Midnight looked up to see Rick standing in the hallway. He was watching them with the most incredible smile on his face. Midnight had to remind herself firmly that she was at odds with him, when her first reaction was to go to him and kiss him deeply for giving her the chance to feel the way she did about her daughter. If Rick hadn’t gotten her pregnant she wouldn’t have Mikeyla. It was an oversimplified truth, but the truth all the same. As she looked at him now, she could feel her blood pressure soar, her pulse race. His smile lit his face and made her heart pound in her chest.
Rick saw in Midnight, at that moment, the reason he had loved her from the first time he saw her. She looked absolutely radiant as she scooped up their daughter, and Rick couldn’t keep from smiling. He had come to the house hoping to talk to her about the night before, wanting to put into perspective for himself what it had meant. He knew his wife well enough to know she had attempted to do the same. Midnight liked to know the bottom line at all costs.
“Daddy came to see you, Mommy,” Mikeyla said, sounding very happy about the idea. Midnight realized then that Mikeyla was very much aware of what was going on between her parents, even if she didn’t understand the details.
Midnight put Mikeyla down and gestured toward the backyard. Rick followed her out. Midnight sat in one of the wrought-iron chairs on the deck, putting on her sunglasses.
“Don’t,” Rick said softly, indicating the glasses. “I need to see your eyes.”
Midnight looked up at him, surprised that he would make such an unfettered comment, but she put the glasses down on the table in front of her. Rick remained standing, as if he needed to keep moving, to be able to run if he needed to. He stood looking away from her for a few minutes and then, without warning, he turned and stared right into her eyes.
“I need to know,” he said, low and serious, “where we stand.”
“As compared to what?” Midnight replied cynically.
“Night,” Rick began reproachfully, but Midnight held up a hand to stave off his words.
“Okay,” she said, shaking her head. “Only one problem. I don’t know what you’re expecting to hear.”
Rick made an impatient noise in the back of his throat as he narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m not expecting to hear anything. I want to know where you feel we stand, what last night meant.”
Midnight shook her head, grinning sarcastically. “Gee, and I thought we settled that last night.”
“No, we didn’t settle it last night. What we settled was that I wasn’t here when you needed me anymore. What I’m asking is what you want to do about that.”
Midnight stared at him openmouthed. She couldn’t believe what he was saying to her. She couldn’t believe he actually thought that her need for him could overcome any infidelities he may have committed.
When she spoke again, her voice was strident and tired. “If you’re looking for absolution, Rick, go to church. Don’t come to me.”
She stood up, indicating that for all intents and purposes the conversation was over. She started to walk past him, but his hand whipped out and grabbed her arm—thankfully, not her sore one. Without warning, and with more force than she expected, he pulled her to him and kissed her with all the passion of the night before. When the kiss ended, Rick’s eyes were burning into hers.
“Did that feel like a plea for absolution to you?” he asked, his voice as heated as the look in his eyes.
It took Midnight a few moments to find her voice, but when she regained her composure, she pulled her wrist from his grasp. She looked him straight in the eye, and with much more control than she felt, she said, “No, it felt like guilt.” She turned and walked into the house, leaving him standing in the yard, watching her go.
Chapter 8
Randy’s drive home after the talk with Midnight was long. All she could think about was that Joe would be moving out, or doing something equally drastic, when she got home. When she drove up, she saw his car in the garage, in its usual place. Randy knew she was being ridiculous, but she looked inside to make sure there were no boxes or anything to indicate he was leaving. She walked into the house. Everything was quiet. She went down the hallway to their bedroom and saw that Joe was in bed—she knew something was wrong. It was obvious that he was sleeping, so Randy quietly sat on the bed, trying not to disturb him. She touched his cheek, to see if he had a fever. His eyes opened.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.
Joe shook his head. “Nothin’,” he replied. “Just a little bit sore, and a lot too old to stay up half the night.”
Randy looked contrite. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes.
