by Lacey Black
I hold my breath until I feel myself starting to get lightheaded. Ryan glances between Reid and myself, then back again, giving away nothing. Suddenly, his chair flies backwards, falling behind him onto the concrete. I gasp as I prepare for him to bolt, but what he does next floors me. Ryan throws himself onto Reid’s lap, hugging him so fiercely that I can tell Reid isn’t able to suck in oxygen.
Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I watch the scene unfold like the dramatically beautiful ending of a romance movie. Reid holds on tightly to Ryan as if he’s afraid he’ll disappear unexpectedly.
“You’re really my dad? Like really, really? I knew you’d come back for me, I knew it! I bet you were someplace really cool that’s just like Gotham City. I bet you can’t tell me where, though, cause it’s a big secret. Maybe someday when I’m older and can be your sidekick, you’ll tell me where you’ve been,” Ryan says, pulling back to gaze happily up at his dad.
“Someday,” Reid whispers as he gives Ryan a small smile and a wink.
“Mom, did you know my dad is a real superhero? I knew it, Mom. He can’t tell me, but I’ve always known it. And now he’s back!” Ryan rejoices from Reid’s lap.
“He’s back,” I confirm to my son, offering them both the best smile I can to convey happiness and excitement. But, underneath my smile, I’m full of worry and uncertainty. I just pray we did the right thing by telling Ryan so quickly.
And most of all, I pray that Reid keeps his promise about always being there for Ryan. Because ready or not, there’s no turning back now.
Chapter Twelve – Down and Dirty
Reid
I watch through the small window on the back of the house as Dani washes up the few dishes from dinner. She slipped inside to clean up the mess about fifteen minutes ago, giving Ryan and I another opportunity to visit and play.
Telling Ryan that I am his father is something I’ll never forget. I’m sure Dani wasn’t ready for me to just blurt it out the way I did, but I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I’ve always been the talker, the negotiator, in business. I talk, you listen. Listening to Dani talk to Ryan made it crystal clear that she had no clue how to say the words she was trying to get out. That’s why I stepped in. Rip off the Band Aid.
I never knew it could feel this good to say those words. I’m not going to lie and say that I wasn’t scared to fucking death, because I was. But, I was more afraid of never telling him. More fearful of him never knowing who I am to him. And that thought gutted me to the core. This little boy is quickly thawing my frozen heart faster than an ice cube in the Sahara Desert.
“Come on, Ryan. It’s time for your bath,” Dani says from the back door.
“But I was telling Reid what I want for my birthday next month,” Ryan whines.
“No arguing, Mister. You know it’s already well after bedtime. You’ll be able to see Reid again soon,” Dani says as she steps out onto the porch.
“When?” Ryan asks, turning his eager eyes back to me.
“How about tomorrow? Maybe we can go to the park or something?” I offer. The park. I haven’t been to a park since I was ten years old.
“Yes!” Ryan exclaims as he gets up and throws his arms around my neck. “Will you still be here when I get done in the bathtub?” he asks. How in the fuck am I supposed to say no to those big doe eyes? It’s official. I can’t.
“I’ll hang around until you’re done to say goodnight. But then it’s off to bed,” I tell him, amazed at how well the fatherly tone rolls off my tongue.
“Deal!” he shouts before turning and running into the house.
“You’re welcome to step inside and hang out while I help him with his bath,” Dani says from the doorway. She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I quickly stand up and follow her inside. “I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home,” she says as she slips down the hallway towards the bathroom.
My attention is instantly pulled towards the refrigerator. That picture of Ryan and Dani wearing the same bikini that she was wearing today is secured to the fridge with magnets. I continue to gaze at the picture. I’m drawn to it tonight much as I was a little over a week ago when I showed up at their house uninvited. There’s something so beautiful about the way she looks. Sure, she’s a gorgeous woman, but there’s something more, something meaningful. Love. It’s written all over her face, in the way she stands with her arm wrapped around Ryan. And the look on his face shines his own adoration for his mother.
