Soul of Smoke

by Caitlyn McFarland

  Kai gave Ffion a disgusted look. “Like hell. Family and love don’t need magic to make them real. Or permanent. Or binding.”

  Ffion frowned thoughtfully. “I apologize. Of course they don’t. But heartswearing, as I’ve said, is significantly less...intangible. To be heartsworn comes with physical and mental consequences. When Rhys came into contact with your skin, he became bonded to you. Magically and permanently.”

  Kai slammed her heels down. Chips of rock went spinning into space. “I am not married to Rhys. I’m twenty. I’m not worrying about that mess for another decade. And when I do, I’ll take a guy who’s my own species, thanks.”

  “Kai, this is it for Rhys. He’ll never be able to be with anyone but you. Well, he could be with someone else, I suppose, but he couldn’t have what you two could have together. Heartswearing doesn’t allow for choice.”

  Kai stared. It took her a full ten seconds to find words. “You don’t get any say who you spend all of your thousands of years with? None at all? How do you know you’ll love them?”

  Ffion’s gaze went far away. “You don’t. Many times dragons who are sworn don’t know each other.”

  Confusion, fear and anger heaped inside Kai, tangling into knots that made her head ache. This whole situation was impossible. Yes, she liked Rhys. Yes, there had been something about him. Sparks. The feeling of an impending storm. But that didn’t mean she was going to freaking marry him, a dragon/man who shouldn’t exist. A soldier likely to die in an invisible, ancient war.

  Kai pressed her hands to her temples. No wonder Rhys hadn’t wanted to touch her. “Can it be broken?”

  “Technically, yes. But not without extreme pain and potential death.”

  Kai closed her eyes. If they had told her this could happen with a touch, she would’ve worn ten layers of clothing the entire time she’d been there. “I can’t become heartsworn again, can I? To more than one dragon?”

  Ffion let out a surprised laugh. “No.” Then her face turned thoughtful. “Though there is lore...” She shook her head. “Rhys only has sisters, in any case...” She looked thoughtful again, then said, decisively, “Definitely not.”

  Well, that, at least, was a relief. “He has sisters?” Kai couldn’t help her curiosity. “I thought it was only him and Deryn.”

  “Rhys is the oldest and Deryn is the youngest. Their middle sister, Seren, is back in Eryri. She’s a gold dragon—our Seeress. Her powers allow her to catch glimpses of the future, and that makes her rather sacred. She never leaves the island.” Ffion’s mouth curved in a small, wry smile. “Or at least, she isn’t supposed to.” Her smile turned sad. “She isn’t allowed to heartswear at all. If she does, she loses the Sight. But we’ve gone off-topic.”

  Kai rubbed her temples. Honestly, it sounded like this Seren, if she really couldn’t heartswear, had it better than everyone else. “What about you and Griffith? Did you know each other?”

  Ffion smiled wistfully. “We’ve known each other since we were children. I love Griffith now, of course. But I didn’t love him when it happened. Heartswearing doesn’t guarantee love.”

  “Did you love someone else?” Kai didn’t realize how personal the question was until it hung in the air between them.

  Ffion hesitated, watching the snow fall. “I thought I was in love with Ashem. I had hoped...but it was just infatuation. Ashem never reciprocated.”

  “Ashem? Seriously?”

  Ffion impaled her with an icy blue glare. “You don’t know any of us. Not yet. Don’t be so quick to judge.”

  Anger flared. A group of strangers had just declared her life over, and one of them had the gall to sit here and tell her not to be snarky. A noise of frustrated rage erupted from her throat. “That’s the point, isn’t it? I don’t know you. I don’t know Rhys. I don’t want dragon battles and hiding in caves and war!”

  Ffion pressed her lips softly together, her glare fading into sympathy. “At least he’s giving you time to adjust to the idea. Dragons don’t get that luxury. When we touch someone compatible, we’re sworn.”

  Distracted from her internal maelstrom, Kai held up a hand. “Wait, so one day you were walking by Griffith and high-fived him or something and you went all psycho on each other?”

