by J. M. Adele
Besides, how could she sleep in a bed with him? Yeah, he had protected her and there was no denying their connection, but he was withholding something. She couldn’t trust him. This whole spat between him and Jax . . . there was more to it. And the trauma of betrayal from her ordeal was still fresh in her mind.
Her jaw levered wide as she yawned. God, she was exhausted. How long had it been since she’d had more than a couple of hours of sleep? Nearly a week? Her eyelids drooped. “You should leave.” Already drifting off, she turned her face into his shoulder, getting more comfortable without thinking.
“Sleep,” he whispered into her hair, his voice the perfect lullaby to send her off into a dreamless slumber.
_____
Alone in a strange room, she awoke to silence and darkness. It took her a minute for her eyes to adjust and to get her bearings. Devlin’s house. Where is he? The air was layered with his delicious scent. Her stomach grumbled. Damn, this was some kind of torture being so close to the candy store and not being allowed in. She touched her fingertips to her lips, remembering the tenderness in his touch. How close they’d both been to slaking their thirst. But both of them knowing it would end in death. If she was going to die, that’d be her method of choice. Death by liquid ecstasy. When it was time—when Jax was captured—she might just do it.
Shiloh sat up, her muscles cramping with the movement. When she reached upright, the room continued to tilt as the blood drained from her head. Whoa. She folded her legs, slapped her hands on her knees, and stuck her head down. It was day seven without a feed. How long could vampires go without a drink? How long until she died of starvation? Pulling in air through her nostrils, she waited for the spinning to stop before heading to the bathroom. This was nothing compared to what Lanie was going through. She needed to remember that. And her poor parents must be beside themselves. She prayed that they were okay.
In the mirror, her pale face seemed foreign, and she barely registered the feel of the cool liquid wake-up call she splashed on it. Leaning over the basin, she peered at her reflection. Glazed eyes returned her stare. Maybe she should go back to bed.
“You’re awake.” Devlin wandered in from the bedroom.
Her stomach buzzed with a swarm of nerves. Had they actually kissed or had that been a dream? If that was what happened in her dreams she’d sleep for eternity. “Yeah.” Shiloh eyed him in the mirror before snatching a towel to dry her face. And hide. He was a god who’d strayed far from heaven, but if anyone was stupid enough to go looking for a halo, they’d be sorely disappointed. She didn’t want him to see her, sallow and fading under the LED lights.
Vulnerable.
What the hell was she thinking, having fantasies about being with him?
Two strong palms gripped her forearms, unveiling her from his sight. “Gonna be no skin left if you keep rubbing like that.” He dumped the towel on the bench and grabbed her by the hand. “You gotta eat somethin’.” He tugged her towards the door, but she resisted.
Sleeping together . . . holding hands . . . what were they doing?
There was no future for them. There was barely a past.
She dropped his hand, but he picked it up again, rejecting the distance she’d imposed. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t—” She lowered her gaze to their clasped hands and chewed her lip. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to get attached.”
“It’s too late for that and you know it. We’ve been attached since before we met. That’s why Jax’s hold on you weakened after you saw me for the first time. You recognized me. Do ya remember that day in the coffee house?”
Her brow creased. Heck yeah, she remembered. She’d been desperate to see Jax when a whirlwind of energy had sucked her in. And then she’d heard Devlin’s voice, his deep grumble yanking her from her seat with force. “But I’d never seen you before.”
“Nope. But it ain’t important. You knew who I was to you. You know.”
She pulled away again and this time he let her. “I know nothing. Is Devlin even your real name? Why do you live in this massive estate, but sleep on a mattress on the floor? Where did you come from? Who are your family? I know nothing about you.”
“See, that’s your problem. Ya gotta switch this off—” He tapped her on the temple. “—and listen to this instead.” He punctuated his statement by thumping a fist on his stomach.
Had he almost cracked a smile? “My belly? It has nothing to say because it’s empty.”
