by Ana Stone
“Has Mr. We’zel filled you in on the latest info?”
Blake shook his head and continued walking as Donaldson talked. “We found out that a tanker of diesel fuel has been ordered to make delivery at the same location the fertilizer’s going to. But the delivery date has been changed to Wednesday, the third of May.”
“And I’m going to be there when the goods come in,” Blake stated as he opened the door to his office. “Tuesday morning I leave before dawn. I’ve made arrangements for transportation and lodgings. The Birmingham office has agents assigned to assist and the local police will be brought in as well. I’ll brief everyone fully before I leave.”
“Yes, sir,” Donaldson nodded. “Anything else, sir?”
“Proceed with your assignment,” Blake answered absently and went into his office. He still had a lot of paper work to do before he met the other agents at ten.
He had been at it for almost an hour when Weasel walked into his office. “What’s up?”
“Paperwork.”
“So, I understand you and Syd had a row over her trip with Zayne?”
“She told you?” Blake looked up in surprise.
“She mentioned it in passing.”
“I don’t get it.” Blake leaned back in his chair and looked across the desk at his friend. “Why’s she so insistent on sticking her neck out? Am I just fooling myself thinking that we have something special or does she have a thing for Zayne?”
Weasel did not respond immediately and Blake got a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Is that it?”
“No.” Weasel shook his head and took a seat in front of the desk, propping his forearms on his legs and lacing his fingers together with his index fingers extended. He studied his hands for a moment then looked up at Blake. “I really think this should come from Syd, not me.”
“What?” “Look, man, I don’t know how much Syd’s told you about her past and I don’t want to speak out of turn. I advised her to talk to you about this herself but to be honest I don’t know if she will or not.”
“Weasel, if you know something then please spit it out You’re starting to worry me. Is something wrong with Syd?”
There was another long pause before Weasel answered. “Has she ever talked about college?”
“Not really.”
“Did she ever say why she decided to become a shrink?”
“Just that she wanted to find out what made people tick.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a little more than that.”
“So what does college and becoming a psychiatrist have to do with her obsession with Zayne?”
“Everything,” Weasel replied and proceeded to tell Blake what had happened to Sydney. As he talked Blake got a sick feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t believe that she’d been through something like that. But it did explain a lot about her; why she always kept that wall up between her and everyone else that was so hard to penetrate.
“And you were there?” he asked when Weasel finished. “He did that in front of you?”
Weasel nodded. “It was bad, man. Real bad. Syd was in the hospital for a week. She had two broken ribs and was beat up real bad. For a while the doctors thought she had internal damage and there was even some doubt as to whether she’d be able to have children. When he was beating her he - hell, I don’t know how he did it, or with what, but he ruptured one of her ovaries and she had to have surgery.”
“Jesus, Weasel, she never mentioned a thing about it.”
“It’s not something she likes to remember. But it was a turning point in her life. She was on the road to being the next Hemingway, man - and she would have made it. She was always winning awards for her writing and she had a lot of short stories published while she was in high school and college. But Daniel Boorman put an end to that and Syd retreated into a shell where she was safe and isolated. From then on she wouldn’t let anyone get close to her except me and I guess that’s because she felt safe with me, you know?”
“But she got married.”
“Yeah, and that was her second mistake. Mallory was a prick, pure and simple. Syd married him because she let herself be pressured into it, not because she loved him. Don’t get me wrong. She did care about him. But it was never the way it is between the two of you. She tried to start writing when things were bad with Evan - as a kind of escape. He found what she was working on and laughed at her - made fun of her. That was definitely not what she needed. But then, he really didn’t give a shit about her. Now, it’s different. She loves you, man. You’re the one she’s been waiting for. And now that she’s finally come out of hiding and started writing again, I really think she can heal.”
“Why couldn’t she just trust me enough to tell me?”
“Maybe she will,” Weasel replied. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d keep what I’ve told you between us. And while you’re at it, maybe you could try and see Syd without all the emotions clouding your vision. See, this is the first time I’ve seen her be the real Syd in years. She was a bulldog, man, when she set her mind to something - afraid of nothing and willing to stick her hand in any hole, if you know what I mean. And she’s determined to pick Zayne’s mind so she can write this book.”
“It’s hard for me to imagine Syd being like that,” Blake admitted. “She’s always seemed so−so non-aggressive and kind of quiescent in a way.”
“That’s the mask she hides behind. The real Syd is a dynamo. I’ve missed the real Syd. I hope she makes it all the way back.”
“I take that to be a mild hint for me to leave her alone on this one,” Blake commented. “You think I should let her go on this trip and keep my mouth shut.”
“I didn’t say that. But I think maybe if you could just talk to her and try to trust the way she feels about you then maybe you could understand that just like you have to do what you do, so does she. Maybe even more. She was born to be a writer, man. She could be one of the best. I’d hate to think that you’d be one of the ones who’d squash that because it interfered with what you want.”