  Ffion blushed. “We did not ‘go all psycho.’ It was...it was surprising. And overwhelming. But, again, we’re off topic. I’m supposed to talk to you about your heartswearing.”

  Her voice took on a lecturing tone. “Dragons can also become sworn to humans. In fact, dragons who have found no heartsworn among our own kind sometimes look for a human mate, and they usually find one. There are theories, but I won’t get into that now. With a human-dragon pairing, it doesn’t happen like it does between two dragons. At first, only the dragon is heartsworn. The human isn’t—you aren’t. Not until the bond has been completed.”

  Kai crossed her arms and shivered. The cold was getting to her. “All right. What completes the bond?” Not that it mattered. Not that it was something she would ever consider, no matter how blue his eyes were or how much she understood his twitchiness. He had avoided touching her like she carried the plague, so obviously he hadn’t wanted this, either.

  Ffion gave Kai the aggrieved look of a disciple about to share something sacred with an unbeliever. “A kiss. If Rhys kisses you, or you kiss him, you will also become heartsworn.”

  Kai couldn’t help it. She snorted. “A kiss? Like in Sleeping Beauty? No way. We’re not even the same species.”

  Ffion shrugged. “As soon as humans reached levels close to dragonic intelligence, it started happening. At first dragons were, to use a human phrase, ‘grossed out.’ We thought of you as a much lower species.”

  “How flattering.”

  Ffion shrugged again. “For some reason only the Ancients know, dragons can only have children with their heartsworn. Most dragon pairs only produce one or two, but human-dragon pairings can produce four or five children. Our population has been declining for years. We need the Wingless to survive.”

  “Wingless?”

  “Human mates.”

  For a second time, Kai pressed her fingers to her temples. “Wouldn’t the children from humans be human? Especially if all this...mating...is going on while human? I’m assuming I’m not going to turn into a dragon. Not that I’ll be doing any mating with Rhys.” Kai’s cheeks flamed. She was surprised not to see steam rising into the frigid air.

  Ffion put her hand to her mouth, stifling a small laugh. “No, you won’t become a dragon. Our genetics are dominant. All offspring are dragons.”

  “Of course they are. Geez, you guys don’t want much from me, do you? Marry this random guy and have lizard babies with him.”

  Ffion’s mouth twisted in obvious offence. “Never call a dragon a lizard.”

  “Fine. You’re not lizards. You’re insane, virgin-kidnapping monsters.” Kai hugged herself, refusing to look at Ffion as she rubbed feeling back into her arms and hands. Her butt had gone numb a long time ago.

  Ffion inhaled like a mother praying for patience with a badly behaved child. “Human legends aside, you can see why becoming heartsworn is important. For Rhys, it’s rather essential. It won’t be easy at first, being away from your family, but there are benefits...”

  Kai felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She stood and backed away from the ledge. “Whoa. Nope. Stop. I’ve known him three days. I’m not actually going to do this!”

  Ffion rose, as well, standing like a barrier between Kai and the snow-hidden world beyond the mountain. “We need him, Kai. If you don’t complete the bond he’ll be...distracted. So distracted he’ll be unable to function at full capacity. We can’t afford for him to be wounded again, or worse. He’s important.”

  “And my life isn’t?” Kai crossed her arms and raised her chin. She refused to believe Rhys’s lif
e depended on her kissing him; the idea was too out there, too bonkers to have any kind of hold on reality. In fact, this entire foray into dragonland was feeling more and more like a nightmare. Now they wanted her to stay here and be some kind of captive bride so one of their soldiers could keep fighting in some idiotic war that had nothing to do with her. Still, she liked Rhys. Or she had, and this had happened to him, too. “What exactly will happen to him if I don’t agree to this?”

  Ffion shook her head. “To be completely honest, he won’t let me tell you. Come. Let’s see if Ashem has stopped the bleeding.” She turned and glided inside.

  “Wait! What won’t he let you tell me?”

  Ffion didn’t respond.

