I never thought I would hear the words “Liam” and “extraordinary communication” in the same sentence, never mind the word “maturity” in there, too. My world really is changing.
It was Sinead that seemed to be watching the whole thing unfold with interest. You could see the insight dancing across her face.
Teagan didn’t seem to notice.
I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. “Sinead, what do you think?”
She laughed. “Nobody cares what I think. I’m the baby, remember?”
Teagan smiled. “The baby is having a baby. You grew up when we weren’t paying attention. I’d like to know what you think, Sinead.”
“Just remember, you asked.”
There was a mass deep breath taken. Sinead can be blunt. In a family like ours, where everybody is blunt, thinking that one of us is overly blunt will tell you just how blunt she really is.
“I think it’s pretty simple. You have one decision to make.”
That took everybody by surprise. Simple? Really? One decision? It seemed like a million decisions.
Teagan leaned in. “What decision?”
“Is Jessie an honorable guy that did a douche-y thing, or is he a douche-y guy that has passed himself off as an honorable one? For me, it’s that simple. If he is a great guy and he lied to you because he was scared to lose you, that’s one thing. If he is a liar, that’s a different thing. Teagan, this isn’t nineteen fifty-two, and you aren’t Cara.”
I was going to jump in and protect my honor, but I wanted to see where this was going to go.
“That seems a little simplistic.” It was Troya that commented.
Sinead turned toward her. “It is simple. Life’s simple. Isn’t that what Mom always told us? I think she’s right.”
“That’s easy to say and hard to live by,” Valerie chimed in.
“I said it was simple. I didn’t say it was easy.”
A chuckle skittered around the room.
Teagan took a deep breath and then responded. “Okay, let’s say I go with your approach. I have to decide if Jessie is a douche-y guy or if he just made a douche-y decision. I’m going with made a douche-y decision.”
Sinead looked offended. “This isn’t a game, Teagan. Do you really think that, or are you just farting around? Because if that’s what you’re doing, I don’t want to play. I know I’m the youngest, but I’ve spent my whole life being patronized, and I’m tired of it.”
Teagan’s eyes got huge. “Whoa, hold on. I’m not patronizing you. I think what you’re saying may have some merit, and I wanted to explore it from both sides.”
“That’s the whole thing, Teagan. If you can explore it from the side that Jessie is a douche, then we don’t need to talk about it anymore because the man you love is a douche and you should just walk away.”
“Now you sound like Cara. Just because I can look at both sides, doesn’t mean anything.”
“That’s where we disagree. If I could imagine anyone else as my partner, I’d walk away from Howard and let him find a woman that was worthy of all that he does for me.”
Teagan’s turn to be offended. “That’s just a romanticized…”
Valerie started shaking her head. “I think that Sinead’s right. I can’t imagine a life without your brother as my husband. I don’t even want to try.”
“Just because you guys…”
Sinead interrupted Teagan again. “You know what it means to me? It means that you aren’t all in.”
Teagan rolled her eyes. “We’re playing poker now?”
Sinead didn’t take the bait. “I think you’re one of those women that keeps her options open, Teagan. I think that you never allow yourself to be all in. You need to know that if the guy walks, you’ll be okay. You won’t be devastated. If you and Jessie broke up tomorrow, what would happen?”
“It would kill me.”
“Would it? I know you would be upset and sad, but if you’re being honest with us, how long would it be before you were okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you need to think about that. If Howard left me, I’d never be okay again.”
“If that’s true, why aren’t you married?”
“I am.”
“I meant with the paper and the whole thing, not spiritually.” Teagan smiled.
“So did I.”
There was stunned silence in the room. As usual, it was my big mouth that opened first. “Mom and Daddy are going to be devastated that they weren’t invited.”
“Mom and Dad were there.”
“What? When?”
“Yesterday. Howard and I talked after we left the house Sunday night. It was actually Troya that convinced me it was time.”
The look on Troya’s face was priceless. “Me?”
“When you were telling us about how you had found a forever family for Julia. Those words just kept bouncing around in my brain. Howard is my forever family. Why was I so worried about what other people thought? So what if I got pregnant before I got married? What difference does it make? Howard and I have been forever since we got together, and both of us know it. There has never been any doubt about what, just when. So on Monday morning, we called Mom and Dad and Howard’s parents and told them that we were getting married at the courthouse, and they were welcome to attend. We got married and went out to lunch. It was nice.”
“Are you going to do a church wedding later? A reception?”
“Nope. We don’t care about the wedding. It isn’t about the world celebrating us as a couple; it’s about us knowing who and what we are and who and what we want to be. Together.”
“I’m not sure what to say.” Teagan looked genuinely confused.
“There’s nothing to say.”
Valerie shot to her feet and pulled Sinead up into a hug. “Congratulations. The two of you will be so happy together, and that little baby will have the very best life. I’m so happy for you, honey.”
That started the cavalcade of O’Flynn good wishes. There were tears and laughter and, when we all settled down again, lots of questions.
