“Darcy?” Rafe’s voice cut into her rambling thoughts and she actually jumped, nearly falling from her chair. “Are you all right?” he asked, concerned. “You look a little pale. Do you need anything?”
“Why would you ask that?” she asked, her eyes wide. Did he know? He was a doctor; maybe he could see some kind of universal, biological, neon signs that she’d completely missed. “I’m fine. Really. Fine. Perfectly so. And definitely not queasy or light-headed.”
He stared at her oddly, no doubt wondering if she’d fallen and bumped her head.
Darcy stood and shouldered her purse. “I’m going out for some lunch. Should I pick you up something?”
“Whatever would be fine,” he said, not convinced. “Are you sure—”
“Positive.” Oh! She reddened and moved away from him, darting for the door. “I’ll be back. Bye!”
If there were an award for acting conspicuous, she would’ve been a nominee if not the winner. But her head was a tangled mess. She couldn’t be pregnant. She wasn’t ready. Rafe certainly didn’t need this sort of added complication in his life. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
And it wasn’t fair to Devin, either. The poor kid hadn’t even met his father yet and he might be getting a sibling. She groaned. Hells bells, how’d this happen?
She stepped off the curb, intent to duck into the coffee shop for a Danish or something else sweet, when the air was knocked from her lungs as she fell to the ground, skinning her palms. She’d definitely been shoved, she thought in shock, turning to see who had been so rude, when a nondescript car barreled past her, missing her by inches. The car sped off down Main Street and disappeared without stopping to see if she was all right.
She sucked in a gasping breath, realizing that being short of breath was a small price to pay for being alive. That car could’ve killed her. Cold fear washed over her even as she tried to appear unaffected by the brush of death disguised as an ugly sedan.
“Are you okay?” She heard Rafe’s voice, realizing it was him who’d knocked her out of harm’s way. She turned and found Rafe staring at her, fear in his expression. She managed a nod but winced as she struggled to sit up. A crowd had begun to gather and her cheeks burned uncomfortably.
“Is she all right, Dr. Black?”
“Did you see how fast that car was traveling?”
“Did anyone catch the license plate? I’ve never seen that car in town before.”
“Must be an out-of-towner…”
The questions and comments coming at her were nearly overwhelming and she clung to Rafe. “Just get me out of here,” she murmured and Rafe understood.
“Let’s give her some room, people,” he instructed firmly, and a path cleared for them. Rafe thanked everyone for their concern and led Darcy to a private spot in the park across from the library.
“How’d you know?” Darcy stared, amazed. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be roadkill.”
“You were acting so strangely I followed you with the intent to catch lunch together. I could tell you were distracted, because you never even heard me calling your name. You stepped off the curb, and that car came out of nowhere. Darcy, I think it wasn’t an accident.”
Darcy’s mouth gaped slightly, though a part of her may have suspected it. As far as she’d seen thus far, no one in town drove faster than a person could walk briskly, and whoever was driving that sedan had been trying to qualify for NASCAR. Someone had tried to…kill her? Even with the evidence staring her in the face, it was hard to fully comprehend. In all of her life, she’d never been threatened. It was a sobering thought, one that created troubling questions. “No…it had to be an accident. Who would try to kill me in broad daylight?”
“Someone who didn’t have cause to worry he’d get caught,” Rafe said grimly. “Plus, if pressed, it could’ve looked like an accident.”
She shuddered and Rafe wrapped her in a tight hug. “Darcy, when I thought that car was going to hit you, everything became very clear. I’m not going to take that job. You were right. It is a devil’s bargain. I’ll find Devin a different way.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes and she wiped them away, but they came harder. Too many secrets in this damn place. Including her own. She couldn’t take it any longer. If she was going to die, it was going to be with a clear conscience.
He gently pulled her hands free from her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I…I have something to tell you,” she said, wiping her nose. “And you’re not going to like it.”
He drew back, and the apprehension in his expression caused that queasy feeling to return to her gut. “What is it?”
“I…well, I…” Just say it already. She drew a halting breath. “I’m actually Samuel Grayson’s daughter.”
Rafe stared. “What?”
She sobbed harder, nodding as if she knew this admission was a death sentence. “I just found out recently and I came here because my biological mother may have been murdered by Samuel and I thought if I came here I could find answers, but I found you instead and I never thought I’d come here and fall in love but I did and now I’m afraid that you’ll hate me because I’ve been tainted by my father’s DNA.”
It was a lot to take in. The questions started almost immediately, but for a moment, he had to digest everything. His silence provoked a more earnest explanation from Darcy, which saved him the effort of asking the questions.
“My mother, Louise, died of cancer, but before she died she dropped a bombshell on me, admitting that she wasn’t my biological mother. My mother, her name was Catherine, gave me to Louise with an ardent plea to keep me safe and away from Samuel. Louise was worried that my ignorance might hurt me in the long run and so she shared the secret she’d been carrying my entire life. I came here looking for answers, but I’ve come up nearly as empty as you’ve come up with Devin.”
