“Hey, man,” I say. Natalie crosses her arms. “I’ll leave you be.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she says, but I ignore her and walk toward the pool. I sit down on the edge and stare at the skyline. I pull my shoes and socks off and dip my bare feet into the water.
Behind me, clusters of people dance under the lights. In the pool, a girl in a red bra swims up to her friend, and they sit on the step. I stare at their practically naked bodies. Do they turn you on? They’re everything a man should be attracted to in a woman.
I turn away from them. The boys are now on their own. The tall, lanky one with red hair grabs the other and shoves him under the water. They sink under, then both kick up, spluttering for air. The redhead laughs, then leaps at the other boy, tackling him down. He’s not muscular, and his skin is pale, yet I find I can’t look away from him.
I recall the attraction I felt toward other guys at the LIC. Toby excluded, I never felt anything particularly strong for anyone. But in general, I felt it every time a cute guy would smile at me, or when I was fortunate enough to be around someone shirtless. So I felt it, sure, but I didn’t understand it, and I figured it’d stop when I met my Chosen. We’d meet, and the weird feelings I had would go away. Then we’d get married and have babies and I’d do all the stuff I’m supposed to do. I guess I thought I was straight just because everyone treated me like I was, and no one ever gave me a chance to think otherwise.
Speaking of guys I’m attracted to, Dyl appears in the living room. A second later, Juliet steps down off the staircase and faces him. He touches her hand, which makes my heart race, and then they separate. The sight fills me with a weird, deflated feeling. Like, I’m so glad she shook him off, but I’m also a bit crushed that he’s trying so hard and failing. Can’t she see what I see in him?
Juliet heads toward the bathroom, and Dyl just stands there, his posture floppier than usual. He takes in a breath, which perks him up a bit, and then turns around and walks up the stairs, presumably back to his bedroom.
I put my shoes and socks back on and stand up. Dyl, my Dyl, is currently upstairs, alone. If this truly is the end, I need to see him one last time. There aren’t many things in life that I truly need, but spending time with the real him one last time is definitely one of them. Doing this probably isn’t the best idea, but Juliet’s in the bathroom, so I have a bit of time. As long as I move fast, it’ll be fine. It’s reckless, sure, but if I’m careful it won’t ruin my chances with her.
With that in mind, I walk back through the party. When I reach the staircase, I do a quick check to make sure no one is watching, then I duck under the little black chain that’s blocking the entrance. Once I’m through, I check again and realize that no one has noticed I’ve committed a party foul. They’re all too obsessed with themselves. Grinning, I jog up the stairs.
At the top of the stairs it’s still and so quiet. The staircase leads into a big open area with two white leather lounge chairs in front of a fireplace. A foosball table is in the corner. At the far end of the room is a single door. It’s ajar, the light is on, and faint punk music is playing. My shoes click against the polished timber as I cross the room. When I reach it I knock once, which makes the door swing inward slightly.
“Juliet?” he calls.
“Try again,” I say.
“Caden? What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Oh. Um, okay. Give me a sec, I’m getting dressed.”
I tuck my hands into my pockets. There’s no questioning it, this is weird. It’s a big, important night, the biggest ever, really, and I should be with Juliet. Instead, I’m here, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m actually surprised Kaylee hasn’t told me to stop. Usually things that make me happy piss her off.
I’m still here, Caden. Just so you know.
Oh. You know what I’m going to do, right? Does your silence mean it’s okay with you?
She sighs. I still think you’re being a massive idiot, but I can’t stop you, so I’m going to make you a deal. I’ll let you do this, but this has to be your last hurrah with him. Do you hear me? This is the end of the two of you. Even if the contest doesn’t end tonight, this is it. No more drives, no more anything. You’ve done everything I’ve asked, so I’m going to give you some time to end it, but as soon as you go back downstairs it’s over, all right?
Agreed.
Great. Now, I’m going to give you two a bit of privacy. You have ten minutes, Caden. Do what you have to do, and then I want you downstairs with Juliet.
