“Jessie isn’t abusing me, Cara. We are just on different pages. I hate that people think everything in life is so disposable.”
“Hey, you are the one who was saying that you had just about had enough. I didn’t start down that path. You were already well down it. The path. You know what I mean. I’m not attacking Jessie. I’m trying to be supportive of you. I like Jessie. I think he’s great.”
“I know. Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just in a bad mood. Cranky. Can’t sleep. Can’t eat. I don’t know.”
“Maybe I’m psychic.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Cara?”
“Just because Sinead is pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t be. Valerie and Seamus, Sinead and Howard, maybe you guys are the last in the three.”
“Cara Siobhan, I swear to God I will kill you dead where you stand.”
I started to laugh.
Big mistake.
She actually started toward me.
I haven’t lost my hard-won, sixth-grade sense of survival.
I got out the front door before she even got close. She chased me, laughing as hard as I was, all the way to the creepy end of the apartment complex — way down by the car wash area — before we both surrendered to lack of exercise at the same time.
We were laughing and breathing heavy and finding our way back to the apartment when both of us got a terrible chill at the same time.
“Did you feel that? What was that?”
“I don’t know. Probably just a breeze between the two buildings or something.”
“No, that was weird.”
“Someone dancing on our graves?”
“No, it wasn’t that kind of weird. It was a real kind of weird.”
“Don’t invite anything bad into our lives, Teagan.”
“I’m not. I’m just saying that was weird.”
We were a little more cautious than usual when we walked into the apartment. We checked the rooms and made sure our purses were where they were supposed to be. Even checked to make sure that our wallets were still in our purses. We wandered around doing all that kind of stuff for a minute or two. That’s normal. After all, we did run out of the apartment and leave the door open. Normally my neighbors would watch out for me, but one has moved out, and Suzi hasn’t moved in yet, and the other one — the one who filmed Jerkface or at least threatened that she did — moved out in the middle of the night. She bought a house, and she didn’t want to get stuck paying off her lease. The staff in the front office are normally really understanding, and they bend the rules and let you out of your lease if you have a good reason, but they always charge at least a couple of months’ rent, and she said that money could be better spent on new furniture. I could never do that. I guess I just wasn’t raised that way. Mom always told us that it could come around and bite us in the rear. Like you never take a cookie without permission, or you will choke on it. I’m sure when we were kids it was more the power of suggestion than anything else, but my brother Seamus choked until he was blue once. Mostly because of the laughing when everyone said he was going to choke, because my mom walked into the room just when he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and he did pretty good until she left the room and he started to laugh just a little. Always really big on manners, he didn’t just spit it out like a normal twelve-year-old; he tried to chew and swallow. But still, when you lie, cheat, or steal, it is going to come back and bite you. It isn’t if, it is when.
Teagan walked back into the living room after a quick bathroom break. “This is stupid. Being raised by Mom, you would think we wouldn’t be so easily freaked out.”
“I know. It was just weird. The last time I felt like that was when Jerkface was after us. It’s probably just because he and his sister were hiding back in that area when he was watching me and I really don’t go back in that area anymore. There’s just something about having a serial killer interested in you and following you around that will sour you on stuff.”
“Probably the area or a smell or something triggered some kind of brain response. I’ve read about stuff like that.”
“Me too. The question is: why would we both have the same response at the same time? I’m going to allow myself to believe my theory. There was just some kind of breeze that came between the two buildings. The water retention pond is in the back between those two buildings. They could have had the fountain on. A breeze could have carried the mist and hit us. It could happen.”
“Okay, we’ll go with that. And you’ll keep your doors locked. You no longer have a guy across the hall that can kill with a paperclip and a bad attitude. You need to be more careful. Suzi will be living over there soon, and it would be a big problem if she got in the middle, trying to save you to thank you for being in the middle of her thing with Barry and trying to save her.”
“There isn’t anybody out to get me. Barry’s in jail. They said that they weren’t going to let him out at least until trial. He blew it. They would have let him walk if he hadn’t made me such a focus. If he’d just gone on with his life after the first blow up, it would have been over. For the record, I wasn’t in the middle of it with Barry and Suzi; he came after me that time, and I just naturally tried to stop him. I had no idea that kicking his knee would cause such damage or that he would basically lose his mind. You would think that he would cut his losses after the first time and move on. Still have a job and everything that goes with it.”
“If he were capable of that kind of rational thought, he wouldn’t have tried to kill you, Cara.”
“I prefer to think of it as having the crap kicked out of me, not attempted murder. It helps me sleep at night.”
“As long as you keep yourself safe, I don’t care how you think about it.”
“Teagan, why did you ask me if A.J. was going to be around tonight?”
“Oh, I’m so glad you always remember to come back to the subject when I get sideways of it.”
“Lots of practice.”
“I was just thinking that we could do something.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Something rut breaking.”
“Rut breaking?”