Blake knew Weasel was right. He loved Sydney but he didn’t own her and she had to do what was right for her. “Thanks,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you’ve been there for her, GW. I’ll try to do the same.”
“GW?” Weasel arched his eyebrows. “What’s this? No more Weasel?”
Blake smiled and shrugged. “Just seems kind of juvenile - considering.”
Weasel stood up. “I gotta check out a couple of things. See you at the meeting.”
Blake nodded and watched him leave then picked up the phone and dialed. “Syd? Hi, it’s me. I was wondering if maybe you could knock off a little early today? Oh, I just thought it might be nice to take a drive into the country, stop for dinner at one of the inns in Virginia− maybe even stay the night. Wait. Let me finish. I promise to have you back in time to catch your boat tomorrow. Great! See you at the apartment. Ssay around two? Okay - and Syd? I love you.”
He hung up the phone and blew out his breath, feeling like he had been holding it a long time. Talking about her trip was not as hard as he thought it would be, but then he wasn’t watching her sail away with Zayne. He was quite sure he wouldn’t find that task so easy.
Adrian looked up as the man entered the room but didn’t bother to stand. “You have something to report?”
“She’s leaving with the FBI agent to go to Virginia for the night.”
The urge to throw something rose inside him. His dislike of Blake Edwards was quickly turning into a deep-seated hatred. He couldn’t believe Sydney would choose Blake over him, yet every time he turned his back she was with the man.
“I don’t want that to happen.” He knew his men would take care of the problem without having to fill him in on the details.
“Yes, sir.” The man turned to walk away.
“Thomas?” Adrian called to him.
“Sir?”
“If the woman is harmed you should not return. Do I make myself clear?”
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br /> “Quite clear, sir.”
“That is all.”
He watched the man leave the room then turned his attention to the report on his desk. For a few moments he glowered at the page, then suddenly he smiled. Blake Edwards wasn’t an insurmountable problem. Neither was Sydney’s affection for him. That affection could quickly turn to disdain. She only needed the right incentive and Adrian knew just how to provide that. With a smile he picked up the phone.
For a while Sydney and Blake rode without speaking. They left the Washington area, crossed the river and headed west on I-66. “Where are we going?” she asked as they turned off onto highway 50.
“I made reservations at the Ashby Inn.” He looked over at her. “Have you ever stayed there?”
“No, but I’ve heard it’s very nice.”
“It is. The main house was built somewhere around the late 1820’s and it’s decorated in the Shenandoah style. Some of the rooms have cannonball and rope beds. There’s an old schoolhouse that was converted and it has four suites that have big poster, canopy beds and fireplaces with their own private porches and these enormous six-foot tubs. The restaurant is very good. They serve candlelit dinners of mostly local fish and game.”
“You sound like a travel brochure,” she laughed and reached over to put her hand on his leg. “But it sounds heavenly.”
“Not too tame?” he asked lightly.
“Tame?” She looked at him with a perplexed expression on her face. “Why would you ask that?”
Blake figured this was as good a time as any to broach the subject of her past. The only problem was he was not quite sure how to bring it up without divulging the fact that Weasel had filled him in. “Let’s call it intuition,” he replied. “Sometimes I get the idea that behind that cool and collected exterior beats the heart of an adventurer - someone who’s more bold and daring than she lets on.”
Sydney’s expression changed to become guarded. “Are you sure you’re not mixing me up with someone else? I’m just your average, garden-variety psychiatrist whose biggest risk is facing the morning rush-hour traffic.”
“Has it always been like that?”
Sydney shrugged and looked out of the side window. “I guess.”
“Well, what about when you were a kid or when you were in college? Were you a rebel or a trouble-maker? Did you ever get into−“
“You’ve been talking to GW, haven’t you?” she interrupted him.
“I talk to GW all the time.” He avoided answering her question directly.
“You’ve been talking about me. What is it you want to know, Blake?”
Blake reached for his cigarettes in his lapel pocket before he realized that he wasn’t wearing a jacket. “Everything. That’s not so odd is it? Most people want to know about the person they’re in love with.”
“True,” she agreed. “But I get the distinct feeling that you want to know something very specific. So, instead of playing twenty questions and trying to steer me into a certain direction, why not just come out and ask me what it is you’re curious about?”
“Syd, I…“ He paused, thinking that he didn’t want to cause a problem between her and Weasel, but not seeing a way around admitting he had talked to Weasel about her. Then an idea dawned on him. “Well, you know how us federal boys are. We run checks on everyone. And there are some interesting things in your past that we’ve never talked about.”
“Such as?” she asked stiffly.
“Daniel Boorman.” He decided to cut to the chase. He wasn’t totally lying about checking her out. After Weasel had told him about Boorman and what happened, he had checked into it. There was not much in the files on the case except that she had been hospitalized with broken ribs, various cuts and contusions and serious internal damage caused by the rape.
“Daniel.” She turned away from him and looked out the window once more. “What did GW tell you?”
