For months she had searched for the right answer. She had talked to Midnight and Joe about what made them tick, why they loved what they did. Joe had a hard time explaining it, but Midnight had been very succinct. She told Randy she loved what she did because she knew without a doubt she was making a difference in the world she lived in. Midnight had said, “When I die, I know that there will be people left here that will say they were glad I was alive, and that if it wasn’t for me their lives would have never changed.” Randy had seen in Midnight’s face that Midnight felt everything she was saying, and Randy knew then that she had to find her niche, her place to make a difference. She had decided that being a police officer was a good place to start, so she had filled out an application for the San Diego Police Department as a cadet.
Later that night, as they lay in bed, Randy couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer.
“Joe,” she began tentatively.
“What?” Joe asked, his English accent thicker in his drowsy state. He lay on his back with one arm around Randy, the other cushioning his head. He had been half asleep when she spoke. Randy’s head rested against his shoulder, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his bare chest.
“I need to talk to you about something,” she said, trying to keep her tone light.
Joe noted the difference in her voice, and he knew something was up. He had known she had wanted to tell him something their whole vacation, but he had let her take her time in coming out with it. He knew she was still shy about telling him some things, and he didn’t want to push.
“What is it?” he asked patiently when she remained silent.
“Well, I did something kind of impulsive, and, well, I should have talked to you first, but I didn’t, and now…” She trailed off as she shrugged, her motions on his chest a little more agitated.
Joe figured she had bought something expensive, or something like that. He grinned at how paranoid she was. He had never begrudged her a thing, not that she ever bought much with all the money he had. “Okay, so what did you do?” he asked, still grinning. “Should I call in the firing squad?”
“Very funny,” she said, knowing that his mood was about to change. “Well, I, uh… I applied for a job,” she said in a rush.
“Job?” he said, surprised. “You already have a job, or are you trying to tell me that you don’t want to work for me anymore?” His voice still sounded like he was joking; he had no idea what was coming.
“No, it’s not that I don’t want to work for you. It’s just that I need something more, you know, more like a career.”
Joe thought about it for a while, remembering that Randy had spent a lot of time a couple of months back talking to Midnight and to him about their jobs and why they liked them. He knew she had been searching for something for herself, and now he was curious about what she had decided.
“Okay, so where did you apply?” he asked.
Her fingers stopped moving, and she looked up at him. “San Diego Police Department,” she said quietly.
Joe’s brow furrowed. “Babe, I hate to tell you this, but you already work for the San Diego Police Department. I guess it really must be me you don’t want to work for.” He was trying to adjust to what she was saying, and trying to be fair about it. “I guess I could see how working together and living together would become a little monotonous, and maybe it would be good for you to be a secretary for another unit, get a little more experience or something. Maybe you could work for that new unit in narcotics.”
“Joe, I didn’t apply as a secretary,” Randy said, trying to sound confident.
Joe looked at her for a long moment, totally lost now. “Okay, so what then?”
Randy sat up, looking down at him, feeling the need to move out of their cozy embrace to tell him what she had to. “As a cadet,” she said. As the sound of the word “cadet” died in the room, Joe’s face went from confusion to understanding, to something very close to anger as he comprehended what she meant.
“A cop?” he asked, deadpan.
Randy nodded.
Joe’s mind was working now, turning over what she had said before. “You said you already applied?”
“Yes,” Randy answered, as if she were a witness on the stand.
“And you didn’t bother to tell me about it?” Joe said, barely containing his anger.
“No.”
“Why?” His question was so simple, but she didn’t have a simple answer for him. She was quiet for a long time, searching for the words to answer him, trying to decide for herself why she hadn’t told him.
“I guess because I knew you’d try and stop me,” she said finally.
Joe made a sound in the back of his throat, shaking his head. “Damn right I would have.”
“So I didn’t tell you,” Randy stated more confidently.
Joe contemplated her for a moment. He hadn’t realized until then how much Randy had grown up in the last three years. He saw the strong set to her jaw and the new air of confidence she was trying so hard to exude. He did not believe that she had done what she said, and he was pretty sure she was just trying to make him aware of her new independent streak, like a child does with a parent. He realized he was going to have to start treating her a little differently now, let her make some of the decisions he had always assumed responsibility for.
“Look,” he began, trying not to sound condescending, “if you want a little more independence, that’s fine, but I think you went a little far to prove a point, don’t you?”
It was Randy’s turn to stare at him. He didn’t believe her—he really thought she wasn’t serious about becoming a cop. In that moment all of her timidity dropped away.
“I am going to become a cop,” she said.
Again Joe looked at her, trying to gauge how serious she was. She looked pretty sincere, and he could feel his blood pressure rising again. He shook his head, his face a mask of confidence.
“Yes, I am, Joe. You can’t do anything about it,” she said.
“Wanna bet?” Joe’s voice was like stone now, and she recognized the tone he used when he dealt with gang members who got out of line. Her first reaction was to back off, but her ego got the better of her.