The photo reminds me of the way my own mother looked in photos of my childhood. There weren’t many since Mom was usually the photo taker, but I can recall a few. Photos of family vacations, birthday parties, and holidays. Me and Tara…and Reagan. Dad was rarely in the pictures. He was usually too busy working to waste his time on creating family memories. Maybe that’s why most of my memories are tainted.
Removing the photo from its place on the fridge, I run my fingers along the delicate lines of her face. She is without a doubt, the most breathtaking woman I’ve ever known. If I never knew anything more about the woman and child in this photo, I would know that they are happy and loved. For that, as a father, that’s more than I could ever wish for.
A father. How in the hell did that happen? Well, I know exactly how it happened. I’ve relived that night so many times in my dreams that I could recite it backwards, while drunk. It could have only happened that one night. Before then, I had made damn sure that it wouldn’t happen, making sure I always had my own condoms. I knew my days were numbered the moment I woke up in that tent and realized we never used protection. All three times. I never wanted this. I still don’t know if I can handle it. But I know that turning around and walking away will be the greatest mistake of my life. Slipping the photo into the cargo pocket on the khaki shorts that I changed into after spending the afternoon swimming, I take a seat at the kitchen table and wait for Dani and Ryan to finish up.
Ten minutes later, Ryan runs into the kitchen wearing another pair of Batman pajama shorts. Man, does this kid like Batman. “Mom says I have to go to bed now, but we’re still going to hang out tomorrow, right?” Ryan says with fervent, shining eyes.
“We sure are, Ryan,” I tell him with a smile. Moments later, he throws his arms around my neck, squeezing me with everything he has. “Reid?” Ryan says, turning those big steely eyes on me.
“Yeah?” I ask, still holding him within my arms.
“Can I call you Dad now?” he asks quietly. The world stops spinning with that one simple question. Yet, there’s nothing simple about it. My chest tightens so taut that I fear I’ll never be able to breathe properly again. My eyes burn with unwanted emotion as I stare into the eyes that match mine.
“You can call me whatever you want,” I tell him huskily. The smile I’m given could bring a cease fire in an active warzone. It’s at that exact moment that the heart I didn’t know I still had starts to beat again. And it doesn’t just beat. For the first time in as long as I can remember, my heart is alive, tap dancing in my fucking chest.
“Okay, then I’m going to call you Dad,” Ryan says through his cheeky grin.
“I would love that.” And I would. Hearing that one word out of his mouth gives me hope. It gives me life.
“Good night, Dad,” Ryan proclaims as he slips out of my arms and heads out of the kitchen. Dani barely has enough time to move aside before he runs her over in the wake of his excitement.
When my eyes find hers, I see the unshed tears. Without a thought, I stand up and go to her, pulling her smaller body flush against my larger one. She grabs on to the back of my shirt, holding on for dear life as her tears fall. Dani in my arms is heaven and hell all at the same time. Hell only because I know this touch will only make me want her more.
Her body is firmly plastered to my own from head to knees so that I no longer know where I end and she begins. I inhale the scent of her shampoo mixed with chlorine, and it instantly reminds me of our afternoon together. I had fun. Fun like I’ve never had before. A diffe
rent kind of fun that I’ve never really experienced before; at least not in my adult life.
“Please don’t hurt him,” she whispers against my chest, and the words rip me wide open.
“I won’t,” I vow, closing my eyes in silent prayer that it’s a promise I never have to break.
* * *
Later that night, sleep evades me. I’m haunted by the words that Ryan said moments before he darted off to bed. Every time I close my eyes, I see Dani’s exotic baby blues looking up at me while I held her in the kitchen. Those eyes filled with so much trust and worry. And I don’t have to mention the way my body remembers the feel of hers pressed against me.
It took every single grain of self-control I could muster to walk away from her tonight with a mere kiss on the cheek. Fuck, if I didn’t want to throw her over my shoulder and fuck that worry away from her. But, if I’m going to make a lasting impression on Dani, it needs to be focused on Ryan. Not what could happen in bed, closet, or anywhere else I could get my hands on her.
Though that image is damn welcome, right now.