“You said we are in a rut. Let’s do something we wouldn’t normally do.”
“You have any ideas?”
“Not really.”
“It’s high school all over again. What do you want to do? I don’t know; what do you want to do?”
“How about we have a ‘come as you are’ party. Remember when Mom used to tell us about having those when she was a teen? You get on the phone, and you call a bunch of people, and you tell them they have to stop what they are doing and come to your party.”
“People are not going to do that.”
“How do you know?”
“Okay, I’ll tell you what. You call the people, and I’ll run to the store. You call me and tell me how many people said yes. All we need is food to munch on, right?”
“Yep. By the time you get there I’ll have a number for you.”
“Who are you going to invite?”
“The females of the family.”
“I’m not sure that is such a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Think about it. We’ve got Sinead; she doesn’t want to tell everyone about her situation. You said that Morgan has something going on with Liam, and since you won’t tell me what it is, I’m assuming she isn’t going to want to talk about it. Maeve has her own thing going on.”
“What’s happening with Maeve?”
“Can’t tell you.”
“I told you about Sinead.”
“No, you let me walk into the whole thing with Sinead because you didn’t tell me, and once it all blew up in my face, then you shared a detail or two, but not more than that.”
“Okay. Well, I still think we should try. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“Everyone shows up, and nobody says anything because they are all trying so hard not to talk about wh
at they are trying to keep secret.”
“I’m going to call. If they all say no, at least we gave it a try. You can’t complain about being in a rut if you aren’t willing to at least try to pull yourself out of it.”
“Fine, but if it all blows up in our faces…”
“It won’t. What happened to the old Cara who would have jumped into this without thinking about it?”
“Good question.”
“I kind of miss her.”
“Me too.”
FIVE
“THIS IS ONE of your better ideas.”
“Thanks, Troya, but I will have to admit I didn’t think of it. Teagan did.”
“Where is Teagan?”
“She ran home to get something.”
“What?”
“I have no clue. She wouldn’t tell me.
There was a knock at the door.
Valerie and Sinead walked in together.
“I ran into Sinead in the parking lot. Seamus said to say hi.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. The morning sickness was pretty bad there for a little while, but it seems to have calmed down.”
“That’s the way it was with Jordan. It was really bad at first, thought I had the flu, went to the ER because I couldn’t keep anything down, and they told me I was pregnant. My mother about had a heart attack. I’ll never forget the look on her face.” Morgan looked lost in time.
“I’m sure that was difficult.”
“The mess I went through with my parents was worth it. I’ve got the world’s best son now, and that is all that matters.”
“Have you told your parents yet, Valerie?”
“They are thrilled. The only person who hasn’t reacted very well is my boss. I don’t think it ever crossed her mind that I would just quit my job. Everyone kind of assumed that my job was my life. In reality, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a stay-at-home mom.”
“Well, just shows how much I didn’t know. I would have bet a lot that you and Seamus didn’t really want to be tied down with kids. You are always traveling all over the place, and Seamus is, well, Seamus.”
Everyone laughed.
Becca was the next to arrive. Rory’s wife was born to be married to Rory, as he was born to be married to her, and their kids are not only adorable, but they are also happy and healthy and loved on a cellular level. Rory and Becca are so young, but they are so domestic. Sometimes I feel like I’m really behind on the whole life timeline thing when I compare myself to them. “How’s Rory and the kids?”
“They’re great. He was supposed to work tonight, and something happened at the station, and they gave him the night off. Not five minutes later you called. We hadn’t had time to make any plans, so here I am.”
“Must be nice to have a night off.”
“I nursed the baby just before I left. Told Rory if she starts acting like she’s hungry, he’s on his own.”
“Does she take a bottle?”
“When she’s in the mood. If she gets fussy, he can just lay on the couch with her and watch television. When he does that, with her on his chest, she’s asleep in seconds. Works every time. He’s so warm, and his heartbeat is so strong, it just knocks her out.”
“I knew he was good for something.”
Maeve arrived just before Teagan.
Ten minutes later, the table was full of high-calorie, no-nutrition food and drink.
Once everyone had several things to graze on, Teagan made an announcement of sorts.
Surprised me.
“Okay, I lied.”
“About what?”
“This isn’t really as spontaneous as I wanted everyone to think. I’ve got something I want to do, and I want your help, and it has to be done before Mom and Dad get back.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“It’s not. I’ve got my laptop out in the car. On my laptop I’ve got about twelve hundred pictures. I want to make a slideshow out of them for Mom and Dad’s welcome home party.”
“What party?”
“That’s the next discussion. I think we need to have a party when they get back home, to let them know how much they were missed. And I think the party should be in their house. And I think we need to paint the kitchen and get the carpets cleaned, and maybe a new toilet in the new bathroom, and I don’t think they would be offended if we did new towels in there too.”
