The Year of Living Shamelessly

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The Year of Living Shamelessly Page 17

by Susanna Carr


  Ryder prayed that Katie wouldn’t call out to him. He had to warn her somehow. “You know what, Jake?” he said loudly, despite the fact that Jake was standing at his elbow. “Let’s postpone the packing.”

  “I’m right here, dude. You don’t need to yell over the music,” Jake said as he took a step forward. “And I’m here to help you pack, so let’s do it.”

  Ryder blocked the door as his brain threatened to shut down in something close to panic. If Jake found his little sister here, in his bed—not to mention tied up with a bright red bow—all hell was going to break loose.

  And Ryder was not going to let that happen. And not because he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Jake. Nothing so noble. He wanted Jake out of here so he could enjoy every delicious second Katie was about to offer him. He was going to go to Hell for it, but at this moment, he didn’t care.

  “I’m hungry and there’s nothing here,” Ryder improvised. “We can go to the café and grab something.”

  “No way,” Jake said. “You have to stop procrastinating. You aren’t going to finish in time if you keep going to parties and pulling Katie out of trouble.”

  Ryder glanced at the door, wondering what Katie thought about that. He hoped that she had at least heard Jake’s voice and was smart enough to keep her mouth shut.

  Jake made a move for the door and Ryder threw his arms out, preventing Jake from reaching the handle. He knew he was acting suspiciously, but if he had to, he would wrestle his friend to the ground to keep him from opening that door.

  “I . . . forgot to tell you,” Ryder said, his words coming out in one big rush. “Sasha came by earlier. She’s looking for you. And she said she’ll swing by later.”

  Jake’s groan was so loud that Katie had to know he was here. “Can’t that woman take a hint? She’s suffocating me. Okay, this is what we’ll do. I’ll hide in your bedroom when she drops by.”

  “No!” Ryder exclaimed, pressing his back against the door. His eyes widened when he heard a frantic rustling sound coming from the bedroom. He immediately conjured up the image of Katie writhing on the bed, struggling against the bindings.

  Oh, God. He couldn’t think about that right now. He was not going to imagine Katie swaying from side to side, rocking the bed. He wasn’t going to think about climbing onto the bed and holding Katie still as he covered her body with his.

  “No, that won’t work,” he insisted hoarsely. “She’ll see your truck parked out front.”

  “You’re right,” Jake admitted with frustration. “That woman drives me crazy.” He turned and walked toward the front door.

  Ryder followed Jake, barely listening to his elaborate plan to outwit Sasha. Ryder hoped that Jake wouldn’t find out that Sasha wasn’t looking for him at all.

  The moment Jake was out the door, Ryder closed the door quickly and locked it. His heart was pounding harder than the music as he ran back to the bedroom.

  Katie heard footsteps coming closer and she froze. They were swiftly eating ground and she had no chance to take cover as the door swung open. She sighed with relief when she saw Ryder alone at the threshold, hands on hips, and a look of utter incredulity on his face.

  “Oh, thank God,” she said with great feeling. “For a second, I thought you were Jake.”

  Ryder took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead as if he was getting a migraine. “He just left. What are you doing here?”

  She blew her hair from her eyes. “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Oh, I’m surprised.”

  He didn’t say anything else. He remained standing on the other side of the room, staring at her.

  She hadn’t expected that. She imagined that after one glimpse of her chained to his bed, Ryder would tear off his clothes and launch himself at her like a heat-seeking missile. He didn’t seem too eager to join her in bed, and she wondered what she had done wrong last night. She did her best not to show her disappointment, confusion and hurt.

  “I thought we could pick up where we left off last night,” she said with a bright smile.

  Ryder was already shaking his head. “Last night was a mistake.”

  Katie rolled her eyes. “I knew you were going to say that.” He had probably prepared a speech and practiced it all morning.

  Ryder thrust a tense hand into his hair and looked away. “I was too—”

  “Ryder, if I had a problem with last night,” she said firmly, determined to block any excuses, “I wouldn’t have encouraged it and screamed for more. I would have stopped you.”

  “You don’t understand,” he said as he approached the bed. “Last night I don’t think you could have stopped me. That’s why I had to stop myself. I couldn’t sleep next to you without going crazy.”

  Katie smiled wide. This was music to her ears. Ryder desired her so much that he had lost control. “That’s great!”

  “No, it isn’t.” He sat on the end corner of the bed. “I’ve managed to resist you all this time and it’s become harder. I’m days away from removing myself from temptation”—he gestured at the moving boxes—“and I did the one thing I swore I wouldn’t do.”

  Katie stared at Ryder as the words played over in her mind. “You are leaving because of me.” Wow, her mother was right. Two times in a row. This was freaky, and possibly unprecedented.

  “And I’m not going to make the mistake again,” he vowed.

  She hated to hear him say that their night together was a mistake. What they did, what they shared, was beautiful. There had to be something she was missing. Katie gathered her courage and asked the one thing she really wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the honest answer to. “Why are you staying away from me?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” He clasped his hand on her ankle, as if he couldn’t resist touching her, that he needed the contact. “Look at how I took you last night.”