“I see,” he murmured, still a bit shell-shocked.
“Do you feel differently about me?” she asked fearfully and he realized she mistook his silence for one of condemnation. He sighed and wrapped her in his arms. How could she think that he could stop loving her over something out of her control? She shuddered in relief, crying soft mewling little cries. “I thought for sure you’d hate me after I told you. McCall told me I should just tell you—”
He stilled. McCall? He pulled away. “You told McCall? But not me?”
She faltered, as if realizing she probably should’ve kept that to herself. He didn’t like to think he was a jealous person, but it didn’t sit right at all that Darcy would share his bed with him but not her secrets. “It, um, just sort of came out when I carjacked him and…” His eyes widened and she slumped in defeat. “Okay, I made some really big mistakes in judgment, but my motives were pure. I needed to know if he was a Devotee or not, and having someone on my side sounded like a really good idea.”
“I’m on your side,” he countered quietly, stung that she’d thought she couldn’t come to him with her fears. “Have I said or done something that would make you think that I wouldn’t be?”
She shook her head. “Not exactly. I’m sorry. I was being…afraid and stupid. I should’ve trusted you, Rafe. I do trust you. Does that count for something now?”
“Of course it does. I just wish you could’ve felt this way before you put yourself in danger. What if McCall had been a Devotee?”
“I’d have been screwed,” she admitted sheepishly. “But he wasn’t, so I dodged a bullet and recognized that I shouldn’t have gone that route. Trust me, I wanted to tell you, but by then I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“How about, ‘Rafe, I need to talk to you. I’m Samuel Grayson’s daughter’? That would’ve piqued my interest at the very least.”
“This isn’t funny, so don’t make jokes,” she said.
“Who’s joking? Darcy…for future reference…just come out and tell me. I don’t like surprises.”
She nodded. That seemed fair. “Okay. Well, then, along those lines,
I have something else to tell you.”
He regarded her warily. “Yes?”
Get ready for bombshell number two. “I think I might be pregnant.”
Chapter 23
The bottom dropped out of Rafe’s world at Darcy’s news. Well, the second bit of news, actually.
“Pregnant?” he repeated and she nodded. The night they’d went without a condom came rushing back and he groaned, kicking himself all over again for being so reckless. “I’m so sorry…”
She straightened, frowning. “Sorry? What do you mean, sorry?”
“It’s my fault. I should’ve insisted on a condom. I know you said that it’s difficult to get pregnant and, yes, if you look at the science, it seems the odds are stacked against human beings, but history has proven otherwise—getting pregnant is what a woman’s body is designed to do.”
She sniffed. “Well, my body wasn’t. I never thought that was in my plan. However, now I’m not so sure and I don’t want you apologizing. I’ve been thinking about it and, well, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all.”
“Darcy, you can’t stay here if you’re pregnant,” Rafe said, his voice urgent. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you and our child being in danger. It’s bad enough that I’m worried sick about Devin. I can’t do that with you.”
She framed his face. “We’re a team, Rafe. Without me, you’d be hiding in broom closets without so much as a flashlight. You’re the brains but I’m the common sense of this operation. Without each other, we’d be in a mess. We need each other.”
“I don’t know,” he said darkly. “I couldn’t protect Devin or his mother. I can’t fail with you. It would kill me.”
“You won’t.”
He loved her conviction, that she believed in him wholly. It buoyed him even when he knew he ought to send her anywhere but here. He pulled her to him and held her tight. “I love you, Darcy.”
“I know,” she said through a watery giggle. “But before we start picking out nursery colors, we should take a test first. I’m only a week late and with all the stress…you know how it goes.”
He nodded. “But I want you to know, either way, I’m here for you.”
“Good. I’d hate to think that you’d drop me like a hot potato in case it turned out I wasn’t knocked up.” She grinned and he laughed.
“No. Not that kind of guy.”
“I know that, too,” she said softly, her eyes shining. “Now let’s shake some damn trees and see if we can’t find someone who knows something about Devin. Devin deserves his family.”
“Tell me more about your biological mother,” Rafe said later that evening. She had her feet propped on his legs and he was giving her a good foot massage.
Sighing, she said, “There’s not a lot to tell. I don’t know anything aside from her name and where she’s from.”
“Tell me what you know.”
“Well, according to my adoptive mother, they met in foster care when they lived in Horn’s Gulch. She only ever knew her as Catherine and she was younger than my adoptive mom. Once Catherine gave birth, she got real scared and made Louise promise she’d take care of me and keep me away from Samuel.”
“Horn’s Gulch, that’s not too far from here,” Rafe noted. “Did you ever take a drive there?”
“No. I thought about it, but I chickened out. I didn’t know where to start and figured whatever leads had been there were likely long gone by now.”
“If she was in foster care, it’s likely there are records.”
“Yeah, but aren’t they sealed?” she asked.
