Not doing anything physical on a day like this had its drawbacks. I was stamping my feet and flapping my arms to get some heat in my body. Unfortunately this drew the attention of one of the guards. He came over and wanted to know what the hell I thought I was doing. I explained that I was trying to get warm. Not having a hat and gloves was a detriment.
I guess he thought I was trying to yank his chain because he grabbed me by the coat and started dragging me to where the other workers were. He grabbed the pick from one of the men and thrust it in my hand. He told us to change places if I needed to get warm. Suddenly the work force commander entered the argument. He told the guard he didn’t have the authority to make changes and that I was the only one who could operate the transit.
All I wanted to do was just slink away but that was not an option. The guard pointed his gun at me at one point and told the work force commander he would just shoot me for attempting to escape. Man, this is not what I needed. Finally the guy that had the pick originally took it from me and went back to work.
The work force commander grabbed me up and dragged me back to the transit and told me to get to work. Geez, the last thing I needed was another guard looking for a chance to bust my head open.
Fortunately the rest of the work detail went by without further incident but I was uneasy nevertheless. I was absolutely frozen by the time we got back to the complex. Most of the people went over to the mess hall immediately but I just stood in the yard and did a few exercises trying to get warm. You can bet I kept a keen lookout for guards. I didn’t need any more attention directed to me. Finally when I was semi-warm I went to eat.
Everything was fine until I came out of the mess hall. The guard from the afternoon was standing there and he immediately got in my face. I just stood there while he ranted and threatened. I guess that made him even madder because he punched me in the chest first and then up side my head. My ear felt like it was on fire where the blow landed.
I knew if I fought back he would have an excuse to kill me so I just stood there while he continued to vent. Suddenly he got quiet and looked over the top of me. I turned and 642 stood there just looking at the guard.
Is there a problem he asked? His voice was impossibly soft for a man that size.
No, the guard said. He told 642 that he was just adjusting my attitude The giant said ‘and you feel it needs some adjustment.’ It was a statement and the guard wasn’t sure what to do. He had a gun but he was probably thinking it would not be a good idea to try to shoot the giant.
I think it has been addressed adequately the guard finally told 642. My new found friend told him that it would be good if it was no longer an issue. I was doing my best not to look smug and keep a totally neutral face, but it was hard. The guard walked off without another word. When I turned around, 642 was gone. No matter how hard I try I cannot for the life of me figure out why he has helped me, not once, but twice. He probably saved me from another beating. The guard was getting pretty worked up until 642 appeared.
I wasn’t sure what to do. The last time I thanked him he sort of blew it off. I went to bed wondering why the guard was like that and why 642 had decided to save me twice now. I went to sleep thinking how strange it was.
***
Day 25 Journal Entry
When I looked out the window my first thought was ‘oh goodie, it snowed again’. Great, now I could really freeze my butt off. When I stepped outside the cold almost took my breath away. I already mentioned that I am not a fan of cold weather but this was definitely more than just cold. This was frigid. I was hoping they would call off the work detail. Nothing like wishful thinking. We were marched to the work shed, issued our usual tools and hiked to the starting point. We had been working for about an hour when a helicopter came in low and blew show and small rocks everyplace. It landed a few yards from us and a man got out. The work force commander hightailed it over to meet him and stood there talking. Well, it didn’t look like he was saying much.
Most of the talking seemed to be done by the guy on the chopper. They talked for fifteen minutes or so. Everyone kept working but I had the advantage of being able to watch due to the transit. Finally the guy got back in the chopper and off he went. The work force commander came over to me and said we need to change directions by ten degrees. It seems that we were going to miss the airport in our current heading.
I was glad he didn’t blame it on me. The guy I took over from had made the mistake. It seemed fairly simple. I looked at the compass heading and moved the transit ten degrees. He came over and checked and pronounced it brilliant. Great. Now if he could just get the goons to leave me alone. That and maybe a hat and some gloves. Hell, warmer socks while I’m wishing.
With all the people working we made really good progress today. Everything seemed to being going smoothly until suddenly a gun shot rang out and one of the workers fell face down in the snow. The snow turned crimson as the he lay there quivering.
The work force commander came running over and dropped down by the man. He looked up at the guard and walked over to him. Apparently the guard thought he wasn’t really working, just faking it. They had a huge argument and finally the guard aimed the gun at the work force commander. I have to give him credit, he is braver than I am. He basically dared the guard to shoot him.
At one point he grabbed the barrel and placed it against his chest and told him to go ahead and shoot. I was amazed when the guard backed down. Finally everyone calmed down.
I helped carry the dead man, 19334 back to the compound. He left a trail of blood almost the entire way. One of the observations I have made lately is that the guards are becoming more brazen and antagonistic. Look at what happened today. He thought the man was not working hard enough. It wasn’t that he wasn’t but that the guard had the right to just shoot him because he thought he deserved it.
