He rolled his eyes. ‘OK,’ he said, his voice ultrasoft so Josh wouldn’t hear. ‘I. Need. To. Keep. My. Hands. Off. You. And. If. You. Touch. Me. That. Will. Not. Help!’
And without waiting for her to make some sassy reply, he cupped her shoulders in his hands, moved her out of his way and forced himself to walk away from temptation.
* * *
Georgie closed her eyes and blew out her breath slowly.
What an idiot she was! Of course he didn’t want her touching him! It was hard enough as it was. Throw any more fuel on the fire between them and it would rage out of control like a bushfire. And neither of them needed that.
Yes...!
No! No, no, no, no, NO!
She poured a coffee for him, told Josh she would only be a moment and followed him to his study, her heart pounding.
She knew he was there because the music was on and she could hear it from the kitchen doorway. She tapped, pushed the door open and went in, leaving the door open for safety.
‘Coffee,’ she said, setting it down on the mat on his desk, and he turned his head and looked up at her.
‘George—I’m sorry. It’s just...’
‘I know. It’s my fault. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll see you later for lunch. Half an hour OK?’
He nodded. ‘That would be great. Thanks.’
She took herself back to the kitchen, poured a coffee for herself and took Josh back into the little sitting room to play with the train set for a few minutes. It was nearer to Sebastian, but they weren’t making a lot of noise and she didn’t think they’d disturb him, especially not over the music.
But then the door opened and he came in, cup in hand, and joined them.
Why?
Because he couldn’t stay away?
‘I’ve just spoken to the local farmer. He’s going to clear the lane. He’ll make a start today, but it might be tomorrow before he gets to the gate.’
‘Oh. Right.’ She forced a smile. ‘Well, that’s good to know. I’ll tell my mother to expect us.’
‘So—shall I get lunch?’
‘Goose sandwiches?’ she teased, but he shook his head.
‘We had sandwiches for breakfast and for supper. It might be time for something more imaginative. We have a whole groaning larder to choose from.’
They did.
She made a winter salad tossed in a honey and mustard dressing to go with the goose which he shredded and crisped in the oven, and Josh had a little of it with some pasta and pesto and a handful of cherry tomatoes.
‘That was nice and healthy,’ she said, and he laughed and got out the Christmas cake.
‘It was. And I’m starving. You can be too healthy. Want cheese with it?’
‘Mmm. And tea.’
She cubed some cheese for Josh, gave him a sliver of the cake without icing and then cut them both a chunk.
Sebastian was munching his way through a slab the size of his hand when he glanced up and frowned.
‘It’s raining!’
‘What?’
She turned and looked out of the window.
Rain. Only light rain, but rain, not snow. And that meant a sudden thaw.
‘It could flood tomorrow,’ she said.
‘It could, if it keeps on. In the meantime, I guess my activities on the drive are over.’
‘Well, it won’t be necessary anyway if it’s going to rain hard. It’s a pity, though. I was hoping I could take Josh outside again for a bit more running around.’
Sebastian shrugged. ‘There’s plenty of room in the house. He can run around in here, can’t you, Josh?’
‘Well, that’s true,’ she said. ‘If he just tears up and down the hall he’ll wear himself out in half an hour.’
‘Play hide and seek?’ Josh said hopefully, and Sebastian smiled indulgently at him.
‘Sure. Heaven knows there are plenty of places to hide,’ he said drily, his eyes flicking up to Georgie’s.
There were. More than enough. And she’d hidden in all of them, and he’d found her.
And kissed her.
She looked hastily away.
‘I think we could stick to the ground floor.’
‘Or the attic?’
‘The attic? Have you done anything with it?’
‘Not much. It’s been cleaned out and repaired when the roof was sorted, but it’s pretty much as it was. I thought the house was big enough for me with just two floors.’
‘What’s a tick?’ Josh asked, looking puzzled, and Georgie suppressed a smile.
‘Not a tick, an attic. It’s—well, we’ll show you, shall we? It’s just the very, very, very upstairs.’
‘Oh.’
Sebastian chuckled softly. ‘I can hear the cogs turning.’
‘Oh, yeah. Watching him learn is amazing. Let’s go and show him.’
* * *
He opened the door at the top of the stairs, and Georgie followed him and looked around, her eyes wide.
‘Gosh. It looks enormous now you can see it all. It used to be full of cobwebs and birds’ nests and clutter.’
‘It was—especially the clutter. We lost count of the number of skips it took to take it all away.’
‘Was there anything interesting?’
‘There was, but most of the stuff was damaged because the birds had got in. I’ve got some of the things that were rescued downstairs, but most of it was beyond saving. And there was a lot of rubbish. You know what people are like. They put stuff away and leave it “just in case”, and then forget it.’
