by Lisa Swallow
He grinned knowingly and Ava gave him a weak smile in return. An age ago. She wasn’t that girl now. She never could be again.
“The girl who’s more like me than she realizes,” he said, as if talking to himself. Kissing her on the forehead, Keir turned back to Dahlia’s room, releasing Ava’s hand one finger at a time, giving the last one a tiny squeeze as he let it go.
Ava’s heart pounded in her ears as she watched him close the door.
Chapter 12
Ava’s eyes snapped open. The events of the previous evening sharpened into Technicolor focus. She’d let a soul go free.
Once Ava got home, voices of students tripping down the hallway to bed kept her awake. Exhaustion eventually overtook her fear and she’d slept, dreams filled with images of the soul floating into the air, in reach of her fingers for an instant before vanishing. Then dreams of pursuit, something dark chasing her toward Keir. Her dagger still lay under her pillow and she was fully clothed, ready.
How long did she have before Darius sent someone to retrieve her? Not only had she failed to take the Nephilim soul she was sent for, but she’d released one from a demon into the unknown. Someone, somewhere knew, and consequences waited for her.
Keir’s decision against accompanying her back to her dorm room - not even to see if she got there okay - troubled her. His caring words sounded empty in her mind, not backed up by action. He didn’t care. Not really.
The uncomfortable feeling created by her analysis of the evening before followed her to class, through the morning and into her shift at the coffee shop.
Dahlia and Keir didn’t show for any lessons.
Had Keir tricked her? Is this how the other soul-hunters had failed? Manipulating people was what she did. Ava seduced demons into doing what she wanted. Keir could do the same to her.
A busy afternoon was what she needed. Customers who’d normally irritate Ava distracted her from unwanted thoughts as she juggled orders and cups. Ava still lacked customer service skills, but today she was preoccupied to the point regular customers noticed and asked if she was okay. Their concern surprised her.
“Large flat white and a chat when you’re done.”
Ava looked up sharply as she recognized the voice. “Zach.”
“Aww, you remember me. Sweet. I’ll wait for you to finish.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall. “Half an hour, isn’t it?”
Ava took his money and silently served him. The tall dark-haired guy slouched across the room to sit at a table with a good view of the counter. Zach pushed his fringe from his eyes as he studied her and she frowned back at him, hoping her expression communicated how much she didn’t want to speak to him. The coincidence of his presence added to her anxiety about Keir.
Shift over, Ava removed her apron and walked to his table. Zach leaned back in his seat, peering at her through his long fringe.
“Hi, Ava.”
Ava crossed her arms. “What are you doing here?”
He raised an eyebrow at her sour expression. “I heard about last night.”
“That’s nice. Anything else you wanted?”
“You don’t want to talk to me?” Zach made a mock pout of disappointment.
“Why? Last time I saw you, I was going to fucking kill you,” she hissed, “I still might.”
Zach laughed loudly, eyes glittering in warning. “I know, sorry about standing you up but trying to kill me is a bit of an extreme reaction, don’t you think?”
“I’ve done worse to people who upset me.”
“Oh, tough girl, Ava. She’s still in there then?”
“Yes. So fuck off and don’t mess with me.” She wiped a few crumbs from his table, picking up his cup.
“You caught me at a weak moment, it won’t happen again. I heard you’d gone soft. Decided not to do your job. And now look what’s happened.”
“What?” Ava’s hands trembled and she stuffed them in her pockets so he couldn’t see.
“Well, let me just check the facts - soul-hunter sent to capture Nephilim soul. Nephilim turns on his charms and seduces soul-hunter into helping him do something very wrong. Thereby ensuring said soul-hunter’s fate-worse-than-death at the hands of Caelestia is sealed. Correct?”
Ava swallowed down the anxiety. “No, not correct.”
“So you haven’t been seduced into failure?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to yourself. How long before they come for you?”
“Keir said they don’t come down here,” she said, confidently.
“Did he say that? He’s good at this.”
