by Vivian Wood
She’d sighed.
“October twelfth, smack in the middle of the Libra dates,” she’d said aloud. “Come on, Lily, you can do this. It’s just carbs, you’re not giving up oxygen.”
If she was going to work on something of a personal nature, why not make it her diet? Of course the outcome would be great. This diet would fulfill two horoscope messages in one.
Carbs were one thing. But her caffeine addiction? There’s no way she was giving that up.
Besides, doesn’t that help with weight loss? She made a beeline for the coffee section, and as she turned the corner she nearly ran right into a mountain of a man.
“Whoa,” he said as he held the small hand basket aside.
Shit. Of course I’d run into Cade.
“Uh …” Lily searched for her words as she looked him up and down. Her face was inches from his muscled chest, and she could smell the musky scent of his cologne. It was intoxicating.
God, I hope I’m not drooling. Wait, is this what my horoscope meant when it meant things of a personal nature, strange encounters—and a great outcome?
Just seeing Cade made her stomach do gymnastics. She should know, better than anyone, that messing with Cade meant she’d get burned. How many girls had she watched him hump and dump over the years?
He had a real reputation around Salem before he left for California. Some girls still talked about him as they bemoaned why they couldn’t be the one to make him change.
And with how he looks now, I’m sure he’ll be on a whole new streak by tomorrow.
Lily forced herself to stop staring at him.
“Hi,” Cade said. A corner of his mouth hitched up.
Does he know what I’m thinking? Lily turned bright read.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
God, you sound like an idiot. But once she started apologizing, she couldn’t stop. At least it gave her something to say.
Cade laughed.
“I’ll let it slide this time,” he said.
“I was just trying to get to the coffee,” she said awkwardly.
“I’ll walk with you, if that’s okay.”
“Uh, sure?” she said. She was so nervous, she had started to sweat.
Real attractive, Lily.
As they walked down the narrow aisle side by side, she couldn’t stop the images of when they’d been together from replaying through her head. It was like she could feel his lips on her again, nipping at her ears.
And how he’d felt when he’d eased her onto his cock. Just the memory instantly made her wet—and even more embarrassed.
Lily couldn’t be completely certain why she was so nervous.
Except maybe that he’s freaking gorgeous. The very definition of a bad boy. Not to mention my brother’s best friend, she reminded herself.
Okay, so there were plenty of reasons to be nervous. And plenty of reasons to not talk to him, to let this crush go once and for all.
And yet here you are in the grocery store with him, she thought.
As they made their way towards the coffee aisle, she noticed every woman in the store checked him out. It didn’t matter if they were teenaged girls or middle-aged women in yoga pants.
They think I’m with him, she thought. She nearly gloated. Did it matter that it wasn’t true?
Lily searched for something to say, anything to talk about, but her mind was blank. All she could think about was how good he’d made her feel.
“You look really good,” Cade said.
“Sorry?” she squeaked.
She wished she could just disappear. That the floor would open up and swallow her whole. For a second, she willed it to happen.
How would that be for a strange encounter?
“So, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you?” she asked, a desperate attempt to change the subject.
Of course, when “the last time” came out of her mouth, she blushed even deeper. It had been three years since she’d seen Cade, five years since he had up and vanished.
One minute she’d been falling asleep next to him after he took her v-card, the next she had woken up to a cold, empty bed.
She bit her lip and tried to focus on his answer.
“Just been in Montana. Fighting fires and taking care of my Aunt Mary.”
“How is your aunt?” she asked, eager to be on safe territory.
Cade’s face fell. “She passed away almost a year ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry…”
Lily instinctively reached and touched his arm. She nearly yanked it back as an electric current flowed between them. When his eyes met hers, her mind went blank.
Even in the bright lights of the supermarket, it felt like it was just the two of them. And the connection between them was palpable.
Lily licked her lips and felt her body inch towards him. She couldn’t help herself. But the connection was broken when two teenaged boys ran down the aisle towards them. As one of them jolted her cart, the kid sneered at her.
“Excuse you,” he said while his friend laughed.
She sensed a shift in Cade. He cracked his knuckles and turned lightning fast on the boys.
“Hey!” he called. Something in his voice made them stop. “Get back here and apologize.”
“Cade, stop,” she hissed under her breath. “It’s not a big deal—”
“It is,” he said.
Why was he so riled up over something that most people would just roll their eyes at? Her heart started to pound in her chest.
“Are you for real?” the boy asked who bumped her cart. That teenage confidence he’d displayed was gone, replaced with a touch of fear.
“Apologize now,” Cade said.
“Sorry,” the kid mumbled.
“It’s fine—” Lily started.
“Like you mean it,” Cade interrupted.
“I’m sorry! Okay? Can we go now?” the kid asked. He looked around for help, but there was nobody.
“Can you go?” Cade repeated. “No, you can’t go. You think you can just do whatever the hell you want and there won’t be consequences?”