“And what is it you think you can do?” she asked cynically.
Joe raised an eyebrow at her, then his lips twisted in a sardonic grin and again he shook his head as if she were a silly child.
“Oh, I can do lots of things,” he said, his emphasis on the word “do.” He shrugged. “But I don’t have to.”
“Why?” Randy said, taking the bait nicely.
Again Joe shrugged as he turned over on his side, facing away from her. “’Cause you’ll never make it through the academy,” he said, speaking to the wall. He looked over his shoulder at her. “That is, if you even make it through the hiring process.”
Randy stared at his back, surprised that he could be so mean. “Oh, I’ll make it through,” she said simply, then got up and left the room.
Joe lay staring at the wall, a knot in his stomach. She probably would make it through both the hiring process and the academy. And yes, there were lots of things he could do to derail this fledgling career of hers, but he knew that if he did, she’d never forgive him, and he didn’t want that. He had hoped that maybe his cold attitude would make her drop the idea; he had hoped that it had just been a passing thought, and maybe it was—maybe she’d change her mind in a week or two. He hoped. The idea of Randy on the street, with all the scum of the earth there to take a shot at her, scared the hell out of him, and he didn’t even want to think about what he’d do if something happened to her.
He had lost his parents so long ago, and yet the pain of that loss felt so fresh, it came back in a rush, and he almost gasped at the strength of the emotion. Joe squeezed his eyes shut against the angry, hurt tears that welled up. He clenched his fists and willed the knot in his stomach to unfurl. He lay there for two hours, feeling somewhere between sick and furious, before he finally fell asl
eep. An hour later, Randy came to bed, crawling in beside him, but for the first time in over three years, not touching him at all.
The next morning, Joe was up and gone before Randy awoke. He headed for the office. He was planning to talk to Midnight, but he realized halfway there that she was supposed to be on vacation, spending time with her in-laws. He figured he’d call her later that day—he needed to talk to her.
****
That morning at the Debenshire breakfast table, Midnight and Rick were obviously in a better mood, albeit very tired. They hadn’t fallen asleep until the wee hours of the morning and had gotten up at their usual time of 7:00 a.m. They were sitting at the kitchen table when Mikeyla wandered in. Being her usual quiet self in the morning, Mikeyla rubbed her eyes sleepily as she proceeded to crawl up onto Rick’s lap. Without a word Rick handed her a piece of the toast he was eating, and Midnight poured her a small glass of orange juice from the pitcher on the table. Their daughter nibbled at the toast and looked around. This was their usual morning ritual, and Midnight realized how good and comfortable it felt to have it. She considered it their quiet time, before the chaos of the day had a chance to invade.
A half hour later, Susan, Liz, and Deborah came into the kitchen.
“Where’s Wilson?” Rick asked, the look in his eyes indicating that he assumed he knew.
“Oh,” Deborah said, sighing. “He had another meeting this morning, but he promises that he’ll be home tonight to take us to the Thelands.”
“Thelands?” Rick said, his eyebrows raised. It was obvious that he knew the name.
“Yes, Richard, the Thelands, and I don’t want to hear it. I’m sure Sheila isn’t living with them still…” Deborah trailed off as she realized Midnight probably didn’t know about Sheila Theland. Midnight confirmed that suspicion in the next moment.
“Who’s Sheila?” she asked, her cat-green eyes going from Deborah to Rick. As she realized Sheila must be an old girlfriend or something, she started to grin and wag her finger at Rick.
“Okay, so? She’s an ex, you figured me out.” Rick was grinning now too.
“Ah,” Midnight said, nodding. “Yet another heart broken by Mr. Debenshire. Was this a bad one? Did she, like, try to set fire to your car or something?” Her grin was wider now.
“Shut up, Night,” Rick said, trying to stifle his smirk.
“Oh no, Midnight,” Deborah said. “Sheila just wanted to marry into the Debenshire family in the worst way, and since Rick was so stubborn she pursued him even harder.” She winked at Rick, her smile wide. “Even tricked you into something once, didn’t she?”
“Shut up, Deborah.” Rick’s voice was low, as if he could make it so Midnight hadn’t heard that part.
“Tricked you into something?” Midnight asked, her eyes belying the innocence in her voice.
Rick was silent for a minute. “Yes,” he said, not looking at Midnight, but giving his sister the evil eye. “You could say that she ‘tricked’ me into something.” His emphasis was on the last word. Midnight knew that meant it was something their daughter and probably neither of Deborah’s daughters should hear. That clue explained it all, and Midnight started laughing.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Rick said, one side of his lips curled sardonically. Finally, stifling her laughter, Midnight got up to offer Deborah and her girls some breakfast. They settled on tea and toast; they were light eaters like Rick.