  Kai hesitated, looking longingly out over the snow-obscured wilderness. Somewhere out there Juli was looking for her. She had school. Work. Family. With a pang, she realized she might truly be kidnapped. She might never see her brothers again. She might never get a chance to fix things with her parents. That had never been a big deal before, when she’d dodged their phone calls and gleefully refused their invitations on that stalker app that showed your friends your location. Now, the thought made her ill.

  Rhys...she liked him. She was drawn to him. But this was too much. He had to listen to reason. He had to let her go.

  Kai sat on the cliff as long as she could bear the cold. Finally, ignoring the impulse to slip over the edge and take her chances free climbing down an icy cliff in the dark, she went inside to face the dragons.

  Chapter Eleven

  Gone

  Kai didn’t have to see him. Even before she reached the sleeping room, she could feel his presence. Power rolled off him in waves stronger than ever, tingling in her fingertips. Ffion stood in the doorway and motioned Kai inside.

  Kai took a breath and held it, torn between thoughts of home and thoughts of Rhys. Heartswearing might be “real” and “magical,” but if it took away Rhys’s choice in who to spend his life with, it was also messed the hell up. The way he’d stared, need naked on his face, had made it hard to breathe. No man had ever looked at her like that. It was wrong, but to be so desired was a heady, intoxicating thing. To be desired like that by Rhys...

  Kai shivered, anticipation and dread warring inside her. Ffion motioned again, tipping her head toward the interior of the room with more urgency.

  Her fingers twined in her carabiners, Kai stepped across the threshold.

  It was dimmer than usual. The white fires in the walls and ceiling had been extinguished. The only light came from the fire pit in the center of the room.

  Rhys sat in a chair before the fire, shirtless, his head down, his elbows on his knees. Remnants of dried blood streaked his arm, smeared across his chest Clean, white bandages obscured the pattern of crimson scales on his torso. In the flickering golden light he looked like an ancient warrior king, his shirt a bloodstained banner draped over one thigh, his head bowed with the weight of a battle fought and lost.

  He raised his eyes, cerulean irises glowing like eclipsed stars. His lips formed her name.

  Kai’s heart gave a hard lurch, and she fell back a step. He wasn’t completely the dragon, not like he’d been a half an hour before, but he wasn’t completely human, either. Dangerous. The sight of him brought on a wave of sudden, unavoidable certainty. She didn’t love him now. Not even close. But she knew as sure as the stone beneath her feet that someday, this man could mean more to her than anything in the world.

  Oh, hell.

  Ashem stood behind Rhys, tying off the bandages. “...says no and you’re going to be an idiot, you’ll need something to help you sleep. I’ll have to go back to the meadow.”

  Rhys nodded, gaze still fixed on Kai.

  Low music drifted from the corner. Cadoc sat in the shadows with his guitar. He didn’t look up.

  Ffion waved Kai farther into the room. “Talk to him. I’m going to save Griffith from Deryn.” A bittersweet smile twisted her lips, and she went through the archway.

  Rhys sat up and rubbed his chest, shrugging off Ashem’s hands.

  Kai folded her arms. “Are you all right? Are you...does it hurt or something?”

  Rhys hadn’t taken his eyes off her. It was unnerving. She hugged herself tighter.

  “I’m fine.” His voice was rough but even.

  “Gwaladr...” Ashem murmured.

  Rhys made a quick slashing motion with his good hand, and Ashem fell silent. “Did Ffion explain?”

  Kai nodded.

  “Do you understand?”

  Kai shrugged.

  Rhys ran a hand through his hair and then smoothed it down. He took a breath and let it out in a rush. “Will you become my heartsworn?”

  Cadoc plucked a sour note. Kai’s stomach felt full of rocks. “I’m supposed to go home.”

  Rhys closed luminescent eyes. “I fully intended for you to go home. No one could have predicted this. But it happened. Will you heartswear to me?”

  She barked a humorless laugh. “We’ve known each other less than a week, and you’re proposing? I’m not a Disney princess. You’re going to have to do more than show me a whole new world.”

  Rhys’s voice took on a quiet edge. “I didn’t ask for this. The last thing I wanted was to be sworn to a human.”

