This was the door I needed. It had to be. The other door had a scent with a light tang of floral aromas, and the air just smelled a little clearer. Chances were, that’s where she kept the organic materials. I moved to the door. I touched it and felt the darkness cut into my skin like barb-wire. It tightened and pinched. I was barely holding on before I had to let go.
I was pretty sure that Aradia had used wards around the door. I read about wards in many of my books on magic. They were invisible force-fields in a sense. If someone who wasn’t granted access tried to break its bounds, it would attack them back. I knew there were other ways to get through a ward, if one was strong enough they could push through. I was certain that if I tried harder, it would become even tighter.
There had to be a way to get rid of the ward.
I snuck back up the stairs. I waited at the basement door, taking in the scents and sounds behind it. When it was empty of any people I creaked the door open. I looked through a small sliver to double check. I slipped it and quietly shut it behind me. I moved as quietly as I could back the stairs. I started toward my room, but I was too restless. My mind was racing with all that I still had to do. My rising panic jumbled my thoughts and made me twitchy. My muscles felt tight. I needed movement.
I looked at my door but I knew that I had to keep searching. I had to get more information about the wards. I needed to visit the library again. I turned and snuck back through my familiar path to the library.
My heart was racing when I arrived back to the library. My fear would have to wait. If it came right down to it I would do anything to protect the wolves I loved.
Anything.
****
Every night I dreamt of him. Every night it was a little different, but still the same. Hunter and I would spend time together, usually in his room. We laid on his bed, my head on his shoulder, and our hands entwined. I remembered laughing in the dreams. I remember his laugh. The full-belly, amazing laugh that I loved to hear. That I felt he only gave to me. He was so open in those moments. Sometimes we wouldn’t be laughing, or talking.
This dream was different. We were outside under the stars. The sky was clear, the moon was so close and bright that the world around us was clear. He was standing between two trees at the line of the woods. I headed towards him. I felt like I couldn’t get to him close enough.
“Look at you all dressed up.”
I smiled.
He was wearing black sports jacket, with his best pair of pants, and his feet were bare. I bit my lip as I looked at him. He really did look good, his beard was a little longer than usual and his hair had grown. I liked it. I wanted to run my hands through it and put it in a bun just to see how it looked. Hunter’s yellow eyes met mine.
“Would it hurt you to say I look handsome?” he said. His voice was as gruff as I remembered it. It sent zings right to my heart and my gut. I felt the butterflies start again and I felt friction starting to build. Hunter’s lips split into that shit-eating grin that I loved. He knew what he was doing this to me on purpose, and he was damn proud of it.
“You are very handsome, you don’t need me to tell you that.”
I pressed my hands on his chest. He felt so solid underneath me and I wanted to cuddle closer. And it was my dream, so I did. I moved my arms around his wide chest and set my head over his heart.
“I need you to tell me, because you are the only one that matters.”
“You’ll survive without me,” I whispered. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I knew there was a chance that I wasn’t coming out of any of this alive. I pressed my tears into his shirt.
“I was barely surviving before you. How could you expect me to survive after knowing you? After falling in love with you?”
“Please don’t say that Hunter.” I couldn’t bear to think that he loved me, even in a dream. He asked me how he was expected to survive without me. How was I supposed to live without him? Any way this ends, it ends with me alone and far from him. I could never make him stay with me. I was still everything he hated. Even if I managed to save the wolves from this spell that they were threatened with so many centuries ago still didn’t change that I felt like a monster.
No, I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t let him live that lie.
“I am a dream, Colette. You wouldn’t even want me here to say I love you?” he whispered, sounding hurt.
“I want you to say it and mean it like the air I breathe. But what my heart wants, and what my mind knows are two very different things. I want to be selfish enough to say yes, but as long as part of me believes that you don’t love it, I can walk away. Dreams give us hope.”
Hunter leaned back so that he could see me. He pushed my hair out of my face. I closed my eyes. I loved the sensation of his hands through my hair. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me. It was the smile, the one that brought me to my knees and made me feel like everything was going to be all alright.
“A tiny thing like you? You destroy me by walking away,” he whispered as he leaned in and pressed a kiss against my forehead. I let out a cry, a laugh, but when I went to wipe away my tears he was there. He brushed the pads of his thumbs to each corner of my eye.
“Hunter, there is so much I want to tell you about me. But…it would kill me to make you hate me,” I answered. We were silent for a while.
I fiddled with the buttons on his shirt while he stroked my cheek with his thumb. The sensation left an echo of his touch. I wanted to lean into it and never forget the feeling.
“Why this setting tonight, Colette?” Hunter asked his voice sounding so close. I glanced up at him through my lashes. He was centimeters from me. My heart pounded in my chest. I was certain he could feel it.
“I don’t know,” I answered. I honestly didn’t know. The dreams felt like they just came to me. Tonight was no different.
“I think we should make the best of it,” he tilted his head and captured my lips. My body arched forward into his. He gave me a warmth I hadn’t felt in weeks. I missed his touch and as if answering my silent plea, his arms wrapped around my back pulling me closer.