“Only that you had a relationship with the guy and that he went whacko one night and attacked you then killed himself.”
Sydney turned to him with an icy expression stamped on her face. “Then it would seem you already have all the facts.”
“Syd, I’m not trying to make you mad. I just want to understand. I know you were hospitalized and I know you were raped. That had to have had an impact on you and I just wanted to know−“
“The gory details?” she snapped. “Is that what this little trip is all about? To question me about some mistake I made a million years ago?”
“No!” He reached out to try and take her hand. “Syd, please.” He tried again when she pulled her hand away. “I wanted to be with you because I love you. But I need to know the real you if we’re going to make it beyond this point and the only way I can do that is for you to let me through that wall you live behind.”
Sydney looked down at his hand lying on the seat between them and slowly took it in hers. “Blake, I don’t know if I can let anyone in. I want to, but I’m afraid of the pain. Remembering that time is like taking a trip into a nightmare. I don’t know that I want you to see that. I don’t know if you will still feel the same for me if you do.”
Blake looked at her for a moment then made a left turn off highway 50 onto a small road marked as 629. Less than a mile down the road he turned again onto an unmarked dirt road and stopped the car. Sydney was looking out of the window as if she was afraid to look at him.
“Syd, look at me.” He unfastened his seat belt and slid over closer to her. “I love you and nothing you can tell me will change that. But not being honest is the same thing to me as saying that you don’t trust me and I don’t think I can deal with that.”
She nodded without speaking then turned to him. “Did GW tell you what happened that night?”
“Yes.”
“It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t believe that it was really happening to me. I really thought he loved me, you know? And I was too young and naive to realize that he was a sick man.”
“GW said that’s why you decided to go into psychiatry.”
“Yes. When Daniel killed himself I knew I could never ask him why he’d done it and I had to know what made someone do something like that to someone they professed to love. I thought if I found the answer then I could prevent it from ever happening again.”
“And so you gave up your dream of becoming a writer. Weasel told me that you’re very good.”
A hint of a smile fleetingly crossed her face. “He’s a little prejudiced because of our friendship but yes, I gave up writing.”
“Maybe you should get back into it.” He watched her for a reaction to his words.
She looked up into his eyes and suddenly smiled. “He told you that too, huh? I’m really going to have to have a serious talk with GW. He’s getting very gabby in his old age.”
“He loves you,” Blake responded in GW’s defense. “And he wants you to be happy. Just like I do, Syd. He thought he was doing the right thing. Besides, if you want to blame someone, then blame me. I made him tell me.”
She laughed and shook her head. “You made him? Sorry, but I don’t think so. Don’t forget, I know GW better than anyone and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it’s next to impossible to make him do anything he doesn’t want to.”
“But I did. I forced−“
“It’s okay,” she interrupted gently. “I know he cares and I’m not really angry. Maybe it’s time all of this was taken out of the closet, anyway. I’ve been hiding it for so long it’s starting to weigh me down. I have started writing again and it’s like coming home after being far away in some dark place where the sun never shines.”
Blake figured he might as well try his luck at that point. “So does this book have anything to do with your determination to spend time with Adrian Zayne?”
“It has everything to do with it,” she answered without hesitation. “Blake, I never imagined that something as horrible as this bombing would be the catalyst th
at would help me break free of all those old chains, but it has. And Adrian’s a big part of it. He’s not like everyone else. Not that anyone is ever really like anyone else - that’s not what I mean. I mean Adrian’s very different. The way his mind works fascinates me. I have to get inside his head! Otherwise the book will be stalled dead in the water and I’ve got to tell you that right now I just can’t let that happen.”
Blake considered what she said. In a way he understood where she was coming from. He was like that when he was involved in a case. Everything else came second because he became the case.
“I think I understand,” he said at last. “But I’m still worried, Syd. You’re probably in a better position to give an assessment of Zayne’s personality and I wouldn’t argue with you. But your own words make me nervous about you being with him. After what you went through with Boorman, do you really want to put yourself in the position to potentially be in danger from Zayne?”
“That’s exactly why I have to!” she insisted. “But there’s something you have to understand. Adrian is completely different from Daniel. He thinks he wants me but I’m convinced it’s only because he doesn’t have me.
“Think about it, Blake. Here’s a man who’s used to having anything he wants, when he wants it. When something or someone comes along that he can’t have it drives him crazy until he gets it. I believe that’s how it is with me. He doesn’t really want me. He just thinks he does. So, as long as I don’t give into him, I’m safe. He’ll keep trying to win me over.”
“Maybe,” Blake replied. “But there’s always the possibility that you could be wrong.”
“And I’m prepared for that. I’m taking my laptop and cell with me. If I run into trouble I can call or at least get through via the computer to GW. Besides, there’s always the possibility that he just might let his guard down and tell me something you can use against him. And believe me when I tell you that if he’s responsible for all those people dying, I want to see him put away.”