"I’d love it, too. After being cooped up in the hospital I’m all for being out in the fresh air."
"I’ll let Darlene know and we can pick up some take-out somewhere so she doesn’t have to do a lot of work for the meal."
When Jared left Kate to dress thirty minutes later, the shadow had left her eyes. But wanting to know what had caused it gnawed at his gut. He was so much more in tune to her now, aware of her emotions and feelings in a way he’d never been with any other person.
Darlene was in the kitchen when he returned with the breakfast tray. She smiled when she saw him, her gaze taking in the tray. The rose wasn’t on it any longer but now resided on the nightstand next to the bed.
"I guess you don’t need breakfast now," Darlene commented as she measured some ingredients into a bowl.
"I wouldn’t say that exactly." Jared placed the tray on the counter and rinsed out the mugs. "I just had coffee and Kate only had a slice of toast. I think we’re both ready for something more substantial, not to mention tasty."
Darlene laughed and deftly poured perfect circles of batter onto a hot griddle. Jared took dishes from the cupboard and as he set the table he told her about their plans for a picnic.
Once breakfast was made, Jared went back upstairs to see if Kate was ready to come down. He found Amelia in the room with her, helping to tie her shoes.
Kate smiled ruefully at him. "I can’t believe I can’t even put my own shoes on."
Amelia glanced up from where she knelt on the floor. "I don’t mind doing it for you, Auntie."
"Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate you helping me out."
Jared waited until the shoes were tied before helping Kate downstairs. Darlene had insisted on packing at least part of the lunch, saying it was a waste to spend money on food she had in the kitchen. Jared didn’t bother to argue and soon after breakfast they were off for the lake, stopping only to pick up some fried chicken.
The sun reflected brightly off the water of the lake and promised a day of warmth. They settled at a picnic table under a tree and Jared spread a large blanket out on the grass. Darlene took Dani and the other children down to wade in the water.
Kate sat at the picnic table staring out at the lake. Jared watched her, taking in the paleness of her features. The flutters in his stomach caught him off-guard. Flutters of anticipation, excitement and love. He wondered what she’d do if he went to her and took her into his arms and told her that he loved her. How would she respond?
Kate caught Jared staring when she turned her head towards him. Instead of looking away, he smiled. "Are you glad to be out of the house?"
"Definitely. I’ve seen more of four walls than I ever want to again." Kate looked back out to where the kids were playing in the water. "I’d like to wade in the water, but then I’d have to get my shoes back on.”
“That’s not a problem. If wading is what you want, then wading you shall have.” Jared came around the picnic table and after Kate had turned, he knelt and removed her shoes and socks. He held her foot in his hand for a brief second longer than necessary, surprised to see her toenails painted a bright pink. Glancing up at her, Jared saw Katie blush.
“Darlene did them for me in the hospital one day. She said it would make me feel better,” she explained.
“And did it?”
Kate shrugged. “I guess. I never really thought about it. I just enjoyed having her there to talk to.”
“Then it did make you feel better,” Jared told her as he slipped out of his own shoes, then held out his hand. Kate took it and stood slowly. Together they made their way down to the water’s edge.
The kids came splashing out of the water to where they stood.
“Careful, guys,” Jared cautioned the kids. “Your aunt only wants to get her feet wet right now.”
Still holding his hand, Kate ventured into the water. They walked out until the waves lapped gently at their knees. The sand beneath their feet shifted and reformed as they stood there.
Releasing Kate’s hand, Jared gently wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. She didn’t resist. Instead, Kate wrapped her own arm around his waist and then rested her cheek on his chest.
They stood that way for several minutes just enjoying the feeling of being alive. The wind blew across the lake gently buffeting their clothes and stirring their hair. Jared closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sun. All was right in his world. He had the woman he loved in his arms, his family nearby and a God who was more than willing to give him a second chance at taking care of them all.
