. Her favorite times, though, were always the nights spent with Tegan. The sex, yes. Alana had never connected with a lover as thoroughly and profoundly as with Tegan. But she also loved sitting in the living room with a glass of wine, discussing their days while the puppies destroyed their footwear and Lace dozed on the couch next to them.

  She shook her head. How had she fallen under the spell of domesticity? Tegan had cast it, but Alana wasn’t even struggling a little to come back to her senses. She got up, feeling suddenly edgy and like she needed to move. She went over to Chip’s crowded office and stood next to the baby gate, looking at the unprofessional but appealing scene in front of her. Jennifer was the only one working. She was sitting at Chip’s desk and going through some paperwork while gently rocking Brandon’s bassinet with her stockinged foot. Chip and Michelle were on the floor, playing with the puppies. Lace was curled in a ball in the bed Chip had put in the corner of the room for her, where she could watch her litter and still feel protected by the walls behind her.

  “I’m going to exercise some of the horses,” she said. She usually referred to it with those words, even though her main objective had much more to do with her own riding practice than the horses’ training.

  Chip looked up at the sound of her voice. “Hey, you should take Michelle on the short loop. It’d be a mini-rehearsal for you before the weekend.”

  “I can ride,” Michelle offered in a hopeful voice.

  Jennifer turned around, and Alana expected her to mouth something along the lines of No, she can’t.

  “Actually, she can,” Jennifer said, as if reading her mind. “Well, I mean she’s been on horses. My sister-in-law has a farm, and Michelle rides with her when we visit.”

  “On her own?” Alana asked. She didn’t like this idea at all. How could she be responsible for this tiny person? She sighed. She’d better figure out how, and fast, since she had families with young children coming this weekend.

  “She knows the basics of steering and stopping. I walked the trail on foot the other day with her, and I think she’d be fine. If you don’t mind, of course.”

  “It’ll be fun,” she lied. Her heart was already racing, and her palms felt sweaty. She rubbed them on her jeans. Hopefully Michelle was a good enough rider to race for help when Alana fainted due to stress and toppled off her own horse. “Let’s go, then.”

  Michelle put down the puppy she had been holding, and it ran to the baby gate with her. Alana helped her through, and the puppy sat on the other side of the gate and whined. Alana felt like doing a little crying herself, but she forced a smile on her face as she and Michelle walked to the corral.

  She picked Cotton for her. The Appaloosa mare was small and narrow, plus she had the smoothest trot of all the horses. Alana wasn’t about to let Michelle do more than the slowest walk possible, but if the worst happened—she was beginning to sound like Tegan!—and Cotton broke from her walk, Michelle ought to be able to balance long enough to stop her.

  Alana relaxed somewhat as they groomed the horses, because Michelle seemed to have been taught well. She couldn’t reach to brush the upper part of Cotton’s body, but she stayed in the safe zones while she worked on her lower half and legs. Alana finished the higher parts and took care of tacking both horses. She got Michelle mounted in one of the children’s saddles and adjusted her stirrups before having her walk in circles around the corral until she was satisfied that Michelle could manage the basics of controlling her horse. Cotton had done this often enough to be sufficiently bored and slow, so Alana took a deep breath, mounted Fitz, and led them out of the gate.

  She was actually doing it. Leading a trail ride. She only had one person behind her, and they weren’t even a dozen yards from the main corral yet, but Alana felt the vastness of the open space around her, the enormity of what she was doing even more than when she had been out here with Tegan. She had been worried enough when it had been a vague future endeavor—one she had, honestly, never fully believed would come to pass—and now she realized what this weekend would bring. She wished more than anything that Tegan was riding with them today, talking her down from her spiraling anxiety.

  She spent more time turned in her saddle to check on Michelle than was probably safe, but she couldn’t help herself. She tried to make conversation, pointing out birds and bushes to put her charge at ease. It worked, although not in the way Alana had planned, since Michelle was soon giggling as she corrected Alana’s mistakes. She knew a lot more about the local flora and fauna than Alana, and she seemed comfortable on her horse. If only she could reach the top of the horse’s back, she’d probably be better at this job than Alana.

  They turned onto the loop. It was one of Alana’s favorites since it was short enough for her to ride quite a few times during a typical workday, on multiple horses. There were smooth spots with decent footing for trotting, and she knew she was close enough to the lodge for Chip to find her quickly if she fell off. She was even close enough to hear some sort of machinery at the lodge, probably the construction of the gazebo in the backyard.

  Her muscles were slowly starting to unwind when she heard the buzzing sound getting louder instead of quieter as they moved farther from the main ranch site. She frowned, turning back again, but Michelle merely smiled and gave her a little wave as Cotton marched solemnly along.

  They went around a sharp curve, and Alana halted, convinced something was wrong. The shrill whine was getting worse, and Fitz’s ears were flicking back and forth. He didn’t seem able to pinpoint the direction of the noise either, since the high walls of the canyon made sounds echo and magnify. It could be nothing more than a motorcycle on a nearby road, although Alana had never heard one this loud.