“It was an accident, dude,” the other kid said. He tilted his pointy chin upwards, an attempt to look more grown-up.
“It wasn’t an accident,” Cade said. “You think that would have happened if you weren’t running around the place like a couple of kindergartners? Is that how you think men act?”
“We were just in a hurry,” the kid who bumped into her said.
“And where the hell do you have to be that’s so important? Shouldn’t you be in school, anyway?”
The boys looked at each other and shuffled their feet side to side.
“What are you even getting here?” Cade asked.
“Nothing,” one of the kids started to say, but his friend shot him a look.
“What is it?” Cade asked.
The quieter one sheepishly held up a half-dozen box of free-range eggs.
“Eggs?” Cade asked. “You two think you’re Rocky or something?”
“Who?” the kid with the eggs asked.
“Nevermind. Just go buy your eggs and get lost.”
“So we can go?” one of them asked, uncertain. He looked longingly towards the front of the store.
“Yeah, sure,” Cade said. “Just don’t be a little shit again, alright?”
“Yes, sir,” the kid said, without a hint of sarcasm. “We just… we just want our eggs.”
What was that all about? Lily wondered. Sure, the kids had been jerks, but that’s what kids do.
But before Lily could say anything, Aiden appeared around the corner.
“Hey!” he said. “There you are. And you found Lily, too.”
“We didn’t come here together,” Lily said quickly.
Aiden gave her a strange look. “I didn’t think you did. But I saw both your cars outside.”
“Oh. Right,” she said. “Our cars. Yeah.”
“So… what�
�s going on?” Aiden asked.
“What do you mean?” Lily said, defensive. “We’re just shopping, I wanted coffee—”
“Whoa, calm down,” Aiden said. “I mean, it just seems like something weird’s going on. There’s some kind of, I don’t know, energy in the air.”
“What, are you psychic now?” Lily asked. “We were just shopping.”
“Yeah, you said that,” Aiden replied.
He looked from one of them to the other. Lily racked her brain for something to say.
Could Aiden tell? Maybe it was written all over her face. Maybe he and Elijah had always known she’d harbored a crush for Cade.
“Just some little jackass running wild through the store,” Cade said. “Seriously, were we that wild when we were teenagers? What the hell are they doing in some boutique market, anyway?”
“Probably picking up some bougie asparagus water or something,” Aiden said. “Seriously, kids these days don’t eat tater tots and crap like we used to. It’s all artisanal this and organic that.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t think it’s doing their attitude any good,” Cade said. “Hey, man, I need to head out, but we’ll catch up soon, alright?”
“Sounds good. See you at the station,” Aiden said.
“Vegetables?” he asked as he examined Lily’s cart.
She watched Cade’s broad back retreat.
Yeah, I know exactly what that “weird energy” is, and it has nothing to do with those kids, she thought.
It was attraction, mixed with a little self-loathing.
If Elijah ever found out that his little sister was obsessed with his best friend, he’d flip out. She had no doubts about that. Aiden might not be too upset.
Would he be upset? He’d never had the same degree of protectiveness over her that Elijah did. But ever since their dad had died, both of them had upped their guard over her a little more.
“Why are you getting all these vegetables?” Aiden asked. He wrinkled his nose.
“What do you care?” she snapped. “You’re not eating them.”
“You got that right,” he said.
4
Cade
It took everything he had not to slam the door behind him. Dr. Hersh was nice enough, but he got straight to the point.
The older Asian man peered over a pair of rimless glasses and made Cade feel like he could read Cade’s darkest secrets.
“Tell me about the incident with your team in Montana,” Dr. Hersh said within two minutes of Cade sitting down.
“Crew,” Cade had corrected.
“Alright,” Dr. Hersh replied. He leaned back in his camel-colored chair and waited.
Cade shrugged. “There’s not much to say. I’m guessing you have the reports from it.”
“I do,” the doctor said. “But I want to hear what you have to say about it.”
“Not anything new that isn’t in the reports.” Cade looked around the office. It was clinical and sterile.
“Can you tell me the emotions you’re feeling now when you think about it?” the doctor asked.
Cade looked at him bluntly. “Sad,” he said.
“Sad,” the doctor repeated. He held Cade’s gaze and didn’t make any notes. “Anything else? Anger? Confusion? Guilt?”
“Why should I feel guilty?” Cade snapped.
“I don’t know. I’m just giving you some options. Why don’t we talk about another subject for awhile?”
Yeah. Why don’t we?
“Is there anything in particular you’d like to discuss?” Dr. Hersh asked.
“No.”
“Alright. How about your romantic life? Many people have strong feelings about that. Is there anyone special in your life?”
Cade barked out a laugh. “Hardly.”
“You seem upset about that.”
“Why should I be upset?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
Cade sighed. “You just started working with the firehouse, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Ever had a firefighter … patient before?” Cade asked. He hated to use that word.
“Not before my contract with the firehouse, no.”
