Hunting Truth (Orion the Hunter Part Four)

by J. D. Chase

  I swallowed with difficulty and looked again at his impassive expression. I didn’t feel unsafe. Is that just my memories fooling me? Memories of being safe and protected in his arms. Memories of trusting him whilst I was blindfolded and restrained as he was doing unimaginable things to my body. Surely if he was a danger to me, I’d have found out for myself during those times when I’d been at his mercy.

  “I miss you so much,” he whispered, taking a step towards me.

  I instinctively took a step back and found my back was against the wall. I saw the hurt in his eyes and, just for a second, I saw the broken man that Daniel had mentioned. But then the impassive mask slid back into place.

  “Issy, you have nothing to fear from me. I’d never hurt you. I don’t know exactly what my bastard of a brother said to you, but I can assure you that it isn’t the whole truth. Yes, I changed my name but I had very good reasons for doing so. Reasons that involved him and his cruel games that have plagued me since we were children. I should’ve been honest with you from the start and told you everything, I know that now. But, probably for similar reasons that you had for not telling me everything about your past, I didn’t.”

  I couldn’t argue with him there. I’d not been forthcoming about my past either. I nodded my head to acknowledge his words, not daring to attempt to speak again.

  “Issy, all I ask of you is to hear me out. I’ll tell you everything as honestly as I can. After that, if you want to walk away then I won’t try to stop you. It’ll hurt like hell, but I won’t stop you. And if you don’t want to do it here and now, we can meet whenever and wherever you say. You can even bring Angel with you if you’d feel safer not being alone with me.”

  He looked so desperate and so earnest that I had no doubt he thought what he had to say could somehow change things between us. I was intrigued but I’d vowed to myself to have nothing more to do with him, to protect my heart if nothing else. Then I thought that perhaps if I heard him out it would help to answer my unanswered questions and I’d lose the ache in my chest every time I thought of him. That I’d be able to walk away with that closure.

  I still couldn’t speak so I just nodded. The relief that washed over him was almost tangible. His shoulders sagged and his whole frame relaxed. He blew out a long breath and raked his hand through his hair. “Thank fuck for that, Issy. Oh thank you. I just need you to listen and then make an informed choice about me. About what I did.”

  I felt myself relaxing a little. He didn’t look dangerous at all. He just looked like the Lucas that I knew and loved. Had loved. No—still loved. The realization wasn’t comforting but I obviously just needed his explanation to get the closure I needed.

  “Okay,” I managed to say. “Let’s do it now.”

  “Really? Oh, come to the office with me,” he said in surprise.

  I followed him down the corridor to the little office and sat down opposite the desk.

  “Do you mind if I close the door? I’d rather nobody overheard my most private thoughts and memories but if you’re uncomfortable . . .” he said with his hand on the door handle.

  “No, it’s fine. Close it.”

  He closed the door and sat behind the desk. He put his elbows on the desktop and took his head in his hands. “I don’t quite know where to start,” he muttered into his hands.

  I knew what I wanted to know but I couldn’t bring myself to blurt out ‘tell me how and why you killed your mother’ so I kept quiet. He raised his head after a few moments. “Okay, I’ll just talk. If there’s anything you want to ask, just interrupt me. Okay?”

  I nodded and tried to sit back in the chair, but my muscles were so tight that I stayed perched on the edge.

  “Well, that horrible individual you met was my brother. Joel is older than me by seven years and was the apple of my father’s eye. By all accounts my parents were very happy. They were fairly wealthy. My father started up a company that specialized in leasing commercial property. He would buy run-down properties, renovate them and then lease them. He dabbled a little with residential property if there was good money to be made but he mainly handled commercial properties.

