by Mary May
“We have to be prepared at all times. Just because we haven’t had an attack in a long while doesn’t mean one can’t happen tomorrow, next week or in the next thirty seconds.”
“Dude, if it happens in the next thirty seconds, we are in serious trouble! I can barely move, much less fight, bro.” Gideon frowned at Skye’s sudden change in dialect, but Charlotte just giggled.
“So… the twins are into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, huh, Skye?” Skye reached over and high fived Charlotte.
“Cowabunga, dudette!”
Zareck groaned. “I never thought I would actually regret not being able to die.”
“Gideon, we really have been training a bit excessively. I am all for being prepared, but you have been taking it to extremes, I think. Care to tell us why?” Raphael asked.
“I thought I just did. We never know when…”
“Oh, why don’t I just tell them? He is staying busy to keep his mind off of the dead human.” Everyone looked at Zareck in disbelief.
“Umm… dude, that was vile even for you. Show some respect already,” Skye chastised. The other angels all looked to Gideon to see what he would do, but he just shrugged.
“Don’t throw pearls before swine. Let’s go.” He gestured for everyone to follow except Zareck, who just glared as they all left him standing alone.
Charlie brushed Stormy’s coat with long even strokes. He was starting to shed his winter coat, so every so often she would stop and clean the layers of thick coarse hair from the currycomb. Seth was in the barn with her making repairs on some pieces of tack that had been neglected through the winter months. She would see Seth look at her, and she knew he was wondering why she and Nate didn’t hang out any more. Finally she looked Seth in the eye and asked him if there was something bothering him.
“Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that you and Nate don’t spend much time together any more. I was just wondering what happened was all. Did he do something?”
Charlie tossed the currycomb on a bale of hay and reached for a mane and tail comb. She started the long process of separating the snarls in Stormy’s long mane.
“No, he didn’t really do anything wrong, Seth. We just grew apart, I guess. I suppose the four-year age difference finally kicked in. We have different interests now.” She didn’t elaborate that it was Nate that developed the different interest and that her name was Emily Ross. Seth studied her real hard for a minute. She got the feeling that he almost heard her thoughts, but then he bent back over the bridle he was working on.
“I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if old Nate didn’t lose his new interest and came back to his first interest. Sometimes we have to walk away from something to fully appreciate it.” Charlie stopped working on Stormy’s mane and stared at Seth. If he had a point he was trying to make, it just flew right over her head!
“Huh?”
Seth laughed at her puzzled expression and shook his head. “Charlie, let me give you a bit of advice when it comes to understanding the way the male mind works. There isn’t any understanding it. Half the time we can’t even tell you why we do the things we do, but give us enough time and we will sort ourselves out.”
“That’s it? That’s the great advice? Just give it time?” Charlie asked in disbelief.
“Yep, never said it was great advice, but that’s it.”
Charlie rolled her eyes and led Stormy out of the barn. She frankly didn’t care if Nate Jackson sorted himself out or not. If Emily Ross was what he wanted, then that was just fine with her. She turned the horse loose out in the field and went in to talk to her mama about a party that she had been invited to the upcoming weekend.
“But, Mama! Everyone will be there! I’m almost thirteen. Please… please let me go!” Charlie pleaded with Sabrina to let her attend the party, but Sabrina regarded her with firm eyes.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea, honey. It sounds like a lot of older kids will be at this party and that usually leads to trouble. Why don’t you invite some girls over here and have your party?” she suggested.
“Mama, you never let me go anywhere! I always have to bring people over here! I won’t get into trouble. I promise! Please just say yes!” Tears pooled in Charlie’s blue eyes.
Getting up from the kitchen table where she was working on some bills, Sabrina took her hand and pulled her to the kitchen window. “Baby, look out there and tell me -- what do you see?” Charlie looked outside the window and then shook her head.
“What, Mama? I don’t see anything.” She mumbled.
“Look again. What do you see?”
Sighing dramatically, Charlie looked again. “I don’t know. Stormy and the other horses; is that what you’re talking about?”
Sabrina nodded. “Yes, now tell me what is Stormy standing in?”
“He is standing in the field.”
“And the field is surrounded by what?”
“Fences. Mama, what does this have to do with the party?”
Charlie asked.
“Why? Why do we put fences around the field?” Sabrina insisted, looking at her until she finally answered.
“To keep them in, of course.”
“Why do we want to keep them in the fences, Charlie? Don’t you think that Stormy would prefer to be free? To be able to roam and run wherever he wanted? Wouldn’t that be easier for us? So why do we go to all the trouble of building fences and making sure they are in good repair and go and check them after every storm; why do we do all of that?”
“Because we care about them and if we didn’t keep them in they would go out on the highway or something and get hurt,” Charlie answered.
“That’s right, sweetheart, but tell me do you think Stormy understands that or do you think all he sees is fences? Restrictions? Someone telling him no, he can’t go there? Baby, I tell you no for the same reason that you put Stormy behind a fence, to keep you safe. I know you don’t understand all my reasons now, that like Stormy all you see is the fence. But I do it because I love you and I want to keep you safe. It’s a lot of work to keep you in my fence, and it would be a lot easier to just let you go, but then I wouldn’t be a very good mama.”
