by Alyssa Kress
"Three times," Kenny interrupted.
Cherise cut her eyes to him.
Kenny shrugged. "Now that I've met you, it's obvious they were all terrible mistakes."
Cherise thought it had probably been obvious long before now. "Impulsive, aren't you?"
"Yup." He raised his eyebrows high, the implicit suggestion obvious.
Feeling her toes curl at the idea, Cherise skated over to the thick ice. "And the poker. From what you've described, it sounds like a very up-and-down kind of a thing."
"Oh, yeah." He grinned. "That's what makes it interesting. Never know if I'm going to wind up the night rich or poor."
"You like uncertainty."
"I adore it." He placed his hand over hers while his eyes gleamed. As if there were some uncertainty about whether or not they'd wind up in bed together that night.
Which there wasn't. At all.
"I don't." Cherise said, and calmly moved her hand from under his. "I like things spelled out in black and white. Knowledge beforehand. Responsibility."
"I know."
"You think you're going to change me. You think it's a...grand crusade."
"Nah. I don't want to change you." Kenny tapped his fingertips on the tabletop. "I just want to take you on a tour of the other side."
Butterflies stormed through Cherise's belly. But she waved her bread stick in the air, determined not to think about the spots on the tour at which they had not yet arrived. "How about if I give you a little tour of my side?" she asked.
"Okay." Outrageously good-natured, he smiled.
Cherise snapped off a bite of her bread stick. "From my side of things, a person gets himself some visible means of support."
"A job," Kenny translated, and wrinkled his nose.
"Yes, a job. Which often leads to the ownership of a car — "
"I have a car," Kenny interrupted, "most of the time."
"And a person has some money in the bank. Investments." Cherise was confident Kenny had nothing of the sort.
"Interesting," Kenny mused. "And your point?"
"My point?" Cherise blinked. "My point is — Good God, Kenny, you're how old? Have you ever given one thought to your future?"
"My future?" He looked lost. "What about it?"
Bread stick aloft, Cherise stared at him. He seriously didn't know. The man lived from one day to the next, taking his bad fortune as cheerfully as his good. Simply enjoying himself.
For an instant, one brief flicker of time, Cherise felt something that astonished her.
Envy.
He was happy. Simply happy.
Of course, he had no savings, no safety net, no plans. He spent his time playing a card game, which would hardly leave behind a lasting legacy. And yet she couldn't get around the notion that this disaster of an individual was about ten times happier than she was.
Kenny leaned over the table, his expression of bafflement gone. Radiating warmth and confidence, he closed his hand over the one she'd earlier moved away from him. "I do know one thing about my future." The devastating smile curved his lips. "It's going to have you in it."
Cherise felt her stomach take a dive toward her toes. "Oh, no," she murmured.
She was not getting involved with this disaster. She did not give in to her impulses, or entangle herself with messy individuals.
Meanwhile Kenny's fingers tightened over hers. In the dim light shed by the single candle on their table, his eyes looked very dark.
Cherise's stomach plunged yet further. What would it be like, she suddenly wondered, to make love with him, to have those eyes staring into hers just like this while he was buried deep inside her?
"Oh, yes," Kenny said.
No, Cherise thought. But as their eyes met over the table, she didn't manage to say it.
Kenny then released her hand. That was the worst part, Cherise decided later, that he let her go. As if he wasn't going to have to force her to do anything.
~~~
Kenny had a real cab drive them back to Valley Pediatric and Cherise's car. He congratulated himself on this heroic display of restraint. He could have had the cab take them directly to Cherise's house. He was confident he could have extracted the address from her. He was equally confident that once in front of her door, he could have coaxed his way into her bed.
They could have lighted the fire that had been smoldering between them all evening.
But it would have been a mistake.
With Cherise sitting straight and graceful beside him, Kenny was silent in the cab that sailed down Brand Avenue. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he pondered why he was so certain of the mistake bit. Maybe because Cherise had struck him with a two-by-four there in the corner booth of La Cucina. Do you ever think about your future? Well, no, he didn't ordinarily, but tonight he was thinking ahead enough to know he wanted Cherise for more than one night.