  That was why he was keeping his distance? Because he hadn’t claimed her in a missionary position? He must think she was a fragile woman with a delicate disposition. Hadn’t she done everything she could to correct that assumption? “I liked it.”

  “You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.” He looked down and patted her ankle. “You deserve a guy who can treat you like a lady. Someone who is tender and romantic.”

  Katie made a face. “Where did you get that idea? I’ve known guys like that and they bore me,” she confessed. “I know what kind of man I want and it’s you.”

  Her claim didn’t please Ryder. “You’re saying that because you don’t know any better.” He absently stroked her ankle, sending waves of pleasure up her leg.

  “I’m not looking for someone who tries to charm me into bed, or who wines and dines me hoping to sixty-nine me,” she said bluntly. She needed to get through this man’s stubbornness and time was running out.

  The look he gave her indicated he didn’t believe a word she said. “You are telling me that you don’t want the roses and champagne route?”

  “The guys who offer me that always turn out to be shallow and they run at the first sign of trouble. I want a guy who will make the same sacrifices that I would to protect what we have together. A man who wants and needs me as much as I want and need him. I want someone who understands me, who has been with me through the ups and downs. And I want to offer the same for that guy. You are that guy. We are perfect for each other.”

  Ryder wasn’t convinced. “So last night was your romantic fantasy?”

  She paused. Okay, that question might trip her up. Last night hadn’t been her romantic fantasy. Katie had dreamed that their first time would include flowers, champagne and words of love. Last night she had been surprised, but only in the beginning. “Last night was exactly what I needed and wanted.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I have a lot of fantasies,” she admitted. “Some of them are romantic and some of them are dirty. All of them include you.”

  His gaze collided with hers for a moment before he dragged his att
ention away. “Is being tied to my bed one of your fantasies?” he asked as he continued to rub his callused hand around her ankle.

  “Actually, I thought this would be one of yours.” Although she did enjoy the feel of his hand holding down her ankle like a cuff.

  Ryder pulled his hand away from her. “Katie, you shouldn’t be here.”

  She wanted to kick him. Scream. When was he going to get it through his head that he didn’t need to protect her from himself? “I can’t think of anywhere else I want to be,” she said honestly.

  “Obviously. I can’t believe you tied yourself to my bed.” A thought suddenly occurred to him. He looked at the window and then at the bedroom door. “How did you get in here?”

  She gave a nervous chuckle. If Ryder found out, he would go crazy, and she would rather spend her time driving him insane in bed. “You don’t want to know,” she said in a confidential whisper and gave a small shake to her head.

  “You should leave,” he said as he got up from the bed.

  “I want to be here with you,” she insisted.

  “You don’t know what you’re in for.” He thrust his hand into his hair again. “I’m not the knight in shining armor that you think I am. I’m not chivalrous or thoughtful. I’m not even sweet or kind.”

  “Believe it or not, neither am I.”

  He laughed softly at that.

  “What?” She demanded an answer. “It’s true.”

  Ryder leaned down, his face over hers. His eyes darkened as he studied her face. “You are so sweet I can taste it.” To her surprise, he kissed her lips tenderly.

  She poured everything she felt into that kiss. Katie knew that she was opening herself up for a cutting rejection. Tied to his bed and confessing how much she needed him laid everything out in the open.

  The only thing she couldn’t do was tell him how much she loved him. Because if he rejected her now, she wasn’t sure what she would do. She couldn’t handle the possibility that he might completely crush her dreams.

  Ryder pulled away and she tried to follow, but the damn cuffs halted her. He stroked her cheek before allowing his hand to trail down her neck. His eyes narrowed as his fingertips brushed along the love bite.

  “It doesn’t hurt,” she reminded him.

  He didn’t listen. He pressed his mouth against the love bite and gave it a kiss. She liked the gentleness, but it worried her. Did he think she couldn’t take all of him, the roughness and the tenderness? The frustration as well as the patience? She wanted the whole man, the good along with the bad. And Katie wanted Ryder to accept the same traits in her.

  Katie didn’t want Ryder to be all sweet and soft with her. Not now, and not when he thought she couldn’t handle anything else. Katie was desperate for his mouth, but she couldn’t reach him. Exasperated, she jerked at her cuffs and heard a small tear of Velcro.

  He froze at the sound. Ryder looked up at her and then at the handcuffs. “Do you want me to free you?”

  She wondered if there was a deeper meaning to that question, but she couldn’t figure it out. She had to answer the question carefully. “I want to be tied down only if you’re going to take advantage of it.”

  There was a wicked glint in his eyes before he cupped her face with his hands. His kiss was slow but relentless. By the time he lowered his hands to caress her throat and chest, she was out of breath.