“Then maybe you don’t know, but firefighters don’t really have a problem getting women.”
“I see.” This time the doctor did make a note.
Cade shifted. That wasn’t the response he’d expected. “So … if you’re asking if I’m hard up for a date or whatever, the answer’s no.”
“That wasn’t what I asked,” the doctor said. “Why do you think that’s what you inferred?”
“I don’t know,” Cade said, exasperated as he crossed his arms.
“So, I’m led to believe you’ve had a generous amount of sexual partners,” Dr. Hersh said.
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you’re afraid of intimacy?”
Cade glared at him. “Didn’t I just tell you that I’ve slept with a lot of women?”
“That wasn’t what I asked. Sex and intimacy can be mutually exclusive. And I’m getting the message that you lean heavily toward the sex-only side.”
Cade seethed below the surface, but he gritted his teeth and refused to say anything more.
“Do you have any interest in returning to the subject about your team’s deaths in Montana?”
“No,” Cade said coldly. He didn’t bother to correct him this time.
“Alright. Mr. Charles, I’m going to recommend medical leave for you.” Dr. Hersh began writing notes quickly on his pad.
“Medical leave? What? But I haven’t even started at this company yet!”
“Mr. Charles, let me make this clear. You can either continue to see me, or you can rethink your position with the company. It’s your choice.”
“You really think they’re going to pay for me to sit around and do nothing but talk to some shrink about my feelings?”
“Actually, that’s exactly what the fire captain has told me he’s willing to do. And I prefer the term psychiatrist.”
Cade let out a heavy breath as he carefully clicked the door shut behind him. “Mr. Charles?” the receptionist asked. “Would you like to schedule your next appointment now or—”
“I’ll call you,” Cade said as he grabbed his jacket. He felt the dark storm that brewed inside him begin to grow.
As Cade slammed his car door and started toward his new, tiny apartment, he spotted Lily across the street burdened with three shopping bags. Something about seeing her lifted his spirits. She nearly tripped on the uneven sidewalk, stopped and glared at the ground.
“Hey! What’s up?” he asked as he rolled up beside her.
She made a face. “My car crapped out again, so I’m walking home.”
“Walking? In those?” he asked and looked pointedly at her heels.
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “There was a special event at the bakery today, and you know French men. ‘A woman should always be in heels.’ At least when they’re representing Jean-Michel’s croissants, at least.”
“I actually don’t know French men that well. But can I give you a lift?”
She looked skeptical and shifted her weight to the side.
“Come on,” he said. “It’s on my way, anyway.”
Lily sighed and nodded. As Cade leaned over to push open the door, he noticed the top button of her blouse had come undone from carrying the bags. Beneath the ironed white shirt he could see the top of a light pink lace bra.
Kind of like the one she was wearing when we hooked up, he thought.
He could still clearly imagine the pinkness of her nipple, how it had hardened instantly when he wrapped his lips around it.
Cade took the bags from her and set them on the small bench seat in the back. As she climbed in, he tried his best not to stare at her long legs that jutted out from the fitted black skirt.
Lily looked at him, embarrassed, as she realized her top was undone and tried to discreetly button it while she buckl
ed herself in.
He stared straight ahead and clenched the wheel tightly.
“Where to?” he asked.
“Oh. Right. You don’t know where I live anymore. Southeast Hoyt,” she said.
“Fancy.”
“Not really,” she said. “You’ll see.”
Lily chattered nervously as he made his way toward the Richmond neighborhood. She talked about the events coming up at the bakery, Jean-Michel’s obsession with cleaning up the graffiti on the building, and plans for Easter brunch with friends, but Cade couldn’t find anything to contribute.
“Well, this is it,” she said.
“You live at a mechanic shop?” he asked.
“No! I live in the apartment above it.”
“Oh. Isn’t it noisy?”
“During the day, probably. But by the time I get home they’re usually done.”
Cade reached back for the bags, uncertain whether to offer to carry them up or not. It would be the polite thing to do, but would she think he had ulterior motives?
“Would you like to come up?” she asked so quickly it sounded like a single word.
“What?”
“I mean, I was going to order some Chinese takeout. So…”
“Didn’t you just get a bunch of groceries?”
“Not really. This is all stuff to practice patisseries at home.”
“What happened to the veggie and coffee kick you were on?”
She blushed slightly. “It’s a cheat day.”
Cade was hesitant. “I don’t know…”
“Oh, come on,” she said, suddenly insistent. “We can order from that place you used to love. Yan Yan, right?”
She remembered that?
“Okay,” he said. “You know I can’t say no to Yan Yan’s.”
It’s not like you have anything else to look forward to at home besides a microwave dinner.
He followed Lily up the narrow staircase, the smell of grease in the air. Her ass was right in his face, swaying rhythmically side to side. When Cade realized he’d started to stiffen, he forced himself to look at his feet.
When she opened the door, it was to a warm, cozy apartment worlds away from the dark stairwell. And it was totally her.