by Thomas, Jodi
She looked back as he raised his palm. “I lost one of my gloves this afternoon. The work was rough and I got a few nicks. I thought the bleeding had stopped. I wouldn’t have held the baby if I thought I’d get it on him.”
Rea frowned. “The baby is fine. Go wash up in the bathroom before you bleed all over the rug.”
He nodded and headed to the bathroom. He’d stayed with her enough to know where everything was. As he washed his hands, he thought about how little time she’d spent worrying about him. If he cut off his own head she’d probably just complain about having to clean up the mess.
At least she’d worried about Utah. Rea would be good for the baby. She’d love him even if she no longer loved Noah.
When he got back downstairs, Reagan was in the kitchen. She didn’t even look up when he walked to the doorway.
“Thank you,” he said simply.
“For what?”
“For loving him first. If you hadn’t taken him in that day, he might have been dropped off somewhere and I might not have ever found him. Or worse, gone home with a mother who didn’t want him and a stepfather who hated him.”
“You’re welcome, but I didn’t do it for you.”
“I know.” He turned to leave.
“You want some soup?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“You offering to feed me?”
“I might as well. You’re getting thinner by the day. If you don’t have Band-Aids at your place, you probably don’t have food.”
“You got that right. If I kept any around, the field mice, who sublet my place, would eat it while I’m working. If you got plenty, I wouldn’t turn down a bowl.”
“Fine, but we’re not together. I’m just offering supper.”
He understood. Moving around her was like walking on a glass memory. All the old feelings were there, but they were covered by thin glass that might shatter with one wrong word.
They ate at the bar in the kitchen. Soup and cornbread. She didn’t offer dessert. He didn’t ask.
He thanked her and offered to help with the dishes.
She said, “No thanks,” as she walked him to the door.
Noah drove off smiling. Hope, he thought. For the first time since he’d come home, he had hope. She wasn’t friendly, but apparently she was over wishing him dead. That seemed a step up.
The next night, he stopped by and brought malts when he came to watch the sunset.
She wasn’t much more friendly, but she did look at him. The hurt was still in her eyes. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was again, and again and again, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. Sorry wasn’t enough.
He wanted to touch her. Just hold her and whisper how she was his world, but she wouldn’t listen.
They sat in the yard chairs long after sunset with a sleeping Utah on Noah’s shoulder. Neither seemed to want this time to end.
When he finally went upstairs to put the baby down, Reagan was waiting at the door when he returned. She didn’t offer supper.
He stepped out on the porch and turned toward her. Before she could close the door, he said what he had to say, “I still love you, Rea, more than ever. If you want it like this between us, then that’s the way it will be, but I’m never lying to you again.”
The door closing was her only answer. She’d pushed it shut softly, but it might as well have been made of iron.
As he walked away, he could hear her crying. The sound twisted his heart. She was still hurting. His Rea was crumbling and he couldn’t reach her. He knew she was only on the other side of the door but it might as well have been a hundred miles away.
Ten minutes later Noah was in the parking lot of Buffalo’s Bar and Grill. Only a few cars were there, probably folks having supper, not customers coming to drink.
For a long time he just sat in his pickup and stared. He’d medicated his pain, both physical and mental, for so long with alcohol, he wasn’t sure how to stop. All he knew was that he wanted to stop the hurting between them and he couldn’t. He had no idea how to fix what he’d broken.
Half an hour passed before he saw Big Biggs walk out of the bar. He had his arm around a very tall woman and they were laughing. Rea had told Noah all about Ester, Big’s girl. She was even prettier and taller than he thought. Crazy thing was, she seemed to like the bull of a man beside her.
Noah climbed out of the truck. “Biggs!” he yelled.
The big guy turned, bracing for a fight. “What do you want, Preacher?”
Noah advanced a few feet. “I want to say I’m sorry about the other night. You had every right doing what you did. I’m a damned idiot.”
“You’ll get no argument from me. You’ve been an idiot pretty much since you went pro. It must come with the buckles you win. They’re so heavy they cut off the oxygen to your brain.”
Noah didn’t laugh. “I just wanted you to know. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, you’re sorry, now good night. I got better things to do than talk to idiots in parking lots.” Big turned to leave.
“I come to ask a favor,” Noah shouted.
Big huffed. “I’m not interested in doing you any favors. Go back to your friends on the road.”
“You’ll like this one.” Noah moved within striking distance. “I want you to hit me again. Real hard.”
Big smiled like he’d just found out it was half-price night at the steakhouse. “That I can do.”
Big swung just as Ester yelled, “No!”
Noah braced for the punch, but it still knocked him off his feet.
Lying in the dirt, he smiled up at Big. “Thanks, I needed that,” he managed to say.
Big offered a hand up. “Anytime, cowboy.”
With his left eye swelling closed, Noah climbed back in his truck completely sober and headed back to his ranch.
The next night Reagan didn’t ask about his black eye, but she did invite him in for supper, and once he caught her smiling.
“What?” he asked.
