by Hayden Hunt
“Well, I have the day off tomorrow, so we can meet whenever you’d like.”
“Let’s go to the dog park in the morning then. 9 am. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said as politely as possible, despite the bite in his voice.
“Perfect. Then I’ll see you then.” He very reluctantly handed over Bailey, cooing at her the entire time. “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby. Soon you’ll be back here living with me, I promise.”
I pulled Bailey into my arms. “I’ll take great care of her, I swear,” I promised him.
“You better,” he mumbled as he followed behind me to the door.
“Excuse me?” I couldn’t help snapping. “That was unnecessarily rude.”
He shrugged, as if it didn’t much matter what I thought.
“Well, I’m kind of doing you a big favor here,” I reminded him.
“Oh please,” he huffed.
“You don’t think I am?!” I said it sharply, but not loudly. I didn’t want to scare Bailey.
“You think I’m an idiot? I can see that you love Bailey. I can tell that you want to keep her. I don’t believe for a second that you’re merely doing this out of the kindness of your heart.”
“No? Well, if you don’t think I’m being kind, then why are you letting me do it?”
“Because you’re right. You may like Bailey, but I also do believe you’re protecting her. She’s not comfortable here. As much as I want to spend time with her again, it would be selfish for me to force her to stay here when she’s this distraught.”
Hearing this, I softened on him. He might have been completely rude, but at least he really did care about this dog and was willing to put his own feelings on the back burner for her. Not a lot of people were that sacrificial.
“But,” he continued, “don’t think you’re going to get to keep her. I will have her back with me, no matter what it takes to get there. Even if I need to move into another place, she’s mine and I won’t let her go again.”
I gave a sideways smile as I stepped backward out the door. “Oh, I don’t doubt it for a second.” I turned around and hollered over my shoulder. “See you tomorrow at nine!”
6
Charlie
I felt bad last night after Officer Bryant left. I realized how extremely rude I had been to him when he had done me so many favors.
But I just couldn’t help it! I had such a long day and he came off as kind of an asshole.
He had that usual cop demeanor. His face was just constantly serious. He clearly thought nothing of saying exactly what popped into his head, expecting no consequences from that.
I didn’t think he was trying to be rude to me. Maybe he really didn’t consider how the things he said would come off. Like I thought, it just seemed to be the cop thing. Every cop I’d ever met had been so serious and blunt. Almost… devoid of personality.
But one thing I couldn’t talk shit on was his looks. He was incredibly handsome. I usually wasn’t into blondes, but he had a perfectly chiseled face with a jaw line that made me stare. And don’t even get me started on his physique, I thought. Even through his shirt, I could see his muscles bulging out.
But, of course, I would never even try flirting with him. First off, because he was rude. And secondly, because he was obviously a straight, overly masculine cop. And third, I wasn’t supposed to be dating. This was supposed to be my time to be single and figure myself out.
Although, clearly, I wasn’t doing much of that anyway. How could I figure myself out with so much external bullshit going on around me? There was no time to manage the puzzle that was my personal life while unscrambling the puzzle that was my father’s affairs.
The care home had called me this morning and I had to go over there and sign a bunch of paperwork to get him settled there. Doing that was the first time I considered all the other loads of paperwork and planning I’d soon have to do for my father.
It wasn’t something I understood or knew how to deal with in the slightest. I didn’t handle anything of my mother’s after she passed, my father did. And he never bothered to teach me about any kind of end-of-life care or responsibilities.
So right away, I hired a lawyer who I’d see tomorrow. I didn’t want to get overwhelmed with all this bullshit, so best to get some things out of the way immediately.
But now was not the time to think of any of that. It was twenty minutes till nine and I was going to get to play with my Bailey girl. Of course, I’d also have to hang out with the cop, which I was iffy about, but it was a small price to pay.
The sun was high in the sky when I arrived. As I pulled up, I caught a glimpse of Officer Bryant and Bailey playing in the grass, though they didn’t seem to notice me yet.
Seeing Bailey play out in the grass, it was like she was a completely different dog than the one who was in the house yesterday. Officer Bryant was right—being in that home would have made her crazy.
I thought that was more obvious to him than me. Clearly, he had been seeing her in this happier mood at his house. From the second he walked in, he saw her go from happy-go-lucky to a shaking mess. No wonder he fought so hard for her.
Yeah, I definitely did owe him an apology.
As I got out of my car and approached the gate to enter the park, a weird feeling came over me as I watched him toss a ball around with Bailey. It was almost like… jealousy?
Yes, I was jealous. This man who had only been with my dog two days already had her wrapped around his finger. I guessed in the back of my mind a fear lingered… The fear that Bailey wasn’t going to grow attached to me again. That this man who rescued her would be her new favorite person.
But this fear was soon quelled when Bailey heard the gate creak and realized I was entering the park. Her little face lit up and she ran over to me as fast as her stubby legs would take her.