She walked slowly through the rooms, Josh’s hand firmly in hers, and checked that it was safe. It was. There was nothing that could harm him, and so she let go of his hand.
‘Right. Are we going to play hide and seek?’
‘Yay! Hide and seek! Yay!’
Josh was bouncing on the spot, and she put her hands over her eyes and peeped through her fingers.
‘You peeping!’ he said, and she laughed.
‘I’m going to count. Josh, Sebastian, go and hide!’
He grabbed Josh by the hand and grinned. ‘Come on. I know a good place.’
He did. It was under the eaves, behind the chimney, and he pulled Josh in there and held him close.
‘Ready or not, here I come!’
He could hear her footsteps coming, and Josh started to giggle.
‘Shh,’ he whispered. ‘Don’t make a sound.’
He could hear her footsteps coming, going into another room, then coming closer, closer...
Like the walls, closing in on him, the small boy leaning on his leg, a voice saying ‘Shh,’ the sound almost inaudible in the silence.
Silence broken only by the sound of footsteps...
A sudden wave of panic came out of nowhere, and he tried to swallow it, but it wouldn’t subside, and with a sudden rush he straightened and burst out of the tight space and into the light.
‘Sebastian?’
She was right there, staring at him curiously, her mouth moving, but he could hardly hear her through the pounding of his heart. It was running like an express train, deafening him, and he made some vague excuse about having something to do and walked swiftly away on legs like overcooked spaghetti.
* * *
Georgia stared after him.
Busy? It was Boxing Day, all businesses except retail outlets were closed.
No. It was just an excuse not to be with her an
d Josh. Maybe he felt she was just sucking him in again?
But it had seemed like more than that. Much more. There had been something in his eyes...
No matter. He’d left, claiming pressure of work, and so she left him to it and played with Josh for a while, hiding in easy to find places, making enough noise to give him a clue, and they giggled and hugged and had fun.
And all the time, in the back of her mind, was Sebastian. And she was troubled, for some reason.
‘Right, that’s enough of hide and seek. It’s very dirty up here. Shall we go and play with your train again?’
‘Bastian play with me?’
‘No, darling, he’s busy, but I will. Of course I will.’
But first, she had to find Sebastian. She sorted Josh out, settled him down with the train set and went to find him.
He was in the study, of course, doing something on his computer, and he glanced up at her and carried on.
‘OK, what’s going on?’
‘Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just busy.’
‘No, you aren’t. Sebastian, talk to me. What’s the matter? What happened back there?’
‘Nothing. I just don’t like being shut in. You know that. It’s why I never go in a lift.’
‘I know, but—’
‘But nothing. It’s fine.’
‘It’s not fine. You ought to see someone about that,’ she told him softly. ‘They can do things about claustrophobia.’
‘I take the stairs. It’s good for me.’
‘But—’
‘Georgia, leave it.’
Georgia. Not George, not Georgie.
She hesitated a moment, then gave a defeated little shrug and walked away. He was shutting her out again, shutting her out as he always did.
Well, she was tired of fighting him. With any luck the rain which she’d heard gurgling in the gutters was washing away the snow on the roads, and first thing in the morning, as soon as the lane was clear, she was off, because she just couldn’t do this any more.
* * *
He didn’t appear again that day. She cooked supper for Josh, then took him up and bathed him and put him to bed, and when she came down she could see that Sebastian had helped himself to something.
A goose sandwich, ironically, she thought from the evidence left scattered about on the worktop. And carefully timed for when she was out of the way.
She shrugged. Oh, well, if he didn’t want her company, she wasn’t going to force it on him. And even though she didn’t really need another sandwich, she made herself one and ate it at the table. Just in case he was in the little sitting room.
He wasn’t.
She realised that after she’d finished her sandwich and cleared up the kitchen. She’d made a cup of tea, and picking up the baby monitor she went out into the hall. It was dimly lit, and she could see light coming under the study door, but the door to the little sitting room was open and it was dark inside.
Fair enough. She’d sit in there, watch the television and start packing up Josh’s toys.
Once the lane was cleared, she didn’t want to be here a minute longer than necessary. They’d clearly outstayed their welcome, and she felt emotionally exhausted.
So exhausted, in fact, that she went up to bed as soon as she’d dismantled the little train set. Josh didn’t stir when she went in, and she turned off the monitor, put it down on the bedside table and got ready for bed in the bathroom.
She would have liked to read, but her book was in the car and anyway she doubted she’d be able to concentrate. She lay down, closed her eyes and tried not to think about him, but it was impossible.
Her mind was full of images—him playing in the snow with Josh, shovelling snow, laughing at her as she fell on her face, kissing her under the mistletoe—and coming out from behind the chimney in the attic as if the hounds of hell were after him. He’d always been claustrophobic, but it had looked like more than that.
