“You must have put a lot of thought into this.”
“Haven’t been thinking about much else since I sat in the dark and waited for Jessie to show up and break your heart.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Sometimes you have to hurt to get better. It’s like the mole just below my knee.”
“I’m gonna need more words, dingleberry.”
“Remember? I always had a little mole just under my left knee. Every time I’d shave my legs, I’d shave the top off of it. I don’t think you’re supposed to shave off moles, and it hurt, and it would bleed for a while. I got to the point I had a little furry square around the stupid thing because I didn’t want to shave it anymore. I finally decided that a furry square was not the answer, went to the doctor, and had the mole removed. It took three stitches. I thought that would be the end of it, and it was a simple solution.”
“What happened?”
“That’s when I found out that bandage adhesive and I don’t get along. They said I could keep a bandage on it. I thought it was disgusting to see the threads on my leg. Looked like a very short caterpillar was in love with my knee.”
“You’re weird.”
“That has been established. Anyway, the area where they put the stitches was fine, but then the area where the adhesive was on my leg got all puffy and red, and then when I pulled off the bandage, everything that was covered by the adhesive kinda came with the bandage. It was a mess and an open sore, so I had to put a bigger bandage over that area. Tried a different tape stuff. That didn’t work. Evidently, it had the same adhesive in it. By the time I was done with my three little stitches, I had a mess on my leg that was about six square inches, hurt, and I thought I was scarred for life.”
“Why was I not aware of this?”
“Are you kidding? You would have made fun of me. I remember when you had that knee surgery.”
“When I blew out my knee in soccer?”
“Yeah, you wouldn’t even take the pain meds.”
“I hate pain meds. They make me feel stupid.”
“Yeah, well, I would have taken pain meds for my adhesive injury. I’m not like you.”
“Okay, I get it, but I’m still not totally clear on the whole thing. How is your furry knee the same as Jessie having a baby? A baby is a big deal.”
“True. It sounded better in my head.”
“No, really, I get what you’re saying, Cara. I can live with shaving off the mole every time I shave my legs. I’m gonna take that as me living with Jessie dealing with Joy ineffectively. Or I can do something about it. Something that might be a little bit painful, but make everything easier in the long run. I’m gonna take that as learning to trust Jessie enough to allow him to deal with Joy in the way he sees fit. If I have a problem, it’s a problem that Jessie and I need to work out and show a united front. I don’t have to be there. And the whole bandage thing, I don’t need to cover anything up. It’s gonna be a little bit ugly for a while, but if people don’t want to see it, they can just look the other way. This whole process is what’s best for Jessie and me and our family, and if people don’t like it, screw ‘em.”
“Well, I was thinking the bandage thing was more about making a simple problem more painful and complex, but I like yours better. Go with yours, Teagan.”
“You’re smarter than you look, dingleberry.”
“Thank God.”
“Anything else?”
“When I was thinking about it, the thing that helped me was Sinead.”
“How’s that?”
“What if all of this was Sinead? She’s pregnant. What if Howard decided that he was going to move on?”
“Did she say something?”
“No, this has nothing to do with Sinead. Howard wants to marry her and take care of her and smother her with kindness, which is driving her crazy. If you have a problem in life, having a boyfriend and family that adore you is a good problem to have.”
“True. You were saying?”
“If Howard took off, our family would jump on ‘Team Sinead’ pretty quick. We all think Howard is a good guy, but if something went wrong, we’d probably all assume that he was a jerk and didn’t deserve someone like Sinead. At the same time, his family would all assume that he offered her the world and loved her completely, and Sinead is crazy.”
“You’re right.”
“I think before we all form a ‘Team Jessie,’ we’d better let some time and distance sort everything out. Only the legal stuff has to be figured out right away. Everything else can be dealt with slowly. Right?”
“You’re right. For a person that isn’t married, doesn’t have an unexpected baby in her life, and didn’t even know how to pick out her own clothes a year ago, you’ve really grown into yourself, Cara.”
“It’s been a hell of a couple of years. For me, mostly good.”
“You can say that after Barry beat the crap out of you? Crazy bad stuff happened one thing right after the next. You are beyond weird.”
“All that stuff happened, but look at the good stuff. I have A.J. I have Evelyn and Jordan and all the other new kids in my life. I love my job. Mom and Daddy got to go to Ireland. Remember, bad things are like rocks. Good things are like feathers.”
“I actually tested that whole thing when I was a kid. That carrying around bad things is a lot more work than carrying around good things.”
“What?”
“Remember when you and that girl used to walk to kindergarten every day?”
“Jeanie?”
“Yep, her. Mom used to follow you.”
“I never saw her.”
“Nope. I was with her, and if I was perfectly quiet, I got half a Hershey bar when we got home.”
“Half? What the hell? I only got one square when I got the stitches out of my foot. And everybody else got one square for being good while they waited. You got a whole half?”