It was Maeve that asked about wedding presents, and Sinead’s answer surprised all of us. “We don’t want anything. We have everything that we need.”
Valerie, the most corporate thinking among us, had an instant answer that made sense to me. She said, “Well, I think what we will do is ignore you. You are the baby of the family.” She put an arm around Sinead and gave her a squeeze. “We will create a savings account. We will all put some cash in there instead of buying you a gift, and you can use it for whatever. Start a business. Buy a house. Get what you need for the baby.”
Morgan laughed. “Buy a house. You’re a generous group.”
“Think of the money they saved on a wedding ceremony. We can throw that in there. I’ll throw in the cash I would have spent on a dress and shoes since I would need new stuff to cover this baby bump and not have my sausage feet kill me all day. If Teagan does that too, we’re on our way to a good down payment.”
Everybody laughed. We called Howard and yelled our good wishes to him over the speakerphone. Lots of silly comments and Teagan’s ear piercing whistles. An Irish toast or two and a proverb or three to celebrate their good news. I’m not sure if it was the total acceptance or the hormones from her pregnancy, but Sinead allowed a few tears to fall.
Troya smiled. “I’m sure Mom figured that you would share this information. Might even be the reason for her suggesting that we all get together.”
“I think that Mom knows us. She knows that there’s strength in the lot of us getting together and reviewing our lives.” Maeve mumbled around a mouth full of chips.
“That even sounded like Mom.”
“Yes, yes, it did.” Sinead’s smile was infectious.
“So now that we know Sinead’s news, anyone else want to share?”
Morgan raised a finger. “Wait a minute. We didn’t fix Teagan yet.”
“There is no fixing Teagan. S
he’s a puzzle that has print on both sides — in like colors — and no straight edges.”
Teagan shook her head but couldn’t come up with anything that would prove my statement wrong.
We watched movies and ate too much junk and danced to Mom’s favorite music: the stuff she played in the house the whole time we were growing up.
Troya was the first to fall asleep. I’m sure it’s because of depression. We didn’t talk much about Julia going to her forever family, but it has to be killing Troya on every level. She sat in my dad’s big chair staring off into space, and then she just kind of drifted off. Others followed before too long because we were trying not to make too much noise and wake Troya up.
In the morning, we had the O’Flynn traditional breakfast: slices of ham, scrambled eggs, fruit, and bear claws. Lots of tea. Orange juice. Hot chocolate. We got our stuff together and parted ways — leaving Mom’s house the way we found it, but all of us in a much better place. We got it all done and got out of the house by noon. We never accomplished that as kids.
A.J. wasn’t home when I got there. I took a long shower, which is unusual for me. It was in the shower that I made the decision. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it, but I was absolutely certain with every cell of my being that I would. Soon. This week. And I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it before I took action. For some reason, I felt like that was important.
I slathered smelly good stuff all over and blew my hair dry. I hate that it grows so slowly. I should have thought about that before I had them shave off the sides. It’s getting better. Kind of like a stylized pixie cut. With attitude. I actually like it, but I have to style it every day because my hair is so fine and oily. If I’m going somewhere important in the evening, I have to wash it a second time. Especially if I’ve been running my hands through it, which I tend to do when I’m stressed.
Hair looking fabulous and just a little bit of makeup, I went into the kitchen and started dinner. It had been too long since A.J. and I acted like real people sitting down to a real dinner, not something I just threw together because we had to be fed. I had a ham roast. Just discovered them a few weeks ago. I should have brined it last night if I was going to serve it today, but thanks to my vacuum sealer and my experiences with marinating on the fly, I mixed equal parts of salt and sugar, added the water, put it in a canister, plopped in the ham, and vacuumed the air out. The recipe I found on the internet said I should add cloves or bay leaves or some other stuff to the brine mix, but I’m a purist and just used the salt and sugar with water. I like my ham to taste like ham, I guess.
With the ham sitting in the fridge for a couple of hours, I went ahead and peeled my potatoes, found some veggies for A.J. in the fridge — instead of the freezer where I usually have lots — and when Suzi called, I held back the offer of dinner so that A.J. and I could spend the evening alone.
By the time he got home, dinner was ready, and the table was set. I even had candles and a tablecloth on there.
His smile was perfect. He came in the door tired as he could be, and three steps in, he seemed to be completely regenerated.
“What’s the occasion?”
“I remembered something I’ve allowed myself to forget lately.”
“And what is that?”
“How important us is to me.”
“Me too. Do I have time for a shower?”
“Always.”
When he came out of the shower, dressed in my favorite jeans that are old and soft and hang on his hips in such a sexy way that my heart always skips a beat, he kissed me like he meant for us to miss the dinner I’d prepared, and then he took his place at the table.
The food was perfect, if I do say so myself. Note to self: the whole brining thing didn’t work the way I thought it should. The brine didn’t really get pulled all the way into the ham. I’m going to have to check on that, but it was still good.
I had mashed potatoes, and I’d fixed potatoes au gratin for A.J. He prefers those with ham.
