by J. M. Adele
This is possibly the worst thing I’ve ever done.
Shit, shit, shit.
Damn it, I don’t have a choice.
“Because I want you to help me search for info, and I don’t want it to be tracked on my computer. I know they’re watching me.”
He lifted his chin, his chest expanding. “What are you searching for, because I can’t go hacking into—”
“Shh. Relax. I want to know more about Jax. Why he took my sister. Why he used me. I deserve to know the truth. I think I can trust you. I can’t trust any of the others. Not even Devlin because he wants to keep me in the dark. He knows what’s going on. I should know, too.”
Zain watched her under a scrunched brow.
He hadn’t said no yet. That was a good sign. She figured she could push a little more. “Are there cameras in your room?”
“Yes, but I disabled them.”
A devious smile spread across her face. “Let’s go.” She picked up her pace, taking two steps at a time.
He jogged to catch up. “Uh, I can’t take you to my room.”
“Why not?”
“D would cut off my balls.”
Sucking both lips into her mouth she lowered her gaze to the floor, brainstorming a solution. She needed his help. “If I go in my room, have a shower, and pretend to go to sleep for about a half hour, will that give you enough time to loop the camera feed, so it looks legit?”
“What if he comes looking for you?”
She had no right to put Zain in this position. But wasn’t he supposed to be babysitting her? What would it matter if Devlin found them together, surfing the internet? Even the weakest of justifications was enough for her to take the risk if it gave her any hope of saving her sister. Sorry, Zain. “I’ll take my chances.”
“I dunno. I like my balls attached.”
“Please? I need to find her.” Dead or alive, Lanie had to come home.
Zain let his eyelids fall as he caught his lip ring between his teeth. Threading his fingers, he put his hands on his head. “Ah, fuck. Okay, go. I’ll give you forty minutes. Wait for my signal.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t know what his signal was supposed to be, but she didn’t wait around to find out either. He’d agreed to help her, and that was more than she could’ve hoped for.
After diving in and out of the shower, Shiloh tossed the covers over herself and turned on her side to face the door. Was he going to knock? No, they’d have cameras in the hallway, too. A text message? No, she didn’t have her phone and they’d be tapped into that anyway. She thrashed her legs and rolled to her back, forcing a breath out of her nose. Shit, she was supposed to be pretending to sleep.
She did her best to relax, her thoughts probing her deepest connection—her life-force.
Water.
Raindrops peppering her face.
Emerging from a bath, goosebumps erupting over her skin.
The cool rush of liquid over her tongue.
Water threading through her fingertips.
When she swam, she became so engrossed it was like she was one with the liquid medium. Like she could blend her molecules and get it to do whatever she wanted. It came to life, pushing her along as much as she dragged her body through it.
In a split second something changed. She was somewhere else. Someone else.
Her heart drummed a comfortably fast tempo, doubling the time of the booming bass beat from outside. Tranquility permeated the tiny space she was in. Water surrounded her, holding her buoyant. No, not water. It tasted salty and felt hot. She couldn’t see anything, even when she peeled her eyes wide.
Squeezed in as she was, her arms and legs had little room to do anything but fold against her. The walls of the space were stretchy and thin, but strong. She stretched her arm—her limb not quite following the instruction—like the message from her brain was speaking a foreign language her body didn’t understand. She wasn’t in command of her own flesh. Not yet. It would take time, but she’d learn.
She was nearly ready to leave. Nearly strong enough.
A dull sound vibrated through the fluid cocoon. A familiar, comforting sound. Abruptly it increased in volume, until it nearly split her eardrums. The beat coming from outside doubled until it matched her heart’s rhythm and she sloshed around as her cocoon jolted her this way and that. She didn’t understand. Something wasn’t right. Was it time to leave already?
Something hard and cold pierced the space, plunging deep into her leg and through her ribcage. Intense pain struck her heart, stopping it dead. Fluid drained from the cocoon as her body was drained of life.
No. I can’t go; this isn’t supposed to happen.