“Focus, dingleberry.”
“Sorry. You guys followed us to school.”
“Not every day. Just once in a while to make sure you guys weren’t doing anything you weren’t supposed to be doing.”
“We never did. We were so boring.”
“Still are. Anyway, remember that house with the huge Halloween tree?”
“The one they put sheets in every year and then set up some kind of recorder to scream at us. Scared the snot out of me every year. Yeah, I remember.”
“There were always feathers on the grass. They must have had a zillion birds living in that tree. Mom said it was a friendly tree, and that’s why all the birds lived there. Anyway, I’d pick up feathers. Mom would always remind me about the rocks and the feathers thing. I collected enough feathers to carry mites into our room and infest it for years.”
“Great. I itch just thinking about that.”
“Once I had enough feathers, I decided I would spend two days doing what Mom always talked about. Every time I had something bad happen that I wasn’t willing to just let go, I picked up a rock. The bigger the problem, the bigger the rock.”
“I’ve had a few boulders in my time.”
“I wasn’t even in school yet, Cara.”
“Sorry.”
“Every time I had something good happen to me…”
“Like half a freaking Hershey bar?”
“Let it go.”
“Sorry.”
“Every time I had something good happen to me, I picked up a feather.”
“What happened?”
“My pants fell off.”
“Wait. What?”
“I put the rocks in my pockets. Dad brought me to Big Benny’s.”
“You got ice cream?”
“Nope.”
“Good.”
“I got Gummi Bears.”
“What? They let you have Gummi Bears? Mom said they’d ruin my teeth.”
“Dad didn’t know what they were.”
I shook my head. “There was a whole lot of stuff going on
that I didn’t even know about. I’m beginning to think my whole childhood, the one that I see as magical and perfect, was a sham.”
“That’s the thing about magic, Cara. You aren’t supposed to see all the stuff going on behind the curtain.”
“Don’t be logical and smart now. Continue.”
“We were at Benny’s Drug. I had all my rocks in my pockets. We were walking down the aisle. The one that paralleled the front windows. I took about three steps down the aisle, and my pants hit the floor. Everybody saw my underwear. I was really embarrassed.”
“You poor thing.”
“That’s why I got the pop rocks, too.”
“I hate you, you know that, right?”
“It’s a given. Thanks, Cara. What you said actually makes sense to me. I need to listen to you once in a while.”
“Don’t make a habit of it.”
“Oh, I won’t. Sorry I called so early. Thanks for listening.”
“No problem. If you and Jessie want to come to dinner, let me know.”
“I think we’re good. He’s a little bit nervous about dinner at Mom and Dad’s on Sunday.”
“I don’t blame him. Are you guys going to make an announcement?”
“Not yet.”
“That should tell you something about what’s going on in your brain, Teagan.”
“Why?”
“Because if you were half as confident in your decisions and the outcome as you want me to believe, you’d be up on the rooftops proclaiming your new life. You aren’t. In Teagan-vision, that means you aren’t really sure yet.”
“I know, I know. You don’t hide what you’re proud of.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t think you’re hiding anything. You’re just not ready to share yet.”
“Okay, that sounds better. We’ll go with that one.”
“This is a work in progress, Teagan. Don’t be so hard on yourself. This is all new. The learning curve is steep, and every step is important.”
“Thanks. No pressure there. I’ll call you later.”
Sunday was a lot of fun. Dinner at my parents’ house always is. Seamus and Valerie were beside themselves with all the planning for the baby. They’re making some major renovations to their house. The nursery will be fit for a baby celeb.
No evil came Sinead’s way. Seamus didn’t ask that her money be cut off. He actually asked her if she needed any more as she might have extra expenses. She’s still on Mom and Daddy’s health insurance, so she’s good. There was a little tension around Jessie and Teagan, but not so much that anyone noticed, much, and they didn’t make any big announcement about Jessie being a father and Teagan trying to decide if she wanted to be involved in all of that.
I know she keeps saying she’s okay with it and ready to move forward, but I don’t believe it.
Saying good-bye to Julia was about the hardest thing I’ve done in recent memory, probably in my whole life. I have no clue how Troya is going to deal with this. I think it’s great that Julia has a forever family. I just wish that we were it. Easy for me to say — I’m not the one taking care of a medically fragile baby. I know if Troya were married, she would keep Julia. I know that being a single mother is difficult under the best of circumstances, but this has just got to be killing her.
Mom called me.
Never a good sign when we’d just had dinner the night before, because if there was something good going on, she would have mentioned it then. “Do you have a moment, love?”
“Of course.”
“I was wondering if you and your sister would come by for a cup.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong here, love. Shall I call your sister, or will you?”
Mom didn’t have to tell me which sister. Teagan and I have a history of being summoned together.
“I’ll call her. When?”
“Just as soon as you might arrange it.”