There were several discussions going on at once. Our family is famous for each individual to be involved in at least two discussions at a time. Even the “married-ins” can do it. It is a requirement.
It was decided that Teagan is brilliant.
After several more minutes of discussion it was decided that it would offend Mom and Daddy if we hired people to paint and clean, but if we did it ourselves, they wouldn’t necessarily have a problem with that.
We have three weeks to plan and accomplish everything. We are going to keep the same colors, just freshen everything up.
We’ll have some of the guys do some stuff outside.
We aren’t really a chauvinistic family; we’re chauvinistic-ish.
No problem.
The rest of the night — and I mean that almost literally — was spent looking at a gazillion pictures and coming up with captions for many of them. Figuring out the order to place them in the slide show. Figuring out how to make the pictures flow so that it didn’t look like one long slideshow. It wasn’t supposed to be a history lesson; it was supposed to be a celebration of what being an O’Flynn is about.
Then there was music to decide on. We used everything from Irish folk music to Motown. I wish I’d captured the image of all of us singing “Mama” from Boyz to Men. Teagan played it for everyone to decide on. I don’t know where she ever heard it, but when we were little, my mom would listen to that song over and over again and cry. Not sure why. Not sure if it was about her mom or us or what.
We were about to hit the done button, when Maeve said, “I’ve got something to say.”
What? Everyone else seemed to think it was something about the slideshow we’d just created. I, on the other hand, figured it was something else completely.
She had everyone’s attention.
“I was going to wait until Mom and Dad got home and come out to them first. Cara thought I should, but Cara doesn’t run my life, and I want to share something with all of you.”
Sinead muttered something about me thinking I run everyone’s life, but I let it go.
Becca laughed and said, “Coming out? You make it sound like you’re gay.”
“I am.”
“What?”
“I’ve known for a long time. Since I was a kid. I just didn’t want to accept it. I’ve found someone I love, and I’m not willing to keep her a secret and make both of us uncomfortable just so that everyone else will be comfortable.”
Teagan leaned in. “Wait. What?”
“You heard me.”
“But…”
The room went silent. No one wanted to say something they would regret someday. You can never take back the first words out of your mouth in situations like this. The situations that cause most people to blurt out something they later wish they hadn’t said, those are the situations you need to keep your mouth shut.
Maeve challenged, “Go ahead, Teagan. Say what you were going to say.”
“I’m not sure what I was going to say. I’m surprised?”
“Really? That’s what you were going to say? It sounded to me like you were going to argue or something.”
“What is there to argue? If you are a lesbian, you are a lesbian. Doesn’t change anything for me.”
“You’re all so full of shit.” It was Sinead who spat the words, not Maeve.
Becca sputtered, “What?”
“Are you guys so shallow that you can’t even admit that your sister being a lesbian means something to you? You aren’t a little freaked out? You aren’t more than a little surprised? That is the biggest slap in the fa
ce you could give her. She just confided a really big deal, and you guys don’t even have the decency to be honest. Well, I do. Maeve, answer me this. You’ve gotten to your age without ever saying anything to anyone in this family that maybe you thought that you were attracted to women, not men? Don’t you find that weird?”
Maeve started to respond, but Sinead cut her off. “Careful what you say because there are only a couple of options here. Either you’ve been lying to yourself, or you’ve been lying to us, or you’ve had a whole other life that you didn’t share with any of us while you lied to our faces.”
“I’ve known since I was a kid, but I wasn’t ever sure that I would act on it.”
Sinead seemed even more incensed than before. “Not act on it? What does that mean?”
“It means that I have always been attracted to women, but I’d more or less decided that I’d just get married and have kids and be a normal O’Flynn.”
Troya’s turn to blurt. “What?”
Valerie seemed so sad. “Oh, how screwed up are we that a person thought they had to hide the most basic instinct they have?”
Becca was insulted now. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sinead was standing in the middle of the room. “It means that we are supposed to be this perfect family, and yet we have all these secrets, and we don’t feel that we can be ourselves for fear that someone is going to judge us or not love us anymore. I know that is how I felt at first.”
Maeve rolled her eyes. “Sinead, are you trying to tell us that you’re gay too?”
Becca seemed to be lost. “I think guys are gay and girls are lesbians.”
“I’ve never understood that.” Troya’s first real comment. She lives with a gay guy, a friend from the hospital who helps out with the baby. She really doesn’t talk about his gayness.
Everybody seemed to think she had something valuable to add, but she didn’t.
“No, I’m telling you — ”
I tried to cut her off. You shouldn’t make such bold statements without a moment to think. “Sinead, think.”
“I’ve thought about nothing else for weeks. What I’m telling you is that Howard and I are pregnant.”
“Unless Howard has come up with something in the lab we are yet to be familiar with, you are pregnant. You and Howard are expecting a baby.” I knew Troya was trying to give everyone a second to absorb the news before they said something stupid.
The Tea Series Page 7