I’ve tossed and turned for the better part of an hour. I tried a workout first to eradicate the dirty images in my mind, but when that didn’t work, I tried scotch. The only thing that did was get me half-drunk with a raging hard-on.
Evicting her from my mind is a lost cause, I know it. Recalling how my dick felt so snuggly between her ass cheeks is enough to make me take my dick in my hand. Finally. This is usually the moment where I’d call up any of the numbers in my cell phone and invite her to meet me at the apartment, but the idea of anyone satisfying this intense desire doesn’t sit well. In fact, I’m pretty sure no one else will be able to satisfy me.
Only Dani.
It doesn’t take me long and I’m panting and moaning. It might be my hand that’s doing the work, but in my mind, it’s Dani’s hand wrapped around my engorged cock. It’s her touch that brings me closer and closer to release. I imagine everything that her sweet little mouth would do to me: her tongue, her lips, her teeth. Back then we never got to enjoy anything like this. With the exception of the way I brought her to orgasm with my mouth and fingers, we were both hell bent on getting me buried deep inside her. Each of the three times, we never got around to any serious foreplay.
I’m so close that I know it’s only a matter of seconds before I blow. Keeping my eyes closed, I think of only Dani and the night we shared as my balls tighten and my cock releases warmth on my stomach. It’s a juvenile move, jacking off in bed, but I don’t give a fuck. There’s no way my body could wait until we’re finally at that place to take things to the next level. In fact, if the way my dick is already half-hard and ready to go another round is an indication, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to completely quench my thirst for her. Being inside her is the only way to sate this desire.
I fear that I’ll be jacking off nightly.
Finally, exhaustion starts to set in. Whether it’s from the workout, the scotch, or the intense round of bed hockey for one, I’m not sure. Probably a combination of all three. My eyelids are heavy as I clean myself up and find a comfortable position in bed. I only wish I were sharing my bed with a certain blond with long, tan legs and a great rack. Motherhood hasn’t done anything to squash my desire for Dani. If anything, it has only intensified it.
She’s nothing like any of the women I’ve ever known. They’re darkness to her light, evil to her good. Even back then, there was something about her that made her different. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had the desire to bring any of the other women to my home. I keep them away from my private sanctuary by inviting them only to the apartment, and even then, they’re not allowed to stay the night. The only night I’ve ever experienced wrapped up in someone’s arms have been hers.
It’s a heady, yet troubling realization as I slowly drift to sleep.
Chapter Thirteen – What A Difference A Day Can Make
Dani
Reid pulls up in his slick, black SUV at exactly eleven o’clock on Sunday morning, ready to start our day of adventure. He’s all smiles as he comes through the back door like he’s done it a million times. He looks excited and refreshed as he strolls in wearing a plaid pair of shorts and a matching gray polo shirt. It’s the look that I will always associate as Reid’s ‘casual’ look.
I wish I could say sleep was easy last night, but that’s far from the case. Reid shows up all energized and well rested, while I’m on my second pot of coffee just to get me through the morning. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept replaying the moment where Ryan asked Reid if he could call him Dad. The moment I heard that one word come from Ryan’s mouth, I about lost it. My chest was so tight and my lungs burned as I did everything I could not to cry.
Then, when Reid wrapped his arms around me, I lost it. I cried equally in happiness and in fear. I was putting my faith and my trust in him. I didn’t feel alone for the first time since I peed on that stick. Even though I’ve always had my dad and sister, I’ve always felt like I was taking this journey solo. In that moment, when Ryan called Reid Dad, I knew I would never be alone again.
At least where Ryan is concerned.
The jury’s still out on my love life.
“Dad!” Ryan hollers from just inside the door. He barely lets Reid step inside before he throws himself into his arms. Fortunately for Reid, he’s already braced for impact with a smile on his face.
“Hey, Ry. You ready to go?” Reid asks, glancing over Ryan’s head and looking at me. He scans me from my face all the way down to my sandals, and then back up again. The appreciative way he looks at me is a reminder of the connection we have.
“Where are we going?” Ryan asks without letting go of Reid.