My hands went through his beard to his long hair. It twisted around my fingers and felt so right. His tongue brushed against my lips and I opened. I couldn’t keep my eyes from rolling behind closed lids as he stroked ever so gently. My knees went weak while other parts of hungered with want.
I moved on hand down his neck to his shoulders. My hand wrapped around his bicep as I pulled myself closer to him. I didn’t understand how I could ever have lived without his kiss. This was heaven. I needed so much more. He pulled his lips away from me, but kept close. He pressed his forehead against mine. We breathed heavily together, my one arm around his neck keeping him close.
“I need you,” I whispered, wishing that this was real life. A dream would never be enough for me. I knew the night we spent together was probably a stupid idea. It would always be a reminder for me that I would never get to have him again. And he was all I wanted.
“Soon, Colette,” his lips slipped over mine as he spoke. I closed my eyes hoping for more. That I would be able to feel his lips against mine one last time.
“This won’t be the last time. It will be the first of many,” he pressed a small kiss to my lips, “many, many more.”
Hunter kissed me deeply once more and I lost all sense. Everything was consumed by him, touch, all I could feel was him, smell and taste again him, sandalwood and pine. That spiciness, a hint of cinnamon. Behind my lids I saw his wolf with mine. I was his completely, and he was mine.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered when he pulled away from me.
****
Tears slipped from my eyes and I woke up to the feeling of wetness on my cheeks. I sat up and wiped away the tears. I could feel my heart breaking in my chest. It was the goodbye I never got to give Hunter. Part of me wanted to slip back into the dream but the other half of me – the smart half – knew without a doubt that I would never get to say that goodbye.
<
br /> I laid my head down.
I had only a few precious days left. I had been studying every book I could get my hands on about wards. I finally had found one that taught me how to break them. The problem was that I needed certain ingredients to do it. My plan was to raid the kitchen while no one would catch me. I turned over and looked at the clock in my room. It was 4:00AM. I couldn’t imagine that anyone would be around.
I slipped out from under my covers and headed towards the kitchen. The floor beneath my feet was chilled, but nothing compared to how they would have been back home in Michigan. I was sure that snow was already covering the ground. I pushed those thoughts away. Everything felt raw in that dream of Hunter. It felt so real. And didn’t my lips just seem a little bit swollen?
I got down the stairs no problem when I got to the dining room I headed right for the kitchen. If anyone asked I would just say that I was looking for something to eat. I was hoping to find the few simple things I needed. The ward lifting spell needed salt, and, oddly, paprika.
The kitchen door swung open when I pushed on it. I peeked inside. I didn’t see anyone. I wondered about those servant humans. Where were they? I didn’t question it too much. One less person from stopping me from getting what I needed wasn’t a bad thing. It didn’t take me too long to find the spices. I took out of the salt and found the paprika. I didn’t want to raise any suspicions, so I found some plastic bags I could store it in and hide in my pockets.
The kitchen was spotless and I sort of wanted to investigate. I felt the rising fear that someone was going to come in and find me. My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty. I breathed in. Until now I had thought of this as a game. Now it was starting to feel real. I sat down against the counter and leaned my head back. If I went through this I would be committing to kill someone. And not just anyone, but my own mother. I might not have any love for her, but was I okay with killing her?
I pressed the heel of my hand on my head. I had to do this. It wasn’t for me. It was for the wolves that were unaware of the danger they were in. It was for witches like in the Emery line who didn’t want this in the first place. It was for Jackson who lost his mate because of a spell she had cast. The more thought about it, the more resolved I became.
This was it. I had the spell I needed to break the ward. Next would be to free Jackson. After I did that I knew everything would snowball.
Chapter 29 — Shift
It was time to end this. I had to do it. I thought again of Jackson, and the mate that he lost because of Aradia. I knew that love now, I understood what it could be, and that it was taken from him. I couldn’t wait for an opportunity to challenge Aradia. I headed out of the kitchen toward the basement.
I got my good-bye to Hunter, even if it was just a dream. I didn’t realize how much I needed that. It gave me the strength to go on. I was positive Hunter would be able to move on. I wanted to believe so strongly that he had moved on already. Damn independent man. It would be easier for me to believe that he wasn’t waiting for me. I thought that perhaps he found my phone and saw that I called Griffin. He might have thought that I used the witches attack as a distraction to leave.
I walked down the concrete stairs every step felt heavier. The wolf had come to me and asked me to save him. I wasn’t sure if Jackson, the man, would be so forgiving. He had been mind-controlled since I had arrived. All he would know about me was that I was her daughter. I didn’t know how long he had been an unwilling part of this. Would he see me as the enemy as well? But I couldn’t let him keep going as he was. Still, I was terrified at what I would find behind that warded door. I wondered, too, if Aradia would be aware when I disarmed her ward. It didn’t matter. I had the ingredients.
I nodded to myself as I headed to the door. My wolf and magic rushed forward in unison. My body filled with the static feeling I now knew was associated with my magic. It took over and went through my veins. I breathed just a little easier.
I sprinkled the salt then paprika as I whispered the words in the book. I knew I was butchering them because they were in Greek, it was in but I hoped that the spell would work. I watched as the blackness of the ward faded. The room was still drenched in the scent of blood magic. I took a breath and hoped for the best.