“Hey there, baby!” I knelt down to pet her.
She rolled around in the grass, giving me the opportunity to scratch her belly as she yipped in delight.
I looked up at Officer Bryant, who was just staring at me as blankly as ever.
“Hey…” I began slowly.
“Hello,” he said in a polite, monotone voice.
“So, thanks for meeting me here.”
“Not a problem,” he answered.
He was sitting in the grass, which seemed like it would make him more approachable. How could someone look serious and intimidating while their ass was in the grass and they were tossing a tennis ball around? Well, somehow, he managed the look just fine.
It was something about the way he was sitting. When I sat down in the grass, my back hunched and I looked like a lazy, slouched mess. But his posture was unaffected. His back was still straight, his entire body rigid.
I sat down next to him in the grass and grabbed the tennis ball lying next to him, throwing it for Bailey to run off and fetch, which she did immediately.
“I wanted to apologize about yesterday,” I told him.
He shrugged softly. “Oh, it’s fine. I probably was being unnecessarily rude. I tend to do that on accident.”
I really could see how that was possible.
“No, you were just looking out for Bailey.” But I realized immediately that was a lie. “Well, actually, yeah. You were a little rude.” I laughed. “But your heart was in the right place.”
He gave a short chuckle. “So was yours. You know, you’re really kind.”
I furrowed my brow. Had I just understood what he’d said?
“Did you say I was kind?” I questioned.
“Yes, you’re kind.”
I laughed. “I was kind of a brat to you. What makes you think I’m kind?”
“You were, a little.” He smiled, mimicking me. “But I can see how badly you wanted to be with Bailey. You really, really want to be with her. Most people, when they feel that strongly about something, they aren't able to let it go. Even if the morally right thing to do requires them to fight their feeling
s. I see it a lot, in my line of work. People do the toxic thing because it’s what they want, even if it’s not ethical. You fought your feelings to do what was right for her. You’re a kind person.”
I was completely taken aback. This was a far deeper observation than I was expecting to hear from him. I was a little lost for words.
Thankfully, it wasn’t entirely necessary to respond because Bailey had returned with her ball. She was panting excitedly as she waited for one of us to throw it back. Officer Bryant was the one who took the opportunity, throwing it out into the middle of the field again.
Maybe I had misjudged him because of his demeanor. What he said was… actually very touching. He managed to make me feel good about myself at a point in my life where I felt bad most of the time.
“Do you have a first name?” I asked suddenly.
He looked at me, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I only know you as Officer Bryant. What’s your first name?”
“Oh,” he said, laughing, “Noah.”
“Noah. That’s a nice name.” And it really was.
I really shouldn’t get too attached to this guy, I thought. He was obviously straight and would have no interest in me. But I couldn’t control the butterflies that began to bubble up in my stomach.
He was incredibly attractive and I’d noticed that from the moment I met him, but it was something that was easier to ignore when I thought he was an ass. But my view of him had completely changed.
Instead of seeing him as this serious, inconsiderate, asshole cop, I saw a stoic but caring man. Who was also incredibly handsome.
But I’d just have to control my attraction. Which wouldn’t be too hard. I had been attracted to plenty of straight men in the past and had to shut down my feelings before they got started.
Besides, I had no time for romance in my life right now. There were tons of things I needed to work out before that was even an option.
“So what do you do, Charlie?” Noah asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
“I’m a writer,” I answered.
“A writer, huh? What do you write?”
“Well, uh, romance novels, actually,” I said, preparing myself to be laughed at.
Writing romance novels wasn’t exactly masculine, and it was something I’d been made fun of for in the past by straight men. Particularly the overly masculine kind like Noah. And he didn’t know I was gay, so I could see him teasing me.
But he didn’t.
“That’s really interesting. Does that mean you just get to write from home? I mean, I assume there’s no office for that kind of thing.”
“Nope, yeah, I just work from home. I write on my own schedule, come out with books on my own schedule. I really just get to live life on my own timeline.”
“Wow.” He nodded. “That sounds great, but I can’t even imagine living my life like that.”
“What do you mean?” I was expecting him to start some diatribe about how he just wouldn’t be able to write something corny enough to constitute romance.
“Well, I just can't imagine living a schedule that I make for myself. I’m so used to being held hostage by the schedule that my job determines. Which is a hectic one.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting.
“So what you’re saying is you don’t think you could live spontaneously?” I asked as I picked at the grass.
“Exactly. I honestly live my life based on my work schedule.”
“But surely you must at least plan out your own free time, right? Like your hobbies, things you like to do…”
He thought for a moment. “I plan out errands, grocery trips, and stuff like that for my days off.”
“Seriously?” I laughed. “Are you telling me you do nothing fun in your free time? You don’t have a single hobby?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “I don’t think I’d really have time for any.”
“That sounds terrible! Do you have to work such intense hours?”
