“Can I take pictures and post him all over the front page of my magazine?” Lindsey asked as she sidled up to Adrianna. “He’s absolutely delicious, and we could make him an icon for today’s businessman. I’d do a complete feature on him, with an interview and article that would give People’s Sexiest Man Alive a run for his money.”
Adrianna laughed loudly, the first real emotion she’d let go since the day started. “Thanks for the humor, Lindsey. I’ve been stressed all day. Up until now, Terra’s been fine, but the Wicked Witch reared her ugly mug today.”
Lindsey waved off the comment. “I’m not joking, sweetheart. Your man will melt hearts and wet panties. He’s got money, obviously, in his Baroni private line suit with custom tailoring, and he doesn’t seem all puffed up about it. Tell me he’s a reasonable guy.”
That he was, Adrianna thought, but she didn’t say it. Instead, she said, “He’s not ‘my guy’. He’s…probably the best lover I’ve ever had.” She blushed as she admitted it quietly, hoping not to draw any unwanted attention.
“Even better. Come on, introduce us, and let me set up the feature. It’ll be huge for him, big for you, and our bestseller yet.” Lindsey was practically foaming at the mouth and chomping at the bit, all at the same time.
“Be gentle, Lindsey. I know you tend to chew men up and spit them out.” She nudged John’s elbow, and he immediately excused himself from the exuberant discussion over sports, turning to smile at her and take her hand. “John, this is my friend, Lindsey. She’s a senior editor at Lady’s Day Magazine, and she is very interested in meeting you. Lindsey, this is John Merritt, regional manager of Hospitality Highway Hotels for the northeast.”
Lindsey smiled brightly, and John kissed the back of her knuckles. “I was just telling Adrianna that you would make a perfect subject for a major feature in our magazine. I was hoping you’d be up for the role.”
John blinked in amazement and looked at Adrianna, she assumed for approval. She shrugged, feeling it wasn’t her call. “Well, that’s quite a compliment, considering we’re just meeting. Has Addy spoken so highly of me?”
Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow. “Oh, trust me, she doesn’t have to say a word. I see the way she’s glowing. I haven’t seen her this happy in years. And one look at you tells me at least two-thirds of the story. You really know how to dress, and you’re quite the eye candy. But I know she’s deeper than that, so you must also be an incredible individual. Quite the role model for ‘the perfect lover’, if you know what I mean.”
Her stomach not quite settled enough to stay for this conversation and her nerves suddenly on edge, Adrianna excused herself to let them talk. She wanted to go see Terra and hug her one more time before she drank herself into a stupor.
CHAPTER 15
Corinne and Angela both stared at Adrianna with very serious looks, but it was Angela who spoke first. “I don’t care what you’ve been telling yourself or anyone else, Adrianna. You aren’t just in it for the sex. You’re falling in love with him.”
Adrianna prepared to protest, but Corinne held up a hand to stop her. “You can’t stop it sometimes, Adrianna, even if you try. All you manage to do is blind yourself to the truth.” She opened her mouth again, but Corinne continued, “And besides, what’s so wrong with that? Have you seen the two of you together? You didn’t even light up like that when you thought Tyrese was the love of your life. He’s an amazing man, and unless he’s just some sort of con-artist, then he’s completely worthy of your love.”
Angela nodded her agreement, and Adrianna dropped her head into her hands, her elbows resting on the breakfast table in front of her. They’d left the wedding reception late, the last of the crew to finish cleanup, and come to the all-night coffee bar. “I can’t fall in love again. We’ve been through this. I don’t care if he’s the epitome of perfection. I’m happy for him, but I can’t grab onto it with both fists, and even if I did love him, he deserves better because I can’t commit.”
“How long have you been seeing him?” Angela asked as she sipped her caramel macchiato.
Fighting tears of exhaustion and frustration, Adrianna raised her head and thought about it. “Well, this was our first actual date, but if you count from the first time we had sex, it’s been less than a month.”
“No wonder you think you can’t fall in love!” Corinne exploded. “You have to give it some time. Honey, you see the difference between John and the trash we found online. Paris couldn’t even compare to him. It’s a joke.”
That was true. “I understand that. But let’s be real. He’s my boss. We’re about to get promoted, and I don’t want anyone at work thinking he’s the reason I’m moving up. I also don’t need any questions about relationships in the workplace. On top of that, we’ll both be travelling, in very different parts of the world. We wouldn’t ever see each other. It’s not feasible, even if I wanted it, for us to live happily ever after.”
There was silence, and suddenly, Angela cursed fiercely under her breath, a sharp enough sound for Corinne and Adrianna both to snap their heads around to look at her. “I wish you’d never met Tyrese. He ruined your life once, and that’s bad enough. But really, you’re still letting that piece of shit control you. He’s still ruining your life, making you afraid to move on and enjoy something that just might be real. Why can’t you just let that horror go and take it as a lesson learned? Remember that he was everything you didn’t want, and realize that John is nothing like Tyrese. That alone speaks volumes. Are you really going to let ancient history dictate the risks you take?”