Joe said nothing. He had closed his eyes again and shifted his body, as if trying to get comfortable. That was when Randy noticed the dark bruises on his ribs.
“Joe!” she exclaimed, reaching out to touch the bruises. He jumped a little at her touch and promptly reached out to push her hand away.
“Don’t, okay?” he said irritably.
Randy was surprised by his anger. “I said I was sorry. Jesus!” she said, his rejection making her speak more harshly than she had meant to. “What else do you want from me?”
Joe opened his eyes again. “I didn’t realize that I was asking so much from you,” he said. There was no apology in his tone.
“Well, you are.” Randy knew she was just responding to his anger, and that she really didn’t mean what she was saying. She stood up and left the room.
As she walked into the kitchen the phone rang. She picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Randy?” It was Sarah.
“Hi,” Randy said dejectedly.
“Whoa, who died?”
“Just my marriage,” Randy replied, sighing.
“What’s going on?”
“Joe’s mad about last night.”
“What’s his problem? Hasn’t he ever stayed out late, having a good time with the boys?”
“Not really,” Randy said, thinking about it. “He mostly stays out late when he goes on search warrants, which was why I thought he’d be gone later last night. Of course, I didn’t expect to stay out so late either.”
“We were celebrating!” Sarah said. “Or doesn’t hubby do that either?” It was clear she didn’t think much of Joe’s attitude.
Randy laughed. “Yeah, he does do that.”
“And isn’t he the one with that blonde for a partner?” Sarah asked, her voice indicating her jealousy of Midnight’s looks.
“Yeah,” Randy said slowly. She knew what Sarah was getting at, but wasn’t willing to help her get there.
“So doesn’t it bug you just a little bit, that he can be with her all the time but he expects you to stay home and be good?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Like hell it’s not!” Sarah said knowingly.
“Sarah!”
“Come on, Randy. Didn’t you tell me he’d done the nasty with her a number of times?”
“Yeah, but—”
“But nothin’, babe! Men are pigs, trust me on this. You give that sonofabitch far too much credit. There’s a great phrase that describes the difference between men and women, Randy. ‘Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.’ And believe you me, I’ve been around enough cops to know that that goes double for them!”
“Joe’s not like that,” Randy said, but she didn’t sound so sure. She had always believed Joe was faithful, but Sarah’s words seemed to eat away at that conviction.
“Uh-huh,” Sarah taunted. “That’s what they all say, till they find out the truth. I just don’t want you to be one of those broads who says, ‘I had no idea this could happen to me.’ Believe it, sister, it happens all the time! Besides,” Sarah added in for good measure, “I’ve seen your husband, and let me tell you, he’s got ’em lining up. Don’t be stupid.”
Randy was quiet, thinking about her conversation with Midnight that afternoon, wondering what had prompted Midnight to be so candid
about her feelings for Joe and remembering her own thoughts on the depth of their feelings for each other. And now Rick and Midnight were splitting up, and Joe was always the first person Midnight called…
Doubt can be an insidious emotion when paired with uncertainty. Randy spent the rest of the evening wrestling with her thoughts. Many times she tried to tell herself that nothing was going on between Joe and Midnight, and that she was just being crazy. But then she wondered how Midnight could be so casual about a divorce if she didn’t already have something else going on. Randy couldn’t imagine anyone else Midnight could be involved with than Joe. Hadn’t Midnight basically told her that she should go to the academy no matter what Joe said? Maybe she was trying to assure a break up between Joe and her, so that she and Joe could be together. And maybe Joe’s current attitude wasn’t all about Randy.
By the time Joe got up later that evening, Randy was in a real state of insecurity. She was sitting on the couch, and looked up when Joe walked into the room.
“What’s going on with Midnight?” she asked, the question tumbling from her mouth before she could stop it.
“Got me,” Joe responded, not sure what she was talking about and wondering if Midnight had called while he slept. He walked over to his jacket, which was lying on the back of an armchair, and pulled out his cell phone. He checked for a message from Midnight. There was nothing.