“I do have to work odd hours as a cop but, no. I do take on a lot of overtime that I don’t necessarily have to.”
“Why?!”
“I’m just very committed to my career. I want to advance as soon as possible. I plan to make detective one day.”
“I see.” I paused for a second. “I guess I’ve just never felt that way.”
“How do you mean?”
“I just am not that driven. I’ve never felt that way about a job, you know? My jobs have always been a means to an end… A way to make money. But that’s it. I never cared that much about any job. I really just like this one because it allows me to have all the free time I want while making good money. That’s my ideal job, I guess. The one with the least hours.”
“What about your goals, though? If you don’t have a set career path, what exactly do you focus on?”
“Uh, uh, hmm…” I thought. “Not much, I guess. I don’t have any set goals I feel like I need to achieve. I want to improve as a person, of course. I’d like to grow. But there’s nothing specific I focus on.”
“Yeah, that’s weird to me.” He laughed. “I guess we’re pretty different.”
“Apparently,” I agreed.
We were quiet for a bit. I wasn’t sure why he was silent, or what he was thinking about. But I knew why I was… Because I didn’t think I could continue this conversation without my attraction for him growing.
Then, again, out of nowhere Noah said, “Why don’t you show me?”
“Show you?” I questioned. “Show you what?”
“Show me how to have fun. Show me how to experience a spontaneous day. I’m very curious about how you relax.”
“Well, that’s the thing about relaxing. It doesn’t involve much work. It’s actually the exact opposite of work.”
“So, are you going to show me, then?”
I should say no, I thought. I was already going to have to continue interacting with Noah for the sake of seeing Bailey on a regular basis.
And I was tempted toward romance with him after only our first encounter! The last thing I needed was to continue to see him even more, just for the fun of it.
He could clearly see the hesitance on my face.
“Oh, come on. It’s just more time you can spend with Bailey.”
“All right,” I caved. “I’ll show you.”
“Great!” His face lit up more than I’d seen it since we met. He was actually cuter with a smile plastered across his cheeks. “Well, my next day off is Wednesday…” he began.
“No.” I cut him off.
“No?” he questioned.
“Nope. We’re not waiting until your next day off. We’re going to do this tomorrow.”
He looked confused. “But I just said, I work tomorrow.”
“Exactly!” I said eagerly.
He was not following.
“Having fun, spontaneous, lazy days are about living in the moment. We can’t plan a spontaneous, lazy day for next week! So we’re doing it tomorrow.”
“…But I work.” He still didn’t seem to understand me.
“Yeah.” I awkwardly chuckled. “Believe it or not, I got that the first few times you mentioned it. Have you never called in sick in your life?”
“Once…” he said quietly. “But I had strep.”
I laughed. “Well, there’s this thing us normal people do in the real world. We actually sometimes call in sick to get out of work when we’re not sick. Just for fun.”
“I don’t know…” he said hesitantly.
“Hey, weren’t you the one who just asked me to be your fun coach?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“Then you’re doing this! It’s one day. It won’t kill you to lie one day.”
“Okay,” he finally acquiesced. “We’ll hang out tomorrow. But I’m only doing this for you.”
And for some reason, the way he looked at me when he said that gave me a chill down my spine.
7
Noah
I ended up spending a good chunk of my morning yesterday just hanging out with Charlie and Bailey at the dog park. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I liked him. I found myself actually wanting to be around him more.
This was something I really hadn’t experienced with many people before. Not even my girlfriends in the past would’ve got me to call in sick just to hang out. Not even when our relationship was on the verge of ending would I have sacrificed my job for them… Which, in retrospect, is probably why they all ended.
Yet, here I was, 10 am on a Friday and waiting for him to arrive after calling off from work.
I had to wonder, what exactly did this mean for me? At first, I told myself I just liked his company. That I was lonely because I had no friends and I was jumping on an opportunity to finally make one.
But in my heart, I knew that was not true. I’d had friends in the past, plenty of them, and none of them struck a chord like Charlie seemed to.
Why lie about it, I thought. I liked him. It was weird to think but… I was even attracted to him.
I had never liked a man before. I wasn’t homophobic or anything, and I didn’t think I’d ever repressed any kind of gay tendencies. I seriously had never met a man who made me think about him in a romantic way. It just hadn’t happened.
Well, until now.
I wasn’t in the mood to overanalyze it, though. I was sure, for most men, these feelings might bring about some kind of existential crisis. Maybe a normal guy would resist hanging out with Charlie as they questioned their sexuality and did their best to figure out where they stood on the spectrum of sexuality.
But I had no desire to question my sexuality. Because, frankly, I just didn’t care. I didn’t care if I was completely straight and women were my only thing. I didn’t care if I was gay, and it was men I was looking after. I didn’t need to label myself either thing; it didn’t seem important.
Right now, the only thing that did seem important was exploring a relationship with a person I happened to be attracted to. And at the moment, that was Charlie.