*****
Kate was exhausted by the time they got home later that afternoon. But it was a good exhaustion. Her body was getting stronger after its ordeal and the pain wasn’t as bad as it had been. Before long, she would be back to normal. At least physically.
With no argument, Kate allowed Jared to help her upstairs and into bed for a nap before supper. She barely had time to thank him before she fell asleep.
It was a couple of hours later when she woke to the delicious aroma of dinner. Kate sat up carefully and managed to get out of the bed and to her closet to find something to wear. After getting herself dressed, Kate headed for the stairs. She was feeling stronger, as if the fresh air and sunshine had healed her body and infused her with strength. She took the stairs slowly, the stretch of each step causing a bit of pain around her wound.
With a feeling of triumph Kate stepped off the last step and headed for the kitchen. The rest of the family was gathered there preparing dinner and looked up in surprise at her entrance.
Jared hurried to her side. "You should have called me!" Then he glanced around and saw that his end of the monitor wasn’t in the kitchen and looked chagrined.
"I’m fine. I was feeling much better when I woke up so I decided to try it on my own. And I made it." Kate felt a pride in her accomplishment that was not unlike what she had experienced at times in the lab when they had a breakthrough. Oh, how her life had changed.
"You are looking better," Jared agreed. "More color in your cheeks, for one thing."
"I appreciate all your help, but you can’t baby me forever. I need to start building up my strength again."
"I know but I don’t want you to overdo it, okay?"
"I won’t. Promise." Kate looked at Darlene "What can I do to help with supper?"
"That’s overdoing, Katie." Jared took her elbow and directed her to the table. "You sit here and if there’s anything to do, you’ll do it sitting down."
Kate wanted to protest but deep down, she enjoyed his concern and coddling. It was almost as if he loved her. Kate caught her thoughts before they drifted too much further in that direction. She was feeling much too good to dwell on those not-so-happy thoughts.
"Okay, I’m sitting. Is there anything I can do while I sit here?"
Soon a jar of pickles and a bowl appeared in front of her. "You can cut those," Darlene said, handing her a cutting board and knife.
As she sat slicing pickles, Kate decided that this had been the best day in a long time. The laughter of the kids surrounded her and filled her heart with joy. There hadn’t been much to laugh about in the past few weeks, even months.
Jared sat down beside her at the table. The warmth of his body reached out to her even as the scent of his cologne tantalized her. She so missed being close to him, being in his arms. Would it ever be the way it was?
Kate felt Jared’s breath caress her cheek as he leaned forward to snitch a pickle. Her breath caught in her throat when she looked into his eyes, sparkling with laughter.
"Wanna bite?" Jared held the pickle near her lips after he’d bitten off one end.
Butterflies fluttered to life in her stomach. It was like he was flirting with her. But surely that wasn’t the case.
"Going once, going twice..." Jared waved the pickle back and forth.
Before she could stop herself, Kate reached up and grabbed his wrist, holding his hand still so she could take a bite. Juic
e trickled down her chin, and Jared swiped it away with his thumb before popping the remainder of the pickle into his mouth. The sourness of the pickle did nothing to detract from the sweetness of the moment.
As she stared at Jared, Kate saw his gaze drop to her lips. Would he kiss her? Kate hoped he would but disappointment filled her when he sat back, distance immediately breaking the intimacy of the moment.
Slowly the sound of kids’ chatter and the clang of pots and pans grew in her ears. Kate looked around and realized that the kids and Darlene had been unaware of what had passed between her and Jared. She’d been so caught up in Jared that the world around them had faded.
Kate turned her attention back to the pickles she was supposed to be cutting. It didn’t surprise her that her fingers trembled slightly as she began to once again cut pickles.
Kate’s strength lasted through dinner and getting the kids to bed and then she began to fade as well. Jared helped her into the bedroom, waiting in the hallway while she changed into her nightgown. Kate let him help her into bed even though she had no intention of staying there once he was gone.
