His voice was low. “Kai, please.”
Her patience snapped. “I don’t think you get it. I’m glad you did what you did. I’m so insanely happy you’re alive. I just...can’t. I’m tired, Rhys. All this crap is happening and you’re jumping back and forth like a freaking yo-yo. You want me, then you want me to leave. You need me, but I’ll make you lose the war.” She hadn’t meant to say the rest, but it burst from her in a flood. “You terrify me. You made me a puppet in my own body. Even Kavar couldn’t do that.” She dashed tears from her eyes. “Anyway, if I’m leaving, I’d better go.” She turned toward the door.
He caught her hand. Like in the fire garden, she wasn’t sure who moved first, or if both of them moved at once. But Rhys was kissing her, hard and desperate, like he was trying to brand her lips, to sear himself into her memory so that no other kiss, no other man, would ever be enough.
But he didn’t need to. Kai had known even before they’d sworn that there would never be anyone but Rhys.
Her resolve wavered, threatening to crack. She wanted to open up. She just couldn’t. She broke off the kiss and stepped away from him, feeling empty.
“It’s not forever.” Rhys rubbed her arms. She felt him pull magic into his hands. They heated, and steam rose from her damp sleeves, though to Kai his hands only felt pleasantly warm.
Kai licked her lips, tasting salt. “I know.”
She had never done anything so hard in her life as stepping away from him. Feeling his hands break contact with her arms. Knowing she wouldn’t touch or be touched by him again for some indefinite, yawing amount of time. That something, that potential brightness between them put on hold until who-knew-when.
At the last second, she stepped into him again, pulling his face down to hers, and pressed one last kiss to his lips.
She let go, but he held her, his grip crushingly tight, for a second longer. “You don’t have to. If you want to talk to me, all you have to do is let me in.” He traced his fingers along her forehead, brushing away the rain. “I want this to work, Kai. I want to be happy.” He hesitated, as if he were embarrassed to say any more. “I want us to be happy together.”
She broke away from him, turning and stumbling into the apartment, left a trail of rainwater and tears along the hardwood floor from the sliding glass door to the bathroom. She closed the door, hugging herself. She only needed a minute, just a few seconds to breathe before Juli saw her and started asking questions.
I want us to be happy together. But there were too many emotions crowding her mind to think of something as simple as happiness.
When she pulled her hands from where she’d been clutching her hoodie, two black scorch marks remained. She stripped it off and threw it into the corner with a frustrated noise. It was shredded and covered in blood and dirt, anyway.
Something clicked against the tile. Kai bent and picked up Rhys’s sun pendant, which dangled from a broken chain. She piled it in her palm, watching light catch in the yellow stone, the fine, gold links glinting at her.
She let her imagination run wild for a moment. Imagining, as she had a hundred times, that she and Rhys had met under different circumstances, that he was normal, just a guy at the climbing gym. A guy she could flirt with and fall for. A guy she could get a burger with, go on hikes with and bring home to her parents. She suppressed a small, bitter laugh at the idea of Rhys sitting in the living room, talking to her father, who would periodically push up his small, gold-rimmed glasses as he polished his shotgun.
Did she want to be happy with Rhys?
Yes. The thought was surprising, desperate and terrifying.
A knock sounded, and the image shattered. “Kai?” Juli’s voice was muffled by the door. “Did he talk to you?”
Kai stuffed Rhys’s pendant and chain in the pocket of her jeans. “Yeah.” No matter what happened, there was no question that she’d have to go to Eryri, to be with Rhys, someday.
“We’re ready to go. I have a poncho for you.” A pause. “It’s a long flight, but we’ll be with your family in time for your mom to make pancakes and bacon.” Kai opened the door, and Juli gave her a crooked, sympathetic smile. “They’re going to be so incredibly happy to see you.”
Kai returned the smile. “And you.” Home. Her family. Her life. Her house. Her bed. A freaking shower. Her smile grew into a grin as she walked past Juli. “Come on. Let’s not keep your giant, black iguana waiting.”
Kai didn’t see Rhys as they climbed back onto the roof. Ashem was ready for them, a harness around his neck and back. Juli grumbled, but Kai climbed up with ease. Following Ashem’s directions, they strapped themselves in.
Ashem took off, swooping from the side of the building and banking around. Rhys stood in one of the windows, a palm pressed to the glass, fire-blue eyes ablaze. Kai gripped the harness until it dug into her hands and her knuckles turned white. No matter how angry or afraid she was, she’d count every second until she saw him again.
The city fell away below, and Rhys disappeared from sight.
One-one-thousand. Two-one-thousand. Three...
* * * * *
Rhys and Kai’s story continues in SHADOW OF FLAME, coming September 2015 and will conclude with TRUTH OF EMBERS releasing November 2015. For story extras and more information on the DRAGONSWORN trilogy, please visit the author’s website: www.caitlynmcfarland.com.
Coming Fall 2015 from Caitlyn McFarland and Carina Press
SHADOW OF FLAME
It’s been two months since Kai Monahan’s life changed forever. Retrieved from a suddenly unsafe Colorado by Rhys and taken to Eryri, the dragons’ home in the South Pacific, she lives a secret existence. Rhys—for all his awe-inspiring power—is afraid to reveal to his people that he’s heartsworn to a human. One he’s quite possibly in love with.