  “He met my mother when they were in their mid-thirties. She was a former ballet dancer and had travelled internationally until she retired from dancing. From what I know, they had a very happy marriage. They settled in Seattle, had Joel and life was perfect for six years. Then my mother found that she was pregnant with me at the ripe old age of forty four. I’m told that the risks of taking a pregnancy to full term were explained to her but she refused to terminate the pregnancy. My father was only interested in her wellbeing and urged her to terminate but she held fast.

  “The pregnancy was fraught with complications. She spent half of the pregnancy confined to bed rest. A nanny was appointed to look after my brother. They already had a maid to do household chores but they appointed someone to cook for them too. Anything to enable my mother to rest and the household to function smoothly. Anyway, she went into labor unexpectedly just before she was full term. The placenta had detached and she hemorrhaged badly. She was rushed to hospital where an emergency caesarean was carried out.

  “I was saved although I was very ill and had to receive specialist care. My mother didn’t survive the surgery. She’d lost too much blood and her body went into shock. She died not long after I was delivered. That’s how I killed her. I can show you her death certificate.”

  His voice was thick with emotion as he spoke and I could see he was fighting back tears. His words pierced my heart and suddenly, without thinking, I shot up out of my chair and dashed around the desk. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into my body. I stood there, stroking his hair when his tears finally broke through the dam. Massive sobs wracked his frame and he clung to me until there were no more tears. I felt like a complete bitch but that was nothing compared to the hatred I felt for his brother at that moment.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Are you okay?” I whispered when his sobs ceased.

  He pulled me onto his lap and embraced me with those big, strong arms. “I am now.”

  We sat in silence for a while before he continued, “So you see, technically my dear brother was correct. I did kill our mother.”

  “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Circumstance killed your mother. How can an innocent baby be blamed if their mother dies in childbirth? That’s madness.”

  He gave a bitter laugh. “Tell that to Joel. He and my father blamed me from that moment on. My father was keen to give me away for adoption but the nanny persuaded him to keep me. From what I’ve heard she emotionally blackmailed him with the scandal that would ensue if word got out. He agreed to keep me but he never came to see me. He never laid eyes on me from the day I was born to the day he died.”

  “Oh my God, Lucas, that’s terrible. I appreciate that he must’ve been distraught to lose your mother but to punish you for years . . . your brother told me that he pined to death after your mother’s death and pinned that on you too.”

  “I guess there’s some truth in it. My father began to drink heavily after my mother’s death. He died from conditions arising from his alcohol dependency. So if it was my fault that she died, then it follows that it was my fault that he died.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Neither of their deaths were your fault. And it’s so sad. I was deprived of my parents from a young age when they died. You technically still had one of your parents as you were growing up but they chose to deprive you of parental love and affection. I’m sorry, I know he was your father but that is unforgivably cruel.”

  He sighed. “You don’t know the half of it. Once I reached kindergarten age, I was sent off to a boarding school over a hundred miles away. I wasn’t allowed home for the holidays, except at Christmas, and then I was locked in my room and only saw the maid when she brought me my meals.”

  I hugged him tighter still. I couldn’t comprehend what I was hearing. I knew that I’d been emotionally and physically abused by my aunt but this se
emed so much worse. It had to be worse when it was one of your parents who emotionally abused and neglected you. Suddenly, Lucas’ antisocial behavior made sense. For one thing, he’d never been socialized as a young child and for another, he’d suffered emotional abuse. My heart swelled for him. It was a wonder that he hadn’t gone off the rails completely as an older child. Then I remembered that his brother had showed me his juvenile criminal record. I asked him to continue with his life story.

  “I was quite a sullen child—” he began.

  “I wonder why!” I exclaimed.

  He smiled and squeezed me. “I was incredibly unhappy and withdrawn. I was bullied constantly at school, especially as I got older. The school found out and told my father. They kicked out the worst offenders but my father left me there. Other bullies stepped up to take their place and it just got worse. I decided to fight back by spending every spare moment in the gym. Over the years, I got very fit and very strong. One day when I was fourteen, I decided to fight back when a load of them jumped me on my way back to my dorm. All of the anger that I’d kept bottled up came out and I hurt them. I hurt one of them badly. He’d made my life a living hell and, in a moment of pure rage, I laid into him until my frustration and anger was gone. I was told that I’d be kicked out immediately but they couldn’t get a hold of my father. Then the ringleader’s parents decided to take further action. So I ended up in juvenile prison. I fully deserved it and I learned from it.