“There are ways around that. I could make some calls if you like.”
“Would you? I’d appreciate that,” she said, smiling. He continued to rub her toes. She snuggled deeper into the sofa.
“How’d you feel when you found out that you were adopted?”
Darcy thought for a moment, remembering. “Sad. Not because I had a bad childhood or anything, but because I never got the chance to know Catherine. I wish I knew if we were alike or if our mannerisms were the same. I don’t even know my own medical history. Yeah, so mostly sad.”
He nodded and continued to rub. The motion soothed her, even though her heart hurt when she thought of Catherine and the loss of the only mother she’d ever known. “I miss my adoptive mother, though,” she admitted in a tight voice. “We were very close. I was an only child and we were each other’s support system. I’d always assumed it was because she’d been a single mom, but it was because she was always looking over her shoulder, afraid that Samuel would show up on her doorstep to take me away. I realize now that she shouldered a very heavy burden for me and my biological mother.”
“She must’ve loved you both very much,” he said quietly and she agreed.
“Yes. I know she did. And I miss her terribly.” Her voice broke and he stopped rubbing to reach over and gather her in his arms. He held her that way so she could quietly cry, letting the grief she’d held back for too long wash over her. After a time, she wiped her nose with a tissue he’d handed her and she said, chuckling at the irony, “My mom would’ve loved you. She’d always said I ought to start dating doctors. She had this thing about wanting to know if my dates would be good providers down the line. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I wasn’t dating those other guys as settle-down material. I was just looking for a good time.”
“Is that what you thought when you saw me?” Rafe joked.
She lifted her head, a small smile on her face. “Not at first. You seemed kind of stiff. But that all changed within seconds of talking to you. I realized you had something special. And I was not above wanting to get into your pants, I won’t lie.”
“Are you saying you seduced me?” Rafe asked in mock indignation. She straddled him and he slid into a more comfortable spot with his hands cradling her backside. “I don’t quite remember it that way.”
“No? For a doctor you have a terrible memory,” she teased and leaned into him for a deep kiss, reminding him just how easily she’d twisted him around her finger that first night.
“Ah,” he said, a little breathlessly. “It’s all coming back to me now, but how about a recap?”
“My pleasure. It went something like this....”
Rafe spent considerable time on the phone, even enlisting the help of Agent Hawk Bledsoe to track down some information on Catherine, but the foster mother who’d taken in young Catherine and Louise was long dead.
He shared the news with Darcy, wishing he’d had something more solid to lead with.
The light dimmed in her eyes, but she nodded. “I knew it was a long shot. So much time has passed. Thank you for checking, though.”
He hated seeing her so despondent. He knew how that felt. “We’ll keep trying. Any lead that comes along, we’ll chase it down. I promise.”
She took his hand and kissed his palm. “You’re a good man, Rafe Black.”
“So some say,” he murmured, wishing he’d had better news. But there was something else he needed to know from her. “Did you take the second test?” he asked, his nerves taut. The first pregnancy test had been inconclusive, which could’ve meant, yes, she was pregnant or, no, she wasn’t. They’d had to wait a few more days to take the test again.
“I did,” she admitted, her mouth trembling a little. “It was negative.”
He should’ve felt relief. But he didn’t. “How do you feel about it?” he asked, wanting her perspective first. “Are you happy?”
She shrugged in answer. “I suppose. I mean I should be.”
“But?”
“But I kind of got used to the idea and I liked it.”
He smiled. “Me, too.”
She looked up. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Darcy jumped into his arms. “You’re constantly surprising me in a good way, not a scary or irritating sort of way.” He laughed and kissed her. “So what does this mean?”
“It means I would’ve been overjoyed to hav
e a child with you and when it happens for real, I know what a blessing it will be.”
“I agree,” she said, her laughter fading. “But I want to wait. I’m not entirely ready just yet.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page. I want to focus on Devin for now. Later, we’ll have a basketball team of kids.”
“Whoa, now, let’s not go crazy. One or two sounds doable…not a team of Globetrotters,” she said, the laughter returning.
“Okay, it’s up for negotiation, but for the time being, we agree.”
“Yes.”
They snuggled and spent the rest of the evening quiet and reflective, but beneath the coziness of the moment, each was processing everything in different ways. For Rafe, knowing Darcy wasn’t pregnant relieved some pressure, but the knowledge that Devin was still missing weighed on him more heavily with each passing day.
If something didn’t happen soon, he would lose his mind and do something crazy.
He had no idea that by tomorrow morning, his life was about to change.
Ford McCall entered the station early and something caught his eye. He stopped at Chief Fargo’s office and saw a car seat on the desk. That in itself was something to make him stop in his tracks. Fargo didn’t have kids. He walked in and went straight to the seat and found a note taped to it. “Little Devin Black belongs with his father. I found him all alone when Abby vanished and thought he was all alone in the world. Then when Dr. Black came to town, I loved little Devin too much to let him go. But I must do what’s right.”
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