Ava’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you here, talking to me about this?”
“To give you some facts. Keir isn’t on my side anymore and I’m not too happy about that.”
“Not on your side? I kind of gathered that when you tried to kill him.”
“He’s getting in the way. Now you both are.”
“Of what?”
Zach sighed. “Ava, oh, Ava. Little foot soldier who’s consorting with the enemy.” He leaned forward. “Do you know why they sent you for Keir? And not say…me?”
“Yeah, Keir’s more of a danger to the Caelestia’s plans than you. He’s a loose canon. He’s not working with either side. Every soul he frees is one less soul for either army.”
“Okay, think what you like. I just thought I’d give you a friendly warning.”
“You’re warning me?”
Zach paused, his bright blue eyes hardly visible beneath his fringe as he regarded her. “Watch your back, Ava. Keir likes to keep his enemies close. But you already know that, right?”
“Enemies like you?” She knew who he meant. Her.
“I can help you if you need it. To stay safe from him, I mean.”
“I don’t need to be kept safe from Keir and if I did I’m not likely to turn to you, am I? Nephilim keeping a soul-hunter safe? How stupid do you think I am?”
A smile pulled the corner of Zach’s mouth up as he leaned into her face. “I think what you did last night answers that question.”
Ava loosened her ponytail with trembling hands; letting her hair free she shook it with an air of nonchalance. Zach’s ability to feed her doubts always worked and from the smug expression on his face, he enjoyed doing this.
“Whatever, Zach.”
“He’s disappeared again I see? I wonder why?”
“Just fuck off, Zach, I don’t want to listen to you.”
Zach regarded Ava long enough to make her uncomfortable before leaving the empty coffee shop. Ava slid onto the seat of the table he’d sat at, hands on the Formica top. She absentmindedly rearranged the ceramic bowls full of sugar sachets. How did Zach know Keir had gone? Or what she’d done?
*
The creeping doubt in her mind grew to a strangling fear by the end of the day. No Dahlia or Keir. She couldn’t remember a day where she didn’t see one or both of them. And Zach had messed with her mind. Ava didn’t want to admit it but he’d made pushed her panic button.
She decided to wait by Dahlia’s room, one of them had to show eventually. Ava sat on the floor, leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Dozing off, she didn’t see Dahlia approach.
“What is it, Ava?” Dahlia stepped past Ava and unlocked the door.
Ava jumped awake and pulled herself to her feet. At least one of them hadn’t gone anywhere. “Where’s Keir?”
“He’s gone away, again.”
Ava’s stomach lurched. “Where?”
“No idea where he goes.” Dahlia pushed the door open.
“He doesn’t tell you?”
“No, he can’t. It would endanger me. Apparently.” There was a hint of bitterness in her tone. Dahlia didn’t invite Ava in, distant again, avoiding Ava’s eyes. No sign of the angry confrontation last time Keir disappeared.
“Does he do it much?” asked Ava.
Dahlia regarded her, eyes smudged with dark circles. “You mean did he leave because of you? Not everything is about
you, Ava.”
“I never said it was. I came to tell you I saw Zach and…”
Dahlia’s eyes widened. “Where? Here? Was he looking for Keir?” She scrabbled in her bag for her phone. “I have to tell him.”
Ava pointed at the phone. “Do you have Keir’s number?”
“For emergencies, not for you.”
Ava’s mind tripped back to Keir staying to comfort Dahlia the previous night, and the twinge of jealousy she’d felt. She wanted to understand the full story between Dahlia and Jack - and how Keir slotted into the story.
“Nice move, last night, by the way,” said Ava.
“What move?”
“You and Jack. Your sob story. I don’t know what it has to do with Keir but it worked.”
“You mean he chose to stay with me?” Dahlia smiled slyly. “I think he needs to get his priorities right.”
Ava chewed the inside of her lip, trying not to blurt out Dahlia was jealous but Dahlia beat her to it.