Midnight took her seat again, which prompted Mikeyla to crawl down from Rick’s lap and crawl into her mother’s. Rick and Midnight exchanged a smile over their daughter’s head. Mikeyla proceeded to put her arms around her mother and lay her little head on her shoulder. Everyone in the room watched, smiling.
“So,” Midnight began, breaking the silence. “What’s on the agenda for you all today?”
“Well,” Deborah said, looking at Rick and her daughters, “to be honest, I’d like to take the day and rest. This time difference is really wearing on me.”
“Okay…” Midnight said, her mind working. She wanted to go into the office, to make sure everything was still running smoothly, but she didn’t want to start an argument with Rick again so soon. Susan saved her.
“Aunt Midnight,” the girl said, her eyes shining with hope, “are you going to work today?”
“Well,” Midnight said, her eyes going to Rick, “I do have a couple of things I could clear up. Why?”
Susan was silent for a moment, her thoughts obviously warring with each other. What’s going on here? Midnight thought. “Well, I just wanted to go with you, to see where you work, you know…”
“You saw where she works yesterday,” Rick said, his voice thankfully void of any anger.
“Well, yes,” Susan began, obviously trying to decide what to say, “but I didn’t really get to see, and if Mum is going to ‘rest,’ well, I just thought…” Again she trailed off, her eyes silently pleading with Midnight. Midnight knew there was something else going on here, and that it was important to Susan.
“Hey, it’s cool. I can just go in for the morning and give Susan a tour, so to speak.” Midnight spoke evenly, loath to ruin the morning but wanting to help Susan any way she could.
Rick looked at Midnight, his lips pursed. She knew he wanted to tell her no, she knew he wanted to argue, but she could see that he didn’t want to start a fight again either—it was too soon. Finally he nodded, and Susan broke into a brilliant smile.
“When will we leave?” Susan asked, a little too excitedly.
“How about in an hour?” Midnight said, looking at her watch.
“I’ll be ready.” Susan promptly excused herself from the table.
Forty-five minutes later, Midnight was standing in front of her vanity mirror, brushing her long copper-blond hair. Rick moved behind her, his hands on her waist, his eyes watching hers in the mirror. He felt the slight tensing of her muscles and knew she was worried that he wanted to fight. His eyes reflected sadness.
“How did we get here?” he said softly.
Midnight watched him. “I don’t know,” she said matter-of-factly. “But we’re here, aren’t we?”
“Midnight…” Rick began mournfully. He turned her to face him, his deep blue eyes searching hers. “I love you so much, sometimes it scares the hell out of me, because I want all of you. I don’t want to share you with work, I don’t want to share you with anyone, not even yourself—but I can’t have that, can I?”
Midnight stared at him for a long time. He had never said this in quite this way before. Finally, she shook her head, slowly, almost sadly. “No, you can’t… but it didn’t use to be this way,” she said quietly.
“Yes, it was,” Rick replied. “I just hid it better then.” His voice held a note of resolve. “I don’t know, Night. I guess it’s because I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I’m always so afraid that we’ll lose it, ya know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Midnight said. “But aren’t we losing it anyway? I mean, aren’t we losing us?” There was no accusal in her question, only sadness. She knew her headstrong ways were partially to blame here too.
“Yeah, maybe, but I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t either, but we’ve got to try. There’s too much here at stake.”
“Yeah.” Rick hugged her close to him, and they just stood that way for a long time. Susan appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, and they moved apart. Midnight moved to grab her jacket off of the wing-backed chair and walked toward the door. Rick stared after her, long after he heard the front door close.
In the car on the way to the office, Susan took note of her aunt’s attire. Midnight wore black leggings, black boots, a sapphire-blue cotton button-up shirt, and her FORS jacket. Susan silently wished for a body like her aunt’s. She thought Midnight was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen and wanted to be just like her. She had always thought her Uncle Rick was handsome and knew that he had always had girlfriends, lots of them. Susan admired Midnight for the simple fact
that she had managed to catch Uncle Rick and make him fall in love with her, but she also admired her for something else. Gathering her courage, she decided to ask her aunt the question she had been longing to.
“Aunt Midnight?” she said tentatively.
“Hmm?” Midnight was still thinking about her and Rick’s exchange.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Even if it’s personal?”
“Okay…” Midnight replied, wondering what Susan was getting at.
“Did you ever, I mean, is it true, um…” Susan hesitated again, and Midnight felt impatience simmering.
“Susan, what is it? What do you want to know?”
“Well, I wondered if it was true, that you and Joe Sinclair were, well, together…” The whole thing came out in a rush, and then Susan looked very embarrassed as Midnight started to grin, shaking her head in disbelief. All this for that? she thought.
“And where did you hear that?” Midnight asked companionably, making Susan relax a little.
“I overheard my aunts and my mum talking about it.”
“I see.” Midnight smiled, remembering the scene at Harrods almost three years ago now, when Rick’s sister Katherine had verbally attacked her about being with Joe.
Where Loyalties Lie (MidKnight Blue Book 3) Page 3