You’re the best, Kaylee. Truly.
I know, Caden. Don’t make me regret it.
The door swings open, revealing Dyl. He’s now wearing white pants and a white shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned, showing his chest. He narrows his eyes, and it takes every bit of self-control within me to keep my feet planted. All my brain wants me to do is charge forward, grab him by his shirt, and kiss him. He’d stumble back until his legs hit the bed and we’d fall down together and …
His perfect eyebrows furrow and he starts buttoning up his shirt, silencing my urge to kiss him. “What are you doing here, Caden?”
For some reason, he’s mad, and trying to kiss him now might result in him breaking my nose. I’ve decided to trust him, but that doesn’t mean he’s suddenly incapable of hurting me.
“Juliet is looking for you,” he says. “You shouldn’t be here. You should be with her.”
“I told you, I wanted to see you.”
The crease between his eyebrows gets deeper. Wait, his expression isn’t anger; his eyes are too soft for that. What he’s feeling is concern. For some reason, he’s worried about me.
“Dyl, I know what I’m doing. She’s in the bathroom, so we’ve got a bit of time. We don’t have much, but it’s better than nothing. Do you want me to go?”
He looks past me, checking the foyer.
“No, I don’t want you to go. Come in.”
He moves aside and I enter his bedroom. He closes the door behind him and locks it. As the lock clicks into place, I wonder why he did it: is it because we’re Love Interests and we can’t be seen together, or is it because he knows what I’m about to do and wants privacy? I really hope it’s option two.
“Sorry if I seemed weird before,” he says. “I’m just confused. This is so unlike you.”
I pause. “What do you mean?”
He runs his hand through his hair. His shirt is now fully buttoned up, but it still pulls up a bit, giving me a glimpse of his stomach. Now I get why Love Interests are taught to do it; it’s a pretty big turn-on. “It’s just, well, you normally do everything by the book. Whenever Juliet is around, you’re always the perfect Nice. But the perfect Nice wouldn’t be here. He’d be downstairs, with Juliet. And yet … you’re here.”
I nod. “That I am. Again, if you’d like me to leave, I’ll go.”
He smiles. “I’m not complaining, not at all. It’s just worth noting, I think. So, what do you think of my room? Do you now know why the LIC spent so much time designing it? Is it, I don’t know, making you fall in love with me?”
I glance around his room. It’s a lot bigger than mine, and it’s really freaking adult. That’s my first thought: this is a man’s bedroom, not a boy’s. I mean, there’s art on the wall! Not a movie poster or something, but actual art! His bed is a double, and the blanket is light gray, buried beneath dark-gray throw pillows. An e-reader sits on the wooden bedside table, beside a shiny chrome lamp.
The best part of the room, though, has to be the window. It takes up most of the far wall, and it’s framed by soft-looking navy curtains. Through the window I can see trees and the night sky.
“Actually, yeah, it does kind of work. I mean, it doesn’t make me fall in love with you, but I do know more about you now. For example, now I know that you prefer e-books to print books, you monster.”
He laughs. “That’s actually true. Print books are so heavy, and I always wreck them, which makes me fee
l bad. What else?”
I point to his record player. “You still listen to records, for some reason.”
“It’s all about the sound, man. There’s nothing like it. Anything else?”
I nod toward his bed. “Your bed is a double.”
“And what does that mean, exactly?”
“It means you want a partner. Or maybe I’m thinking about it too much. You could just like extra space. I don’t know.”
If I want to make a move, this is my one chance. How much time has passed since Kaylee left? Maybe five minutes. That leaves me with only five more minutes to spend with him. And chatting is nice, but we’re alone in his bedroom. I repeat: we’re alone in his bedroom, and he’s told me twice now that he doesn’t want me to go. This is the best chance I’m ever going to get.
“Hey, Dyl?”
He looks at me. “Yeah?”
“I’m going to do something, and if you want me to stop at any time, you can tell me, okay?”
