“Oh, she’s shy,” Sabrina said.
“No, she’s not. I told you, she’s an actress.” Alexa lifted Lucélia’s chin. “You’re not shy. Go ahead and give a kiss-kiss to Cousin Sabrina.”
Lucélia looked at Sabrina then looked at her mother.
Alexa nodded, and the toddler walked around the chair and gave Sabrina a soft kiss on the cheek. Then she hurried back to her mother and pressed her face in her arm again. After a few seconds, she peeped at Sabrina.
Sabrina thanked her. “Obrigada.”
Lucélia clapped and laughed. “Kiss-kiss, Sandro.” She went over to her brother and kissed him. “Kiss-kiss, papai.”
“Sim, kiss-kiss papai e Primo Renaldo,” Alexa said.
Lucélia took off across the sand, and when Alessandro saw her leaving, he took off behind her. They made their way carefully down the beach to where Leonardo and Renaldo stood talking at the edge of the water. Alessandro followed at a cautious pace behind his sister, the soft sand making his footing unsure.
Alexa called out to her husband and pointed out the children headed toward them.
Both men met them halfway. Leonardo scooped up Lucélia and Renaldo picked up her brother. After the kisses were delivered, they went into the sea and started playing with the kids in the water.
Renaldo looked natural holding Alessandro. Despite being such a big man, he took great care with the little boy, who at first clung fearfully to him until he grew accustomed to the cool waves. Then Alessandro started laughing and kicking his little legs in excitement as Renaldo lowered and lifted him in and out of the water.
A sentimental twinge nicked Sabrina’s chest. She imagined him playing the same way with their own child, one with his dark eyes and dark hair.
“I know that look.” Alexa plopped a big, floppy hat onto her head. “Somebody’s ready to have a baby.”
“Oh no. Before we got married, we knew we wanted to wait a few years before we started having kids.” And since I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be married, it may never happen.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t adjust your plans.”
“We’ll see.” It was too painful to think about now. “How many more do the two of you plan to have?”
“We both want a large family, so at least one more, maybe two.”
“So those two will be born in the States?”
“No, ma’am. Leo’s very proud of his heritage. The kids automatically have Brazilian citizenship because he’s Brazilian, but that’s not enough. His father’s American, and his mother did the same thing—moved back here to give birth to him. We’ve decided that when we return to Atlanta, we’ll wait a couple of years before getting pregnant again, and then I’ll come to Rio to have the last one—or two.” Alexa laughed softly and rubbed circles on her belly. “I love that man so much that if he told me he wanted me to give birth to all his children on the moon, I’d probably do it.”
Sabrina watched her friend with envy. “You seem so happy.” She remembered when she had been, too.
“Leo and I are very happy, but we went through a rough patch a few years ago. Did you know that?”
Surprised, Sabrina lifted her gaze to her friend’s. “No, I didn’t.”
“Mhmm. At the time, it seemed all he cared about was work, and I didn’t see how I fit into his life. We hardly ever spoke to each other. I felt ignored and unloved. I left him, but I missed him like crazy. He found a way—an unconventional way—to get me back.” The corners of Alexa’s mouth lifted at the memory. She patted her large stomach. “I no longer feel ignored.”
They laughed again.
“Leo mentioned you and Renaldo were having problems. I don’t know the details,” Alexa hastily added. “He wouldn’t tell me, I guess out of loyalty to his cousin, but I’m happy to see everything is back to normal.”
Sabrina stared out at the water. The two men were still playing in the waves with the children. “It was my fault.”
Alexa lightly touched her shoulder. “Hey, whatever you did or didn’t do, at some point you have to forgive yourself. And talk to him. That was our biggest problem. We hardly ever talked and the problems just became worse. I know it’s cliché, but you’d be surprised how important communication really is.”
“I don’t know, Alexa. We’re…” She held her tongue, not wanting to say too much.
“It can’t be that bad. Love doesn’t just turn itself off.”
Sabrina sifted sand through her fingers. “I’m afraid it does sometimes. If what you do is bad enough.”
“I don’t believe it. I knew the two of you were meant to be together at your wedding. I could see how much he loved you. And when we visited you in Sao Paulo, you reminded me of us when we first got married. To be honest, Leo and I were happy but surprised when Renaldo called to say he was engaged. The way he went through women…” She shook her head. “We couldn’t believe he’d met someone because after what happened with his mother, he’d sworn off marriage.”
Sabrina’s head popped up. “What do you mean? What happened to his mother?”
“Well, you know, she left them. He hasn’t spoken to her or seen her since he was a child.”
“Wait a minute, I’m confused. That doesn’t make any sense. And why are you talking about her in the present tense? She’s dead.”
“Are we talking about the same person?” Alexa frowned. “His stepmother’s dead, but his biological mother is still alive.”
“His biological mother?” Sabrina could only stare at Alexa.
“Yeah. Wait, you didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
Alexa bit her lip and looked out at the water. “It’s really not my place to tell you if—”
“You’ve already started, so you might as well finish.”
“Leo’s going to kill me,” Alexa moaned. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Alexa, please.”
“Okay.”