“She’s got a point,” Corinne agreed. “Just because there’s an earthquake in California doesn’t mean people don’t rebuild. Not every earthquake is going to destroy your home, you know. Sometimes, it just gives you a good shake and reminds you to live a little.”
“And what about the work situation?” Adrianna asked, her voice emotionless. She didn’t have the strength to fight it anymore. Maybe she should give John a chance. God knew he wanted it, and she’d halfway promised it already.
“You already have a temporary solution. And when it comes to the promotion, you’ll figure out how to make it work long distance, or maybe he’ll decide not to move away. Who knows? You need to look forward with a positive attitude and live for today.” Angela’s speech was almost more than Adrianna could bear. What if she let herself fall for John and they were separated by the Atlantic? Or perhaps he decided he didn’t want to be with her after he was promoted? Worse, he could turn down his own promotion to stay close to home, with her, if they ended up a couple.
Nothing turned out fairly in love, and too many people were hurt far too often. At the same time, everything seemed to point her in John’s direction. Adrianna already loved their sexual relationship; there was no other way to describe it. She didn’t think it would be such a big stretch, should she let down that wall she kept around her, to love John as a person.
But what consequences did she face?
She supposed the least she could do was talk to John about what he expected and, within the same guidelines they had set up already, make a very slow attempt at something beyond sex. Still, her fear overrode her ability to clearly see the situation as a black and white matter, with a clear right and wrong. Her future rested on the horizon before her, but the fog in between kept her from seeing exactly what it held, and the not knowing was what sabotaged her ability to happily dive into anything.
Her phone rang and she frowned as she looked at it. When had dawn come and gone? It was after seven in the morning, and they were still sitting here. She’d have to work hard to catch up on sleep – she had to be back at the hotel early Monday morning. In the meantime, she had to answer John’s call.
She held up a finger to her friends and stood, her body stiff and sore, and walked toward the front of the café, a small haven between noises. “Hello?” she answered, holding back a yawn.
“Good morning, sunshine. Have you been to
bed yet?” John sounded bright-eyed and highly concerned.
“If sitting at a table with two other bridesmaids over coffee counts as going to bed…yes.” He laughed, and Adrianna had no idea where her sense of humor came from when she was this tired, unless it was delirium.
“Then I suppose I might have an offer you can’t refuse.” Adrianna frowned into the phone, waiting to hear what he was talking about. “Go to your apartment and find something comfortable to wear, maybe a jogging suit or something. Pack a robe, some pajamas, and whatever you need to get ready for work tomorrow. Text me your address, and I’ll meet you there.”
Adrianna didn’t know what he was planning, but she couldn’t think straight on no sleep – she was no freshman at college anymore and couldn’t pull all-nighters like this. Instead, she simply agreed and told him to meet her in an hour. She trudged back over to the girls to say goodbye, but they were settling up the bill, which was practically nothing, and talking about sharing a cab. She threw in her own share and climbed in with them, relieved when the yellow car finally pulled up in front of her building.
CHAPTER 16
As she lay in a mud bath with cucumber slices over her eyes, Adrianna smiled to herself. There was a woman outside the bath, giving her a full manicure, and her hair had been treated with hot oil and wrapped in a towel. The few spots on her skin that had grown ashy over the last few days that she’d been running around like a crazy person were already erased with the infusion of moisture and other care agents.
She had never expected anything like this, but John had promptly arrived at her apartment, loaded her and her things into the cab, and planted her here for an all-day spa session. This could possibly be the best gift she’d ever received, and he’d given her no real reason for springing the surprise on her, other than that he felt she might need it.
It was times like this she thought about the type of money she would make with the promotion and how much she could really live in the lap of luxury. It felt far too good to practically float in this dark, creamy substance, warm and cozy. She didn’t remember ever being so relaxed or pampered, and she reveled in it. She could think of a few ways to thank John when he came back to pick her up later. After all, she’d packed a bag to spend the night.
Right now, the idea of having a man who was so thoughtful and romantic didn’t hurt her a bit. All the protests she’d laid out in front of all her friends dissolved into the mud and the lotion that was being massaged into her arm right now, and she groaned in dual pleasure.
Of course, that’s because right now, she was living in the moment and didn’t have to think about tomorrow, or ten years from now. Everything in life was inside this spa, and that wouldn’t change until she was completely reinvigorated.
Adrianna had discussed some things with John on the short ride over here, though, recognizing her complete exhaustion, he hadn’t pressed for much. She’d told him how her friends had sung his praises, asked him when the interview with Lindsey was, and assured him she’d create a schedule to work around that time so she could be available to accompany him. But she hadn’t volunteered any information as to opinions regarding a permanent connection between the two of them, and she hadn’t asked what any of her friends had said to him about her.
She didn’t foresee sidestepping it tonight, though. She would wait until John brought it up, avoiding it herself and letting him take the lead when the time came.
