She nodded absently, gazing at the fire. “Leaving your family and everyone behind?”
He chuckled. “You’re one to talk.”
“I’m not close to my parents, but you were always pretty tight with yours.”
“Well, my mom’s not too hot on the idea. But my dad is really supportive. I think he’s proud. And he never got to attend school anywhere nearly that prestigious.”
She looked back at him, gauging his face. He just beamed at her, pleased.
“You know, I love Ocean Beach,” Ferno said. “But I’ve wanted to move for a long time now.”
“Really?” Alex said. “You never told me that. Why?”
“Because. Living in one place for so long is just…stifling. I want to get a broader experience. Find new places, try new things.”
“And new people.”
“Well, sure,” Ferno said. “That goes with it. I’m tired of living in the same town. You know, I really was a little upset when you moved away.”
“You were?” Her heartbeat quickened.
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad about it or anything. I understood that you were moving on.”
“Why were you upset?”
“Because I was jealous. I’ve been wanting that opportunity for myself for so long. I know it’s silly, but I just didn’t think it was fair that you got out of town first.” He shook his head and smiled. “Sorry if I was a bit of a jerk when you left. I didn’t mean it. I was just being stupid.”
Just then, a huge boom filled the air and the black sky above them lit up in a burst of color. There was crackling as sparks dotted the sky and the second boom erupted into a new shower of fireworks.
“Dude, awesome!” Ferno said, putting his arms behind his head and reclining back on the sand to better see the show. “Good view from down here, the fire doesn’t get in your way.”
She fell back on the sand next to him, and others did likewise. They lay there in silence for a while, watching the shapes burst and fizzle in the blackness.
It was a night so close to perfect—just lacking one minor thing. She sighed, imagining if things had played out differently. Not just tonight, but so many years ago.
She imagined Ferno’s warm hand falling over hers on the sand, his head turning to look at her, the firework display no competition for his attention. Him rolling to his side, leaning over her and brushing her lips with his. The culmination of the show in the sky would pale in comparison to the look blazing in his eyes, boring into her, thrilling her to the core.
Watching the fireworks illuminate Ferno’s face, making his brown eyes flicker with gold flecks, she found her mind wandering to another set of dark eyes. A pang went through her, and she wasn’t sure if it was from missing her chance with Ferno years ago, or if it was something else. She wondered what Josh was doing right now and imagined what it would’ve been like to have him here with her instead.
~
“So how was lunch?”
Alex was lounging on a sofa in her mom’s apartment Sunday afternoon, and Elei was at her feet munching on a chocolate bar she’d somehow managed to fit in to her latest diet plan.
Alex groaned.
“That bad, huh? Wasn’t your dad’s girlfriend nice?”
“Karen,” she said the name with dripping sarcasm, “has fake boobs, bleach-fried blonde hair, and as little as thirty-something years to her name. She was all sickeningly sweet to me in this completely condescending way. So lunch was dreadful, if you must know.”
“She’s in her thirties?” Elei raised an eyebrow.
“Early thirties. She could be my older sister. It’s disgusting!”
Elei shook her head. “In with the old, out with the new, eh?”
“I didn’t see this coming. My dad dating again? I think I’m still in shock.”
Elei frowned, her perfectly sculpted brows pulling together. “I’m sure it’s a little traumatic to find out your dad’s replacing your mother… Sorry if that sounds harsh.”
“I don’t know. Maybe that is what he’s doing. But she’s so young… I almost feel like he’s replacing me instead.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Elei gave her a reassuring pat on the leg.
Alex didn’t want to deal with all this. “Man, this weekend sure has flown by,” she said, changing gears.
“I wish you could stay longer,” Elei said.
“Me too. Last night at the bonfire I was realizing how much I miss everyone.”
“Everyone? Or just Ferno?” Elei shot her a sideways glance, but there was only a hint of a smile. She wasn’t teasing.
Alex sighed. “Last night was agonizing. You have no idea.”
