“Do you? Do you really?” His sarcasm was drenched in ice. “Or is this a female ploy to bring me to my knees?”
“That’s not fair.” Tears clogged her throat.
With a careless grasp, he took her chin and tipped it upward so they were eye to eye. What destroyed her most was the bleak misery beneath his supercilious glare. Against all odds, she had hurt him deeply, it seemed. “Life’s not fair, elf. I learned that a long time ago.”
She made the mistake of trying one more time. “I’ll go back on the chopper with you. We can talk later today. You need my help with the baby, surely.”
Every human emotion inside him shut down as if someone had flipped a switch. His smile chilled her. “On the contrary, Dani. I think I can manage just fine on my own.”
Stepping around her, he unlocked the door and walked away.
* * *
Watching Nathaniel take Peaches and climb into a fragile-looking helicopter was the worst moment of Dani’s life. The rotors hummed with a high-pitched shriek. Wild air currents stirred up leaves and other debris. Moments later, the chopper lifted straight into the air and headed south.
Dani couldn’t break down. Not in front of her family. “I’m going for a walk,” she muttered. “I’ll be back for lunch.”
Before either of her parents could say a word of protest, she took off for the hill at the back of the house. The chopper had landed on the only flat spot just behind her father’s work shed. Now Dani hurtled down the incline, slipping and stumbling, falling to her knees more than once but getting up again and running. Running.
The pain in her chest was unbearable. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think.
Why hadn’t she talked to him about leaving? Surely he would have understood her decision if he hadn’t been blindsided. Hell, he probably would have applauded it. Nathaniel Winston didn’t want any messy personal situations to derail his perfectly ordered life.
At last, she came to the copse of trees where she’d passed many a childhood afternoon. On balmy summer nights, she and her siblings had occasionally been allowed to sleep out under the stars in rope hammocks—with their father close at hand, of course.
Today, all the tree limbs were barren, the ground below soggy and muddy from the melting snow. Barely conscious of what she was doing, she jumped for a familiar branch and hauled herself up to sit with her legs dangling. Propping her back against the tree trunk, she put her hands to her face and sobbed.
There was no one around to hear. A hawk soared high above on wind currents. The sun’s weak rays provided little warmth. She cried forever it seemed, unconsciously scanning the sky between her fingers, hoping to see the helicopter’s return.
Everything was ruined. Even if she found the courage now to tell Nathaniel she loved him, he would question her motives. Distrust and cynicism were deeply ingrained in his personality. She understood why, but understanding didn’t make it any easier.
Adding to her distress was the knowledge she would never see the baby again, either. She had hoped to be a support for Nathaniel when everything with Ophelia began to shake out. Either way—father or not the father—Nathaniel would need help sorting through his feelings.
Eventually, she became so cold she knew she had to go inside or risk serious consequences. Her fingers were stiff and numb. She lost her grip getting down from the tree and fell on her face, knocking the wind out of her chest and scratching her chin.
Somehow, the pain seemed appropriate.
The uphill return trip to the house was far longer and more difficult than the flight down. With her head bowed and her eyes wet with tears, she concentrated on not throwing up the breakfast she had eaten earlier.
Jared met her halfway back. She never even saw him coming until he was right in front of her.
He took off his coat and wrapped it around her. “You okay, sis?”
She must have looked dreadful, because her brother’s gaze was a mix of concern and alarm. “I will be.” It was a promise to herself as well as the answer to his question, but a vow she had no idea how to keep.
Jared put an arm around her waist as they climbed. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that Nathaniel Winston is more than your boss. Am I right?”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Yes.” Then the truth hit her. “No. Not anymore.” The tears came again and with them the certainty that she had derailed her life completely. “I didn’t want to fall in love with him, so I began sending out résumés, looking for another job. I was going to tell him soon...about the résumés, not the love thing, but then Mom let the cat out of the bag and now he’s furious.”
Stumbling to a halt, barely able to catch her breath at the crest of the steep incline, she shivered uncontrollably.
Jared took her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “You can’t go into the house like this. Mom will freak out. Stay in the shed while I see if the coast is clear.”
“Okay.”
He was back in under two minutes. “The rest of them are playing cards in the den. If we’re quiet, we can slip in the back door and make it to my room. I already grabbed your suitcase.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Jared hesitated. “What are you going to do, Dani?”
She sniffed, wrapping her arms around her waist to keep from flying apart. “I want to go back to Atlanta—right now. I need to talk to him. Will you take me?”
“If we can get the Hummer across the bridge, yes.”
“Mom and Dad must be wondering why I didn’t get on the helicopter.”
“They’re smart people. I’m pretty sure they’ve figured it out by now. Mom feels awful, by the way.”
“It wasn’t her fault. I never said the job search was a secret.”
“Are you positive it wouldn’t be better to let this be the end? When only one person is in love, things can get ugly.”
“You should know.” She managed a teasing tone though she had never felt less like laughing. “Nathaniel doesn’t love me. It’s true. He won’t let himself love anyone. But I have been important to him, and I hurt him, I think. I need to apologize. I need closure. So I can move on.”
