"There’s my girl!" Jared kissed her cheek. "I knew you’d come around."
Kate felt as if her last hold on the family had slipped from her grasp. Even Dani was happy with him now. There really was no place for her here. Jared could hire someone to care for the house and probably cook better than she could ever hope to. She didn’t doubt that even if he had to hire someone to care for Dani that he would ever neglect the children. His love for them shone from his eyes, and Kate realized that was the most important thing.
Except for Dani’s babbling, they made the drive to the lawyer's office in silence. When they pulled up in front of the brick building that housed Marcus’ office Kate offered to wait in a nearby coffee shop.
"You might as well come in. You already know what’s going on." Jared once again carried Dani as they walked up the stairs to the office.
"You can go right in, Marcus is ready for you," the secretary at the desk informed them.
"Jared!" Marcus stood in the doorway of his office. "I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you!"
"I hear the reports of my death were greatly exaggerated."
"No kidding." Marcus greeted Kate then motioned for them to go into his office and sit down. Jared put Dani on the floor beside Kate’s chair as Kate pulled out the toys she’d brought along.
"So tell me what’s been happening," Jared requested. "Kate’s given me a few details, but I want to know the bottom line on this deal with my parents and what it’s going to take to keep them from getting their hands on the kids."
Marcus nodded and began to lay out what had been happening. "I look at the chances as having improved somewhat now that you’re back. The guardianship is a point in your favor. Obviously Jen and Steve wanted you to have the kids. Kate didn’t have that, so in a sense she was on equal footing with your parents in that regard. Your career is going to be a mark against you though. I’ve no doubt they’ll use it to prove that you aren’t father material."
"I’ve quit. This job I just got back from was my last."
Kate looked at Jared in surprise. He hadn’t mentioned that to her. But then, why should he have?
"Did you make this decision before or after you found out about the kids?" Marcus asked.
"Before. I handed in my resignation before I headed out on this last mission. Why?"
"If you have some kind of proof, it would be great. Just something to show that you were already contemplating a change in your lifestyle before you found out about Steve and Jen’s death."
"I have a copy of my letter of resignation."
"That’s good. Very good." Marcus looked back down at the file on his desk. "It’s still not a for sure thing, though. Your parents, if they really want the children bad enough, will probably make an issue out of the fact that you are single. They will say they can give the children a more stable home."
"More stable!" Jared scoffed. "Right. With nannies and servants to raise the kids. I don’t think so."
"I know, but for some people that might seem like a better home."
"So you’re saying I should contemplate marrying someone in order to keep the kids."
Marcus shrugged. "It’s just a thought. It would strengthen your case if they could see that the children would be raised in a two-parent family."
"I don’t understand what the big deal is. There are single parent families all over the country and their kids are turning out just fine."
"I know but let’s be realistic here, Jared. You’re not talking about becoming a single parent to a child. You have four children you want to be responsible for and you’re a man with basically no child-rearing experience. That’s a big difference."
Jared sighed and slouched in his chair. "Okay, so say I agree to consider getting married, who on earth would I marry? I don’t know anyone around here well enough for that. And what kind of marriage would it be? I only ever figured on getting married once in my life. I don’t want to be getting a divorce in a year or two. I had always hoped to find a love like Jen and Steve had. I was determined to find another Jennifer for my wife and mother of my children.” Jared rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Do you know how hard it is to find a woman like Jen?"
Marcus nodded ruefully. "Yes, I’ve kind of been keeping my eye open for someone like her myself. She was one in a million. A billion, in fact."
Kate could hardly breathe for the pain in her heart. She longed to grab Dani and flee the room. That Jared didn’t even consider her an option for a marriage for the sake of the kids broke her heart. Any vague hopes she may have had of helping him raise the kids and of him falling in love with her evaporated like the morning mist beneath the sun’s warm rays.
It was all she could do to keep her face passive, her emotions contained. Her time as a mother was drawing to an end. Jared would find another woman to help him raise Jen and Steve’s kids. And Kate would be relegated back to her place in the background.
"Mama...mama..." Dani grabbed Kate’s skirt.
"What is she calling you?" Anger and grief laced Jared’s words. "Why is she calling you Mama?"
Another arrow pierced her heart. "She’s not calling me anything. She wants her bottle. Sometimes it’s baba or dada."
As if to prove her point, Dani babbled, "Baba...baba..."
"Here, sweetie, come for a cuddle." Kate lifted the little girl onto her lap and pulled a bottle from the diaper bag. Within seconds Dani cuddled contentedly against her breast, sucking furiously on the bottle. It was her nap time and Kate knew she’d drift off to sleep before too long.
Kate glanced up to see both men staring at her and felt the heat rise in her cheeks. "Sorry for the interruption. She’ll be asleep in a few minutes."
Marcus cleared his throat. "As, uh, I was saying, if you would consider marriage, I believe it would greatly improve your chances of keeping the children."
"Okay, for the kids, I’ll do anything, include getting married. But who on earth should I ask?"
Kate was looking at Marcus and saw his gaze slide her way. A look of embarrassment crossed his face and then one of pity. Kate kept her chin up and willed herself not to look away. She had her pride, and she certainly didn’t want Jared to be forced to consider her.