“Does it hurt?” She pointed at his eye. “Because it looks terrible.”
“Hurts like hell,” he answered, knowing that Big had probably told her all about the favor he’d asked for.
“Want to tell me why you did it?”
“No, and before you ask, I might have to do it again. I seem to be into pain these days. Fell off my horse before lunch. My backside is black and blue. Wanna see? I’m guessing you’ll think that’s real funny too.”
“No, thanks.”
Her giggle was almost worth the pain.
When he left, he thought about telling her that he loved her again, but he didn’t want to hear her crying behind the door again, so he just tipped his hat and said good night.
On the way home he thought about telling her he hated potato soup and hoped she wasn’t planning on serving it every night. But he’d eaten two bowls tonight. If that wasn’t true love, he didn’t know what would convince her.
Chapter 36
HAWK HOUSE
AUSTIN WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE ALONE WITH Ronny at the lake, but the Delaney sisters wouldn’t listen to his complaining when they called. They were planning a party and claimed they needed Ronny’s help. So he had no choice but to pass her the phone.
“Of course we’ll come,” she’d said, and hung up.
He glared at her. “You must have a mouse in your pocket or think you’re a queen, because I’m not going over there for a party. You may know everyone in town, but I don’t.” He wanted to tell her he hadn’t gotten over the four days she was gone to some guy’s wedding in Austin, but he’d just sound desperate. Austin loved having her near, but he promised himself he wouldn’t get too attached. When it came time to say good-bye, he’d leave. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d leave before she left him. Since they’d met he’d been counting down the days on a blank calendar without num
bers. He didn’t know when she’d go, but he knew each day with her was one day less.
This morning, Ronny, after getting him all heated up by attacking him, calmly pulled away when she handed him back the phone. She had some kind of secret weapon she used against him. No amount of growling frightened her and she only obeyed the orders she liked. If an enemy ever got hold of her secret, the army would be in big trouble.
Austin frowned as he watched her running around looking for her shoes.
She didn’t have to say a word.
He knew he was going to give in. “All right. We’re going to a party, but don’t expect me to be any help. I didn’t learn party planning in boot camp.” He moved to the window. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been to a party that wasn’t at a bar, but I’ll bet you I’ll hate it.” She looked too cute just waiting for him to finish his rant. “All right, tell me all about it on the way across the lake. The Delaney sisters are probably already waiting for you on the dock.”
After two rounds of what-do-you-think questioning centered on party themes, Austin gave up listening and moved to the porch. The whole scene sounded like somewhere he didn’t want to be, and who cares what colors balloons should be? He’d suggested pink and they’d all three screamed at him, so he guessed they were off the list along with pork rinds as an appetizer.
He could see Ronny inside searching on the Internet and looking like she was having a great time. He decided to let her have all the fun. He’d take the leftover choice, a nap.
Ten minutes later when he was daydreaming about her, Ronny came out of the house explaining that she had to stay at the Delaney house and cook. She offered to take him back to his place, but he could do nothing here as well as there.
He wasn’t sure when, or even if, he agreed to stay. His leg was only a dull ache now and then, but the girls seemed to think him still helpless, They offered him pillows and more tea than he’d ever drink. One of them was always passing him saying, “Sit, Austin,” like he was the family dog.
Finally out of frustration, he sat down at the kitchen table and watched the women cook. Well, mostly he just watched Ronny. The two Delaney girls kept getting in his line of vision. He decided that he’d write a book one day on the joy of watching Ronny Logan move. He found it hard to believe that no one else noticed how beautiful she was. Every man in Harmony had to be blind, and he had no plans of enlightening a single one of them.
How could she have lived here all her life and only one man loved her? Couldn’t the others see the beauty of her? The good in her? The shy humor and honest answers?
Whenever he moved for a better view of Ronny, they all three yelled, “Sit.”
So Austin took over Tippie’s job of guard duty.
Before dark the yard was full of pickup trucks and people hugging each other. They all seemed happy for Dusti and all wanted to wish her luck. Only a few days until she left.
Everyone walking in the door brought something. Drinks, beer, chips and hot sauce, hot wings. Within an hour the tables and counter were loaded down with food. Every time he stood up, someone brought him a plate of food and wanted to hear about how he killed three pigs heading straight toward him.
Austin gave the abridged version, leaving out the boys. When he finished two minutes later, whoever had asked usually stayed around to tell him every story about wild hogs they’d ever heard. Austin listened for two minutes, then ate his plate of food.
He moved outside to the porch finally, in self-preservation. In the dark corner he could watch and be unnoticed. One more hog story or plate of food just might be the death of him.
After a while, he decided he should try out to play the invisible man for the sequel. No one noticed his six-foot frame. He might as well have been an early Halloween decoration in the rocking chair. Now if they’d all be quiet, he’d enjoy the night.
The one man he called a friend in town was missing from the party. Kieran O’Toole. Austin knew he wasn’t the kind of guy to miss the party just because he’d lost, but it took him almost an hour to catch Dusti long enough to ask her if Kieran had been invited. Knowing Kieran, he’d fly in just to wish Dusti good luck.