Elei looked up from her chocolate. “Agonizing? Why? I thought you had fun.”
“I did. It’s just…”
“What did Ferno do this time?”
“It’s not what he did. It’s just…” Alex dropped her face into her hands, letting her mass of hair fall around her. “Oh Elei, what am I going to do? Coming out here just brought up all those unresolved feelings all over again. I was doing fine until last night and then…BAM.” She flipped her hair back and mocked being gut-punched with her own fist.
Elei shook her head sympathetically. “I’m sorry. That really sucks. Here.” She broke a piece off the chocolate bar and handed the rest over. Alex took it and violently bit off a chunk. Elei sighed and didn’t speak for a moment. Alex knew she was probably sick of hearing about him, about everything Ferno-related. But at least she acted sympathetic.
After a few moments of silence in which she seemed to be thinking, Elei finally spoke. “Alex, can I ask you something?”
Alex dropped her hands and looked at her raven-haired, perfectly tanned friend. What was it like to look like that and have the pick of guys you wanted? “Yeah. What is it?”
“How can you do it? How can you just go on, being friends, being so close to someone you really care about and not do something? I’m not trying to be critical or judgmental. I just don’t get it.”
Alex shrugged. “That’s just the way I am. I don’t initiate things like that.”
“But you’re so comfortable around guys. A ton of women I know would love to have that kind of confidence.”
“I’m confident, but asking a guy out is just a tad over my line.”
“But you’re sick of this, right? The subtle flirting, the back-and-forth looks, like you’re playing a tennis match where no one is willing to drop the racquet.”
“Yes. Of course I am!”
“Well, then do something about it. Don’t just go on living this way. If you act the way you’ve always acted, you’re gonna get the same results. You want something different to happen, try a new approach.”
“What are you saying? Start over with Ferno? I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“So maybe not with Ferno, then. What about that other guy—Josh?”
“Oh.” At the mention of his name, a spring of convoluted emotions bubbled to the surface. “But…but what would I say?”
Elei’s face changed. A smile played at her lips. “Say whatever comes naturally. Tell him you like hanging out with him. Tell him he’s a pretty cool guy. Tell him you think he’s hot…”
“I can’t tell him that!”
“He’s not really that good looking, huh?” Elei frowned.
“Of course he is.” Alex crossed her arms. “He’s got amazing eyes and hair and he’s tall…”
“Okay then. So he’s hot.”
“Yeah, he’s hot.” She winced. For some reason saying the words out loud…about Josh…made her insides swim.
“But he’s no Cam, right?”
“What? Who cares about Cam? Josh is plenty hot, thank you very much. Anyone with an ounce of brain matter would realize that subtle looks are more…” She was about to shoot her friend a glare, but realized that Elei was grinning at her. No, not at her. At her expense. She was baiting her? Alex felt her face flame. Her feet started tapping again. Where was her ya
rn bag? She had to knit something.
“So ask if he wants to go out for dinner,” Elei said calmly.
“Asking him out seems a bit sudden. Knowing how shy he is, it might have the opposite effect. I don’t want to freak him out.”
Elei sighed and flicked her hair back. “You don’t have to ask him on a date. Just do something—something you wouldn’t normally think of doing. Push him out of his comfort zone. Make him talk to you. At least you’ll know whether or not you two have a shot, and you won’t have to go around pining for him in secret, wasting years of your life.”
Alex sighed. Maybe Elei had a point. She hated to admit it, but the girl had all kinds of experience in this area—whereas Alex had none.
“In fact—” Elei launched toward her, swooping her phone away. She pressed a few buttons, biting her lip in concentration.
“What are you doing?” Alex asked.
“Aha! Here it is. Josh Schuyler—that’s him, right? I knew you had a thing for him—this proves it.”
“What proves it?”
“He’s in your contacts.”