“I thought we’d go have lunch at Mandalay Bay and then go to Shark Reef,” Reid says with a wide smile.
“Yes! I’ve only been there once and I was little,” Ryan says as he dives into his tale of visiting Shark Reef a few years back.
“Hold on, little buddy. Let’s get ready to go and you can tell me all about it in the car,” Reid says, winking at me over Ryan’s head.
“Okay,” Ryan proclaims as he slips outside and heads towards Reid’s waiting SUV.
“Good morning,” Reid says moments before he places a kiss on my cheek. His lips are warm and inviting, and I long to turn just enough so that his lips are planted firmly on my lips.
“Hi,” I reply.
Before either of us can say anything more, a loud, steady horn honks in the driveway. “We better go before he decides to drive himself,” Reid says with a cheeky smile.
Thirty minutes later, we’re seated at a table inside Sports Book Grill, the restaurant Ryan chose inside Mandalay Bay. Ryan is practically bouncing in his seat–partially from the excitement of seeing Shark Reef, but also from the thrill of sitting next to his father. He’s talking a mile a minute with animated arms, while Reid looks on with affection and glee in his eyes. A look I don’t think I’ve ever really seen before. Gone is his seriousness and foreboding. Gone are the intensity and the shadows. His entire face radiates light and laughter in this moment. And when he winks at me before turning his attention back to our son, I know in my heart that I’m witnessing a truly unique and treasured moment.
But just as fast as the snap of my fingers, I see that look fade away.
Reid tenses, the arm resting on the back of Ryan’s chair dropping down to his lap as he suddenly sits up so straight, you’d think a rod was placed in his back. His gray eyes follow the line just over my back. When I turn around, I see only a handsomely dressed man and a young woman walking our way. Something about the man looks vaguely familiar…
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Reid Hunter. I have to say, my friend, I am very surprised to find you here on a Sunday. I thought you worked seven days a week,” the man says with a hearty chuckle and a wide smile.
“I do get out of the office every now and again, Jon. You know that.” Reid’s eyes are serious, but they lack tension. Obv
iously, Reid knows this man. His reaction appears more out of surprise than apprehension.
“Excuse me,” the man says as he turns to me. “Where are my manners? This is Monica,” he adds as he turns back to the elegantly dressed woman next to him. Her burgundy wrap dress hits just above the knees, is form fitting, and gives off an elegant, yet daring view of cleavage. Her hair is in a simple up-do that clearly came from a stylist, and her entire appearance speaks of grace and style. But it doesn’t match her smile. Dark red lips stretch across blinding white teeth. I can’t stop looking at her smile. It looks fake. Viperish. Possessive.
And I have no clue why.
“Monica, nice to meet you,” Reid says casually without extending his hand. “This is Dani and Ryan. Dani, meet my right hand man, Jon.”
Jon. That name rings a bell, and if the way he’s smiling at me is any indication, he clearly knows me, too. His smile holds secrets and mischief.
“Nice to meet you,” I say, placing my hand inside of his extended one.
“Dani. That name rings a bell,” he says with a knowing smile. The moment his lips touch the top of my hand, I all but come out of my skin. I glance over at Reid who looks like he’s about to jump over the table, throw me over his shoulder, and stalk out of the restaurant.
“What brings you to Sports Book?” Reid asks, not even acknowledging Jon’s unsaid question.
“Monica and I were just passing through on our way to lunch when I thought I spotted you. I told her it surely couldn’t be my Reid, the man who is holed up in his office, trying to plot his next move in world domination.” Jon continues to smile. What the hell is going on here?
“Yes, well, everyone has to eat,” Reid says casually, dropping his eyes back down to the drawing Ryan is making on the back of the paper on the table.
Jon’s eyes follow Reid’s. “That they do, buddy,” Jon says.
The silence at the table is plausible. You could cut the tension with the steak knife sitting at my place setting. Jon and Reid continue to have words with only their eyes, and it frankly starting to drive me crazy. Clearly, they both know something that I don’t know. And when you throw in Monica, she seems more interested in sneaking a peek at Reid’s crotch than anything; and she isn’t even trying to hide it.