  Kai almost laughed, but swallowed the hysterical sound. Now he was Mr. Darcy, proposing to her despite her inferior family and birth. It was ridiculous. She dug her nails into her palms, struggling to get ahold of herself. “What’s wrong with being human?”

  Cadoc stopped playing. Ashem frowned at Kai and folded his arms across his chest, his dark brows furrowed in disapproval. Like he’d looked at her yesterday as he’d run his fingers over her cheek.

  Realization smacked her like a hammer to the face. “You! That’s why you touched my face. You—you—” Kai could not think of words vile enough.

  Ashem shrugged. “We become stronger when we’re sworn. It would have been irresponsible for me not to try.”

  “Irresponsible? You wouldn’t even have given me a choice. ‘Do it and be done!’ This isn’t ancient wherever-you’re-from; you can’t force yourself on a woman because your hormones are jacked!”

  She rounded on Cadoc, prepared to yell at him, too. Seeing his stricken expression, her rage wobbled, threatening to collapse into tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Cadoc stood and took a step toward her. Between them, Rhys tensed, and Cadoc came to an abrupt, ungraceful halt. “I’m sorry, brânwen. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t think it would happen.”

  Kai took a shuddering breath. She would not cry.

  Rhys closed his eyes, breathing deeply. When he opened them again, the glow was muted. “Please.”

  Kai raised her hands in a helpless shrug. “I—Rhys, I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

  Rhys stood suddenly, knocking over the chair. “You’re saying no.”

  His face was so fierce that a small ball of fear formed in Kai’s stomach. Still, she nodded. “I’m saying no.”

  He growled and strode out toward the main cavern. Ashem went after him.

  Kai put face in her hands. “Please tell me this is some kind of horrible dragon prank.”

  Cadoc approached, his voice soft. “I wish it was. Are you all right?”

  Kai took her hands from her face and looked up at the genuine concern in his beautiful amethyst eyes. “I’m—”

  “Cadoc!” Ashem’s voice ricocheted off the walls like a gunshot.

  Kai jumped. Cadoc froze like he’d been caught playing with someone else’s toy. He stood jerkily and went to retrieve his guitar from the corner.

  “Cadoc?” She was dangerously weepy, but she forced the feeling down.

  Without looking at her, Cadoc gave a small shake of his head and strode past Ashem out of the room
.

  Kai glared at Ashem. “You don’t dictate who I can or cannot talk to.”

  Ashem raised an eyebrow. “I dictate whatever keeps this group functioning, as I have done for a thousand years. If you have any brains or any heart, leave Cadoc to write songs about his misery and heartswear to Rhys.”

  “If you had any heart, you’d take me home!”

  Ashem shrugged. “I don’t have a heart. I have a job.”

  Kai bared her teeth and glared at him until he left. Alone, she flopped down onto her mattress and its pile of blankets and pillows. In her head, she started to plan. The dragons wouldn’t take her home, it was time to take herself. It wasn’t like she hadn’t prepared. Maybe tonight, with everything that had happened, she wouldn’t need a distraction.

  * * *

  Kai adjusted the heavy pack on her back and swore. She’d waited until they were all asleep. She’d slipped down into the hoard with no problem. Unfortunately, Ashem hadn’t forgotten to set a watch like Kai had hoped.

  Cadoc sat just inside the entrance, playing his guitar. Outside, the snow had gone, and the moon sparkled off the white landscape—though not as much stuck as Kai had expected. That was lucky. She’d rather not try and make her way through the mountains in snow.

  She shifted, and something inside the pack clinked.

  “Nos da, brânwen.”

  Kai swore.

  Though the moon was waning, she could see when he lifted his gaze from the guitar to look at her, one brow raised. “That’s not very lady-like.”

  She thought about slipping off the pack and leaving it at the bottom of the incline that led to the cave mouth, but that wouldn’t fool him. Hoping he’d understand, she came out onto the ledge “I’m not a lady.”

  “Every woman is a lady.” He looked at the pack, then at the coils of rope in her hands. “Going somewhere?”

  She shifted, trying to get the pack into a more comfortable position. “I can’t stay here, Cadoc. I’m not going to give up my life.”