Her thoughts narrowed to a pinpoint. She reimagined the ending. Plugging up the hole and sucking it all back in, bringing herself back to life.
Shiloh felt a touch on her arm, her eyes springing open as she muffled her scream. The ceiling was inches from her face before her body crashed back to the bed, water drenching the sheets.
Zain was looking at his hand, apparently tracking a trickle of blood as it ran down his wrist. “I—”
The room spun as she sucked in a breath. Blood splatters covered his clothes. What have I done? Oh, my God. What have I done? “Zain! Are you okay?” She reached for his hand, freezing at the sight of the bloodbath all over the bed. All over her. It was her blood, not Zain’s. But the smell—Jax’s smell—gripped her by the throat and squeezed.
“My hand passed right through yours. You weren’t . . . solid.” Zain’s head wobbled on his neck, eyes widening as he reached for her.
What? How was that even possible?
Stumbling to the shower, she wrenched the faucet as far open as it could go, not caring that it was freezing cold. Red washed down her body. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is it time already? That vision—she’d seen her death. But she’d been an innocent unborn baby. God, it was so real.
Chasing her shivers with a tentative touch, she couldn’t find any obvious injury. There wasn’t any pain. If anything, she felt invigorated. The water swirling down the drain started to clear, so the bleeding had stopped. If there had been any bleeding at all. She screwed up her nose. The blood carried the devil’s scent, just like her own, but it was much stronger. If it wasn’t impossible, she would’ve sworn it had been spilled by Jax’s own veins.
Sliding her back down the tiles, she plonked on the floor under the chilled spray. She didn’t want to know what had happened. She didn’t want to go back to the bedroom. She couldn’t face cleaning up another disaster.
Had that been a warning shot? A heads-up to prepare because death was on her heels, or the confirmation that she wouldn’t even see it coming?
How much longer was death going to toy with her before it struck?
Shiloh almost wished it was over already. If it wasn’t for Lanie . . .
Her head jerked up as a soaked ball of material flew past the shower, landing in the bath with a slap. Next came a couple of pillows.
“I’m coming in. If you’re not decent, now’s the time to say so.” Zain waited through her silence for a solid minute before he entered, carrying the mattress.
He dumped it beside the bath, his cautious eyes finding hers. Reaching into the shower, he fiddled with the faucet, the water turning from icy to a warm embrace. “Are you in one piece?”
Shiloh dipped her chin in the affirmative.
His brow wrinkled as he looked her over before returning to the bath to rinse the bloody mess she’d made.
He was cleaning up after her.
She had no words.
Sitting up, she turned off the flow and crawled out to wrap herself in a towel.
He kept his back to her, diligently scrubbing at the sheets. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you, but I think we’d better be safe and keep a distance from now on. You’ll have to sleep in the chair, or on the floor tonight. The video feed to your room is on a loop, but I’ll have to flip it back in the morning. I ca
n wrap the mattress in plastic to make the bed look normal for now. We’ll figure out how to ditch it tomorrow.” His voice trembled, almost stuttered.
She didn’t reply. Her brain was still stuck on keep a distance. Keep a distance. Keep a distance.
She’d lost her biggest ally. Her only ally. And someone who could’ve possibly been a friend.
Fuck.
She welcomed the tears gathering in her eyes. Water always knew how to bring comfort, even if it meant purging her system was required. Crying was the one thing she could do.
“I’m sorry.” Zain’s shoulders curled in as he kept his back to her. “It’s better this way. I won’t mention this to anyone. They’ll know I screwed around with the feed. But if you want to say something, I won’t hold it against you. Do what ya gotta do. Maybe the doc should know about this.” He hung his head for a beat before continuing to rinse the material.
He was right. It was better if she left him alone and just trusted Devlin to find her sister. How could she help anyone in the state she was in? Maybe that was why he’d shut her out. Maybe her body was breaking down faster than she knew. Didn’t Lanie’s kidnapping mean that Jax had already written Shiloh off and moved on to her younger sister? But the question of what he wanted with Lanie still remained unanswered.