We talked about work and Suzi and how things were going in Old Town. We talked about the slumber party and how mature Sinead is and the fact that she’s now a married woman. A.J. didn’t comment on that much, which leads me to believe that he is either sticking to our agreement or he is really hurt that even at their age Howard and Sinead can make a commitment that I’ve not been willing to make. We talked about Teagan and Jessie and how much their situation bothers me. I hadn’t really admitted that out loud before. But Teagan’s reaction to all of this isn’t what I would have expected, and it’s kind of thrown me off balance. I think that Sinead is right. It is simple. If she wants to build a life with Jessie and she believes that he is the perfect guy for her, then she needs to suck it up and do whatever is necessary to get things back on track. If she doesn’t feel that way, then better to have found it out now. All the little insecurities and un-sureness, all the little comments she’s made since she started seeing him again, swam up to the front of my mind when A.J. and I were talking about it. I’m not sure that Teagan and Jessie are right for each other. Maybe Joynessa is a God thing. Sent to save Teagan from a really bad marriage.
Not that I would say that to Teagan. You can’t take something like that back. Can’t unsay it. Something like that would come back and haunt us both until the day I died, which would probably be the day I chose to say something like that, because Teagan would kill me dead. Then revive me so she could kill me again. It would be different if this was just a guy that Teagan was dating; then I could say just about anything I wanted. But Jessie is the guy that Teagan has always considered her soul mate. Since they were kids. I think maybe that’s part of the problem.
A.J. and I had a great dinner, and even cleaning up the kitchen was fun. We had mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert, my favorite in the world, and then sat on the couch. I was a little disappointed when A.J. turned on the television, but when he went straight to the local cable channel and showed me a little piece they did for the community announcements, I was thrilled. It would play over and over, and it was positive and a little bit campy and fun. He and Morgan make such a great team.
We danced in the living room. Talked and teased and enjoyed each other and had the very best night of my life.
I wasn’t even waiting for the other shoe to drop, which, lately, is saying something.
I called my mom first thing after A.J. left for work. “Are we doing anything about Sinead?”
There are times it bothers me that my mother always knows what I’m talking about. “She says not, love. I believe we need to respect that.”
“Not even a family dinner?”
“I offered.”
“That’s just weird.”
“It is a bit different than our way, but she is a grown young woman with a husband and family of her own, and she has the right to choose.”
The thought came to mind that my mother was never one to encourage such things — you know, choosing to do things any way other than the O’Flynn way — but maybe it was me that was stuck in a time warp, not my mother. She seemed to be growing up just fine.
“You want to do lunch, Mom?”
“Your father and I have a thing to do, love. We are planning another trip to Ireland.”
“Really? That’s great. When?”
“I’m not sure of the details of it just yet, love. Perhaps this summer or the next. We will take our time to plan out just what it is we want to see. We are blessed to be young and healthy, and we hope to be back there many times.”
“That sounds great. You should start taking your children with you. You have always said that everything is more fun when you experience it through the eyes of a child.”
“I have indeed. But, Cara, you no longer qualify as a child, love. If we are to do that, we should bring the grandchildren.” I love the sound of my mother’s laugh. Especially her ‘leprechaun laugh.’ That’s what my dad calls it. Her little laugh when she knows she’s gotten the better of you.
“Wel
l, that hurts right down to the bone. Was it not me, your child, that was at a slumber party at your very house not all that long ago?”
“Immaturity is not the same thing as youth, love.” And she laughed again.
“I’m gonna remember you said that.”
“As well you should, love.”
And she was gone.
I have to admit, it was a good morning. My house was clean. My hair looked great. My makeup was perfect, and A.J. surprised me by coming home for an unplanned lunch. He even brought the food with him.
When the phone rang, it was Teagan.
I know it’s a terrible thing to say, but two thoughts crossed my mind before I hit the answer button.
First was that she better not ruin my good mood. I was having the best day I’d had in a very long time, and I didn’t want it to stop just so that I could deal with her problems. Problems that she refused to deal with.
Second thought was that it was twelve twelve. I made a wish to win the lottery. You’re always supposed to make a wish when you see double numbers on the clock, and it had been happening a lot lately. My lottery winnings are finally on the way. Yay!
“Hello?”
“Cara, where’s A.J.?
I was so surprised by the question I answered it. “Right here, hang on a sec.”
“I don’t need to talk to him.”
“Then what the hell?”
“Cara, there’s been a car accident. Seamus called. He’s already at the hospital. Dad’s in surgery.”
“Oh, shit.” I sat down with a thunk. “What about Mom?”
I’ve never heard Teagan’s voice like that before. Daddy must be in bad shape. “She didn’t make it.”
“Which hospital are you at? A.J. and I will swing by and pick her up.”
“Cara, Mom was with Dad. She didn’t make it.”
Everything stopped. “Wait. What?”
“Cara, Mom died.”
“No, she didn’t.” Such a stupid response.
The Tea Series Page 72