From the mud bath, she went to a massage therapist for a hot body wrap and some work on her back and shoulders, and by the time she left, she felt like a brand new woman. A glance in the mirror made her gape at herself, the glow to her skin and the deep shine to her black hair, which was no longer braided, almost foreign. It had been far too long since she’d done something like this for herself, and she definitely needed to show her gratitude to John for this extremely thoughtful gift.
As he met her in the lobby, his face lit up at the sight of her. “God, you’re always beautiful, Addy, but today, you are absolutely amazing.”
She kissed him and blushed, responding, “When I’m a little more conscientious of my needs, I always look like this.” She giggled, a surprise to her considering she was still so tired she wanted nothing more than to watch the back of her eyelids for several hours. “I do feel mostly recovered, and I’m beyond grateful.”
He walked her outside and hailed a cab, his arm around her waist. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now, I’m going to take you to my place, where you can relax and eat something delicious and full of calories while we sip at some wine and watch a movie.”
She narrowed her eyes at him in the back of the cab, but didn’t ask questions, and she nearly squealed when she smelled the aroma inside his apartment. She rushed to the kitchen to confirm and found delicious gourmet Italian catering that would probably put another ten pounds on her hips but taste like heaven going into her mouth. She was already salivating. John followed behind her, entering the kitchen as she was already dipping out pasta into a bowl and digging into a bag of garlic rolls. He laughed, and she stuck her tongue out at him. “Our food is great, and the wedding was fabulous, but the portions are small. I’m not built to last on that kind of food.”
He came up behind her and hugged her, kissing the side of her face as she licked the scoop. “This is why I love you.”
The words were a smack in the face, as much as she’d expected to hear them, and she froze, her muscles going stiff and her heart seizing. For just a moment, she’d relaxed into this lifestyle, into having someone who loved her, into being in a normal relationship without worrying about the consequences of love. Now, all that was negated, and she couldn’t stay here.
She moved out of his grasp and turned to look at him. “I can’t do this, John. I told you, I’m not in it for that kind of bond. I need to go.”
She started out of the room, toward the bedroom where her bag was. “Adrianna, wait, I didn’t mean to say anything to scare you.” His voice carried after her, but she tried to ignore it. “Come on, Addy. You know how I feel, and it’s not like I’m asking for anything in return. Is it really such a big deal to hear it?”
She spun and faced him in the hallway. “It’s very different, John. The last time I let anyone tell me they loved me, he ran off with the same bitch he’d been sleeping with before we met. Love is just another way to make someone vulnerable, to blind them so you can use them and make them feel secure and keep them around so you have a fallback plan.”
“That’s not true.” His face was grim. “And you’ll never find that out if you aren’t willing to take a chance. That’s all I’ve ever asked from you.”
She shook her head. “No, John, you’re a great guy, and I love our time together. But it’s going to have to be nothing more than a friendship and a working relationship. I’m going to go home and sleep because we’ve got a lot of work to do this week. Have a wonderful night.” She turned away from him and kept her eyes averted the entire time she collected her things and left, determined not to let him see her cry.
CHAPTER 17
Avoiding awkward situations hadn’t been too difficult for the past couple of weeks, since Adrianna had been training on the road with another regional manager. John had gone to London when both their promotions had been officially announced last week, and she’d then made the assistant manager’s promotion to her position and Sean’s movement to assistant official. All the moving around, training and preparation were wearing her ragged, and she had little time to think about what she’d turned away, except at night when she went to bed and cried.
As hard as she’d tried, Adrianna hadn’t managed to stay emotionally uninvolved. She’d all but fallen for John, and she’d started being able to imagine a future with him, even in the short time they’d explored their little affair. If she didn’t know any better, she might have said he was the one man she could trust.
And now that it was almost time for her to take on her new role, she needed a few days off. All this running around
and making sure she tied up loose ends and properly prepared her replacement left her drained, and she was nauseous and tired all the time. She would have to start traveling on a regular basis, and that meant she wouldn’t rest the same, especially in beds that weren’t her own.
She took a four-day weekend, dreading Monday, when she would fly out to Virginia for her first official duties as regional manager. Terra had come over to check on her, as had the rest of her friends, but she’d been distracted and hadn’t said much during their visist. She knew they were worried, and Lindsey had even questioned her motives, especially as she got ready to publish the feature on John Merritt. But she couldn’t reassure them, as she didn’t feel alright, and she certainly had nothing to say about the article.
Eventually, Adrianna knew she’d settle into her life as it was now, and the memory of John would fade. His lack of contact would only make that easier. She hadn’t heard from him since she refused to return his voicemails the Sunday she’d walked out on him. It hurt, but she deserved it. She’d betrayed his trust to a degree as well.
Now, though, as she lay on her couch with one of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels, which made her feel like at least her life could be worse, she wondered if the stress and sorrow had weakened her immune system. She rarely got sick, but she had to launch herself off the sofa and rush to the restroom to hang her head over the toilet. She lost her breakfast, and her breathing was heavy and labored as she cleaned herself up. She climbed in the shower, hoping it would help, but halfway through, she was throwing up again.
The Boss's Baby (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) Page 7