The tiled walls closed in. She leant against the vanity, sliding back one cheek at a time until her butt was beside the basin and her spine was against the cold mirror.
“Just leave it, Zain.”
“I got it.”
“Forget it. I’ll clean it up. There’s clean sheets and towels in the closet. I’ve done this before. I can handle it.”
“I don’t think—”
“Get out.”
His gaze collided with hers, his pupils huge. “Huh?”
“Leave.” She choked on the word. “Please leave.” While you can.
He dropped the sheets, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans as he hurried out.
Barely breathing, she let her head fall onto the mirror with a thunk. Her thoughts scattered until all that was left was a void. It was easier—less painful—to think of nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Because if she acknowledged the reality of her position, she would shatter into a million pieces.
Sloppy
Margo combed her fingers through her blue hair, pushing it up so it spiked in all directions. “It’s gotta be him. Twenty bodies pulled from the Hudson, all of them drained of blood, with their throats hanging by a thread? Come on, Sienna.”
“Forensics are still at the scene. We don’t know anything just yet. It’s unlike him not to clean up his tracks.”
“I ain’t waitin’.” Devlin crossed his arms, taking a seat on one of the desks in the control room. “We gotta check it out. Lock, Ren, I want you there. Take a team with you. Not the kid. I need him here riding the keyboards. Margo and Myles, you’re with me. We ain’t leavin’ Shiloh. Jax can’t do nothin’ with Lanie until her birthday. Until then, Shiloh is safe, but after that—” Devlin clawed the edge of the desk, splintering the wood. “After that, he’s gonna be pissing blood from every orifice. Let me know what ya find. If it’s him, hold him until I come. If he dies, she dies. That ain’t gonna be good for the one with the loose trigger finger, so keep it tight. Go.”
His team left the room, led by Sienna. Zain pushed his chair back like he was going to follow. “Zain.”
The kid’s head cranked around, his hand pausing its tug of war with the zipper of his hoodie. “Yeah?”
“I heard you got my girl safely to her room last night.”
He made a choking sound before shifting his butt back in his seat. “Uh, yeah.”
“I also heard you gone back to check on her this morning.”
“The doc gave her some meds last night. I wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“Is that right?” Devlin’s face remained relaxed, but inside he was strung like a guitar. The kid was hiding something. He could feel vibrations coming off Zain’s skull like he’d stowed a beehive in there. If Zain was playing him, Devlin wasn’t gonna sing no melody. He’d snap and cut the little fucker. “And was she?”
“She was still sleeping. It was strong stuff.” Zain tugged on the cord of his hoodie, his gaze meeting Devlin head on.
He cocked a brow. That wasn’t what Myles had told him. Devlin’s lip curled at the corner. It stung that the IT guy knew more about his girl than he did. What the fuck had the doc given her? Damn it, I should have stayed with her.
Why didn’t I?
“Anythin’ else you wanna tell me?”
A soft voice interrupted them. “Devlin.”
His eyes shot to the doorway. The sight of Shiloh had his heart punching a few extra beats onto his ribcage.
“C-can we talk?”
He didn’t like the lines on her forehead or the meekness of her voice. Nor the way her eyes sunk into dark pits above sharpened cheek bones. He fucking loathed the fear pulsing off of her. The way she gripped her right elbow while her right hand curled into a fist by her side. The way her shoulders reached for her earlobes. Her gaze colliding with Zain’s before falling to Devlin’s chest.
Nose twitching, he wrenched himself to his feet. Jax. She fucking reeked of him. “What the fuck?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“That ain’t the sorta shit I wanna hear coming out of your mouth. Why is Jax’s stench all over you?”
Her brows climbed. “Is it that bad?”
“Fuck yes, it is. What the fuck, Shiloh?” He gripped her by the shoulders, running his hands down her arms to reassure himself that she was still with him. “How—?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes squeezed shut. When she opened them, it was Zain in her sights, not Devlin.
His head swiveled to the kid, vision blurred with smears of red.