So he couldn't push too fast or take too much. He didn't want her to regret things later.
Kenny shifted on the plastic upholstery of the cab's back seat. His body felt infused with every smile, every laugh, every pleasure he'd surprised out of her tonight. It had all bounced back into him, charging him, revving him, making him feel...important.
Kenny shifted again and suppressed a wince. Important? He was the clown king. Never important. In fact, it was a relief to see the cab pull before the brick front of Valley Pediatric. He actually felt like he needed some time alone, to think.
The night air was brisk. In the lot to the side of the building there was only one car left, a very nice set of wheels, a late model Corvette. A fresh dose of optimism hit Kenny at this evidence that Cherise could, upon occasion, indulge her whimsy.
"I can't believe how late it is," she murmured, setting out with long strides across the asphalt.
Behind her, Kenny rolled his eyes. As if he didn't already know she didn't want to get seduced tonight. Well...she probably wanted to, but she didn't want to. Female logic, but Kenny understood. Tonight, he even agreed. So he clasped his hands hard behind his back as he strolled across the asphalt after her, determined to keep those hands to himself.
His mouth, however, he couldn't restrain. Out of sheer contrariness — and the part of him that wanted to sleep with her willy-nilly — he argued. "Sure it's late, but you can sleep in tomorrow. It's Saturday."
"I have a million things to do tomorrow." Cherise had her purse open and was rifling through it. Actually, she didn't rifle long. No, she probably had her key chain hooked onto one of those loops inside, so she'd always know where it was. Cherise Winter would never lose her keys.
Why that thought should strike Kenny with a fresh wave of lust, he didn't know. He only knew he had to stand very still, tensing every muscle, until it passed.
Cherise stuck her key into the lock of the door.
"Just a minute," Kenny said.
She jumped, must have been at least six inches. Yep, she was on edge, too. Very carefully, she turned.
Her eyes were wide, her lips soft. Her body was tensed like a deer ready to flee.
Her vulnerability squeezed Kenny's chest. So he was very gentle when he touched her, one hand on her shoulder. He kept his voice low as he spoke. "One kiss goodnight."
"No, Kenny. I don't think — "
He wasn't foolish enough to let her finish. Just held her while he touched his lips to hers. As she went very still, Kenny felt as if he were holding some extremely precious gift.
Carefully, ever so carefully, he deepened the embrace. His lips parted, parting hers. His hand slid from her shoulder around her back so that her breasts touched his chest.
Sweet. Oh, the sweetest sensation wound through him. Pleasure and anticipation and the helpless sensation of falling down, down, down.
"Same time next week?" he asked, against her lips.
He could feel her, quite predictably, stiffen. She pulled her head back to stare at him. "You must be kidding."
He smiled. "I never kid."
She laughed the
n, a thoroughly unexpected gurgle.
Kenny responded by covering her lips with his again, revealing more hunger, more demand — and feeling more of each. "I'll be looking for you outside Norman's Art Supply," he told her, once he'd managed to drag himself away.
He caught her expression — stunned, aroused, defiant — before he swung around and walked away, his hands clenched into fists.
He couldn't seduce her tonight, though it would be easy.
Because he was bound and determined to have her in his future... Whatever that meant.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Roy was doing his very best not to lose his mojo here. But sitting in the waiting room of a gynecologist, the only man within sight — and coming off nonchalant — was taking every ounce of testosterone he owned. On the walls were nude photos of pregnant women and fashion prints from the twenties. He'd picked up a copy of Vogue, which was actually the least femme magazine he could find amid the issues of Motherhood, Cosmopolitan, and, of all things, Bride.
He flipped through the pages of expensive clothes while mulling with increasing ill temper the fact he was cooling his heels out here while Valerie was with the doctor getting her internal examination.