Jared pressed a kiss to her forehead and said goodnight before leaving the room. Leaving her alone once again.
Because the days were getting longer, the sun had not set completely casting the room in dusky shadows. Kate got out of bed and made her way to the window seat. She parted the blinds and sat watching the sinking sun.
Glorious colors lit the evening sky. A truly beautiful manifestation of God’s handiwork. Kate leaned her head against the window suddenly weary right to her very heart. She had so hoped that things would return to the way they had been before the kidnapping. She’d thought after what Jared had said in the hospital that they would have a chance to grow even closer together but it just wasn’t turning out that way.
Oh, he was there for her, helping her whenever he could, but Kate had hoped, had longed, for more. A sob rose in her throat. Kate tried to keep it in aware that Jared probably had the monitor on downstairs but it escaped on a gasp. And once that first one had erupted, more followed. With each shuddering, gasping sob, pain pierced through her back, only adding to her anguish.
Kate tried to stop. She pressed a hand to her chest and tried to take a deep breath, but she couldn’t. All the tears and pain she’d kept inside over the past months bubbled up and out like a long dormant volcano. Her grief over Jennifer and her parents, over her marriage and even the trauma of the kidnapping and the shooting all seemed to surge forth at once. It seemed ironic that it all came out on a day that had been so filled with happiness. It was as if her heart could not contain the spectrum of emotion that was required.
"Kate!" Even through the fog of her misery, Kate could hear the alarm in Jared’s voice. She wanted to stop crying, to assure him that everything was okay but this time she couldn’t. Her emotions wouldn’t be pushed back down, wouldn’t be ignored.
Kate covered her face with her hands and tried to turn away from Jared so he wouldn’t see her so ravaged by her emotions. Jared’s hands gently but firmly turned her back and then she was being lifted and settled on his lap. He tenderly tucked her head under his chin, his heart beating a steady a rhythm beneath her ear, and let her cry.
Tears once again swamped Kate but instead of holding back, she let it out. Gradually, the storm of emotions began to fade. The sobs gentled and the tears ceased. Kate became aware of Jared’s strong embrace, his softly spoken words of comfort, and the gently soothing stroke of his hand on her back. Instead of feeling embarrassed over her breakdown, Kate felt nothing. Inside she felt as if every emotion had been wrung out of her. Like a sponge, her heart had been squeezed empty and now it sat there waiting for something to fill it up, but there was nothing.
Frantic at the feeling of deadness and cold inside her, Kate lifted her head and without thinking, drew Jared’s down to her so their lips almost touched.
"Kiss me," Kate pleaded, hoarsely, desperate for some kind of emotion to fill her again.
Jared didn’t hesitate to close the tiny distance between them so their lips would touch. It was a soft kiss, almost like the brush of butterfly wings. He kissed her gently again on the lips and then kissed her eyes, her cheeks. Every kiss was like a touch from the sun leaving behind warmth.
Slowly the coldness thawed and by the time Jared’s lips returned to hers, Kate knew she had not been dead inside but numb. And now that numbness faded and the first emotion that flooded her was love for the man that held her.
Jared ended the kiss but didn’t pull away. Instead his lips trailed over her cheek to her ear. "I love you, Katie."
Kate knew it was just a dream. It had to be. And because she was sure it was a dream, Kate answered with her heart, but the words wouldn’t be contained and they slipped past her lips. "I love you too, Jared."
Jared jerked back and stared down at her. Moonlight bathed them now, creating shadows on Jared’s features. Kate realized that her response spoken aloud to the words she’d imagined he’d said had shocked him.
Kate had always been afraid to tell him but at that moment, she felt only relief. Now he knew. The secret she’d kept locked up for so long was finally out and it felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
"Do you really love me, Katie?" Jared asked. "Or did I just imagine that?"
Kate lifted her hand and let her fingers lightly trace the contours of his face. "No."
"No what?" Jared asked, more urgently this time. "No, I didn’t imagine it or no, you don’t love me?"