When she still didn’t divulge any more information, Sabrina grew impatient. “Alexa!”
“Okay, okay. I guess it’s not a surprise Renaldo didn’t tell you because he doesn’t acknowledge his biological mother. He and his sisters consider the woman who raised them to be their mother, but she’s actually their stepmother.”
A screech from her daughter drew Alexa’s attention to the water, but when she saw Lucélia was fine and just enjoying herself, she continued. “All the pictures in the house are of Renaldo’s stepmother. When he was six, his biological mother left. A couple of years later, their father remarried. None of them speak to their real mother. To tell you the truth, I think Carolina and Beatrisa just follow Renaldo’s lead. They do pretty much whatever he says. As the head of the family, and the one who takes care of them financially, it’s no real surprise.”
“She just left? What kind of woman does that?” She didn’t have children, but if she did, she couldn’t imagine walking away from them.
Alexa shrugged. “She was very young, a teenager when she married their father. He was a lot older than her, and maybe she felt she’d lost her youth. The marriage was probably a mistake from the beginning, but she didn’t up and leave for no reason.”
“Was he abusive or controlling or something?”
“Oh no, nothing like that. Mr. Silva was a good man and loved by his family. He was a successful businessman and respected in the community. But I guess she never loved him the way he loved her. She had an affair.”
Sabrina’s stomach gave a sickening lurch. All along she’d thought Renaldo had had this perfect life growing up. How wrong she’d been. And how much worse did that make what she’d done with Mateo? What she’d done was bad enough, but for Renaldo it must be like living his childhood all over again.
“She came back for a couple of months and Mr. Silva gave her a second chance, but she left again. This time for good, leaving him to raise three small children on his own. Of course, everyone sided with Renaldo’s father, and even though he had help from family mem
bers, he ended up moving from Rio. Leo was about thirteen at the time, and he remembers the adults talking about how Mr. Silva wanted to get away from the memories and start over. He was already successful in real estate, so he set up his business in Sao Paulo. That’s where he met his second wife. He’d actually hired her to watch his children and they fell in love. She loved his kids like they were her own.”
“Where is Renaldo’s biological mother now?”
“Her relationship never lasted, but she did marry again later. She eventually moved to Sao Paulo, too. Her second husband passed away about ten years after they married, leaving her a small fortune. She never married again after that, and she never had any more children.
“I pity her. I can understand leaving your husband, but how could you leave your kids?” Alexa shook her head and rubbed her stomach. “She missed out on all the joys of motherhood, watching her children grow up and become adults. She has grandchildren now, and she’s missed out on that, too. They say she’s a very lonely woman, living by herself in a big house on the outskirts of the city. She’ll pay for what she did for the rest of her life.”
The gravity of those words filled Sabrina with fear. How could Renaldo ever be able to forgive her for what she did?
In his eyes, she must be as bad as his own mother.
Chapter Fourteen
After they returned from the beach, Sabrina showered, dressed, and went downstairs to help Mamãe Silva and Beatrisa, who had been working all day preparing for the party. The caterers set up the food outside, and by nightfall the house was filled with guests and the party in full swing.
Strings of lights hung on the bushes and on poles placed strategically around the yard, with votive candles flickering on the tables. The food stations overflowed with a multitude of traditional and nontraditional choices. Sweets like brigadeiros, the Brazilian version of a chocolate truffle, and a guava and cream cheese pastry known as “Romeo and Juliet” were served alongside chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. There was rice and beans as well as lasagna, and fish dishes like bacalhoada.
At Sabrina’s urging, Alexa took a break and sat down in a chair. Sabrina joined her around the crowded table. They scooped big spoonfuls of feijoada, Brazil’s national dish, onto their plates. Rice and a steaming pot of stewed beans, pork, and meat made up the meal, which was garnished with sliced oranges. Baskets of bread were passed around, including pao de queijo, Sabrina’s weakness ever since the first time she’d tasted the tiny cheese bread.
As they ate, Lucélia climbed into Sabrina’s lap and started chattering away. The little girl had grown attached to Sabrina and stayed close to her side at all times. As Sabrina’s gaze traveled around the table, the family atmosphere brought tears to her eyes. She’d never had this growing up.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Alexa whispered.
They exchanged a look. Alexa must appreciate the celebratory atmosphere and sense of belonging, too, having lost her parents at a young age.
“Yeah. It is.”
* * * *
Carrying a glass of scotch and a caipirinha in his hands, Renaldo walked over to Leonardo on the outer circle of the party and handed him a drink.
“Saúde,” Renaldo said. They clinked glasses and he sipped his scotch. “You’re ready to leave all this behind?”
“It’ll be hard. Alexa has fallen in love with the house, the food, my family, everything. She loves that my mother lives with us and is available to help her with the children. She doesn’t want to leave.”
“But business calls.”
Leonardo nodded. “I have no choice. Luckily, I have an idea of how to make this work so that we can live here permanently. But I won’t be able to start working on it until we move back to the States.”
“It’ll work out if that’s what you really want.”
“I do. My mother would love it, too. And besides, a happy wife means fewer headaches for me.” Leonardo chuckled. “How are things?”