All he does is nod, so I reach out and grab his wrist. I hang there for a second, my thumb drawing circles on his skin, waiting to see if my touch is acceptable. He doesn’t move away or say anything. Instead, a cute smile lights up his face. I pull him forward a step, so he’s directly in front of me, and then I grab his shoulders. He’s gone soft, pliable, and it’s so fucking hot. I squeeze him maybe a little bit harder than I have to, just to feel how firm he is, and he seems to like it, because he bucks slightly, his knees relaxing. I guide him back a few steps to the spot where I want him, with his back pressed firmly against the window.
“Is this good?” he asks.
“It’s perfect.”
I place one hand flat on the cold glass beside his head and then lean forward so that we’re almost touching. “Are you okay with this, Dyl?”
He nods. “I am.”
I lean forward and kiss him. He kisses me back, slower than he did at the shed. Unlike last time, I don’t feel like ripping his clothes off, but this … this is better. Softer. Kinder. More like I’ve finally found a way to express how frigging much I like him.
He closes his lips and pulls back a little bit. His hands are on my hips, his fingers playing with the edge of my shirt. I breathe in, taking in some much-needed air.
“We’re out of time,” he says.
I want to say he’s wrong, but I know he’s right. Seconds are all I have, so I kiss him again. He kisses me back, but it’s different—lighter, hesitant. He closes his lips and rubs my arms.
“Caden?”
“Yeah?”
“We need to go.”
I clench my hand into a fist and tap it against the window. “Yep.”
I press my forehead against his.
“I’ll give you some time,” he says. “I’ll give you a couple minutes to find her, and then it’s game on. And hey, Caden?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m rooting for you.”
I close my eyes and press my forehead against his just a little bit harder. “I’m rooting for you too.”
I tap the glass one last time, then I take a step back. The air away from him feels cold, and I know why: I will never be that close to him again. That kiss was it for us. I want to say something to him, to tell him how much I wish I weren’t competing against him, or how much I want him to be my boyfriend. But I’ve already spent more time than I should’ve here, and he’s right. I can’t stay.
Somehow, I leave his room without looking back.
And the grand finale begins.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
I step down off the staircase and scan the crowd for Juliet. I peer around a tall guy in a bad suit and spot her. She’s standing in front of the pool with her arms crossed. I stride over to her.
“Juliet!” I call as I open the pool gate. “There you are!”
She turns, faces me, and smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her.
“Caden!” she says. “I was looking for you! Where’d you go?”
“I was looking for you! I guess we just missed each other.”
“Huh. Anyway, I’m so glad I found you, because I have news. Dyl invited a bunch of scientists to this party. Or, his aunt did. Apparently she has a bunch of connections in the industry. This is, like, seriously life-changing stuff. If I can get one of them to even think about giving me an internship, this could affect the rest of my life. Seriously, Caden, this could be the start of my career. See, look, there!” She points to an Indian man standing beside the punch bowl. “That’s James Batra. He’s the son of Jairam Batra, and they both work at Harvard. Look at that, James freaking Batra at the same party as me.” She runs her fingers through her hair.
This is … unexpected. The scientists obviously mean that Dyl is still playing the game. Or maybe he isn’t? Maybe he just wanted to do one last nice thing for Juliet? That’s totally something he’d do. But why didn’t he tell me? No, he’d have told me if he were just being kind, so he’s still competing. I can’t be mad, I told him to keep fighting after all, but I guess I just didn’t expect him to try this hard.
“Should I talk to him?” asks Juliet. I blink, then realize she’s talking about the scientist. “I don’t want to seem overeager or anything, even though I am. What should I do, Caden?”
“Be yourself. It’s enough.”
Her gaze softens. “You’re amazing, you know that, right? This incredible thing is happening to me and the first thing I wanted to do was tell you about it. I know we haven’t defined our relationship, but I like you a lot, and …”
Kiss her now! She wants you to!
I …
Kiss her right now! I’m not asking, Caden.
I step closer so that our bodies are almost touching. Her eyes go wide but she doesn’t pull away.