“I’m not jealous. I don’t want to lose him because he’s my anchor to this world. He’s like a brother, nothing more. So I will fight to protect him.”
“And is it true? You and Jack?”
“Yes. And don’t you dare use it against me. That’s one thing Keir won’t stand for.”
Keir’s involvement in the Jack affair suggested a deeper meaning to his relationship with Dahlia, one they kept from Ava. She decided Dahlia’s love for the human boy must have been insurmountable. She’d given up her status and her claim to her birthright. Dahlia was free but she was trapped. Ava looked at the mouse-like girl in front of her. She didn’t like her, but Ava admired her courage, realizing how she’d underestimated Dahlia through not knowing who she really was.
“Do you know when Keir will be back?” asked Ava
“When he’s ready.” Dahlia hesitated. “I can see what’s happening with you both. Don’t fall in love with the wrong guy. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience.”
She closed the door behind her.
Chapter 13
Keir was gone for a week. An achingly long week. Ava checked in with Dahlia everyday to see if he was back, and each day Dahlia said no, and indicated not so politely Ava should leave her alone.
Ava suspected Keir hadn’t contacted Dahlia. Dahlia’s posture sagged, her small figure blending further into the background each day. Ava couldn’t tell who was more upset about Keir’s absence - her or Dahlia.
Complacency set in regarding Darius. There’d been no sign of anyone connected to him, and Ava hoped Darius had decided to leave her to suffer in the human world. To age and die, never getting a chance to claim her Will seemed like punishment enough for her half-angelic being. Dahlia’s situation proved that.
Ava sat in the cafeteria, absentmindedly stirring her yogurt. Despite reassuring herself she was safe, her muscles remained coiled tight, waiting for danger. Ava’s body jerked into readiness when the chair opposite her scraped across the linoleum floor.
“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Keir, leaned over her, smiling warmly. “You look tired? Are you sleeping?”
Ava blinked, adrenaline from fear of an attack had spiked her heart rate and as she stared back into his blue eyes, her chest tightened. Keir wore his usual dark jeans and T-shirt, brown leather jacket open. His regrowing dark hair curled across his forehead and she resisted the urge to stroke the curl from his face and touch him, to feel the warmth of him she’d dreamt about the long week he’d been away. Absentmindedly, she licked her bottom lip and his pupils darkened in response.
“When did you get back?” she asked.
“This morning.” He sat opposite her, resting his muscled arms on the table. Ava resisted the urge to run a finger across his forearm.
“You never told me you were going.”
“I don’t tell people.”
“Dahlia knew.”
Keir didn’t reply. He extended his hand across the table and stroked the back of her hand lightly with his long fingers. The shock from his touch shot up her arm. “I went to see some friends.”
“I always got the impression Dahlia was your only friend.”
Keir laughed, eyes crinkling. “I don’t have many anymore. That’s what happens when you turn your back on your people. But I do have some.”
Ava pushed her spoon into her yogurt. “Guess we’re in the same position then.”
“It’s tough turning against everything you’ve been told, to do what you think is right instead. Not many people can do it.” He squeezed her hand.
“Not everyone’s stupid enough,” she said, pointedly.
“Not everyone believes the past should be the future too.”
Ava tipped her head. She didn’t want this conversation, this was stuff she’d pushed way back into her mind. Moving her hand, Ava laced her fingers through his. She’d never held hands with someone before, the only past physical contact with others took place in battle. This kind of touching she liked. Keir’s touches.
“I missed you,” she said.
A shadow crossed Keir’s face. Suddenly Ava was sure he would pull his hand away, tell her he didn’t want her. He said nothing, looking down and rubbing her knuckles. She dipped her head and tried to read the expression in his lowered eyes and saw unease.
Shit. Too soon.
Ava disentangled her hand. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
“Presuming.” She got to her feet and embarrassed tears pushed behind her eyes.