It made me fear a little more for my life. I have already had two run-ins with the guards and one with the crazy guy when I first got here. If this was being reported it wouldn’t be long before the camp commander would start taking a look at me. It is frightening when you realize that you have no real control over your life. The whim of a guard can suddenly end it all.
For the first time I started to think about trying to find a way to get out of here. I went to sleep thinking about having a steak, baked potato, and a glass of wine far, far away from here.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Day 26 Journal Entry
It was an ugly start to the day. When we were dressed, the work force leader stopped ten of us and told us to report immediately to the camp commander’s building. Never mind that it was even colder than yesterday, we trudged through the additional four inches of snow that fell last night.
When we got there we were told to wait outside until we were called in. They went by number. Of course my number was second from the last. I was shaking uncontrollably by the time I went in.
The blast of warm air was heavenly. I stood before the commander’s desk while he was looking at what appeared to be my file. The number 12125 was stamped in red numbers across the front of it.
He asked me to tell him exactly what happened between the guard and the prisoner that was shot. I was relieved because I had actually not seen anything. All I did was turn around when the gun went off.
I explained what I had been doing and that I had not actually seen the altercation. Suddenly it seemed very warm in the place. He was looking at me like I was a bug that needed to be squashed. He asked me to tell him what I thought happened. Now here is my dilemma, if I speak out against the guard, I will probably find myself in trouble. If not from that guard, from one of his friends. If I defended the guard, the work force commander could get in trouble and that would be just as bad.
I tried to explain that I had no idea what had happened. I was busy looking through the transit at the time. I was hoping that would be good enough but apparently he wasn’t satisfied. He said he had ask what I thought had happened. Now what?
I told him what I had heard in the argument between the guard and the work force leader. I told him what they had said as much as I could remember. Then he asked me who was right in my opinion. I told him I had no opinion. I was a political prisoner and not entitled to have an opinion. He looked at me for the longest time before he finally dismissed me. As I was going out the door he said he did not want to see another entry in my file. I said ‘yes sir’ and got the hell out of there. The air actually felt good.
When the last man came out we were taken to the work site and immediately put to work. A few minutes later a Hummer came down the new road and picked up the guard who had shot the prisoner. I had no idea what that meant but I sure hoped it didn’t mean more trouble for me.
The guard didn’t come back the rest of the day. The work force leader was the next to be summoned. We were told to keep working until he returned. As he went by me he told me if he was not back in an hour, to give the men their morning break and then to take them back to the camp at the end of the shift.
Talk about strange feelings. I was a nobody in their minds and here was telling me to take over if he didn’t return. As it turned out he did come back but the guard was never seen again. When the work force commander came by me this time he handed me a pair of gloves. He said it would help prevent me from making errors in the readings.
He walked beside me when we went back to the camp. He told me the guard had been transferred to a different facility, one in Alaska. He had been told the guards have the right to shoot anyone not working but only if there was proof and some extenuating circumstances were not in play.
I wasn’t even sure why he was talking to me but it was interesting information. He also said the camp was at maximum capacity of 30,000 thousand and some of the prisoners might be moved to a different camp. I was thinking I hope they have one in Florida for me. Probably not.
* * *
Day 27 Journal Entry
Things went from bad to very bad today. Four men were caught trying to sneak into the women’s camp and were to be executed. It got worse. The four women that were helping them were also going to be given the same sentence.
Yes, I know. Why should the women be treated differently than men if they were guilty of the same crime? First, I don’t see that it is really a crime. What the heck would it have hurt for them to spend a few hours together? I guess I just find it repugnant that they would be executed for breaking what is such a silly rule to begin with. It didn’t matter what any of us thought. We were summoned to the assembly area as soon as the work day was done. We all stood shivering, waiting for the commander to come out. We were somewhat hopeful that he had changed his mind when we saw no prisoners standing by the platform. It was for nothing. A few minutes later they were brought out and positioned against the wall. The commander mounted the platform and told us that the rules were in place for a reason. Of course he didn’t say what the particular reason was. He went on about how he was trying to overlook minor offences but there was no way he could allow something of this nature to go unpunished.
We all knew it was for show. He could have just said don’t try it again and let it go but for some reason he was determined to force the issue. Then the real shocker came.
He selected thirty men by number to come forward. When they got there they were handed a rifle with one bullet in it. A guard stood behind each one with a gun to each of the men’s heads. They were told that they were the firing squad. Each man was assigned one of the prisoners. When the Commander gave the order to shoot they were to fire the weapon. The holes would be counted and if the assigned prisoner did not have enough holes in them, they would be executed as well.
It was unbelievable. We were being forced to kill other prisoners. The choice was to kill or be killed. What if someone was just a bad shot? They could cause the others in his group to be executed as well. I’m sure they were all thinking the same thing. I either take this person’s life or I get us all killed.