“What if he won’t see you?”
She hadn’t thought of that. “He will,” she said. “I won’t give up.”
* * *
After a restorative hot shower and wearing another set of the clothing Nathaniel had bought for her, Dani found a measure of calm. The conversation with her parents was awkward, but necessary. Though she never mentioned the affair in so many words, it was clear they understood what she had done. They didn’t ask questions. It couldn’t be easy for a father to think about his daughter having sex.
She spoke with Angie separately and a bit more honestly.
Angie hugged her. “I’ve had my share of screwups, baby sister. You’ll survive this, I swear. Call me day or night. I’ll even come to Atlanta if you need me.”
“Thank you, Angie. I appreciate it.”
After that, it was goodbyes all around, and then time to go. While Dani and Angie were having their heart-to-heart, the men had been down to the creek and decided it was safe to traverse the bridge. Though two small sections of concrete were missing, the rest of the structure was sound.
Dani’s mom was worried, but Jared kissed her cheek. “I won’t do anything stupid, I swear. We’ll be fine.”
In the end, crossing the bridge was anticlimactic.
Once they negotiated the streets of Gainesville and made it to the other side of town, Jared turned on the radio. The two of them didn’t talk, but the lack of conversation was comfortable. He was her brother. He was on her side.
The trip went smoothly. When Jared finally parked the Hummer in front of the building that housed her apartment, he rested an arm on the steer
ing wheel, and turned to face her. “You want me to come in?”
“Not necessary. Thanks for the ride and thanks for returning the Hummer.”
His broad grin was cheeky. “I might take it for a little spin before I swing by the car place.”
“Jared,” she warned, frowning at him.
“Unlimited mileage. I read the contract. As long as I have it there by five o’clock, it’s all good.”
“You’re impossible.”
“But you love me.”
“Yes, I do.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for everything.”
“Do you mind a word of advice?”
“When has that ever stopped you?” It was a rhetorical question.
Jared grimaced. “I’m a guy, Dani. I know how guys think. Sometimes we have to process things. I think you’d be wise to give Winston a few days to cool off. He’ll calm down. He’ll realize you weren’t keeping him in the dark on purpose. If you try to have a confrontation today, things might get even worse.”
“I’ll think about it,” she promised, jumping down from her seat and retrieving her things. She stood on the sidewalk long enough to watch him drive away. The she picked up her suitcase and trudged up the flagstone path to the house.
Twelve
Nathaniel had woefully underestimated how difficult it was going to be to have Peaches at work with him, even for a little while. To make matters worse, Dani’s empty office mocked him at every turn. He’d called a temp agency to hire a nanny for the day, but they had no one available except a college student with no real experience in childcare.
Because he was desperate, he told them to send her over. The girl, Wendy, was fine with the baby, careful and attentive to Nathaniel’s instructions, but Wendy was a talker. By midafternoon, Nathaniel’s patience was shot.
He desperately needed two files Dani had been working on before the holidays. Both were spreadsheets containing customer information. He found the emails where Dani had sent him an original draft, but the contact info he needed was more recent. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the passwords for his executive assistant’s computer.
A tension headache wrapped his skull in pain. Get over it, Nathaniel. This is your new reality. No Dani. No smooth days at work. No hot, erotic nights at home. He was alone everywhere he turned.
That was the way he liked it. That was the way he had crafted his life.
At least he had the baby.
* * *
Taking Jared’s advice was virtually impossible. Dani tried, she really did. She checked off all the items on her vacation-days to-do list one by one. But eventually, her apartment was spotless. Her closets were an efficiency expert’s dream, and she had made it through not one but two blockbuster movies at the theater and couldn’t have done a recap if she’d been under oath. The hours crawled by.
Friday morning, she caved. With trembling fingers, she picked up her cell phone and called the main line at New Century Tech. When the receptionist answered, Dani cleared her throat. “May I speak to Nathaniel Winston, please?”
The woman’s voice was perky. “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Mr. Winston won’t be in today. May I give you his voice mail?”
“No, thanks. It will keep till next week.”
She hung up and gnawed the edge of her fingernail. Nathaniel Workaholic Winston had taken a day off? It didn’t compute. Quickly, she ran through all the scenarios. Maybe he had the flu. Maybe the baby was sick. Maybe Ophelia had eluded investigators.
Or perhaps the baby had been returned to her mother, and Nathaniel was now headed for the Caribbean and a much-needed diving trip to unwind.
In the absence of hard facts, Dani didn’t know what to do. In her mind, she had seen herself marching into New Century Tech armed with righteous indignation and confronting the wretched man on familiar ground. She definitely didn’t want to go to the one place where she had first been intimate with him.
Memories of Christmas weekend made her shiver with a combination of yearning and dread. For those three days, she had lived in a dream world where Nathaniel needed and wanted her. But it had been a charade. A pleasant fiction.