  Katie squirmed and she sighed as Ryder straddled her hips and possessively grabbed her breasts. She arched, thrusting to offer him more. The sequins and seed pearls pressed into her flesh, but she didn’t complain. If anything, the pressure added to her excitement.

  “You shouldn’t have worn this nightgown,” he told her.

  She pouted. Yes, it looked too bridal, but it wasn’t slutty or overly suggestive. It made her feel beautiful, especially the way Ryder was looking at her. “You don’t like it?”

  “It’s very pretty,” he said as he slid between her legs, “but it’s going to get ruined around a rough guy like me.”

  She smiled. “I think the designer would be offended if you didn’t tear it off my body.”

  He glanced at the red handcuffs anchored on his headboard. “Are you sure you want to be cuffed?”

  “They’re Velcro,” she revealed to him. “I’m fine. Why do you keep asking?”

  “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he admitted in a low, raspy voice as he removed his hands from her heavy, swollen breasts. “And I don’t want to scare you.”

  She bit her lip, catching the “awww” that was sure to displease him. “You couldn’t.”

  He didn’t reply to that. Instead he bent down while bunching her nightie up to her hips. Her breath caught in her throat as Ryder laid kisses against her inner thighs. She offered no resistance when he parted her legs wider. He left a trail of kisses along her legs, getting closer and closer to her wet slit.

  Katie could barely breathe, her sexual hunger pressing down on her. Her heart began to pound as Ryder hooked her knees over his shoulders. He immediately claimed her sex with his hot mouth. His boldness shocked her.

  Katie’s hips lifted off the mattress as he circled his tongue and flicked it against her swollen clit. She rocked her hips up and down as he teased her unmercifully. She wanted to grab him by the hair and bury his face deep between her thighs. She needed to guide him and have him thrust his tongue deep inside her until she climaxed. But she couldn’t do any of that with her wrists still bound above her head.

  Ryder pushed her nightie to her stomach and she wished he would just rip it off. He slid his hands under the satiny fabric to play with her breasts. She twisted and arched her spine as he stroked her. Each time he pinched her nipple she felt the jagged pinch in her clit. She rolled her hips to alleviate the building sweet pressure, but there was no escape.

  Ryder hummed with pleasure as he lapped her sex. She couldn’t help but blush at his pure satisfaction. Katie had never had a lover who enjoyed sex with all of his senses. She instinctively knew he wasn’t doing this just for her pleasure; he was enjoying it as much as she was.

  When Ryder sucked on her clit, it was an abrupt change from the gentle lapping. Katie’s eyes rolled back and her moan echoed in the bedroom. Goose bumps blanketed her skin as her breaths came out in shallow pants.

  “You like that?” Ryder teased her, his voice vibrating against her flesh.

  “Yes,” she answered in a faint whisper. She licked her lips as she tried to catch her breath. Ryder went down on her again, suckling her clit with such force that the pleasure lingered on the edge of torment. Ryder showed no leniency, until she thrashed from side to side.

  Sweat gathered on her skin and her nightie clung damply against her curves. Heat spread from her core down her legs and up her chest before radiating out.

  Ryder stopped sucking her clit and licked her moist entrance. Katie closed her eyes as her head spun from the rich, vibrant sensations. She rocked her hips, trying to get closer as Ryder teased her with the tip of his tongue.

  “Please, Ryder,” she said, but she wasn’t sure why she said it. “I need . . . I—”

  He thrust his tongue into her core. Buried it deep. Oh, yeah. That was exactly what she needed. Katie started to shake, the sensations so intense, she couldn’t contain them.

  Ryder slid his hand from her breasts and trailed them down her quivering stomach. She flinched when he boldly placed his thumb against her clit. He tapped the swollen bud as he pumped his tongue in and out of her sex.

  She felt the barriers inside her falling down like dominoes. Any control she thought she had was long gone. She was defenseless and at his mercy. Katie could ask him to release the bindings, but she didn’t want to. The sense of being out of control was scary, but it offered a sense of freedom. She wanted him to take her, grab her, claim her any way he could.

  Ryder pulled his mouth away from her wet core. She felt the loss sharply. Katie frowned, and murmured her protest as she wondered what he would do next. She had been so close to
coming, her arms and legs shaking as the power inside her grew.

  Ryder removed his hand from her clit and started to rub her slit. She wiggled against his hand, wanting more than that. She really hoped he wasn’t planning to start over again from the beginning. She couldn’t take it. She needed all of him right now.

  He tapped her clit with his tongue. The little flicks of his tongue were fast and furious. She felt the waves of pleasure lapping at her, but it wasn’t enough. She needed him inside her. She needed his cock so much she was willing to submit and follow every ridiculous instruction he gave. She was so far gone, she would call him Master if it meant deep, thrusting penetration.

  As Ryder lashed his tongue against her clit and pumped his finger in her sex, he cupped his other hand under her ass and slid another finger along the cleft of her buttocks. He tapped his finger against her rosebud. The onslaught was too much. She twisted and rocked her hips, but she couldn’t escape.

 

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