Zain crossed his arms, tucking his hands into his armpits as he watched Shiloh. “I can tell you what I saw, but I can’t explain it.”
I’m gonna kill him.
Her hands crept under Devlin’s shirt and around his waist, calm siphoning into his skin. “Promise me you’ll hear him out. Don’t hurt him.”
He eased her to his side, facing Zain. “I ain’t promisin’ nothin’. Fucking tell me what happened before I lose my shit.”
“I was dreaming. I think. Or—I dunno. I spaced out for a few minutes and it was like . . . like I was in my mother’s womb. I heard our heartbeats and her voice. Then she started yelling and—” Shiloh’s hand flew to her throat as she choked on the word. “She must’ve been stabbed. The blade went through my leg and into my chest. I died.”
Fuck. She remembers.
Two hundred years ago in San Jose, she’d been taken from him. She’d had another name, another body—but it was her soul, coming home to him. And she’d been taken before she was even born.
His throat clamped shut, his mind packing the memory back in its box and sealing that shit with ten rolls of duct tape.
Dragging in a breath, Shiloh continued. “That’s when I woke up. I was nearly touching the ceiling.” She snapped her mouth shut, darting a look at Zain.
“She was floating. But she wasn’t—” He rubbed a hand across his forehead. “She was made of blood. Not flesh, or bone, not even hair. Just blood. She kinda just . . . splashed onto the bed.”
“Splashed?” Fuck me. Hunger roared in Devlin’s gut. He couldn’t deny his craving for her blood. But, damn him, the fear of losing her stirred his stomach until the thought of feeding made it shrivel to the size of a walnut.
“Yeah, but then she was solid again. I told ya I couldn’t explain it.”
“Who the fuck was on the monitors last night?” He speared Zain with a look.
“I asked Zain to loop the feed,” Shiloh interjected.
Heat blazed behind Devlin’s eyes as he tried to lunge at Zain, but his body wouldn’t obey his command. A growl rumbled from his lungs. Again, he tried, coming up against a
barrier. Looking down at Shiloh, he saw flecks of color lighting up the caramel of her irises and an ethereal glow skimming under the surface of her skin. She rested a hand on his chest, her eyes pleading as she shook her head.
She had power over him. And fuck him, it was turning him on. His arm tightened around her back. “Why?” What was she trying to hide?
“You think I like being on display? You can’t keep me in a glass jar like a specimen to study. You won’t tell me what’s going on. You ordered me away. I forced Zain to help me.”
The tension in Devlin’s shoulders drained as he emptied his lungs in a rush. She was right. He thought he was protecting her, but he’d caged her. Taken away her rights.
The sparks in her eyes settled and her glow faded as she dropped her hand. He wobbled as the force holding his body eased off.
“I want to know more about Jax.”
Devlin’s nostrils flared. “Why can I smell him?”
“My best guess? We bonded. He was feeding me. My blood is his blood. That’s the only thing I can think of.”
Devlin ground his teeth and shook his head, denying her theory. “Nope. You smelled like you, not him. His scent faded after he ran.”
Shiloh blinked, her hand reaching for her elbow again.
“He’s right. You didn’t smell like him before,” Zain added.
Devlin cracked his neck, narrowing his eyes at the kid. Why was he still here? “Go play somewhere else.”
The kid left so fast he sucked the air out of the room.
Shiloh turned in Devlin’s arms. “That was rude.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“You’re going to turn them against you.”
“They’re vampires. I can’t trust any of them.”
Shiloh’s shoulders tightened. “But I’m a vampire,” she breathed.
Oh, babe. No, you’re so much more.
Could he break his own vow and tell her the truth?
Could he trust her not to hate him if she knew?
_____
Lanie awoke, jolting up onto her elbows, the sound of splintering wood crackling through the door. Something was on the other side trying to claw its way in. She twisted her head around, searching for anything she could use as a weapon as her spit dried to dust. All she had was a pillow. Her sheets. No lamp. Her water glass was gone.