Today was reality. The only choice left was to venture into enemy territory.
She had laundered the clothes Nathaniel bought for her and tucked them in a corner of her closet where she wouldn’t have to think about him. Instead of couture items, today she chose from her own carefully curated wardrobe.
Appearance was important. She wanted to look confidant and poised. If there was any hope of convincing Nathaniel to give their relationship a fair hearing, she had to maintain control of her emotions and the confrontation.
He owed her an apology. Beyond that, she desperately hoped he owed her some kind of admission that he wanted more from her. More from them. Despite what he had told her about his childhood and adolescence, she refused to believe his heart was as impenetrable as he pretended.
She had watched him with Peaches. Seen the tenderness. The protectiveness. Nathaniel had a deep capacity for caring, even if he didn’t recognize it. There was more to him than the hard-edged businessman who refused to be manipulated.
At least she hoped so. Hope was all she had left at this point.
In the end, she chose a work outfit. Black pencil skirt, royal blue sleeveless silk top and a matching waist-length jacket. The temps had remained balmy since the thaw, so she omitted tights and added her favorite pair of black flats. Her hair was cooperating for once. She brushed it vigorously and left it down.
The snow was completely gone by now, though the ground remained damp and mushy. Spring came early to Atlanta. It wouldn’t be many weeks before daffodils began popping up. When she slid behind the wheel of her little car, it was impossible not to compare it to Nathaniel’s Mercedes or the Hummer or even the helicopter.
None of those things were requirements for her happiness. As nice as it was to be pampered with fancy clothes and pricey transportation and a luxurious condo, they meant nothing in the end. It was the man she wanted, the man she needed. Even if he lost everything he had built from the ground up, just as his father had, the man at the helm of NCT would be more than enough for Dani.
She found a parking space on the street and fed the meter. Nathaniel’s building was not someplace she could simply sashay into and catch a ride upstairs. Fortunately for her, Reggie was on duty.
He gave her a broad smile. “Hey there, Ms. Meadows. How was your holiday with the family?”
“Wonderful. And your clan?”
“Can’t complain.”
She gave him a conspiratorial smile. “I was hoping to surprise Mr. Winston. Do you mind letting me go up without telling him I’m on the way?”
His smile faded. “Mr. Winston’s a tough customer, ma’am. He goes by the book. I can’t afford to lose my job.”
Squashing her panicky, guilty feelings, she nodded. “I understand. But you have my solemn word that if anything were to happen, I’d vouch for you. I’d tell him I slipped past you when you weren’t looking.” She stopped and decided to be honest. “We had an argument. A bad one. He’s being bullheaded. Please. If he slams the door in my face, I’ll leave and won’t come back, I swear.”
The man shifted from one foot to the other. “Let me call him first.”
Damn it. She knew what the answer would be. “Never mind,” she said dully. “I’ll catch him at work next week.” With the one tiny bit of hope she had amassed crushed into nothingness, she turned and headed for the street.
“Wait.” Reggie called out to her, but not before her hand was on the glass door.
She turned around. “Yes?”
“I’ll do it. I’ll let you go up. I’ve seen how that man looks at you.”
“You will? You have?”
The too-overweight-to-run secur
ity guard in his navy serge uniform and wrinkled white shirt nodded glumly. “Women. Y’all are pretty to look at, but sometimes you twist a man in knots. No offense, ma’am.”
“None taken.” She beamed at him. “Thank you. Thank you.”
He grimaced. “Don’t thank me yet. I’ve seen that gentleman angry. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
She didn’t. Not at all. In the elevator, she trained her gaze on the neon-lit strip above the doors and watched the numbers increase. At last, the elevator swished to a smooth stop, a distant bell dinged and the doors opened.
Unfortunately, she’d left her stomach behind somewhere, several floors below.
Smoothing her damp palms on her skirt, she hitched the narrow strap of her modest purse higher on her shoulder and said a little prayer. Then she pressed the buzzer and waited.
Long moments later, the door swung open. Nathaniel stood there staring at her with narrowed eyes, naked from the waist up. He wore dress pants and socks and shoes, but his broad, tanned, really spectacular chest was bare.
“What do you want, Dani? I’m busy.”
His expression could have frozen the sun.
She refused to take a step backward. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“I’m not giving you your job back.” Now his glare held a lick of heat.
“I’m not here about the job.”
A sound from the other room drew his attention. “Fifteen minutes,” he said. He strode away, leaving her to follow him in confusion.
In the den, she found Peaches, happily sitting in a wide-based contraption with music knobs and chew toys and other brightly colored amusements. The baby chortled as if she recognized Dani. Dani crouched and tickled the little girl’s cheeks. “Hey, honey bunch. Did you miss me?”
Nathaniel stood in silence, frowning, his arms crossed over his chest.
She noticed several things at once—number one, a pale blue dress shirt tossed over the arm of the sofa. It was covered in infant cereal, presumably from the bowl of congealing goo on the coffee table. No fire burned in the grate. The small Christmas tree was gone.
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