  She was just trying to figure out whether to keep going or turn back when she looked back at Michelle and saw a small motorbike roar around the corner, directly toward Cotton. Fitz spun to face it, snorting and with his ears pricked tensely forward. The bike’s rider skidded to a halt, nearly spinning in a full circle, and idled loudly.

  Alana’s relief that he had stopped was short-lived as she watched Cotton’s reaction with growing panic. The mare half reared, terrified by the sudden attack by the loud, metal predator. Michelle managed to stay on, but she dropped her reins. Alana was trying desperately to think of something to say, some advice to shout to her, but nothing could stop the scene unfolding in front of her.

  Cotton flipped her head, the whites of her eyes showing, and the loop of the reins slid to just behind her ears. One side was hanging low, and Alana knew what was going to happen before it did, but she was powerless to stop the mare from stepping on the dangling reins, then pulling back against the resistance her own hoof was causing and the painful jab of the bit against her jaw, the reins snapping and hanging down. Nothing to keep the mare, with her rolling eyes and panicked snorts, from running to the safety of her corral.

  Alana snapped alert, turning Fitz sideways so he blocked the trail, although Cotton wouldn’t have any trouble going around him through the sparse brush. She eased him sideways, talking quietly to Michelle and Cotton even though she doubted they could hear her over the still running bike.

  “Shut it off,” she said, not wanting to risk a yell. He either heard her or read her expression correctly, because he turned off the engine.

  Alana inched toward Cotton, reading the signs of panic and indecision in the mare’s stiff posture an
d the fear in Michelle’s frozen body. It’s just like going through a gate, she chanted to herself, sidling up to Cotton, moving Fitz a little to the right and a step backward. She saw Cotton get ready to spring about a second before she did, giving her just enough time to make a grab for the dangling reins at the same time as the mare barged into Fitz.

  Alana jumped off her horse and held both sets of reins in one hand while she grabbed Michelle out of the saddle with the other. “Go over by that rock,” she said, indicating a boulder far enough along the trail for Michelle to be safe if the horses kept dancing around her.

  She looked up and realized Chip had arrived. He must have run from the lodge because his face was bright red and he was gasping for breath.

  “Sorry,” said the kid on the bike. Alana recognized him now as one of the new evening reception desk clerks. “I didn’t realize anyone was out here.”

  “What the he—” Chip glanced over at Michelle, and then back at the boy. “What are you doing with a bike on the horse trails?”

  “I didn’t know. They weren’t marked.”

  “Yes, they are. Walk that damned thing back to the lodge and get out of here. Don’t bother coming back.”

  Chip stalked over to her. She had seen him in various stages of emotion, from good-natured to nervous, but this was the first time she had seen rage in his expression. He took Cotton’s reins from her and gently stroked the mare’s neck. She could see his hand trembling as much as her own.

  “Good job, Alana,” he said. “I’m very sorry this happened, but it could have been much worse if not for your quick thinking.”

  Alana stared at him, quite certain her face resembled a startled goldfish. She had been expecting him to turn on her next, and rightly so, for not being an experienced enough guide to have figured out what was happening far sooner than she had.

  “I heard the bike, and when I looked out the window, I saw him heading out to the trails,” Chip continued. “I couldn’t stop him, so I ran. But you’re both all right. It’s okay.”

  It definitely wasn’t okay. “I heard the noise but didn’t know where it was coming from. I should have…” She stopped. She had no idea what she should have done, which made it even worse.

  “Sound travels in confusing ways around here,” Chip said, seemingly back to his normal self. He called over to Michelle. “Let’s get back to the ranch. Why don’t I lead Cotton, and you can ride the big horse. Alana can lead you.”

  “No way,” Alana said at the same time as Michelle jumped up eagerly.

  Chip put his hand on her upper arm and lowered his voice. “She had a bad experience just now. If we let this end with something frightening, the negative feelings might stick with her for a lifetime. Don’t do that to her.” For all his appearance of being lost and bewildered within the lodge, once he was out here, he seemed full of confidence and determination.

  “I can hear you,” Michelle said. “I wanna ride the big horse.”

  “Kids,” Chip said loudly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in mock exasperation. “Come on, then. Up you go.”

  Alana reluctantly lifted Michelle onto Fitz. The stirrups on her adult saddle wouldn’t go short enough for her, so she was going to have to ride without them. Her legs stuck out nearly perpendicular to the ground because of Fitz’s wide barrel. She held onto the saddle horn and smiled at Alana.

  The horses had calmed down quickly, too, once the danger had passed, but Alana couldn’t let it go as easily. Her mind raced through a series of alternate outcomes, none of them pleasant, and all of them her fault. Her inner turmoil was completely at odds with the rest of the group. Chip and Michelle chatted and laughed, as relaxed as they had been in the office while playing with the puppies. The horses reverted to being experienced trail mounts and walked docilely along the trail, swishing their tails at flies now and again.

