by Frank Smith
"I didn't do it. Georgina did. A DIY operation. She performed the Catholic Rite of Exorcism."
"Holy smokes, Frank, either you just hit on a coincidence and the phenomenon went away on its own or you caught the devil by the tail. What do you think?"
"I'm content to let Georgina take the credit," I said grabbing another slice of pizza.
"That doesn't answer my question, Frank. What do you think happened?"
I chewed thoughtfully before answering.
"I think the phenomenon appeared spontaneously and disappeared spontaneously. The disappearance happened to coincide with Geogina's exorcism. That's what I think most likely happened. Still??"
"Still some doubt remains," Sal said. "The weird physics of the whole cosmic ray business was fascinating. I'm disappointed though. I thought we were getting somewhere."
"Well, it was fun while it lasted, wasn't it? On the chance that Georgina's exorcism really did do the trick Tom pointed out a bonus. According to canon law the only one who can do an exorcism is a validly ordained priest."
Sal downed the remainder of his beer and said. "So, Georgina performs the rite, it works, ergo, her ordination is just as valid as mine or yours,"
"Which Georgina never had any doubt about in the first place. As for challenging the Catholic Church's contention that all ordinations in the Anglican community are invalid, though, our questionable exorcism experiment is worthless. Georgina and I were the only witnesses and the experiment is not reproducible."
"But we know that the errant cosmic rays are gone," Sal said "at least temporarily. Maybe they will come back again. Who else knows about them?"
"Just Tom Lacey and Joe Amanti; five altogether including me, Georgina, and now you. Six with Vicki."
"Exactly when did you do this?" Sal asked.
"Right before Vicki and I went to Rome to meet with Cardinal Tossi."
"Did you tell him about it?"
"Nope. I didn't want to give up my main bargaining chip in my quest to marry Vicki. Tossi didn't ask-I didn't tell. What he did ask is whether I intended to do the experiment I had planned with Georgina. I said no."
"No you wouldn't do an experiment with a phenomenon that no longer existed. You traded that for his approval of your marriage petition?"
"Nihil pro quo," I said. "He got what he wanted and I got what I wanted."
"Jeez, Frank, you should have been a Jesuit. We're the ones with a reputation for being devious."
Sal tried to take another swig from his empty beer bottle and looked thoughtful. "So Tossi still thinks the original experiment you had planned with Georgina could still be done."
"Right."
Sal smiled as our waitress put down two fresh bottles of beer.
"Thank you. We'll take a check when you get a chance," he said to her. "And," after he took a good swig "Tossi found about the experiment in the first place from that email you sent me."
"That's the only way he could have known."
"He also knows that I'm a physicist and capable of carrying out such an experiment with Georgina myself."
"A nice insurance policy," I said. "Case you ever have trouble with the CDF."
"Or, if I need to petition them for anything. By the way, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you about the Eagles' games. I know I promised to let you use one of the season tickets I inherited from my brother-in-law."
I pretended not to have guessed what happened to the tickets. "I figured you have so many cousins and?"
"Not my cousins. Angela Rossi. I took Angela to the games."
Sal grabbed the check. "My treat," he said and tilted his bottle toward me. "Your petition to marry, Frank, how was that actually worded?"
The End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Frank A. Smith was Professor of Physics at West Chester University of Pennsylvania until his retirement. He is the author of numerous papers in professional journals and of an internet study guide for introductory college physics. The "Cosmic Ray Heresy" is his first novel. In addition to his tenure at West Chester University Dr. Smith has been an adjunct professor at Temple University, Gwynedd-Mercy University, and Philadelphia University. He resides with his wife in West Chester, Pa and Ocean City, NJ.