“Where’s the Scot?” he yelled as she passed.
“He flew back home after the game,” she answered with a smile, but he saw the hurt in her eyes. “Said he had to get back to work.” Pausing, she finally added, “I haven’t heard from him since. I guess life in a small town can only be interesting for a short time.”
“Don’t you owe him a date?” Austin had heard them mention that that was Kieran’s price for teaching her to play.
“He said he’d pick the time and place and give me a call. I told him I wouldn’t wait long. Next week I’ll be in Vegas, and after that, who knows.”
Dusti Delaney was as easy to read as ever. Kieran had always had a crush on her, even when they were kids, and she’d never seen it. Every time, over the years, that they’d talked about their days on Rainbow Lane, Kieran would always say, “Wonder what Dusti is doing now?”
Austin could tell she didn’t want to take the time to talk about his friend. She mattered to Kieran, but Kieran was just someone she once knew, nothing more.
Austin watched Dusti pull Hank Matheson toward him and guessed she didn’t want him asking her any more questions about Kieran.
Hank followed Dusti to the porch, seemingly happy to find Austin in the shadows.
As before, the two men had plenty to say to one another. Since they’d last visited, Austin had taken the time to read up on some new equipment coming into the fire station. The army had been using something like it for five years. He agreed with Hank that the training would be essential if it was going to be used properly.
Austin finally relaxed. Though he and Hank didn’t talk about the same kind of fires, he felt comfortable with the volunteer chief of Harmony’s fire station. He might be ten or fifteen years older, but there was a calmness about the man. Austin could see why a woman like the sheriff would find peace being around him. Hank Matheson had exactly what Austin wanted in his life: balance.
They talked of the shooting and the hog problem, and then the conversation shifted to town matters. Hank told him about changes coming up in how he trained the men signing up, and Austin volunteered to come down and help him set up a new routine for volunteers coming in to train.
“Most are just kids,” Hank said. “I’ve got to make sure they hear every word I say.”
“I can help with that. It was most of what I did in the army. They don’t realize, one mistake can get them killed.”
Hank agreed. “I could sure use some help if you’ve got the time.”
“I’ve got nothing but time right now.”
They talked on making plans, both excited about what had to be done.
As Hank walked away, Austin realized that for the first time he felt like a part of Harmony and its people. What he’d offered to do would not only keep the firefighters under Hank safer, it would keep the town safer.
Austin leaned back in the old ladderback rocking chair and watched the people circling in small groups, laughing, kidding, talking. They came in all ages and sizes, but he felt so much older than most. Maybe it was what he had gone through, living day by day in danger.
Now, watching them having a good time, he wondered if maybe even as a boy, it had been more that he didn’t want to know the town than that the people didn’t want to know him. He and Kieran had plenty in common as kids. They’d both been moved around and passed off from one person to another. Neither of them particularly wanted to make friends here in the summers. If they had, it would simply be more people to leave behind.
Only now, things had changed here in Harmony. Kieran, in his shy way, had probably simply smiled, waved, and run, as he always did. But Austin was wounded and could no longer run. Now, for the first time in his life, he wanted to stay in Harmony . . . and
the reason for it was headed right toward him. His long-legged, well-rounded-in-all-the-right-places, beautiful neighbor.
Ronny handed him a glass of sweet tea. “Nice party,” she said, looking quite the country girl in her bare feet and short shorts that one of the Delaney girls had loaned her.
He smiled. She was, like him, invisible to most. Several people said hello to her, even complimented her cooking, but none stayed to visit.
“Come over here,” he said so only she could hear. “Please.”
She smiled and moved in front of him. When she sat on the porch railing, she placed her bare feet on one of the chair’s rungs between his legs.
“Talk to me, pretty lady.” His hand circled her ankle. “Tell me about what you’re planning.” He’d seen her talking with an older woman who was dressed like she’d retired from the circus, and the conversation looked like a serious one.
Her words were soft, meant just for him. “I was talking to Martha Q. She says if I decide to do accounting, she’d be my first client.” Ronny’s eyes danced with excitement. “I want to settle down here and maybe start a business. I thought accounting, but it might be more fun to open a bakery. Everyone loved my salads and pies tonight. Only the bakery would have to be in town, and I could do accounting from the cabin.”
He moved his fingers along her leg slowly as she told him of her dream. It wasn’t big, really, not get-rich-quick, no mansion in town or big ranch, but it sounded good. She could work her own hours and take off during the slow times.
“I’m buying the cabin,” she said about the time his fingers reached her knee.
“What?” He stopped, pulling his interest away from where the hem of her shorts ended just below her hips. “Did you say you bought that old cabin?”
She nodded. “I thought I’d live there for a while. Eventually, if my business grows, I might just use it as my getaway place, but for now it is my first real home.”
“Ronny, you’ve got all the world to pick from and you pick a lake in the middle of nowhere?”