Sabrina paused and waited to see if her little analogy worked. She knew it had to be God-given because she had never thought of it before and it was the perfect example to use with her daughter. Sabrina felt strongly that this party wasn’t a good idea for Charlie. After making the mistake of ignoring that still small voice inside her heart a few times, she was learning to listen to it when it came to raising her daughter. God would guide her when she let him! She knew it worked when
Charlie’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Ok, mama. I guess I understand. But it still stinks sometimes.”
Sabrina hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head that was nearly at chin level to her now. “I know it does, baby. I know.” Sabrina watched as Charlie went up to her room with dragging feet and a hanging head.
The following Monday Sabrina heard the school bus stop and let Charlie off. She had her favorite cookies, peanut butter chocolate chip, and a glass of milk ready for her. She was worried that Charlie might have had a bad day at school if all of her friends talked about the party that Charlie missed. Sabrina hoped she made the right call on this one. Sometimes she resented Devon being gone so much. She really could have used his advice and support on this. He was only a phone call away and he always took her calls anytime she called, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t admit to resenting his job.
At first he was only gone occasionally, but soon it became more and more frequent until he was gone all the time. Even speaking to her mother about it didn’t help, though Catherine had some great advice. The one thing Catherine did urge her to do, of course, was pray about it. Sabrina knew that was the first thing she should do over whatever was troubling her. For some reason this was something she hadn’t taken to her heavenly Father yet. Hearing the front door slam she shoved the thoughts to the
back of her mind to talk with Him about later.
“Mom!” Charlie called out for her as soon as she opened the door.
She came running into the kitchen, her cheeks bright with excitement. Sabrina could tell she was about to burst with something to tell her.
“Hey, how was school, honey?” Charlie stopped in the middle of the kitchen and stared at her mother.
“You will not believe what happened at the party Saturday night! I still can’t believe it and I have been hearing about it all day! I’m sooo glad I didn’t go, Mama! You were right! How did you know?” Sabrina raised her hands to slow her daughter down so she could make some sense out of what she was saying.
“Charlie, what happened? You have to slow down and tell me everything.”
“Oh, my gosh! You won’t believe it! A bunch of older kids did show up and some of them had drugs! The cops found out about it and the party was busted! A bunch of kids got into a lot of trouble!” Charlie’s face turned serious.
“Emily Ross was one of the kids who was caught with drugs, Mama.” Sabrina was not surprised to hear about the drugs at the party, but she was surprised to hear about Emily.
“What about Nate? Was he there with Emily?” Charlie shook her head.
“His dad wouldn’t let him go to it either. How did you know?” Sabrina pulled Charlie into a hug, thanking God for keeping her safe and being so grateful that she had the good sense to listen to His gentle prompting.
“I didn’t know, sweetheart, but God did; that’s the reason I felt so uneasy about letting you go. You see, when you were born I prayed that God would help me raise you and keep you safe. There may be times, just like with this party, that I don’t know what is going to happen, but God will whisper to my heart for me to keep you home. I have learned that even though I may not understand it to trust that whisper, because God always wants what’s best for us.” Charlie pulled back from Sabrina’s embrace and looked up at her.
“That’s what you meant when you were talking about fences, wasn’t it? That I may not understand why you tell me no, but I should trust that it’s for my good.”
“That’s it, honey. I don’t tell you no and keep you home to ruin your fun anymore than you keep Stormy behind fences to ruin his. Sometimes when you truly love someone then you have to love them enough to tell them no.”
After Charlie had left the kitchen, Cleo came in with a basket full of laundry on her hip that needed folding. She set it on the table and the women got to work sorting and matching the seemingly endless piles of socks that the twins went through in just a couple of days.
“I didn’t mean to hear what you told young Charlie, but since I did, do you mind if I comment on it?” Cleo asked.
Sabrina laughed as she tossed another mated pair of socks onto the growing pile.
“Of course not, Cleo, you know better than that. Now what did you want to say?”
“Miss Sabrina, I see you raising Charlie in a godly way and I know that you struggle sometimes to find that balance between hovering too close and letting her stray too far, especially now as she is getting to the age that she is. As a parent it’s hard to let them go out into the world knowing what we know. It can be a rough and scary place. The old devil is out there just looking for who he can tempt away from God’s fold.”
“I know, Cleo, that’s what worries me. I absolutely know that we have an enemy out there, and the way that he gets to God is through us. It terrifies me sometimes to think of turning my children loose.”
Cleo stopped matching up socks and went to her room, returning with her Bible in her hand. She opened it and flipped through the pages until she found the place she was seeking.
“Right here, Proverbs 22:6, ‘Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it.’ Now I know the Bible says he, but I’m pretty sure that it will apply to our she as well, aren’t you? Your job is to teach her the way she should go, Miss Sabrina, and you are doing just that. By telling her what you told her earlier. That you are trusting God to help you raise her and by telling her that you don’t always have all the answers, but you put your faith in the One that does. As parents we sometimes make the mistake of letting our children think that we have it all together, but what better lesson to teach them than to let them see us stumble and reach out to God for help? No one is perfect, Miss Sabrina, and we shouldn’t allow our children to believe that we are either. Let them see our shortcomings, our struggles, let them see us as less than perfect people that’s loved and helped by a perfect God.”