His cheeks did a slow climb. “Then let’s go fill it.” He tugged her behind him and out through the bedroom.
“Are you going to answer my questions?”
“Devlin is my real name. I didn’t buy this house for me. I don’t give a shit if I have to sleep on the cold, hard ground. I needed somewhere secure.”
She jogged every couple of steps to match his pace as she processed what he’d said. He didn’t buy the house for himself. So all the security . . . Shiloh got goosebumps all over as a possibility came to light. He’d been planning to steal her away. Devlin knew what Jax had been doing. Had he bought the house for her so she’d be safe?
At the top of the stairs, she pulled on Devlin’s hand to stop him and raised wide eyes to his questioning stare. “Who did you buy the house for?”
He didn’t blink. Or move. And the longer she waited, the more his gaze honed in like a laser beam until she thought she’d burst into flames.
“You.”
He came at her unexpectedly, his mouth covering hers in a bruising kiss. She grabbed onto his arms before she hit the floor. His tongue thrust into her mouth, demanding and giving at the same time. His taste seeped into her brain, just about lifting the top of her head off. Kissing him was like skydiving for the first time. Mind blowing. Thrilling. Fucking terrifying. But there were no clear skies on this dive. No unhindered path to redemption. It was as if a tornado opened up beneath them, kicking up hemorrhaging corpses and bloodied mattresses, death sentences and psycho exes—all the reasons this was a bad idea. As much as she wanted to freefall into him, to just let go and follow her body’s instincts, it had to stop.
Her jaw tingled in warning and she panicked, pushing against his chest. But she was too late. Her fangs shot out, scratching his lip.
“FUCK!” He jerked back, licking away the crimson evidence of her misdeed.
“I’m sorry! I couldn’t stop them.” Nor could she stop the tears from welling in her eyes. This was beyond cruel. She had the promise of nourishment in front of her and she couldn’t take it. And she’d hurt Devlin.
“Babe, if you think you upset a vampire by biting him, you got a lot to learn. I ain’t worried about me. But if my blood mixes with his blood in your veins, that ain’t gonna end well. My guess is that it’ll speed up the process.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. We gotta go see Myles.” He headed for the stairs again. “I was a dick for kissing you like that. I’m sorry. It’s fucking torture trying to control myself around you.” He stopped halfway down and pulled her into his arms.
She couldn’t hold herself together anymore. Letting her tears spill, she sank into his embrace and cried.
Answers
“How bad is it, Doc?” Shiloh pushed on the cotton ball in the crook of her elbow, watching Myles label the vials of blood he’d just taken.
“I won’t know until I’ve received the results from the lab. Your vitals are all fine. I don’t see any changes in your eyes that have me concerned. We’ll just have to sit tight. In the meantime, make sure you keep eating and drinking regularly. It’s a pity we can’t give you any blood, but we have to work with what we’ve got.” He put the vials inside some machine that whirred loudly as it spun them at high speed.
She felt perfectly fine. Just tired. Hopping down off the gurney, she turned to Devlin who was leaning on the wall beside the door. “Wait and see. You heard it first.”
Her smile slipped off her face when the corners of his mouth dipped even lower. �
��Put a rush on it. I want results by the morning.”
“Will do.”
“Come on, babe. You’ve gotta eat somethin’.” Dev pushed the door open for her.
“You cooking?”
“Fuck, no.” He put his arm around her, his palm landing on her hip.
A buzz of electricity fanned out from the contact. She stepped away, a subtle reminder to herself that she couldn’t have that kind of connection, more than it was a message to him. “Who, then?”
He shoved his hands in his back pockets, brow pulled tight. “Lock. Sometimes Sienna, or Margo, but she’s out of action. Probably won’t stop her, though.”
The delicious scent of curry met them in the hallway, getting stronger as they neared the kitchen. How long had she been asleep for? “What is the time?”
“’Bout eight p.m.”
She trailed behind him over to the island bench across from where Margo was filling several plates with rice and the creamy orange curry. Her hair was now bright yellow.