Jared must have followed Marcus’ gaze as well because when Marcus looked away, Kate realized Jared was staring at her.
"Kate?" Uncertainty rang in his voice.
"I think she’s the best solution," Marcus said. "She’s been with the kids for six months now. She’s done her best to keep the family together with no help from anyone else."
"But what about her job? Surely she must have to go back to her job."
Marcus looked confused. "But I thought she lost her job. At our last meeting she said her employer had fired her."
"Excuse me, but I am present in the room. Am I not permitted to speak for myself?" Kate asked, not bothering to hide the edge of irritation in her tone.
Both of them had the grace to look apologetic.
"Go ahead," Jared said with a nod.
"Yes, it’s true I no longer have a job, but I’m sure I’ll have no problem finding another one."
"But you wouldn’t have to if we got married. Unless you wanted to go back to work," Jared quickly added. "Don’t you see? The best solution would be if you married me."
"Perhaps you’d best look around first. I’d hate to have you settle for me when the next Jennifer might be waiting right around the corner. Why I could introduce you to several single women in the church who would no doubt fit the bill." Kate felt her anger building, fueled by an aching heart. "Why should you have to settle for plain old me who can’t cook, hates housework and doesn’t have a domestic talent of any sort? Surely the woman you marry should have at least one of the qualities you seek. I’m afraid I don’t qualify on any account."
Kate stumbled to a stop as she realized what she was saying. Waves of emotions were battering her defenses and she feared she was going to burst into tears on the spot. Clutching Dani, she gra
bbed the diaper bag and fled the room. She paused only long enough to ask the secretary for directions to the washroom.
Once inside, Kate leaned back against the door, her whole body trembling. She took a couple of deep breaths and then looked around the room. There was a nice sitting area off to the side and with relief she slumped down on the couch. Dani continued to slumber on, oblivious to the pain her aunt was in. The bottle was gone, and Kate realized with dismay that it must have fallen in the office when she made her escape. There was no way she was going back to get it.
She needed to pull herself together. To gather the ragged remnants of her dignity and pride and accept the inevitable. She would marry Jared because neither of them had a choice. There was no one else to marry him. No one else who could claim to love the children as she did. No one else the children needed as much as they needed her.
Kate just wished that she had been the first person to pop into Jared’s mind when Marcus mentioned marriage, not the last.
Jared paced the foyer area in front of the secretary’s desk waiting for Kate, a baby bottle clutched tightly in his fist. The secretary had assured him that Kate would have to walk past her desk to leave the building and that she hadn’t done that yet.
He felt like a heel. A first class, worn to the sole, heel. He had not even considered Kate for marriage, so sure that she was eager to return to her career. It had been a shock to hear that she’d lost her job. All for the sake of the children. Now what was he going to do? He had to convince her to marry him. There was no one else and aside from all that, she loved the children and there was no doubt they needed her, even if she couldn’t cook worth a hoot.
“Could you go in there and tell her we have to pick up the kids at school?” Jared asked the secretary.
She nodded and got up. In a few seconds she was back. “She said she’d be right out.”
“Thanks.” Jared willed himself to stand still at the window as he waited for her.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.” Kate’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
Jared spun on his heel to see her standing behind him, Dani still sleeping soundly in her arms. She looked pale but determination was etched on her face. It was the emotion in her eyes that caught him though. For the first time he really looked at her, looked passed the cool reserve to the woman beneath. They had all badly misjudged the woman standing in front of him. And it was their loss, Jared knew.
“Dani dropped this.” Jared held the bottle out, a peace offering of sorts. Kate took it from his hand and slid it into the diaper bag. “Do you want me to carry her? She must be heavy.”
“She’s fine. It’s less likely she’ll wake up if I just carry her.” Kate turned and headed for the door. Jared followed, reaching out to hold it open for her.
The silence that surrounded them now was thick with emotion and tension that hadn’t been there earlier. Jared wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what. They didn’t have time to get into everything before they picked the kids up. It would have to wait for later.
At the school they stood together outside the car while Dani slept in her car seat. The moment the kids spotted them they came flying across the schoolyard to meet them.
“Auntie Kate! Auntie Kate!” Bry was the first to greet them, a wide grin on his face. “Look at this!”
He held up a paper that Kate took and gave serious perusal. Jared watched as a slow smile spread across her face.
Kate reached out and grabbed Bry close. “You did it! You got them all right! You did such a great job, Bryan. I’m so proud of you.” She captured his head in her hands and tilted his face upward to give him a kiss on the forehead. “I knew you could do it.”
Bry beamed with pride. “Can I show Uncle Jared?” Kate nodded and surrendered the paper to him.
While Jared congratulated Bry, he noticed Kate talking with Amelia and Candy, both of whom excitedly shared about their day. It hadn’t escaped his notice that they had gone to her first, eager to share their accomplishments. They did need her, and from the way her face lit up with love at their attention, Jared would venture to say that Kate needed them too.