Sabrina reached and took Cleo’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Oh, Cleo, you’re right! I used to think my mother was perfect because I never saw her struggle with anything. I always felt insecure and inadequate around her because of that. Now this was before she gave her heart to Christ and when she was a very different person, but I never want to make my children feel like that in any way! So thank you for pointing this out to me because I honestly never would have made the connection.”
Cleo squeezed her hand gently then went back to matching up socks. “You’re welcome. I just know that children practice what they see, be it good or bad. So let them see you call on God for guidance when you’re unsure of things; then when they are grown that’s what they will do, too.”
That night as Sabrina climbed into her bed she had a long heart to heart with God about her feelings over Devon being gone so much.
“Lord, I know you are very much aware of my feelings about Devon being gone so much. I really am grateful that he has a job that he loves and that doesn’t put him in danger, but I miss him being home. I need him here with me and children, Lord. Charlie is getting at the age that she needs a father figure that’s actually here in body as well as spirit, and frankly a voice on the phone isn’t cutting it any more. The boys are growing so fast and he is missing milestone after milestone that he won’t be able to get back. Can’t someone else find the bad guys? Surely there is someone else out there just as qualified as my husband that can do this job. It still seems like I’m raising my children alone.” She reached over and turned out the light; then she lay there staring up at the ceiling watching the moonlight as it slowly moved across the ceiling, marking the hours as they passed.
Finally she kicked the covers off and padded downstairs to heat up some milk. Pouring milk into a small saucepan, she waited for it to heat up. Once it was warm, she poured it into a large coffee mug and sipped it as she walked into the twins’ room. Their beds were shoved together because they ended up in the same bed anyway. They were now piled on top of one another. DJ was on his back and Luke had both of his legs flung over DJ as he slept on his stomach. They had to be touching in order to sleep. Sabrina smiled as she tucked the blanket more tightly around them. What a blessing they were and what a handful! The smile was replaced with a frown. Their daddy should be here more to help with the energetic twosome. It wore Cleo and herself out by the day’s end keeping up with them. She gently closed their door and checked on Charlie.
Charlie was tucked tightly under her green and pink striped comforter. Her room was painted a pale green with green and pink striped curtains that matched her comforter. The dark hardwood floors were cold on bare toes first thing in the morning, so Sabrina had bought two large fuzzy rugs, one green and one pink, to throw on the floor beside her bed and in front of her desk. Charlie had dozens of pictures of horses of all different breeds taped to her walls, along with snapshots of friends and family. Clothes were tossed here and there. Sabrina picked up a pair of jeans, noticing that they were almost the same size as hers. Tears pricked her eyes as she realized that her baby girl wasn’t a baby any more. Gone was the tiny infant that she had held in her arms who was supposed to have been a boy. Gone was the chubby cheeked toddler that had learned to walk in the house that she and Luke had shared. Gone was the little girl that had ridden her tricycle up and down the halls of the estate, much to Edgar’s chagrin and Sherrilyn’s delight. Charlie would turn thirtee
n in just a few months, and she would officially be a teenager. Sabrina leaned down and kissed the tousled curls that peeked out from under the covers. It was sad somehow… like she was saying goodbye to an era…
Chapter 9
The first day of summer was now here and Charlie along with her best friend Lakyn was planning how they would spend every available moment. Gideon was trying his very best to find his happy place and zone them out when Charlotte popped into Charlie’s room.
“Hey, Gideon, Skye wanted to know if we are going to have drills this afternoon.”
Gideon didn’t even look up from his prone position where he was hovering five feet above Charlie’s bed. “How exactly did he ask his question today?”
Charlotte laughed then she cleared her throat and repeated the question in Skye’s current favorite cartoon character.
“Say there, little lady, would you mind, I say, would you mind, asking Gideon if we, that is, if we are going to have drills today, little lady?”
Gideon actually chuckled at Charlotte’s impersonation. “Sheriff Woody?” he guessed.
“Nope! Foghorn Leghorn,” Charlotte corrected as Gideon floated down from the ceiling to stand beside her.
“Oh, that’s right! The big white rooster that’s always picking fights with that dog.”
“That’s the one; so are we having drills or not?”
Gideon nodded his head toward the two girls who were stretched out on Charlie’s bed with notebooks and pencils. “That depends on what they decide to do this afternoon. So far I have heard about a dozen plans for this afternoon alone and don’t get me started on the rest of the summer. I don’t remember her being this obsessed with mapping out her entire summer last year.”
Charlotte grinned and elbowed Gideon in the ribs. “That’s because she is growing up and will become a teenager soon. Teenage girls map out and plan everything down to the smallest detail. You want my advice? Invest in an IPod.”
Gideon frowned down at her. “What’s that? A I what?”