by Debra Holt
“Well, if this one gets stuck, at least there’s a nice view.” His sudden words surprised her.
After maintaining such a silent façade for so long on their trip back to Austin, he was making an attempt at conversation. Now, when their time together was almost at an end? Of course, he chose to refer to their first meeting.
It seemed ages ago, yet it really wasn’t. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. That was yet another reason she couldn’t trust her feelings where this man was concerned. He had blazed into her world and turned her beliefs upside down and her well-organized world reeled from his larger-than-life persona. How could she have possibly surrendered her heart to him in such a short amount of time? Had she not seen enough of what happened to her mother and her whirlwind “romances”?
Stacy didn’t reply as they came to a stop and the doors opened. She placed her key in the lock of her front door and entered; Davis followed a couple of steps behind. With one hand in the side pocket of his jeans, and the other clutching his hat in his hand, he stood in the center of the room and let his eyes take in the surroundings.
Stacy became acutely aware of what he must see. It was all very pristine and ordered and… cold. It had never seemed that way before. Yet, in comparison to where she had just spent the last couple of days, it would seem foreign to him. Why should it seem that way to her now? It was her home and she should be glad to be back to its haven. He was the jarring note in its midst.
“I’ll just get the book from my office. Please make yourself comfortable.” Stacy fairly fled the room.
She quickly found the book but lingered a moment or two. She needed to get herself under control for the goodbye that was at hand. Friendship would never work now. Trust had been shattered. And being lovers hadn’t worked so well either… not when he had wanted more than she could give. It was complicated and complications were not what she needed in her life. Stacy fixed that mantra firmly in her mind.
She went back into the room but did not immediately see him. Looking around, she spied him standing outside on the balcony. She stood still for a moment… committing to memory the last look she was likely to have of the special man. His shoulders were straight, his stance slightly apart, his face turned toward the sunset. The breeze lifted the hair at the top of his head gently. His gaze never wavered from the distant place he had fixed it upon. She knew this moment would stay with her for a long time to come. He sensed her and turned his gaze in her direction.
Stacy moved forward then to stand a little distance from his spot. Her eyes moved over the view and away from him. There was silence again.
“I better get going.”
“Yes, you said you had an appointment. Thanks for the ride home. And thanks… well, thanks for saving my life actually.” She had not spoken the words until that moment and their impact hit home with her. A soft shudder went through her body.
Just as he had sensed her fear and panic in the elevator when they met, he sensed it at that moment. And just as then, he moved to calm her.
His gaze softened a fraction and his voice became steady. “You’re safe and sound Stacy. You and Lizzie came through it all just fine. You’re back where you belong and maybe one day all this will just be a chapter in one of your books.”
The look he gave her was a mixture of many things, but mostly it was the shade of sadness that touched her heart. Her throat constricted and tears might not be too far behind. “True, I do have some good ideas for a future book. And I’ll have to dedicate it to you with my heartfelt thanks for all your… help.” She had almost said the word “research” and that would have been a big mistake.
He knew what she had omitted. His mouth tightened into a firm set. His hand raised and he pulled his hat down on his head.
“I’ll see that Darcy gets the book.” He waited.
“Oh, yes, sorry about that.” His words jarred her memory and she handed him the book.
He took it from her but didn’t turn away.
“I hope she enjoys it. I really liked meeting her and everyone else in your town. They’re good people and I won’t forget them.”
“We won’t forget you either.” He did turn away at that point.
Stacy followed slowly behind him. Her mind raced for something else to say but what was there? She didn’t want him to leave, but she couldn’t ask him to stay.
Davis reached the door, opened it… and then stopped.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she kept her hands tightly clutched in front of her.
Davis turned back to her. With a half-smile on his face and a semblance of a spark deep in those blue eyes, his words fell softly in the space between them. “If you find yourself in need of a cowboy one day for one of your books… you know where you can find me.” Then he was gone.
Chapter Thirteen
“You’ve been locked away now for almost four weeks, Stacy. When am I going to have that manuscript in my hands?” Her agent’s question was a good one. And she had asked it at least every other day since Stacy had returned home.
Stacy had replied the same thing each time… soon. Except for today, her answer was different. “It is on its way the moment I press the send button on the computer. You should have it in your office in less than five minutes. Happy?”
“Hallelujah! I was beginning to wonder if it really existed. When you came back from your adventure, and said you were scrapping your original story idea, I admit I was in shock. Especially since the deadline was so close at hand. I’ll call you when I finish and we can discuss it.”
“That’s fine. I just want to take a long nap right now. I’m drained. Talk to you later.” Stacy clicked off the call. Leaning back in her lounge chair, her eyes watched the sun as it rested just above the horizon. Another sunset flashed into her mind. It had become a common occurrence since her return from McKenna Springs. It was something that happened naturally and she couldn’t stop it if she wanted to. And she had certainly tried, until she finally gave up.