No. He’d never liked being shut in. He never went in lifts, as he’d reminded her, and he’d never hidden anywhere cramped when they’d been playing hide and seek.
He’d been rubbish at hiding. Good at finding, but rubbish at hiding. And he’d been hiding with Josh, in behind the chimney. It was tight in there, tight and dark, and although she’d never been afraid of it, she could see why he might have been.
Well, it had been his idea to go in the attic, and a bit of claustrophobia wasn’t going to have kept him holed up in his study for the rest of the day.
No, he was sick of them being there, interrupting his routine, cluttering up his house and his life and just generally taking over. Well, just a few more hours and she’d be gone. She’d looked out of the bathroom window and the snow was patchy already. By the morning, it would be clear and she could get away.
And she wouldn’t need to see him again.
* * *
The noise woke her.
Not a scream, more of a muffled shout, a cry of pain.
Sebastian.
She grabbed the baby monitor and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind her. His door was never completely closed, but as she opened it further she could hear him breathing fast, muttering in his sleep, wordless sounds of distress.
The dream again. ‘Sebastian?’
She switched on the bedside light and reached for him, shaking his shoulder gently.
‘Sebastian? Wake up. It’s a dream. It’s just a dream.’
His eyes flew open and locked on hers, and then he turned away, throwing his arm up over his eyes, his chest heaving.
He looked awful. His face was ashen, his eyes wary, and he was breathing hard, as if he’d been running, and it shocked her.
‘Sebastian?’
She reached out a hand and touched him tentatively, and he dropped his arm and dragged a hand down over his face.
‘I’m all right. I didn’t mean to disturb you. Go back to bed.’
‘You had the dream again, didn’t you?’
He swallowed hard.
‘I’m fine.’
‘No, you’re not. Do you want a cup of tea?’
He shook his head. ‘No. You need to be with Josh.’
But he was shaking all over, his skin grey, and she turned on the baby monitor and put it on the bedside cabinet, then got into bed beside him and pulled him into her arms.
‘It’s OK,’ she said, murmuring to him as she would to Josh. ‘It’s OK. I’ve got you.’
He shuddered, and then slumped his head against her shoulder, letting the tension out of his body in a rush. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I wish you’d talk to me.’
‘No. I don’t want to talk about it.’
But he needed her, and she was there, just there, in his bed, in his arms, and he gave up fighting. His hand came up and cradled her face, his fingers still shaking, and then his mouth was on hers, her body under his, her hands running over him as she made desperate little pleading noises.
He lifted his head and she followed him, her mouth searching for his, her lips clinging, and he followed her back down to the pillow and let go of the last shred of his self-control.
CHAPTER NINE
WHEN HE WOKE in the morning, he was alone.
Had he dreamed it?
Dreamed it all, not just the dream—hell, he hadn’t had it for ages, but last night—and then afterwards...
Had she come to him?
No.
; Or had she? It had seemed so real...
He rolled his face into the pillow and breathed in, and the faint, lingering scent of her perfume dragged him right back to the dream.
No. Not the dream. The thing that wasn’t a dream. The thing that had been a really, really bad idea.
Damn.
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. It was dark outside, and he could hear the rain falling, but his watch had beeped ages ago which meant it was long after six.
He peered at the hands. Six forty-eight. Nearly seven.
He threw back the bedclothes and hit the shower, standing under the pounding blast and letting it wash away the fog of fear and confusion that lingered in the corners of his mind.
And with the washing away of the fog came clarity, and with it, the realisation of just what he’d done.
He must have been crazy! How could he have let himself do that? Of all the stupid, stupid things—
He turned off the water and stepped out, burying his face in the towel for a long moment before towelling himself roughly dry.
He heard something—machinery?—and strode to the window, yanking the curtain out of the way.
There were lights on the lane; a tractor, clearing the snow in the almost-dark. The drive looked almost completely free of snow.
Which meant Georgie could leave.
Good. That was good, he told himself, but it didn’t feel good, and just underlined how big a mistake he’d made last night. Well, never again. He was done with breaking his heart over Georgia Beckett.
* * *
He was up.
She could hear him moving around in his room, hear the water running. Josh was playing on the floor, and she’d showered and dressed and she was packing their things.
His cot, with the bedding Sebastian had lent her. All their wash things. Random toys and bits and pieces scattered about all over the room by Josh.
She checked under the bed and found the nappy cream she’d lost last night, and put it in the changing bag. Time he was potty trained, anyway. She’d do that as soon as she was home, but she hadn’t wanted to do anything when he was out of routine. Not a good time to set yourself up for a fall.
And talking of doing that, what had she been thinking about last night? Why get into bed with him? On the bed, maybe, but in it?
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