“Assuming she’s free, we’ll be there within the hour.”
“Thank you, love.” And she was gone.
I dialed. Teagan must have felt the mother vibe, because she picked up in less than half a ring, which is practically impossible when you have a purse like Teagan’s. She likes those big designer ones that are actually way too big for her body size, but she pulls it off anyway.
“Mom called.”
“Oh, crap. What’d we do?”
“How do you know it’s we?”
“Because you’re calling me. So it’s either we, or it’s you, and you just don’t screw up that often, so it has got to be we.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. She wants us to come over for a cup of tea.”
“That’s not good. Cara, what’s going on? Think!”
“I have no clue. I said if you were free, we would be there within an hour. Are you free?”
“You know I’m free. I told you guys yesterday at dinner that the office is closed today. A client was sitting in a chair and ended up with a palmetto bug crawling on her leg. She wasn’t a local. We couldn’t convince her that it was a palmetto bug. She thought it was a two-inch-long cockroach.”
“I hate those things.”
“Yeah, well, try telling a woman that isn’t from here that the bug that just crawled up her leg was harmless. Damn near caused her a heart attack. Damn near cost us an account. We officially closed and had the whole building sprayed. Multiple trucks. My partner thinks that it’ll appease her. I don’t.”
“I love when you say that.”
“What?”
“When you call Mr. Fisher your partner instead of your boss. It just sounds so much better.”
“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it? I need to focus on things like that.”
“So are you ready to go see Mom?”
“I’m ready. Meet there, or do you want me to pick you up?”
“You can pick me up. That way, if I’m in trouble you can drive, and if you’re in trouble, I can drive.”
“Mom’s not going to make us cry, Cara.”
“Speak for yourself. Things have been rough lately, but not Mom rough. She could bring it to a whole new level.”
“You think it’s about the baby?”
“Why would she call me about the baby? That’s between you and Jessie.”
“Maybe she figured that you could help her convince me that Jessie is a douche.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Mom,” I said sarcastically. “She would never try to convince you of that, and if she did, she sure wouldn’t need my help.”
“Good point. I’m on it. I’ll be there in a bit.”
Mom had the kettle on and the table set when we arrived. Another bad sign. This had to be serious. I hoped nobody was dying. Cancel! I erased that thought as soon as it formed.
When the tea was poured and each of us had three cookies on our little plates, Mom looked us both over, smiled, and then lowered the boom.
“You girls are a bit of a concern for me of late.”
“What did we do?” I’d like to say that I blurted it out, but really, it was more of a whine.
“I have known each of you girls since the good Lord decided that I should be gifted with the privilege of being your mother. That was long before you were born.”
She smiled.
This couldn’t be good.
“In all those years, what have I told you?”
“Mom, we could be here for days.” Teagan gave her a shy smile.
Mom had the good grace to laugh. “True enough. I have told you that you draw to yourself that which you project.”
“Right.” My mind was racing. Where was this going?
“Girls, do you not see that the each of you has been focused of late on things that are difficult, to say the very least? What happened to my girls who always remained positive?”
Teagan sounded defensive. “Mom, we don’t always have control. Sometimes, life just happens.”
“As well it does, but let me ask you this, love. When was the
last time you awoke with a smile on your face?”
Teagan answered too quickly. “There hasn’t been much to smile about.”
“So which is it that drives the other?”
“Mom, really?” Teagan looked like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to smack somebody — never Mom, so it would probably be me if she went that direction — or cry. “I really don’t want to get into this whole discussion, Mom. I don’t want to blame the victim, which happens to be me, and I don’t want to do the whole thing about the egg.”
Mom smiled.
Scary.
“Love, just how are you a victim?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know that you choose to look at yourself as a victim, and I know that there couldn’t be a single thing further from the truth.”
“Maybe victim was a bad choice of words.”
“It is a bad choice of attitude, love.”
“Mom, what do you want from me? My boyfriend, the guy that I’m supposed to be marrying soon — remember? — the guy that gave me the most romantic weekend in the world, that guy, has been lying to me and has a baby I didn’t even know about.”
“And what does that tell you, love?”
“That I can’t trust him.” I couldn’t tell if Teagan had made a statement or asked a question, but there was no mistaking the tear running down her cheek.
Before I could bounce up and grab tissue, Mom handed Teagan one. She obviously knew there would be tears during this discussion. Great.
“Love, perhaps you have chosen to frame this in the most negative way possible.”
Teagan was spouting out answers before her brain engaged. Not like her at all. “And how do you figure that?”
Okay, there was no dismissing the tone on that one. Sarcasm. That was not good.
Mom let it slide. “You can look at this baby as a blessing or as a betrayal. I suggest to you that if you choose the latter, you leave Jessie now. You will be a burden to him and to the little one.”
Teagan exploded. “I will be a burden to him?”
The Tea Series Page 70