Did she really believe he’d thought about her while he was away? How could she believe the death of one demon meant the gulf between them would be sealed? How could that be enough to open up to her? Want her. Her week of fantasies about a future happiness with him had come from one place - her deluded brain.
“Ava…”
“It’s fine, just let me know when you’re free,” she said coldly.
Ava forced an air of nonchalance she didn’t feel, as she left the cafeteria.
Outside, the weather chilled Ava the rest of the way through, her hot embarrassment replaced with stinging cold. She took a deep, shuddering breath. Had she really spent a week thinking he was missing her as much as she missed him?
She needed time out. A quick call to Janie and they swapped shifts at the coffee shop. The Saturday afternoon shift was the least popular shift, and Janie was delighted to pass the work on to Ava. Work numbed Ava’s mind enough to stop drifting thoughts about Keir. And a public place kept a distracted Ava out of possible danger.
By the end of the day, mental numbness was accompanied by physical exhaustion. The sky had turned a white-grey and as she trudged through campus a snowflake landed on her gloved hand. Ava stopped and looked up at the sky, watching the icy stars falling from above her. She let the soft flakes land on her, fascinated, not expecting snow so soon as autumn leaves still clung to the trees. An involuntary hitch in her throat warned her a tear was coming, reminded of the changing seasons and time ticking. Failure, aging, Fated; her fears tumbled into her mind and she scrubbed her face with her glove, picking up her pace to get out of the cold place she found herself. Was this her life now?
Ava pushed open the door to her dorm block. Someone waited for her in the hallway.
Keir.
She sucked in a breath, fighting back the desire surging inside her, as she sauntered toward him. He leaned against the wall outside her room, his brown leather jacket open. He’d changed - he had a checked shirt over a blue T-shirt, the v-neck her eyes zoned in on revealed the kissable top of his expansive chest. She wanted him, remembering her hands sliding up the back of his shirt, touching the raw hardness of his back. The hands buried deep in his pockets should be touching her, the full lips pulled into a line of concern kissing her. Keir was glorious, sexy. And he waited for her. He straightened, watching her walk toward him, his brow puckered.
“Hey,” she said brightly, putting the key in the lock.
Ignoring how good he smelt and the images his scent evoked was
difficult; he’d not even touched her, and she was dragged into wanting him.
“Ava.” His voice was hesitant as he searched her face with the glacial blue eyes she wanted to drown herself in.
“Did you want something?” she asked.
A knowing smile crept to the corners of his mouth as he looked at her mouth. She felt the heat pulling at her inside again.
“To talk to you,” he said, pushing her door open, “is that okay?”
“If you can spare me some time, sure.”
She walked into the room and threw her bag onto the bed.
Keir looked around. “Not what I expected.”
The room contained standard issue college furniture, plain bedding, no posters. A pile of clothes were slung over the desk chair, and a stack of books and papers lay on the table. Keir sat on the bed, as Ava pulled the curtains closed and switched on her light.
“What did you expect?” she asked.
“I don’t know, it’s not very welcoming - there’s no Ava touches to it.”
“Ava touches?”
“Something a pierced girl with pink hair and motorbike boots might have.” Keir grinned. Ava’s suspicions began melting away and she had to pull back from trusting him again. Why was he here?
“I didn’t think I’d be living here for long,” she said, then winced, aware of the connotation of what she said.
Something caught Keir’s eye and he gravitated to her desk. Tucked in the corner, a clear crystal rested behind a pile of papers, light hitting the gem and projecting colors onto the wall. Ava opened her mouth to speak, cringing as he picked up the soul crystal. Keir turned to her.
“Is this what I think it is?” he said, turning the sphere in all directions in the palm of his hand.
Shit. Why did he have to see the crystal.
“Is this one for me?” His eyebrows dipped, face stony.
“Please give it to me, Keir.” Ava held her hand out.
Curling his hand around the gem, Keir pressed the soul crystal into his palm, the hard surface digging into his skin. “You want me to give you something you can use to store my soul in?” He chewed his lip but didn’t look away from the stone.