"No, you didn’t imagine it." Kate gazed at the face of the man she loved, wishing she could see his eyes. They would tell her so much more than his words. "I love you, Jared. Always have. Almost from the moment we first met."
There was silence for what seemed an eternity before Jared responded. "For that long? I never knew."
"I didn’t want you to." Kate’s hand dropped into her lap and her head lowered. "I didn’t...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know that you don’t love me and maybe never will, but I’m glad you finally know."
A hand slipped under her chin, gently forcing her head up again. "I’m glad I finally know too. But what do you mean I don’t love you? I just told you I did."
Kate felt shock, then joy explode inside of her. "I thought that was just my imagination. I’ve wanted to hear those words from you for so long that I thought my mind was playing tricks on me."
"I love you, Katie." Jared leaned down close and Kate knew this time it was not her imagination.
"I love you, Jared." Kate kissed him and then snuggled close. "I’ve missed being close to you."
"I’ve missed it too, but I wanted to court you, woo you."
"Woo me?" Kate asked.
"Yes. I wanted to give you the courtship you never had before we married. I had everything all planned out. I was going to take you out for dinner, just the two of us, of course. Buy you lots of flowers and candy. And then propose to you. I’ve already talked to the minister and he agreed to marry us again. I had even planned to get several wedding dresses for you to choose from so you could have a real wedding this time."
"I don’t need that, Jared. I’m just content to know that you love me. That’s all that matters."
"I know, but I want us to get married again. When we married the first time we left something very important out of our vows because it didn’t apply at the time. Or at least I thought it didn’t."
Kate knew what he was talking about. "The vow to love one another."
Jared nodded. "I want to pledge my vow of love to you, Katie, before man and God. I want the world to know that I love you." Jared lifted her off his lap and back onto the seat beside him. Then he dropped to one knee before her and took her hand. "Kate, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife? I believe God brought us together because He knew how much we needed each other and how right we are for one another. I can’t imagine ever being married to anyone but you. Katie, you are my dream come true. I lo
ve you with all my heart."
Whatever their first proposal had lacked, this one made up for and more. There, with moonlight surrounding them and tears in her eyes, Kate accepted Jared’s proposal.
"You are my dream come true, too. I know now that God didn’t say no to my prayers all those years ago. He just said to wait. And I’m so glad I did. To have your love is all I’ll ever need, but I will gladly stand before the minister and pledge my love to you. It’s what I’ve always wanted."
*****
Three weeks later, the wedding finally took place. They had wanted to wait until Kate was sufficiently healed so that she could enjoy her wedding day with as little pain as possible.
Because they’d already been married once in the church, Kate asked Jared if he’d mind a wedding in their backyard surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation. The sun shone brightly the day of the wedding and warmth enveloped the guests they’d invited to share their special day.
Bry once again walked Kate to where Jared stood and then, surrounded by the children, Jared and Kate pledged vows of love to one another. Then together they prayed, thanking God for the gift of love and for bringing them together.
It was a wedding ceremony like no other and there was not a dry eye among the guests there. Even the minister had to clear his throat a few times after their prayer.
Standing there bathed in the warmth and light of the sun, Kate looked up at her husband and saw a twinkle in his eye. And love. There was no doubt about the love that radiated from his beautiful blue eyes. It was there, and it was for her.
Later, after the guests had departed, full from the wonderful buffet Darlene had prepared, and the kids were all settled for the night, Kate and Jared stood alone together in their room.
They had slept apart the past few weeks even though it had been difficult. Together they had decided to wait to consummate their marriage of love until the night of their second wedding. It had seemed very important to Jared that they wait and Kate had agreed. He had done his best to court her and woo her like he’d wanted. Kate had insisted he didn’t need to do it but enjoyed all of it just the same. It had been tortuous at times to have him so close and yet know that close intimacy she longed for would have to wait.
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