Well, okay, so the two of them weren't sleeping together — yet. So maybe she felt a bit reserved about her body. But come on. Did she think she was going to keep him out of the birthing room?
"Hmm," Roy said, as he gazed down at a picture of a gigantic diamond wristwatch. His lips curved. All the more reason to get her into bed. She needed to grow comfortable when naked with him.
Besides, she wanted to go to bed with him, even if she'd taken a determinedly amnesiac tone on the telephone this past week. She'd been trying to act like the two kisses they'd shared in the parking lot had never occurred.
Huh, Roy thought, and flipped the page of the magazine with masculine zest. They'd occurred.
"Mr. Beaujovais?" The heavy-set receptionist lifted her chin to peer over the counter.
Roy dropped the magazine. "Yes?"
She motioned her head toward the door leading in. "They're ready for you now."
Finally. Roy was on his feet and at the door. The receptionist buzzed it just in time for Roy's muscular twist. He'd been kept out long enough.
"The second room on your right," the receptionist called to Roy, who was already on his way down the hall.
"Thanks," Roy muttered back, and came to a stop outside said door. He paused and decided he'd better knock, though he damn well didn't feel like it. He gave three short taps.
"Come in," called a woman's voice.
Roy turned the knob and went through. It was only sheer pride that kept him from swiveling on his heel and going right out again. The level of estrogen in the room was nearly suffocating. The place was hung with diagrams of women's bodies and babies going through birth canals. Add to that the doctor tending to Valerie's bared belly with some microphone device, and he felt like a fish out of water. Male, and completely de trop.
"Hello," he said. Even the timbre of his voice seemed out of place.
Valerie glanced over her shoulder. There was a wary light in her eyes.
Now, why did she look like that, like she was Little Red Riding Hood and he was the Big Bad Wolf? Roy felt his sense of de trop-ness expand.
"Uh, hi Roy," she said.
"Yeah, hi, Dad." The doctor, a severely intellectual-looking woman with wireless glasses, squinted and bent further over Valerie's tummy. "We haven't heard anything yet, but I'm still trying."
Roy rolled his shoulders and forced himself to step further into the room. He might not belong, but he was staying. "How is everything else?"
"Peachy," said the doctor. A steady beating noise suddenly filled the room. "That's Mom's heart," the doctor explained. "What? Oh, goody." She smiled and leaned back while a rapid beating, like the wings of a bird, rose over the normal cadence of Valerie's heartbeat. "There's baby."
Roy blinked. "It's — so fast."
Valerie and her doctor spoke at the same time. "It's supposed to be."
"Oh." Roy swallowed. The sound was impossibly quick, delicate...and real. Good God, there was a real, honest-to-goodness life growing inside there! Of course, he'd known that, but until he'd heard the pattering beat-beat-beat, he hadn't truly comprehended it.
They were going to have a baby.
"Wow," Roy breathed as a funny sensation shimmered through him, part fear and part exhilaration. He reached down and twined his fingers through Valerie's. Despite her earlier wariness, she gripped him back. The beat-beat-beat was too big to be petty about. "So, it sounds good, huh?" Roy asked, and gripped Valerie harder.
"A real trooper," the OB replied.
Roy grinned down at Valerie, and she beamed back. In that moment, with his own heart up around his ears, Roy thought he would do anything for her. Absolutely anything.
Of course, in that moment, he had no idea what she had in mind to ask.
~~~
"You want what?" Roy demanded. They were standing beside Valerie's Acura in the parking garage beneath her OB's office. To be more specific, they were standing with Valerie backed against her car and Roy's arms around her after he'd just finished a long-anticipated and passion-heavy kiss. Roy was still panting from the additional rush the kiss had brought forth. His heart was thudding beneath the hand Valerie had placed on his chest to push him away.
"You heard me." Valerie's own face was flushed from the kiss, but she continued to push on his chest, giving him no choice but to loosen his hold. She slid him another one of her wary glances. "I want you to stay somewhere other than my house from now on."