“Caden, what are you …”
I lean forward, tilting my head to the side. My lips are right beside hers. I pause, because I …
Keep going, Caden. If you stop now I’ll …
I know what you’ll do, Kaylee.
I close my eyes and kiss her. Her lips are even softer than Dyl’s, and sweeter. It feels nice, tender and soft. Yet it doesn’t claw at my chest like kissing Dyl did, and a part of me knows it never will. She tilts her head to the side and kisses me again, her hand curling inward against my chest. I pull back and meet her eyes.
This is it: the grand finale. Am I doing this? Can I do this? Tears form in my eyes and I blink rapidly to get rid of them before Juliet notices. My heart aches, the pain so strong it almost knocks me to my knees. I have to do this. I have no choice. He must know I have no choice, just like he had no choice but to keep fighting for Juliet. I can already tell that I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life if I open my mouth. But the worst part of it is that I know, and I think I’ve always known, that when it came to this moment I would go through with it.
“I love you, Juliet,” I say. My voice comes out clear and strong, just how I practiced it. “I think I always have, ever since I first met you all those years ago. And now I’m telling you all the things I wish I had had the courage to say back then. If you want me to be your boyfriend, all you have to do is ask.”
There. It’s done.
She closes her eyes. “Caden, I like you too, and I want to be your girlfriend, and you have no idea how happy I feel right now that you said that. But like I said, there are a lot of people here who could start my career and that matters a lot to me. So I know this is going to suck to hear, but would it be okay if I pause this conversation and talk to them?”
“Juliet, I’d be upset if you didn’t. Go crush it. I know you will. I’ll be waiting.”
She grins, takes in a deep breath, and makes her way across the room. James Batra looks up from his cup of punch and smiles at her. She shakes his hand, and they start to talk.
I need to sit down. I feel light-headed and dizzy, like I could faint at any second. That was so close. The night isn’t over yet, and she didn’t give me a concrete yes, which means t
he contest isn’t over. For now, Dyl is safe, which is the only thing that matters. Still, the queasy feeling lingers, and I know if I don’t sit down soon I’ll throw up. I almost killed Dyl. How could I do that? What’s wrong with me? I scan the crowd. Yes! There! Across the deck is a spare seat. I take a step toward it.
The lights snap off and a piano starts to play. Everyone goes totally still. A spotlight illuminates, revealing Dyl. He’s standing at the end of the deck in an all-white suit. A single red rose is in his hand. He steps forward to stand in the center of the light.
Oh no.
“Juliet,” says Dyl. He’s wearing a microphone, so his deep voice booms around the entire room. “Where are you?”
Juliet places her cup down on the table and walks out onto the deck. Everyone has stopped what they were doing to watch them.
“Dyl, what are you doing?”
He steps forward to stand right in front of her. The spotlight moves, illuminating them both. It looks like the two of them are the only people on the deck.
“There are some things I want to say to you, Juliet, but it’s hard, because you’re wearing that glossy stuff on your lips you wear sometimes depending on how fancy you want to be. I’m just a guy standing before you, and you’re so beautiful I never get tired of looking at you.” He licks his lips and smiles. “I’d steal a blue French horn for you if you wanted one, because I don’t know how to quit you. If I was marrying someone else I’d say your name at the altar. Our story is epic, Juliet. And I know that every single possible way to say I love you has already been said, which is why I didn’t try to be original. But I love you, Juliet. And I hope you love me too.”
He extends the rose.
The crowd leans forward.
“I—I—” stammers Juliet. “I’m sorry, Dyl, I really am. But—” Her eyebrows furrow. Dyl’s mouth drops open and his eyes fill with tears. He knows it’s done. He knows he’s done. “This whole thing, it’s not for me. It was all for you! And I don’t want to be a bit player in the spectacle of your life. I’m my own person, Dyl. And on top of all that, I’m sorry, but I love someone else, and I want to be with him. I don’t want to be with you. Not now, not ever.”
The Love Interest Page 22