Renaldo wasn’t ready to tell Leo the truth about his relationship with Sabrina. “Good.”
He hadn’t thought much about the current status of their relationship, preferring to let it be. He would just enjoy it while it lasted, because she would be leaving soon, and that’s what he wanted. Wasn’t it?
They were simply using each other for sexual satisfaction. It was a matter of convenience for now and to keep up the charade until the probation period was over. Because he couldn’t forgive her for what she had done. Could he?
And even if he could, he’d never forget, and their relationship would never be what it once was.
“Time for cake.” Mamãe Silva appeared and took her son by the arm.
Renaldo gave himself a mental shake. He was here for a party and to wish his cousin and his family farewell before they moved back to the States. His problems with Sabrina would have to be set aside for now.
He clapped Leonardo on the shoulder. “Time to sing “happy birthday” old man. I hope we don’t need a fire extinguisher to help you blow out all those candles.”
“Very funny.”
One of the caterers wheeled out the cake and everyone broke into song: “Parabéns pra você, nessa data querida, muitas felicidades, muitos anos de vida.”
Renaldo’s gaze slid to Sabrina, who stood singing heartily with everyone else, swaying from side to side with Lucélia in her arms. How well he remembered when she had learned the Portuguese words for him on his last birthday, at an intimate party for two. It had been one of the sweetest memories of their marriage.
Right from the start, her dedicated efforts to learn his language had impressed him. He liked to hear her speak it with her accent. It was cute. Sexy.
She’d always done things like that to please him. It was hard to reconcile that woman, the one he’d fallen in love with, with the woman who’d broken his heart by sleeping with another man.
He couldn’t understand it. Had it really happened? Or was he going to wake up and find out the entire episode with the photos had been a bad dream? That she was still the woman he married. The woman who’d promised on their wedding day to be the best possible wife. Not the woman who’d committed the one act, the one sin he found unforgivable.
Loud clapping brought his attention back to the party. Leonardo had blown out all the candles. His cousin reached for Alexa and planted a kiss on her lips, which resulted in more clapping and cheering. He wondered if his cousin knew how fortunate he was to have a wife who loved him and two beautiful, healthy children.
The party continued late into the night with lots of dancing and drinking. Renaldo was finally able to break away from a conversation with one of his uncles and went in search of Sabrina. When he found her, she was sitting on a stool rocking a sleeping Lucélia in her arms. The sight of her holding the child gave him pause and made him think again about the future of their marriage. He’d planned to have this type of life with her. Children, family, all of it. Again he wondered if he could forgive her.
“She’s fast asleep.” She smiled at him when he sat beside her.
“You should take her to her room.”
“It’s no bother.”
Leonardo and Alexa were among the couples dancing. As they swayed to the softly playing music, he rubbed his wife’s back. They seemed to be lost in each other’s eyes.
Seeing them like that made him want to get closer to Sabrina.
“You should put her to bed.” He wanted to make love to her. Needed to.
“Oh.” She smiled knowingly, and rose with the baby in her arms.
She didn’t get far because Mamãe Silva approached. “I’ll take her.”
Sabrina handed the child over to her grandmother and Renaldo took her hand and led her into the house.
They made slow, unhurried love to each other. Afterward, as they were lying in bed, Sabrina propped her head on her elbow and gazed down at him. She ran a hand over his chest. God, she loved him, and being free to touch him like this, to make love with him, was wonderful
. But not being able to connect with him on an emotional level was killing her. They used to share everything, but now the only part of himself he shared with her was his body.
She dragged a fingertip down the middle of his chest and played in the soft hairs.
Renaldo took her hand and kissed her palm. “Ready for round two?”
“In a little bit.”
She wanted to ask him about his mother, but didn’t know how to broach the subject. Maybe the reason he hadn’t forgiven his mother was because she had left. But the circumstances surrounding their situation were different. Sabrina hadn’t left voluntarily, and she wanted to stay married. So maybe he could forgive her.
“I have something to ask you.”
“Yes, I want to have sex again,” he joked.
He was in a playful mood. Maybe she should leave well enough alone. But she couldn’t help wondering about his mother and how his feelings about her played a role in their relationship.
“I wasn’t going to ask you that, but it’s good to know.” She swallowed her nervousness. “Alexa told me about your mother.”
Renaldo frowned. “Oh?”
“Why didn’t you tell me your mother is still alive?” she asked quietly.
His body stilled and he let go of her hand. “My mother is dead.”
Sabrina tried to tread carefully because she didn’t want him to get upset. “Not your stepmother. Your biological mother.”
“What difference does it make?” He sat up with a jerky, agitated movement.
“Because it’s part of who you are.” And if you share this part of your life with me, maybe it will help me figure out how to save our marriage.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “It would have come up eventually, but it was never relevant before.”
“It’s relevant to me.”
“Why? Because if you’d known you wouldn’t have committed the same sin as my mother?”
That hurt, but she’d known she was treading on dangerous ground when she brought up the topic. “Have you ever thought about forgiving her?” She bit her lip. Her voice had faltered a bit on the last words.
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