"But — " Roy was still hot. The anticipation that had been building inside him all week now added to what had been stirred by hearing the baby's heartbeat upstairs. "I don't get it. I thought we'd worked that out." Indeed, he'd jumped through hoops to get that worked out. "You said there was no point to spending money on a hotel room."
Valerie pulled the rest of the way out of his arms. "That was before you told me you wanted to sleep with me."
"Ah. Now, wait a minute."
"I don't want to sleep with you, Roy. And as that's your stated intention, I can hardly have you staying over."
"Now, hold on." Roy felt as though water was rising above his head. After hearing their baby's heartbeat, he wanted to jump her bones — now. He wanted to find some way to absorb the high emotion.
Valerie looked cool enough to drink a cup of tea...almost. Telling color stained her cheeks.
"You want me," he claimed.
Her eyebrows lifted.
Roy could feel his own face turning red. What a conversation. "Look, I know how you respond when I kiss you. Hell, I know how you responded when we went to bed together two months ago. You — We're into each other. Way into each other." He took a step toward her. "And I can prove it."
Valerie stood her ground, indeed lifted her chin in defiance. "Sure, you can get me to respond, Roy. I am...physically attracted to you. Which is the precise reason it's so important we don't sleep together."
"What?" She'd just admitted she wanted him! This made no sense. "Oh, wait, wait." Roy held up his palms. "It's because of Peter, right? You're still hung up on him."
Valerie closed her eyes. "This is not because of Peter... Although, maybe, in a way it is." She opened her eyes again. "Peter slept with me, but he didn't love me. And — that hurt. I don't want it to happen again. I'm not sleeping with a guy who doesn't love me, who doesn't...think I'm the only woman in the world for him."
Roy stared at her. In his mind, he heard a dismaying flashback to the conversation over Isaac's dining room poker table. Love. Why did everyone keep harping on the idea? "We are talking about sleeping together," he argued. "Very simple. You want me. I sure as hell want you. And we're married. There's absolutely no need to make things...complicated."
Valerie looked at him as if he'd just slapped her. "Complicated," she repeated softly.
"Yeah." Roy rolled
his shoulders. That's right. The whole thing was very simple.
But Valerie still looked struck. Slowly, she shook her head. "Roy, we can't afford to make a mess here. We can't involve ourselves in some doomed physical affair. We're going to have to be able deal with each other, amicably, for the rest of our lives."
Well, yeah, but — "Isn't that the point? We are going to have to deal with each other the rest of our lives...be parents together." He moved his arms, at a loss. They should be living together, a real husband and wife. It made perfect sense to him.
But Valerie's bleak expression said she didn't get it. She thought he was angling to hurt her. When — God — she was the one carrying the little life whose heart went beat-beat-beat. Of course he didn't want to hurt her.
He closed his eyes. Being together with her would make him so happy. Couldn't it make her that way, too? He thought so. He was pretty sure so. But...clearly she was going to have to reach that conclusion for herself.
With a sigh, he gave in. "You don't want us to sleep together. Fine. We won't." Ignoring the pang this statement caused him, Roy opened his eyes again. "But since I've promised that — and believe me it isn't easy — there's no reason I can't stay at your house."
Valerie's mouth opened.
"You have my word. Besides, I'll be downstairs." Roy crossed his arms over his chest.
Valerie shut her mouth, pressing her lips tightly together. "All right. If you promise not to — Well, I guess it would be okay for you to stay in the guest suite, when you're in town." Following these words, however, a look flashed from beneath her lashes of such grave uncertainty that Roy had to blink.
Did she doubt his promise? Think he'd try to seduce her after giving his word? Insulted by the thought, Roy watched her turn and climb into her car. It wasn't until after she'd pulled out of the parking space that another reason for her expression hit him.
His eyebrows shot up and he quickly swiveled before she might see his grin. As she drove out of the garage, Roy walked to his own car, relishing his theory. Maybe Valerie didn't doubt him, maybe she doubted herself! Perhaps she worried if he stayed overnight at her house she'd be the one to come on to him.