“Auntie Kate,” Bry spoke hesitantly. “The teacher said to tell you I need new shoes for gym class. My old ones are too tight. I tried to wear them but they pinch my toes and hurt. I’m sorry.”
Jared’s brows pulled together as he frowned. “What are you sorry about, Bry? There’s no big deal. We’ll just go buy you some new shoes.”
Bry’s eyes lit up. “Really? But what about groceries?”
“Groceries?” Jared glanced at Kate. “Do we need groceries too? We can stop on our way home.”
“No, I mean before, Auntie Kate wouldn’t buy a new pair of boots for herself even though the old ones had a crack because she said we needed the money for groceries,” Bry informed him earnestly.
Kate laid a hand on Bry’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Your uncle will take care of everything. Why don’t we get in the car?”
Jared noticed Kate wouldn’t meet his gaze as they all climbed into the car. Something wasn’t right but once again, now wasn’t the time or the place to discuss it.
They made a trip to the mall to buy Bry his shoes and then stopped for pizza on the way home. It was almost seven by the time they pulled into the driveway. The kids tumbled out of the car and into the house.
“Head on up for baths, guys,” Kate instructed. She carried a sleepy Dani on one hip and herded the other three up the stairs. Jared followed with their purchases from the mall and Dani’s diaper bag.
It seemed to take forever to get the kids bathed and to get story time and prayers done. Kate was still settling Dani when Jared drifted down the hallway, drawn to the master suite. He knew he shouldn’t go in because it was Kate’s room now, but he couldn’t stop himself from turning the handle and stepping inside.
Expecting to be greeted by the soft scent of Kate’s perfume, Jared jerked back when the same staleness he’d smelled in his own place greeted him. He flicked on the light and glanced around the room. It was like a step back in time. Blankets lay rumpled on the unmade bed. Jen’s silky nightgown lay across the foot of it, tangled with the sweatpants Steve always wore to bed.
Jared could almost imagine what had happened. They’d stayed in bed to cuddle and had ended up running late. Jen had left the bedroom in uncharacteristic messiness, never to return to clean it up.
He sensed Kate as she walked into the room behind him. “Why did you just close up this room?”
“I didn’t know what to do with their things. I came in here once to try and pack stuff away, but I felt as if I had no right. Like I was a stranger pawing through their things.” Kate walked to the dresser and ran her fingers over it leaving trails of shining wood through the dust. “I didn’t need the room so I just decided to leave it for now.”
“Of course you have a right to be here, Kate. You’re Jen’s sister.” Jared watched as she walked around the room, lightly touching things. The lamp, the desk, the bed.
“I may have been related by blood, but we were never close like sisters should be. I didn’t think she’d want me here, in her house, in her room, with her children.”
“Why would you say that?” Jared asked, shocked at what she was revealing. “She never felt that way about you.”
“So why were you named guardian? Why not me? Or if not just me, why not both of us?”
Jared heard the wealth of hurt in her words and longed to ease her pain. “When we discussed the guardianship, Steve and Jen never thought anything would happen to them until they were old and gray. When they named me, we all hoped I’d never really have to take on the role. But if the worst had happened, they figured you were so focused on your career that having to take the responsibility of four children would be too much. That it would be a burden you wouldn’t want.”
“Why does everyone think that?” Kate looked at him then, pain blazing from her eyes. “Why does everyone assume th
at I have no interest in a family or children? Do I come across as an unfeeling lump of clay?
“You know something, Jared, all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I knew I had tons of love to give a man and our children, if I could just find the right man. The only problem was, I was smart. Whenever I talked to my dad about not furthering my education, he would give me a lecture on how a mind was a terrible thing to waste. I owed it to humanity to use my intelligence for something more than having babies.
“I watched others have it all, marriage and a career, but I just couldn’t imagine being able to give my best to both. My dad was so determined that I would do better helping to find a cure for cancer or some other disease than to have a family. He was always an all or nothing sort of person where I was concerned. Either I gave my all to my studies and my career or have a family but he loaded enough guilt on me to make sure I didn’t choose to abandon my career in favor of a family. My mom died of cancer. I think he felt I would do more good trying to find a cure for that.
“I watched my dream being lived by Jen. She had everything I’d ever wanted. All I had was my career. I didn’t have anything else. I wasn’t allowed my dreams or my emotions. No, I had to follow the path dictated by my intelligence.” Kate picked up Jen’s nightgown. It slithered through her fingers back onto the bed. “I had nothing else. Until now. I have children in my life. They aren’t of my body, but I couldn’t love them more if they were. Please don’t ask me to give them up, Jared.” She looked at him then, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I know I’m so far from the woman you want as a wife that I might as well be from another planet, but I don’t think any other woman could love those children as much as I do. Give me a chance. Please.”
“Kate, let’s go downstairs and talk about this.” Jared moved to her side and took her arm. He couldn’t miss her wince as his hand gripped her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Kate said with a shake of her head.
“Something’s wrong.” Jared released her arm and slid the sleeve of her sweater up. It was so loose on her it slid without hindrance right to her shoulder. He saw the marks then, clear finger marks on her upper arm.
Marrying Kate Page 3