  “In juvie, I took up boxing and karate. Both taught me the self-control and discipline that I’d been lacking. It was also at that time that I found out my father had died and nobody had told me. My legal guardian was now Joel, who hated me more than my father. He’d inherited everything. I wasn’t included in the will. During that year, I learned that it was Joel who’d insisted I was sent to juvie when he could have agreed to make other arrangements for me—the judge had taken sympathy on my situation after the school wrote a report detailing the bullying I’d suffered. He also arranged to have me transferred upon my release to a school where abuse from staff and older kids was rife. It was hell. I soon ran away and severed my ties with him forever. Or so I thought.”

  “So you left school at fifteen? What did you do? Where did you go?” I couldn’t believe it.

  “I was lucky that I looked older. My muscular physique helped. I got casual work that paid in cash on construction sites, mostly laboring. I slept rough most of the time. But then I heard about organized fighting. Some of the guys would bet on these illegal fights. Bare knuckle brawling it was. It was suggested that I would make good money. And I did. I was good at it. My size, strength, fitness and discipline were a winning combination. I made a lot of money in a short space of time.”

  I was horrified. I simply couldn’t imagine Lucas fighting illegally for money. “So you never finished school?”

  “Nope. I saved up my money and was lucky enough to get some inside information on a development that was planned for some wasteland. I used my savings to buy some of the land cheap and then made a killing when the developers wanted it. My price was very high. From then on, I bought properties and land when I could and resold when I needed the capital. So that’s how I got started. That and a lot of luck got me to where I am today.”

  I shook my head in awe. “Lucas, that is amazing. Despite all the odds, despite all that life could and did throw at you, you made a success of yourself. More of a success than most people who are handed life on a plate.”

  “Like my brother, you mean. He’d almost run my father’s company into the ground on several occasions. He has no business acumen and no respect. It didn’t take much to finish him off really.”

  I cocked my head to one side. “Finish him off?” And then the penny dropped. “He’s the one that you wanted to exact revenge on! I’m right, aren’t I?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Although after his recent actions, I’ve regretted it greatly. If I could turn the clock back, I would leave well alone. Nothing is worth losing you for, Issy. No matter what he’s done. He’s nothing to me. You are everything. My life. It was a childish vendetta and I should’ve known better.”

  He pulled me into him and I allowed him to tilt my chin and kiss me. Softly. Chastely. But a kiss that rocked me to my core. In that tiny kiss, I knew how much I wanted this man. How much I needed him. How much I loved him. I snuggled into his chest and nuzzled my face into his neck.

  “Why were you so hell bent on revenge? I don’t understand why you bothered if Joel was ruining his company all by himself and yours was flying high. I thought you were better than that, Lucas.”

  He gave a heavy sigh. “I wish I was. But in my defense, I had significant provocation. When Joel heard that I’d started up in the business, albeit in a different state, he did his best to ruin it. He spied, lied and bribed his way into any deals that I was involved with and used our father’s reputation to make my life a misery. That’s why I changed my name and came to New York. It’s easier to get lost in the crowd here and there’s good money to be made if you know what you’re doing. He almost ruined me twice before I cut my losses and reincarnated as Lucas Hunter.”