When it was finally over and all the accused prisoners killed, the groups were turned loose and we were all sent to eat. Eat. It was necessary to sustain life but it was not a joyous occasion. With over a thousand people eating at once all you could hear was a fork scrap a plate occasionally. It was eerie to say the least.
* * *
Day 28 Journal Entry
I woke up feeling like my head was going to split. My face was flushed when I looked in the mirror. I did not like what looked back at me. My teeth were starting to look dingy since all I had was my finger to brush with.
I had quit shaving to help fight against the cold and wind. The temperature was continuing to drop each day and snow continued to fall. We were only a couple of miles from the airport now. When we got to the site the trucks with gravel were waiting for us. In this cold it would be back breaking work.
No one was immune. I was given a shovel and placed with all the others on one of the trucks. A little after the break we had leveled most of the gravel but it was to no avail. A few minutes later another round of trucks came rolling up. The dumped their load and we had to get that leveled out as well.
We were all so tired that we could hardly stand let alone march the almost seven miles back to the complex. Why couldn’t they have let us ride in the back of the trucks back to the camp? Speculation didn’t matter, we were marching and dragging our shovels back to the shed.
All the shoveling had made my shoulder throb. They may have put it back in place but it still wasn’t right. I had thought about going to see the doctor but decided that it would just be one more entry in my record and I certainly didn’t need that.
One of the things we all tried to do was find someone that had just been brought into the camp. It was the only source of outside information we had. For the last month it was as if I had dropped off the face of the earth. When I was a reporter I had my finger on the pulse of what was going on every minute. We were all starved for news.
We learned about the President’s big speech and her claims that crime was almost non-existent. We also found that two of the network television stations had been nationalized and were now operated by the government. In essence, the 1st amendment was abolished. People could be stopped and searched for no reason and any group could be thrown in jail unless they had the proper permits.
One of the other huge news items was that all major banks had been taken over by the government and were being consolidated. Smaller banks were being absorbed into the government banks. I guess it makes sense in a way if you are going to control the entire country but I have never known the government to be capable of running any business efficiently.
The other bit of news, which we already had figured out, was that more and more people were being considered political dissidents or domestic terrorists. According to one guy, a lot of people had joined the ISS in order to keep from being arrested or finding themselves out of a job. It made me wonder if that is what happened in the Nazi Party as well.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Day 29 Journal Entry
Over a foot of fresh snow fell last night. I was hopeful that we would be told to stay inside but that was just wishful thinking. Last night I fashioned a sort of hat out of one of my shirt sleeves. It was more of a scarf but at least it would protect my ears. Several others saw me doing it and followed suit.
It was bitterly cold and the wind was blowing snow so hard it stung your face. They were little more than ice crystals at this point. The march was difficult with more than a foot of snow. Those in the front of the line had the hardest time.
Everyone started to work immediately to keep warm as much as anything. The guards looked miserable since all they could do was stand around and watch us. One thing about this place, there are no wind breaks, nothing to help block the snow. The men trying to put in the fence posts were having a hard time with the snow that had filled the holes.
It was obvious that we were falling behind from our previous work pattern. I doubt that we made two hundred y
ards before the break. Everyone ate quickly and went back to work. It was just too damn cold to stand in one place very long. I was shaking so badly that I could hardly take the readings. Add to that, the problem that the lenses kept fogging up from my body heat, or what was left of it. For the first time I felt sorry for my stick man. All he could do was stand there in the blowing snow and hold the damn stick.
Most of the men actually half jogged back to the camp when the work day ended. Some went to the mess hall immediately. A few waited until they could get inside for a few minutes to warm up. I don’t think it made a lot of difference. I was one that went on over to the mess hall. I was glad I did because the line was the shortest I had seen since I had been here. Once inside, they had soup and bread for the meal. Pretty hard to save soup for tomorrow but it was hot and that was the most important thing.
I sat and savored every spoonful. It felt good to be warm on both the inside and the outside for a change. Finally I made my way back to the barracks. When I got there all hell had broken loose. Four guys were fighting and knocking each other senseless. I had no idea what it was about but I saw 642 just watching. He didn’t seem to have any particular interest in the outcome.
So why had he come to my aid not once but twice? I would have given anything to know that. Finally the fight wore down when they were too tired to slug it out any longer. I decided it was none of my business so I didn’t even ask what it was about. All four of the men were pretty battered. I don’t think there was any clear winner.
At least when we had the cleanup detail tonight we would have some blood to clean off the floor. That made me think of something else. In just thirty days I had gone from being a caring person to one who was becoming immune to what was going on around me. I wondered what I would be like in sixty days or six months. Would I just not care about anyone or anything?
PROJECT BlueBolt - BOOK II - THE GULAG JOURNAL: BOOK II - The Gulag Journal Page 6