“I slept for fourteen hours?” Shiloh’s stomach let out a whine rather than a rumble. “No wonder I’m hungry.”
“Try thirty-eight.”
Her head snapped up. “Thirty-eight hours!?”
“Yup.” He pulled out a stool and lifted her onto it.
Margo huffed a laugh. “We wondered if you were dead.”
Ouch.
Devlin’s shoulders bunched as he sent Margo a look loaded with the power of ten atomic bombs.
She tilted her head, a lopsided smirk playing on her features. “Oh, come on. It’s a little bit funny. We’ve all gotta die from something.”
His eyebrows dipped so low, his eyes looked like two black pits under their shadow. Nostrils flaring, he ripped a packet of cigarettes from his back pocket before stalking off.
“That vampire has no sense of humor.” Margo shook her head and put a steaming plate of food in front of Shiloh, handing her some silverware. “Dig in.”
“Thank you.” She scooped up some curry and dug into the rice, loading her fork before blowing on the food. “How is your leg?”
“Almost better.” Margo held up a cane. “Just need a bit of help from my trusty friend. Vampire blood is a cure-all.”
Shiloh nodded, remembering how it had mended her broken arm. And how Sienna’s blood had saved Devlin’s life. There were no miracle cures available to Shiloh now.
Taking her first bite, she savored the flavor on her tongue: the mix of spices and cream with the fluffy rice and the meat melting in her mouth. It was unlike anything she’d ever tasted.
What’s different? She looked down at her plate, stabbing a piece of meat and slicing it in half. Oh, it’s raw. Juices from the meat seeped into the curry sauce, marbling veins of red through the orange. Mm, just how I like it. Her jaw froze, mid-chew. “Am I going to die if I ingest animal blood?”
“Animal blood doesn’t affect us. It’s as potent as water, unfortunately.”
Oh, good. I suppose.
She cleared her throat and made an attempt at small talk. “So how long have you worked for Devlin?”
“Only since he came back to Cali. The time before that, I was with him for ten years in San Jose. Then one day, he up and disappeared for nearly two centuries. And here we are, full circle.”
“Two centuries? How old are you?” Shiloh shoved the food in her mouth, relishing the heavenly sustenance.
“Three hundred, give or take a few decades.”
“Mostly give.” Zain interrupted them, coming in from the hallway and piling two plates with food.
“Watch it, smart-ass.” Margo grabbed a dish towel by one corner, spun it, and whipped it at the back of his legs.
He hopped on his toes, trying to get away. “Ow. That stings.”
“So did your comment, baby boy.” She threw the towel back on the dish rack, grinning at Shiloh. “Zain is a newborn. It’s only been six months since he dug himself out.”
Two months longer than me. I wonder how old Devlin is.
“Any dessert tonight, Mags?” Zain balanced the plates on one arm while grabbing two bits of naan bread.
“Not after you insulted me.”
“Aw, come on.” His words were muffled around a piece of bread.
“Tell Lock I made him an apple pie.”
“Sweet.” Zain’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
“It’s for him, not you. You can kiss my ass.”
“That cuts me deep.” He grinned, before ripping off another chunk of naan with his teeth.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on control room duty with Lock? Get out of my kitchen.”
“Your kitchen?”
“It’s mine tonight.” She threw the retort at his back as he left. Margo shook her head, laughing. “Kids. Who’d have them?”
All Shiloh’s questions came rushing to the tip of her tongue. She lined them up, deciding to take it one at a time. “Can vampires have children?”
“God, no. The ability to procreate dies with our humanity. In my opinion, that’s a good thing, but if you ask Sienna, she’ll disagree. Can you imagine breastfeeding? Ouch.”
Er, no. Shiloh swallowed twice. She’d be turning seventeen in two weeks. Any thought of having babies had been waaay down the track. But with the option being wiped from the table, she suddenly had a knot in her throat, and the silence of her biological clock was more a pounding in her ears. “True. What else can’t we do?” Shiloh searched the cupboards to find a glass, desperate for a drink.