I stepped forward and when the biting feeling of barb-wire didn’t hit me, I took another. The ward was down. I was so relieved that I almost did a little dance right there. But time was of the essence, so instead I moved forward.
This was the easy part.
I grabbed the knob in my hand and took a deep breath. The knob barely moved. I knew it was going to be locked. But I was sort of hoping that it wouldn’t be.
I got on my knees as I pulled out of the bobby pin I had hidden in my hair. I started to work the lock and I was so glad for all the stupid adventures that Griffin, Liam, and Nick took me on. They had wanted to visit old houses that they were convinced were haunted. With that thought I looked over my shoulder at where I thought I had seen the ghost girl. She wasn’t there, not that I was expecting her to be, but I was curious to know who she was.
I heard the lock click and I stood once again. I braced myself. What would I find behind the door? This had to happen. I had to go inside. My hand wrapped around the doorknob, the metal felt cool against the palm of my hand. My heart beat was pounding so hard that I felt it pulsating in my fingers. The door let out a small whine when I pushed it further open. I flinched at the sound, but I knew there was no way that they could hear something all the way down here.
I slipped in and shut the door behind me. I took a deep breath as I turned around. My eyes first caught the sight of old wooden shelves. They were simple, open concept and filled with all sorts of strange items. I could see bottles of odd looking liquids. Some of the bottles were florescent blues or purples I would have to guess they were potions, others were filled with what I hoped were olives. Looking closer I would have discovered their unsavory true form, which I assumed to be eyes or something similarly gruesome. Dried bundles of plants. There were at least two of these shelves on the left side of the room. On the right there had to be almost five.
It all looked dusty and rarely used. Off a ways was a soft florescent glow that caught my attention. I moved forward. There, crouching in the darkness, ominously plain in this arcane cellar – a state of the art fridge.
Which was huge. It was almost six feet long, and stood about five feet tall.
I swallowed hard and peered into the glass door. There were vials upon vials of blood. The entire thing was filled with vials of blood. Without a doubt some – if not all – of the vials belonged to Jackson’s mate.
I wondered for a brief moment if he knew his mate before this all happened. I sort of hoped he hadn’t. At least then when was freed of his curse he would only have to mourn the idea of her, and not her. But then the thought of someone using my mate like that, knowing them or not infuriated me. What if it had been Hunter’s blood sitting behind the doors?
I pulled on the handle but it refused to budge. Desperation took over and I shook harder, determined to open the door. I knew that I was crying. Tears rolled down my face. If Aradia ever found me too hard to handle, or thought I couldn’t be controlled, I would become little more than a vial of blood.
That was all that was left of Jackson’s mate. A nameless woman was killed for Aradia’s dark plans. Fear and desperation flooded my veins. I was next. Panic forced me into action.
“Goddammit, open!” I screamed.
I shook harder with both hands. It didn’t budge and I looked down. A bio-scanner innocently scanned the empty air. No way that was going to stop me. I would destroy the thing if I had to. The magic within me grew.
It overflowed from me and exploded outwards. The fridge shook with the power of my magic, the vials bounced together. Glass tapped together in a gorey bell chorus. I wanted to cover my ears. My anger rose with a hot burn. She had taken it before or after she had killed the poor girl. All for a spell.
The
fridge flew back against the wall and the door shattered. I ducked to protect myself from the flying glass. When everything was silent again when I straightened.
The fridge was completely destroyed, the frame was still intact, but everything inside had exploded. A bad taste filled my mouth as I watched the old blood drip to the ground. I backed away and wondered if I should destroy anything else in this room. None of these items actually did anything on their own, but they were part of her plans.
I searched for the magic inside of me, but I think when I lost my temper, making the fridge explode had zapped my energy. I kept moving backwards. She had to know. And I was down here like a sitting duck.
I turned and headed out of the room. I kept glancing back over my shoulder. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had just destroyed a very expensive looking fridge. The fridge had exploded from my magic, I didn’t have much experience with magic yet, but I knew that was not normal. The destruction I had caused wasn’t like other magic I had seen.
I ran up the stairs feeling unbalanced. The use of the magic, and the reminder of the blood that now painted the walls downstairs started to overwhelm me. I ran into the first bathroom I came across. I braced myself over the sink and breathed in. Slowly in and out. Once the shaking in my hands subsided I turned the water on.
I splashed water on my face and told myself that I had to remain calm until she approached me. Until then I had to rest up and recharge my energies. I had to hope that my wolf and witch would be strong enough in the moments to come.
Would I be ready?
****
I managed to get a couple hours of sleep before anything happened. As soon as got I back to my room, I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. Luckily, I didn’t wake up to Aradia bursting in here ready to kill me, so I assumed she hadn’t yet discovered what I had done. No part of me wanted to go downstairs and get breakfast with the strange trio that I knew would be waiting for me. Aradia made it clear immediately that she wanted to isolate me. Others didn’t speak to me, and they were never invited to our dinners, and in training I was limited to who I worked with. I had to, though. I needed all my strength for what was to come.
Hexed Hearts Page 33