Since she had experienced the sunset with Davis McKenna that last evening there on her balcony before they parted, she had often found her thoughts going back to that moment each time the sun set for the day. She closed her eyes and brought back the memory of him standing almost in the exact spot. She had memorized it and it was still as fresh in her mind. How long would he be associated in her mind… and heart… with this place and time of day?
Stacy had neither seen nor spoken to him since that day. She hadn’t expected to. He had issued an invitation and she had declined. Almost a month had gone by since that time. He had no doubt moved on with his life… just as she had with hers. If one could call shutting one’s self away from everyone else and staying alone in her “ivory tower” with her writing moving on with life.
The characters on the pages of her books were far easier to control with their conflicts than the humans in her own life. It was safer all the way around to stay in the world of make believe. When she had dared to venture out, she had found the love of her life… against all her best intentions to not fall for a cowboy, she had done just that… and she found he could no more be trusted than those men in her past experiences growing up. Except, her heart kept warring with her brain on that point. Davis had tried to explain to her he had nothing to do with that file. Yet, he had it in his possession. Why hadn’t he just shown it to her at the very beginning? She pushed all those nagging thoughts away… again. It did no good to keep going over them.
Stacy doubted life would have changed all that much for the inhabitants of McKenna Springs during the past weeks. It was a safe bet that Darcy would still be making delicious meals at the diner. Lizzie was probably planning her next tea party guest list. Ned and Murph still played their game of checkers on the square.
She wondered if any of them ever gave a thought to her? She wished she had been able to forget them, but they had made an indelible mark on her life in a very short time. And, soon, they would make their mark on the pages in her new nov
el. She doubted they would ever know it. Except for Darcy, maybe… she would probably recognize them.
The phone rang beside her. She looked at the caller ID. Donnie. She had to take his call. She had put him off for almost the entire time since she had been back. True to form, he had persisted, leaving her phone message after phone message. Then he had resorted to sending bouquets of flowers.
“Hello, Donnie,” she spoke, trying to infuse a spark into her voice.
There was a moment or two of silence.
“I don’t believe it. It’s you and not your voice mail. Thank the stars above!”
“I’ve just completed my manuscript. I’ve been in the zone up until now. What’s new in the world?”
“You and your zone… nothing can come between the two of you.”
His words used to be true. However, there was one person who kept coming between her and her zone… one memory. It was a blue-eyed cowboy, standing on her balcony at sunset. Of course, none of that would she share with Donnie… along with certain other information.
“Well, you have me on the phone now.”
“Yes, I do. And I need your answer.”
Her mind was a blank. “My answer?”
“Have you looked at your calendar? Stacy, the Governor’s Ball is tomorrow night. It’s a major charity event and you promised my mother you’d be there. I’ve left several messages about the fact that I’ll be there to pick you up for cocktails with the family at seven. Then we’ll head over to the mansion. Sound like a plan? You can’t stand me up. You gave your word.”
She shut her eyes for a few moments. She didn’t really feel like being in a room filled with all those people… most of which she didn’t know and the rest, she could do without knowing. The thought suddenly struck her with amazing clarity. Was she becoming a recluse? Or just more selective in how she spent her time and with whom?
“Earth to Stacy! Please tell me you haven’t relapsed into the zone again have you? We’ve got to get you back to the land of the living and as soon as possible. I can’t wait to see you, sweetheart. I know you’ll look ravishing for me. Remember… I’ll be downstairs at seven sharp.”
“Seven.” The line clicked dead. She reluctantly pushed herself from her chair. If she was going to have to look ‘ravishing’ tomorrow, she needed to get a move on. Besides, there was another reason to be in Donnie’s company… she needed information.
*
Stacy was just putting the finishing touches on her makeup when her phone rang the next evening. It was Trish.
“Oh, my heavens, I can’t believe this! I was in absolute shock when I read your manuscript.” As per usual, Trish dispensed with formalities and dived right into what she wanted to say.
“Hello, to you, too. Is it that bad?”
“You broke your vow.”
“My vow?”
“Your vow to never write about a cowboy. And, my lord, you certainly wrote about a heck of a cowboy! I was in lust from page one. Your readers are going to go crazy over this one. It’ll hit the best-seller list in nothing flat, and I can’t imagine who could possibly play the part on film… he’s just too much of a dream. We would need a combination of George, Brad, Clint, and the Duke all rolled into one. Is there such a man alive?”
“I agree that it would be hard to cast that part.” As Stacy spoke the words, in her mind came the vision of the only person who could indeed play that role… and he wasn’t an actor.
“This is incredible, Stacy. Your publisher adores you right now and all those lovely greenbacks you’ll bring him in a couple of months. You hit it out of the ballpark.”
Stacy dropped her lip gloss onto the dressing table. “Couple of months? What do you mean? You meant to say several months… if not longer.”
“Hon, he has put your book on the very front burner. They want it to cycle out the beginning of summer, to catch all those women on all those beaches needing a good read. So, be prepared and pack that suitcase. You’ve got appearances the moment it hits the shelves.”