“Here.” Margo opened one of the cupboards above the bench beside the refrigerators and handed Shiloh a tumbler. “There’s a dispenser on the fridge door.”
“Thanks.” Shiloh poured her drink and made her way back to her seat.
“We can’t fly—total bummer—but there’s not much we can’t do. We’re stronger and faster than humans.” Margo sat on the stool beside Shiloh, resting her cane against the bench. “You were a swimmer, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, you could probably swim across the Pacific without getting a cramp. Your strength and endurance are enhanced now. Or would be if you could feed.” Her lips turned down. “Sorry for the reminder.”
“It’s okay.”
“We have powers of persuasion over humans, and over those that we sire and regularly feed. It’s not our instinct to feed from one vampire unless they’re our intended mate. Vampires are notorious for drinking around.” She grinned, flashing two sharp canines. “Our true mate would never control us in that way because it hurts them, too.”
“In what way?”
“When vampires—true mates—bond, there’s a splitting of the soul. A small part of one soul attaches to the other, and vice versa. Anything your mate does to hurt you, will also hurt them. Instant karma, baby. It’s like you’re one person almost. If one dies, the other one follows.”
“Sounds intense.”
“Shitty design flaw, if you ask me. That’s why a lot of vampires choose to ignore the pull to partner up. It doesn’t work that way if you are bonded by someone who isn’t your true mate. They steal a part of your soul, but don’t give any of theirs back. That’s why Jax can drink and you can’t. That’s why if you die, he won’t. But if he dies, you will.”
Shiloh’s eyes grew impossibly wide. He has a piece of my soul. The pull I feel towards him—it’s not him I’m drawn to. It’s my soul trying to come back together. That day in the parking lot. The reason she broke her arm. He’d already bonded with her. How many times had he done this? How many had died because of his twisted game? How many more unstable minds were acting out the same script?
How long did she have until her time ran out?
“So any psycho vampire can run around biting and bonding random victims, condemning them to die?”
“Yes.”
“That’s insane.”
“It keeps the population in check.”
Shiloh’s chin dropped as she looked at Margo. Christ, what a heartless comm
ent.
“What? It does.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Anything else you want to know?”
She might be thoughtless, but she was an open book. Shiloh was going to take advantage of that while she could. “How do vampires bond? I mean, it’s not just sex, is it?”
“No. It happens when a chemical is released by the brain into the bloodstream and injected into your intended through a bite, and through sexual intercourse. It never happens by accident. If the intended isn’t a willing recipient, their body will reject it.”
“What if you think you’re true mates, but it turns out you’re not and it’s too late?”
“Then you’re screwed in an unhappy partnership for life, or one of you will die—the one who accepted the bond from the other.”
No divorce for vampires. They’d want to be damn sure they’d found the one. How could Devlin be sure Shiloh was his true mate?
“You said you’ve worked for Devlin before. Two hundred years ago.”
“Yes.”
Shiloh swirled her bread in the bloody curry sauce, making patterns. “Why did he disappear?”
“I have no idea. That’s a question you’re going to have to ask him.” Margo pushed her stool back and stood.
Skin prickling, Shiloh panicked. “Wait.” Her first chance at getting any answers was about to walk off. “Devlin told me that he hadn’t been reborn. He’s definitely a vampire, so how is that possible?”
The corner of Margo’s lips crept up until her smile was resplendent. “Magic.” Her eyes flicked to somewhere behind Shiloh. “He’s one of a kind.” She knocked once on the countertop and moved towards the door. “I’ll catch you later.”
“Thanks for dinner. And the talk.”
“You’re welcome.”
Margo ducked out of sight just as Devlin’s hands landed on the bench either side of Shiloh. His warm breath fanned across her neck. “How’s the food?”
The food was tasty, but his scent was better, intensified even more by the smoke. “Yummy.” She leaned away, stretching the space between them and reconstructing an invisible barrier. “You okay?”