  * * *

  Alana wasn’t sure how she made it through the next half hour. Jennifer met them at the barn, and Alana had to listen to a rehash of the trail mishap from two perspectives. Now that the frightening immediacy of danger had passed, Michelle seemed to think it had been a grand adventure. Chip had been correct about getting her back on Fitz, and Alana was glad she didn’t seem scarred by the experience. Chip’s version was much more circumspect than Michelle’s, and awkwardly complimentary toward Alana.

  She got both horses untacked and in their corrals during all this, and she held Chip back when Jennifer and Michelle started toward the lodge.

  “I quit,” she said bluntly. She had been rehearsing a dramatic speech in her mind, but she captured the essence of it in two words.

  “Don’t be hasty, Alana,” he said, holding both palms toward her and speaking in the same tone of voice she had used to try to keep Cotton from bolting. “You had quite a shock out there. Give yourself some time to process it. Maybe take one of the other horses out for a nice walk.”

  She shook her head. She wasn’t going out there again. “You don’t understand, Chip. Before I got here, I hadn’t been on a horse before, aside from ponies at a fair, or wooden horses on a carousel. I lied on my application because I needed this job. I don’t like fishing, either. I don’t even like to buy them at the grocery store.”

  The last sentence ended on a higher note, and Alana took a deep breath to cleanse the hysteria from her voice. “I won’t put any other people in danger because of my stupid belief that I could learn fast enough.”

  He followed her into the tack room. “I saw how you handled the situation, Alana. If I thought for one second that you’d done it poorly, I’d be driving you to the airport myself. You kept your head, you made good choices, and you didn’t let the situation escalate. There are risks involved with riding, even if there aren’t motorbikes around. You’ve worked so hard to get ready for our opening, so please don’t run away now.”

  She pushed past him and hesitated in the doorway, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry I lied and wasted the time you could have spent looking for a replacement. Everything is in place for the grand opening, so you don’t need me for it. You’ll be better off leading the trail rides yourself, until you can find someone else. And I’ll return the money you’ve paid me.”

  She turned and jogged back to the lodge, hurrying in to get her bag so she didn’t run into Jennifer or Michelle. When she got to the truck, with its slashes of writing on the side, she realized this wasn’t hers either. Nothing here was. She had no choice but to take it, though. Chip could pick it up at the house later.

  * * *

  Tegan parked behind the truck, nearly sick with relief to see it, until she realized Alana would probably leave it there and take a cab to the airport. She ran inside, afraid the house would be empty already, but she heard sounds of movement coming from upstairs.

  She went up the stairs and stood in the hallway outside the main bedroom, unable to keep herself from remembering the first time she and Alana had been here together. Now Alana was standing beside the bed and tossing clothes into her suitcase. She didn’t have much to pack.

  Alana hadn’t seemed to have noticed her presence, and when Tegan took a step into the room and the floorboards creaked, she whipped around to face her.

  “You startled me,” Alana said, with one hand pressed to her heart. “Why aren’t you…? How did you…?”

  Tegan answered her half-formed questions. “Chip called. He told me what happened, Alana. He’s worried about you.”

  “Worried? He should hate me. I lied to him.”

  “I thought it was fudging,” Tegan said, hoping to bring out Alana’s playful side. The pale, shaken woman in front of her was almost unrecognizable.

  “Lying.”

  “And now you’re leaving, right before his grand opening. Don’t you think that’s selfish?” Tegan heard an edge of anger in her voice. She was concentrating on the subject of Alana leaving the ranch, unable to face Alana leaving her, too.

  “It would be more selfish to stay. I don’t belong here, especia
lly not out on those trails. I thought I could make myself fit, and I really wanted to, but I was wrong to try.”

  “I’m sorry, Alana,” Tegan said, crossing the room and putting her arms around her. Alana held herself stiffly at first but slowly melted in Tegan’s arms. Not completely, but a little. “I wish I’d been there, but Chip told me how you handled it. I wouldn’t have been able to do better.”

  Alana pulled away at this. “Of course you would have. You’d have done something better than I did, or faster, or sooner.” She sat on the bed. “What would have happened if I hadn’t caught her reins in time?”

  Tegan cautiously sat next to her. “Well, Cotton probably would have run back to the barn. Michelle might have been able to hang on, or she might have fallen off.”

  Alana made a noise somewhere between a sob and a squeak and covered her face with her hands.

  “This is a positive thing, Alana. Not the motorbike part,” Tegan hastily assured her when Alana gave her a disbelieving look. “I know this hit you hard, but it’s important for you to really care about the people you’re leading on trails. That will make you conscientious about preparing for your rides. I’m sure you considered Michelle’s safety and did your best to make the ride a safe one from the start. And you took care of her during and after the incident. Chip said you admirably waited to have your meltdown until Michelle was out of earshot.”

  Tegan smiled, trying to encourage Alana to laugh, but she didn’t. She stood up and looked at Tegan with an expression of resolve that chilled Tegan from her core out to her extremities. She had seen the same fierce determination in Alana as she worked on bettering her riding, not giving up for anything. Now her single-minded tenacity had a new target: leaving.