Stacy saw the time on the clock next to her vanity. “We’ll have to talk about all that later. Right now, I’m running late. Glad I could make you and the publisher happy.”
Stacy hadn’t counted on the book being out so quickly. But what did it matter? It was out of her hands. She had to concentrate on the evening ahead.
*
“Do you have any idea how stunning you are?” Donnie was his usual charming and perfectly polished self in his Armani tuxedo.
He had showered her with compliments almost nonstop since picking her up at her condo. At the moment, for the first time since arriving at the cocktail party, they found themselves alone on the patio of his parents’ home overlooking the Colorado River. Stacy was relieved to have some time to take in the scenery.
It was a lovely, late spring evening, with lights twinkling on here and there along the opposite shoreline in the growing dusk. Being outside in the tranquility of the evening was far more preferable than being inside the house with the other thirty-plus guests… most of who were really political advisors and campaign strategists of the senator’s.
“Careful, Donnie, you’ll turn a girl’s head with so many nice words,” Stacy replied with a smile, moving to sit on the edge of one of the granite benches along the edge of the patio, her skirts splaying out around her. She took a casual sip from the glass of wine Donnie brought to her a few moments before. Part of her would have liked to sit in the quiet solitude a while longer without company, but that would only allow certain thoughts to join her… thoughts of a tall man and another dusky evening on a porch. The differences in the men and settings though were monumental and not lost on her.
“Careful is not the word for this evening, my dear. It’s time to forge ahead and make the most of the time we finally have this evening. Who knows when I’ll coax you from your tower again? I intend to make the most of our time together.” Donnie reached for her hand and with a slight hesitation, she placed hers inside his, allowing herself to be drawn to stand beside him once more. With sure fingers, he took her glass from her and sat it on the balustrade alongside his own. She didn’t protest.
Nor did she protest when he slid his arms possessively around her waist. And there was still no protest when he claimed her lips in a kiss that was just as practiced and polished as the rest of his moves. And just as meaningless to her.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to kiss her. She did. She told herself that was what she wanted. To have his arms around her, to feel herself overcome with passion at his embrace, to want to open to his kisses. But the reality of it all was that it all meant nothing to her… nothing stirred in her chest, no nerves tingled, no pulses raced. She felt nothing and the realization that she never would, could no longer be ignored.
“You make me lose my head,” Donnie murmured against her cheek, his breath warm and his voice husky with emotions he had obviously felt from the kiss.
Stacy squeezed her eyes shut, as she allowed her cheek to rest against his chest. Why wasn’t her heart racing? There was absolutely nothing of any romance between her and the man. She had tried to fool herself that it would come. But if there had been any chance for Donnie… or any other man… it had been tainted by a certain cowboy’s touch. A small stab of fear in her chest at that moment.
What if she never felt that again with any man’s touch? What if she had let her only chance for true love and happiness slip away? What had she done? She found she had asked herself that question many times… too many times… over the past few weeks since her return to her life. There was a dull ache in the center of her chest that never seemed to go away, no matter what she did.
“I was going to wait but we felt that the time would be right for this tonight.” His words slowly soaked through the veil of guilt she felt. “Look at me, gorgeous. I want to get this right.”
Stacy did as he asked of her but with a definite question in her mind. What did he mean by “we felt” the time was right?
Right for what? And who was the “we”?
“You know how I feel about you, Stacy. I must love you or why else would I endure your long bouts of writing and not being with me? It’s because we’re perfect for each other. You have charm and beauty and intelligence. You’re respected in the community. I know we’ll have the best possible life together. You’ll make a perfect wife for a future senator… and who knows where else we just might end up? The sky is the limit for us.”
The positive thing about still having his arms about her was the fact that when her knees threatened to weaken on her, she could grab hold easily enough for support. And, now, she was speechless. Had there been a proposal in there someplace? Her eyes mirrored her confusion.
“You’re a writer for heaven’s sake, darling, so don’t forget how to speak words now.” Donnie smiled with confidence in his tone. “If you want me to actually get down on bended knee in this tux on this dusty patio, I shall do so.” He hesitated for a moment.
That was the moment she needed. “No! Please don’t get your tux dirty.” Had she fairly shouted that?
Not exactly what she envisioned saying to a man who had just proposed to her, but then it hadn’t been a normal sort of proposal. It sounded to her ears as if he was offering a business merger of some type. Perfect for each other… perfect for the duties of a wife of a senator.
She suddenly saw his vision of the life ahead he proposed… perfect houses, perfect parties, perfect political connections… and perfect children to be trotted out for the perfect photo opportunities. It made her ill to her stomach and she finally did find her way down to the bench again.
“Are you alright, Stacy? You look pale. Did I overwhelm you? Maybe this will make you feel better.” Donnie sank down beside her on the bench, his fingers withdrawing a black velvet box from his pocket. He snapped the lid open with a flourish. The size of the ring was rather breathtaking… a square cut ruby surrounded by diamonds.