Kai hasn’t forgotten the terror or pain of the moment Rhys first took control of her mind and her magic, but neither has she forgotten the fire of his kiss. When she’s discovered, dragon politics—not to mention spies and ex-lovers—threaten her growing feelings. Rhys has more enemies than he can guess, and someone close to him is playing right into their hands.
The war Rhys never wanted is coming. For either of them to survive, Kai must open her mind to him as never before. This time, there will be no turning back.
Author Note
When I started this story, it only had the Elemental (European) dragons. It was the first book I’d ever tried to write, and it wasn’t until a few drafts in that I realized how lame that was. Dragon mythology comes from all over the world; obviously, so should dragons. In expanding the dragons’ world, however, I created a problem for myself. I haven’t had much opportunity to experience other cultures firsthand. I did my best, but I’m sure that I’ve glossed over, missed out on or misinterpreted elements of each of my dragons’ originating cultures. For this, I apologize. I really did try.
Some of you may also have noticed that my dragons, ancient as they are, speak quite modern languages. Unfortunately, this came down to resources. I would have loved to include dragons speaking proto-Celtic or Old Persian, but I had a hard enough time finding people to check the languages still in use today. Let’s just say dragons keep up with language as it evolves.
For a guide on how to pronounce the characters’ names and other words, please visit my website, caitlynmcfarland.com.
Acknowledgments
This is the first novel I’ve completed, and I wa
s shocked at how many people it took to bring it into existence. First, of course, I have to thank my husband and my kids. I’ve been a raging lunatic several times since I’ve started writing, and they’ve always loved me anyway. I can’t say how much their support means to me.
I also have to thank the rest of my family and friends. My brother, Jordan, for giving me the motivation to finish my first novel. Mom, Lindsay and Ashlyn for reading this project in its earliest stages and letting me talk about it nonstop. My sister, Kristin, for reading the story and talking to me about what it’s like to be a retired gymnast. My dad, for always, always telling me I was smart enough to do anything I wanted. My friend Diane for making me stick with it (and inspiring many of the Juli-est parts of Juli). And of course my amazing mother-in-law, who selflessly watches my daughters for entire weekends so I can go to writing conferences.
Of course, I wouldn’t be much of a writer without the people I’ve learned from along the way. Deb, Julie, Leah, Alison, Erin J., Sabrina, Christina, Jenny, Kim, Rae, Charlie, Laura and Erin S. I wish I had pages to talk about all you’ve done for me!
Thank you so much to my agent, Marlene Stringer, for believing in this story, and for all of your time, effort and advice. I’ve learned so much from you! Thank you, also, to my editor, Angela James, for making the story better than I ever could have made it on my own.
Thank you to everyone who helped me with research, including my cousin Kenny, Sage Knapp from the Quarry, who taught me about rock climbing, and Professor Taylor, for correcting my Welsh. Any mistakes in this story are my fault, not theirs.
Thank you to every author whose books I’ve devoured over the course of my life, and especially to Gail Carson Levine, Brandon Sanderson and the countless other selfless writers who share their knowledge of craft online for free. Without you I never would have known how to begin.
Most of all: thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who reads this book. Whether you liked it or not, I’m so grateful you gave me a chance.
Also available from Caitlyn McFarland
and Carina Press
Watch for the next titles in the Dragonsworn trilogy, coming Fall 2015!
Shadow of Flame
Truth of Embers
About the Author
Originally from the Midwest, Caitlyn McFarland currently lives in Utah with her husband and three young daughters. She has a bachelor’s degree in linguistics from Brigham Young University. When she’s not writing about dragons or running around after her daughters, she can be found hunched over a sewing machine making elaborate princess costumes. You can find Caitlyn online in the following places:
Website: caitlynmcfarland.com
Twitter: @CHMcFarland
Facebook: facebook.com/caitlynhmcfarland
Instagram: caitlynmcfarland
Pinterest (including a board for the Dragonsworn trilogy): pinterest.com/caitlynhmcfarla
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NEVER DEAL WITH DRAGONS
Never Deal with Dragons, book one
Winner, 2012 Romance Writers of America® Golden Heart Award, Paranormal Romance
Consoling a sobbing dragon and serving pig buffets are just part of the job for Myrna Banks. Working for a mediation firm, it’s her job to get humans compensated for damages caused by the dragons who now rule. But her “typical” day is interrupted by Trian Chobardan, an old flame who sneaked out of her bed two years ago, taking her heart and a handful of classified documents with him. Myrna would love to show him the door, but he’s been sent by North America’s reigning dragon lord for help negotiating a truce with a powerful rival to avert war.
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If Carol Jenski knows anything, it’s fashion—and it’s not in fashion to consort with dragons, even though they’ve coexisted with humans since World War III. Still, she would never have agreed to take part in a plot against them. Now a dragon lord has called for her head, her boyfriend is MIA and she’s been abandoned in a foreign country.
‘TIL DRAGONS DO US PART
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Savannah Cavenaugh became a top art thief thanks to a secret ability—a dragonmorph, she can literally fly away from the scene of the crime. Next up: stealing a priceless painting out from under the snout of Lord Relobu, North America’s fearsome dragon ruler. True, she’s never had to work in the midst of Earth’s most polarizing nuptials before. Keeping her identity hidden will demand she get creative, to say the least.
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ISBN-13: 9781459290020
Soul of Smoke
Copyright © 2015 by Caitlyn McFarland
Edited by: Angela James
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and ™ are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Intellectual Property Office and in other countries.
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