  I began to better understand his need for revenge and I knew that my theory about why he’d chosen his new surname, which had come to me in the restaurant the day Angel had come home, was right. I thought I’d check anyway. “Lucas? Did you choose the names Hunter and Orion out of motivation for revenge on your brother?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, and the nanny that I had when I was a youngster told me that my mother wanted to call me Lucas, not Luke. She didn’t like the sound of Luke. My father changed it when he registered my birth. Apparently, he said I wasn’t worthy of the name she’d chosen after I’d killed her. I overheard the maid talking one day. My father even refused to allow my name to be included on her gravestone. It states beloved mother of Joel but no mention of me. Perhaps that’s fair, seeing as she didn’t actually get to meet me.”

  I squeezed him tight. This man was more emotionally fucked up than I was and yet, bar his need for revenge, he was doing brilliantly in life. Even his need for revenge was understandable, given the circumstances. He was an inspiration really and I felt so badly for walking out on him. For not trusting him or at least giving him a chance to explain. I’d been so pissed at Angel for running away and not trusting me or Chad or at least hanging around to find out the truth, yet I’d done the same. I thought back to Daniel’s words about him being broken. I wondered what had reversed his emotional decline but I couldn’t ask him without betraying Daniel. Thinking about Angel made me realize that she’d be worried. I’d only gone to the bathroom and that was ages ago.

  I told Lucas that I needed to get back to Angel before she worried. He asked if he could join us. I was surprised but I agreed without hesitation. As we stood, he rested his arm along my shoulders. It felt good. I turned to face him and stood on my tiptoes. “I’m so glad you came here tonight. I’m so sorry. I should have trusted you more. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I truly am sorry, Lucas. For everything.” I kissed him on the cheek.

  He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me against him. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. “Issy, does that mean you might consider forgiving me?”

  I hugged him as tightly as I could. “Lucas, there’s nothing to forgive. I’m the one who should beg for forgiveness.”

  “No, Issy. You should beg for nothing.”

  I pulled back and looked him in the eye, raising an eyebrow playfully. “Nothing?”

  He chucked delightedly. “Well, yeah. If you’ll take me back, I fully intend for you to beg for some things.” Then he looked at me with tenderness. “Will you consider taking me back, Issy?”

  I kissed him passionately. I think he figured out my answer, but when I tried to pull away he held me in his arms as if he couldn’t bring himself to let me go. I relaxed back into his arms and after a few seconds he spoke.

  “I’m not experienced in the art of romantic gestures
and I’m useless at expressing myself . . . but I have to tell you what you mean to me. I thought I had a pretty good idea until you left me but then I realized that I hadn’t a clue. When you walked away, I was broken. I thought I’d lost you forever, that there was no way you’d understand or give me a second chance. That I’d be alone for good.”

  “Oh, you wouldn’t have been. You’re a very special man, Lucas Hunter. You deserve to be loved. To be happy. You’d have been snapped up by some lucky lady,” I whispered, desperately hoping that I’d be the one to make him happy for a very long time. Perhaps even forever. Wow! Where did that come from? And I’m not even freaked out by that revelation. Oh God, I’ve got it bad.

  I was shaken from my thoughts by Lucas roughly holding me at arms’ length and looking into my eyes . . . his irises were liquid black. “The fuck I would! You don’t get it, do you? I could never want anyone as much as I want you. Need you. I want you to be mine. Totally and irrevocably mine. I want to leave my fingerprints on every inch of your body. I want to invade your every waking thought and all of your dreams. I want to hold you in my arms and have you melt into me. To have your heart and soul branded with the very essence of me, as you’ve branded mine. You make me feel alive. For too goddamn long, I’ve merely existed. Now I want to live. Because of you.”

  For someone who was no good at expressing himself emotionally, he’d done a damn good job of taking my breath away. His words had awoken something unfamiliar inside me. I’d heard the expression ‘my heart swelled’ but I’d never experienced anything like it . . . until that moment. It literally felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest. And the only scary thing was that I wasn’t scared at all. My own feelings echoed his. I didn’t want to live my life without this man.

  I slipped from his grasp and hugged him to me. “Oh Lucas, that sounds perfect. Simply perfect.”