“That doesn’t prove—that was just in case I couldn’t get a hold of Chloe for some reason—”
Elei shot her a triumphant look. “I’d say now’s as good a time as ever to have a little chat with the guy.” She tapped the screen and held it out to Alex. “It’s ringing.”
“What? Elei, I’m gonna kill yo—” She was about to end the call but put the phone to her ear first.
“Hello?” his deep voice answered.
Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Hi.”
“Alex?”
She cleared her throat. “Hey, Josh. How’s it going?”
“Good. You’re still in California, right? Is everything okay?”
Alex opened her eyes and glared at her friend. Elei was gesturing with her hand, encouraging her on. “Uh, Yeah. Everything’s good. I just called to…to say hi.”
“Oh.”
“You’re not busy, are you?”
“No. I’m just watching TV. Are you enjoying your trip?”
“Yeah, it’s been nice.”
“Getting a tan?”
“My version of getting a tan is just piling on layers of freckles until they overlap.”
He chuckled. “So you’re out there visiting your parents?”
“Yeah. My dad surprised me with a plane ticket.”
“He must miss you. So you’re staying at his place? Is that where you used to live?”
“No, I lived with my mom. Staying with Dad wouldn’t be very comfortable.”
“Oh?”
“He lives in a tiny, one-bedroom loft that’s usually missing important stuff like hand soap or paper towels. And he never has food in the fridge.”
“How does he survive?” There was a playful note in his voice.
“Oh, he’s always in a state of flux, so he doesn’t need much. He spends more time on the yacht—that’s his real bachelor pad.” She cringed even as she said it. Thinking of her dad as an eligible bachelor was just creepy. A thought struck her. “Actually, I met him there this morning and it was even more bare than normal. That might have something to do with his new girlfriend, though.” She sighed, and Josh was quiet.
Elei rose to leave the room, and Alex couldn’t decide whether to glare at her again or mouth “thank you.” When she was gone, Alex thought hard of what to say to fill the awkward silence on the phone. She lowered her voice. “So have you, uh, found out anything about your ability?”
“No, not yet.”
“I know it’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s okay. I haven’t quite had time to process everything yet.”
“Yeah. I get that,” Alex said. “It was a little overwhelming for me when I found out what I could do. And that’s not—I mean, yours seems like a bigger deal.”
“I don’t know about that. Super speed is pretty cool.”
“Well, I do love a good run. Especially on the beach.”
“Oh, yeah?” Josh asked. “You go running in public?”
“Yes, but I’m careful. I used to get up early, like right before dawn, and go running on the beach every morning.”
“That sounds really nice.”
A beat passed.
“Alex…” Josh said. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Have you ever wondered about your…I don’t know, destiny or whatever?”
“What do you mean?” she said.
“I don’t mean that all New-Agey like, I just mean, do you have any dreams or goals for your life? Like win the Olympics or something?” There was a smile in his voice.
“I’m not sure. I mean, I guess I’m trying to figure all that out. Moving was part of the transition, to get me thinking about my options, and I guess it freed me from the pressure or expectations of my parents. Maybe it’s just because I’m a freshman, but I feel like my possibilities are wide open—you know? Like, I can do whatever I want—pick whatever kind of life I want to have—maybe I’ll run in the Olympics, or maybe I’ll do something else. That probably sounds silly to someone who’s graduated college.”
“No, it doesn’t. It sounds optimistic.”
“And you’re not an optimist.” She said it as a statement more than an accusation.
He sighed. “I don’t know. I definitely was at one time. I think I may be coming back around.”
“Well, you should be. Because you’re a pretty cool guy. I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s going on with your ability soon enough.”
“Uh. Thanks. So when are you coming back?”
“Tomorrow night.”
“Okay, well enjoy the rest of your trip.”
“Thanks.”
When Elei came back in the room, and saw Alex was off the phone, her eyebrows shot up. “Well?”
“Well what? Did you ask him out?”
“I told him he was a cool guy.”
Elei gave an exaggerated groan and rolled her eyes. “What am I going to do with you?”