Randy had watched him as he did this, and when he looked up and asked if Midnight had called, she was sure she saw something guilty in his face.
“No, she didn’t call, but maybe you should run right over there and check on her,” she retorted.
Joe looked at her as if she’d gone crazy. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?” he asked, to Randy’s ears sounding every bit like the guilty, cheating husband Sarah had described.
“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with me, other than being a naive kid for too long.” Randy stood up.
Joe was taken aback by her vehemence, and totally at a loss for a reply. He began to wonder if she’d been drinking—which she had, but not in the quantities Joe was imagining. “I think maybe you need to chill out a little bit, love. You’re headin’ for a nasty backlash.”
In her current state, Randy mistook his words for a threat—that he was telling her not to challenge him or he’d divorce her. She swallowed against the knot that rose in her throat. “Watch me,” she said, and left the room.
Joe stood motionless, totally baffled at what had just occurred, not sure what Randy was doing. He all but fell over when she came back out of the hallway with a small suitcase, walked past him, and opened the front door. “I’ll get the rest of my stuff later,” she said, and walked out.
Joe stared openmouthed at the door after it had closed. He wasn’t sure if he should go after her, but remembered that she had been drinking and all but ran out of the house. He caught up to her as she was getting in her car.
“Randy, hold up!” he shouted.
“Just leave me alone, Joe,” Randy said, trying to hold back her angry, hurt tears. “You’re getting what you want, isn’t that good enough for you?” With that she slammed the door and started the engine with a roar. The tires squealed as she slammed the car into reverse and pushed hard on the gas. The last thing she saw was Joe standing in the open doorway to the garage, watching her, shaking his head.
Randy pulled up at Sarah’s apartment building half an hour later. She walked up the stairs and rang the doorbell. To Randy’s surprise, a man answered. He looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, and he had a stocky build with muscular shoulders. He smiled at Randy, his brown eyes warm and friendly.
“Can I help you?” he asked, his voice not as deep as she had expected, judging from his build.
“Yes.” Randy wondered belatedly if she had gotten the wrong apartment. “I’m looking for Sarah.”
“Randy?” Sarah’s voice came from behind the man. “Dick, move!”
The man laughed and moved out of the way.
Sarah smiled at Randy. “What’re you doing here?” she asked as she opened the screen door and motioned her inside.
Randy looked at her friend sheepishly. “Well, I kinda left,” she said.
“Left?” Sarah echoed, then understanding dawned on her. “You mean you left Joe?” she said, clearly surprised.
“Well, I thought about what you said, and then he was asking if Midnight had called, and well, I just got mad and left.” Randy shrugged, still a little surprised at herself.
“See,” Sarah said, wagging her finger at Randy. “Didn’t I tell ya!”
“You giving advice again?” Dick said, elbowing Sarah.
“Oh, shut up!” Sarah said, laughing. “Oh! Randy.” She looked embarrassed. “This is Dick, my big brother. Dick, this is my friend and soon to be fellow academy classmate, Randy.”
Dick smiled at Randy, extending his hand to her. She took it and returned the smile.
“So,” Dick said, gesturing for Randy to take a seat. “Do I understand this correctly—you actually left Joe Sinclair?”
Randy was shocked, wondering how Dick knew her last name. She also wondered why he had asked the question the way he had, as if he knew Joe. “I’m sorry…” she began, looking at Sarah.
“Oh, Randy, Dick’s SDPD too, remember. He knows Joe,” Sarah supplied.
“Oh,” Randy said. “That’s right, I remember you telling me that you had a brother on the force. I just thought…” She trailed off again before she could put her foot in her mouth about his obvious age. Sarah was only twenty-five.
Sarah laughed, catching Randy’s train of thought. “Yes, I am definitely the baby!” She poked her brother in the ribs. “Dick’s an ancient forty-one years old!”
“Hey!” Dick said, pretending to be offended.
“Dick’s a sergeant with vice,” Sarah told Randy.