Josh had promised Chloe he wouldn’t risk his life. So he wouldn’t. He would start with something small.
Thursday was the first day he actually felt normal again and up for a little experimentation. Right after work he headed to the hospital. When he walked into the emergency room waiting area there was no one at the reception desk—that was a good sign. The handful of patients waiting to be admitted were all either focused on their own ailments or the television. No one was watching except the little girl holding her teddy bear. But she looked too frightened of the place in general to call him out.
He ducked around the corner without being noticed. Now he just had to make it through the swinging doors and into the holding area. He leapt forward and shoved the door open—right into a nurse.
“Whoa, there, boy. Everyone’s in a hurry, but calm down a bit. All right?” While he stood there speechless, she went around, muttering under her breath, “Visitors.”
Apparently his need for stealth was completely unfounded. He walked past the curtained area, quickly bypassing the nurse station. Turning the corner, he found another row of curtains that hung from the ceiling to a foot from the ground. He ducked, searching for occupants underneath each. Legs, no legs, hairy legs.
Now he just had to get up the nerve, something he thought he’d already done, but now that it was staring him in the face, things were a little bit different. He pulled a curtain aside, revealing an old man with an oxygen tube in his nose. A shocked expression appeared on the man’s face at the intrusion, causing his monitor to beep faster.
“Uh, sorry,” Josh said, pulling the curtain back quickly. Too much risk with that one. He went to the next cubicle.
There was a high-pitched moan from behind the curtain.
“It’s all right, honey. The doctor will be in soon to look at you. Just hold on.”
“Oww. My leg.” A whine.
“Sweetie, do you want me to get you an appl
e juice? Would that make you feel better?”
The voice turned grouchy. “Apple juice is for little kids. I’m thirteen.”
“How about a soda then?”
“Do you have Dr. Pepper?”
“Be right back.”
When the nurse exited the curtained area, Josh quickly turned away and meandered a few steps as if he had another destination in mind. Once she’d left, he came back to the curtain and drew it aside.
A girl with spiked pink hair lay on her stomach on the patient bed, one leg of her baggy cargo pants hiked up to reveal a nasty wound on the back of her calf. A red wad of gauze lay nearby, looking like it’d fallen off the wound. At least it’s the other leg, he thought, rubbing his scabbing shin.
“Hey,” Josh said, keeping his voice low.
The girl craned her neck and raised an eyebrow at him. Her black-lined eyes widened in curiosity.
“That looks pretty nasty,” he said. “What happened?”
“You work here or what?”
“I…help out.”
She shrugged and fiddled with the spiked black leather cuff on her arm. “You going to rat on me if I tell you?”
“Of course not.” Josh said. “I’m just here to help.”
Her eyes shifted to the edge of the curtain where the nurse had exited, and when she was satisfied they were alone, she spoke. “We were TPing some houses…some old guy spotted us, so I took off running. Stupid neighbor’s dog took a chunk out of my leg.”
“Does it hurt?”
“It’s no big deal.” Her grimace gave her away, and Josh thought he saw moisture in her eyes.
“It’s okay, you can tell me.”
“Hurts like hell.” She winced. “They think it tore my muscle.”
“Do you know what they’re going to do to fix it?”
“Just bandage it, I think. She said I have to get a rabies shot though. Man, that sucks.”
Josh took a deep breath. Was he really ready to do this? He took a step closer. One side of her hoodie jacket had slipped down, revealing her bare shoulder. He placed his palm to her skin. “I hope you feel better.”
A sudden searing pain made him gasp, and he pulled his hand back. It started in his calf and shot up the back of his leg, burning like a fire. His leg buckled, and he stumbled but caught his weight on the other leg. He clung to the rail on the girl’s bed, using it to drag himself out of the cubicle. Letting go for a second, he grabbed hold of the curtain, popping several rings out of the track where it hung from the ceiling.
Outsider: The Flawed Series Book Two Page 15