“Sarah tells me that you two are going to the academy,” Dick said.
“Yes.” Randy grimaced. “That seems to be part of the problem.”
“So Sinclair doesn’t want you to be a cop?” Dick looked surprised.
Randy shook her head.
“Hmm.” Dick still seemed perplexed.
“What?” Randy asked, bolder than she would normally have been with a man she didn’t know.
“If it were me,” Dick said, “I’d want my wife to be a cop too. That way she’d understand the ins and outs better. What’s Sinclair’s beef?”
Randy hesitated, not sure she should discuss Joe’s personal tragedies with a total stranger. But he was Sarah’s brother, after all. “Well, Joe’s kind of overprotective of me, probably because of his parents.”
“His parents?” Dick echoed disbelievingly. “What’s his parents got to do with you? I mean, were they twisted or something?” His voice had taken on a derisive tone. “From what I heard they were filthy rich and left all that money to him.” He looked at Sarah and said melodramatically, “I heard that Scotland Yard even investigated old money bags himself, thinking that he killed them off.” He and Sarah laughed, and Randy found herself joining in, even though she really didn’t find the information funny. She knew all about what had happened to Joe’s parents, and how deeply it had affected him, but she didn’t feel that she should try to defend him at this point. It was obvious that Dick Dickerson had his own opinions of Joe, and she didn’t want to be rude to someone she had just met. He was, after all, Sarah’s brother.
****
The next day, Midnight was shocked to find Randy’s letter of resignation on her desk. It stated that she was resigning effective immediately. Midnight went to speak to Joe about it, and as soon as she saw him, she knew something major had happened. She walked into his office and shut the door quietly. Joe looked up as he heard it click. Midnight noted that he looked like hell. His blue eyes were bloodshot, and it was obvious he was hungover.
“If it was that bad, why didn’t you stay home?” Midnight said, with just enough humor to let him know she was waiting for hi
m to tell her what had happened. Midnight held up Randy’s letter. “Does this have anything to do with your mood?”
Joe looked at her blankly, not able to fathom what that piece of paper could have to do with Randy leaving.
“Obviously not,” Midnight answered for herself. She looked at him for a moment, gauging what she should tell him. Finally she said, “This is Randy’s letter of resignation.” She paused. “It’s official as of today. Want to explain that to me?”
Joe shook his head slowly, as if trying to catch up. He had no idea that Randy had resigned. “I don’t have the faintest notion,” he said eventually.
“Great, that’s a big help. What did you do this time?” she said, still humorously. All joking went out the window when Joe looked at her—his eyes were deathly serious.
“Night, she left.” The words fell like lead weights. Midnight just stared at Joe, shocked into silence. Joe stood up, his anger and confusion driving him to his feet. He strode over to the far wall, then turned around to look at his partner of close to ten years. All he could ask was, “Why?”
The question hung heavily, but Midnight couldn’t think of anything to say. She knew what Randy’s leaving meant—she knew that Randy had made her decision—but she didn’t understand why Randy hadn’t waited to see what Joe would do. Then again, maybe she had. “Joe,” she began, choosing her words carefully—she knew he was already hurting, and she didn’t want to add to that. “What happened before she left? What did she say?”
Joe shook his head as he replayed their last conversation in his mind. He’d spent the whole night drinking and doing the exact same thing. He still hadn’t come up with an answer. “I was sleeping when she got home. She came in and we had a few words, but nothing major.” He paused, thinking. “When I got up a few hours later, she jumped on me about what was going on with you. I asked if you had called—I thought maybe you’d had another run in with Rick or something. She got real pissed about that… For the life of me, I don’t know why. I figured she’d been drinking—she looked it—so I warned her about the monster hangover she was headed for. She jumped up, got some of her things, and left.” He was shaking his head again, as if denying to himself that she’d actually gone would make it less real. “That’s it.”
Where Loyalties Lie (MidKnight Blue Book 3) Page 15