by Lisa Swallow
“Nephilim are part-angel, Ava, remember?”
“Originally.”
He rubbed his head. “Can we not go through the what you know, and what you don’t now, please?”
She turned back to her packing, not sure what to say. Keir remained quiet, for a few minutes before unsteadily getting to his feet. He stumbled to sit on her chair.
Ava’s phone rang, startling her. “Hello?”
“Ava, are you packed?” Dahlia spoke, the noise of traffic behind her.
“Sort of.”
“Just take what you’ve got and get out. We’re out the front.” Ava heard Asher say something. “Front of campus, Fourth Street. We’re in Asher’s car and the lights are out.”
“What’s going on?” asked Ava.
“Just get Keir and come. Quickly.” Dahlia’s insistent voice held a note of panic.
“Keir can’t… he’s…”
“What? What’s happened?” Dahlia’s pitch rose.
“He’s okay, he’s just weak,” she said, meeting Keir’s eyes. Keir shook his head, eyes widening.
A conversation began in the car and Ava strained to hear.
“Give the phone to Keir, Asher wants to talk to him,” Dahlia said.
Ava stretched her arm out, passing the phone to Keir. His shoulder slumped as he took it. Keir listened for a few moments, occasionally opening his mouth to protest and being interrupted.
“Okay,” he said, “Give us five and we’ll be there.”
Ava took the phone and stuffed it into her pocket.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Not really, but we have to go.”
“Can you manage?” she asked as he tried to pull himself to his feet.
He put one arm out, leaning against the wall. “Pass me my jacket.”
*
Dawn encroached as the car drove along the motorway, Ava and Keir sitting in the back seats, Keir with his head against the window. Ava stared out of hers with hands clenched in her lap. Nobody spoke.
The orange light of the morning streaked the sky above the rows of fast food joints positioned off the motorway. After four hours they still drove, and Ava didn’t understand why - Asher and Eli’s place was less than an hour from campus.
“Where are we going?” she eventually asked.
“We need to leave,” said Asher, “I said we would keep you safe if you did this. And Keir.”
“I’m not in danger,” said Keir, lifting his head from the window.
“You are while you’re still weak. And when you’re not, Zach will be looking for you.”
Ava heard Dahlia sigh and waited for the smart comment. The words never came. She wondered where Jack was but didn’t dare ask.
“So, where are we going?” echoed Keir.
“Somewhere quiet. While we regroup and figure out where to go from here.”
“And Jack?” asked Dahlia in a low voice.
“He’s with Eli. We’re still trying to find help for him too.”
The burr of the car lulled Ava to sleep, her head slumping against the windowpane. The exhaustion of the night took over, as she lost concentration on the conversation around her. She slipped into sleep, memories of her charged evening with Keir melding into dreams.
Chapter 31
The car meandered off the highway, into a small village crowded with stone built houses. They passed through the center, along a narrow road and out into the green hills. Ava looked up. The recent snow had melted, leaving brown slush covering the roads. Asher drove along a muddy lane-way and a few miles away from the road they stopped in front of an old stone house, set halfway up a hill, overlooking the criss-cross of fields stretching toward the village. The journey had taken the best part of the morning and Keir fidgeted, rubbing his head less but shifting around. Ava tried to talk to him a couple of times but got one-word answers. Questions from Asher and Dahlia received curt replies too.
The door of the house opened, and Eli walked out. He looked down the track behind them before approaching the car.
“Anyone?” he asked Asher, as the car window slid down.
“No,” he replied.
Eli tipped his head curtly, glanced at Keir and Ava, then returned to the house.
“Who does he mean?” asked Keir, sitting forward.
“Let’s go inside,” replied Asher.
Dark wallpaper adorned the walls of the house, and the place smelt musty, damp pervading the darkened interior. At the end of the narrow hallway, a set of stairs covered in worn carpet ran up. Ava peered through a door to her right, inside aging furniture was arranged neatly around the room.
Asher led them into a slate floored kitchen, where Jack and Eli sat at a large, rectangular oak table. Jack moved to Dahlia immediately, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her head.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he murmured.
Ava looked to Keir with a twinge of regret. He hovered in the doorway, arms holding the frame above him. The lost look in his eyes tugged at her. Ava’s desire to go to him and hold him was overwhelming, but Keir had formed an invisible barrier around himself. And he didn’t want her - he hadn’t looked at her since they left campus.
“Why wouldn’t we be okay?” asked Ava.
Eli gestured for her to sit down. “You found us easily?” he asked, addressing Asher.
“Yes, as you can see there were complications to our plans,” he replied.
Eli turned an unimpressed look on Ava. “I should have expected a soul-hunter would ignore our requests to wait.”
“Would you want me to wait if it meant someone was going to die?” she said in a low voice.
“You threatened your own life,” said Eli
“Why would my life matter?”
Eli and Asher glanced at each other. Eli’s blue eyes glittered. “We needed you if we had any chance of getting Keir back.”
So none of this was concern for her welfare.
“You shouldn’t have done it,” said Keir from behind her.
Ava turned in her chair. Keir rested his head on the edge of the doorframe. “I almost killed you. Then I’d have gone back for the girl so it was stupid of you to try alone.”
“I have to protect human life,” she whispered, “it’s one of the reasons I kill demons, you know that.”
“Things aren’t so simple anymore,” said Eli.
“You mean I should’ve let someone die?” Her neck prickled.
“No, Ava, we try and avoid deaths. But things are changing and there will be casualties,” said Asher, quietly.
A tired looking Dahlia stared at her hands, occasionally looking at Keir. Ava could tell from the downturn of her mouth seeing him again was hard for her, knowing what he’d done. Jack stroked Dahlia’s back gently.
“We promised we would help you if you aided us in returning Keir. But it involves you in our struggle with the Demon Lords. If you stay with us your life is in danger from them and from the Caelestia. But we can help protect you, if you will help us,” said Asher.
Ava’s world changed the moment she helped Keir release a soul. Since then her options had been limited by who she trusted, who she worked with. She wouldn’t last long alone, hauled back to Darius and down into the Hell realms within days - even hours. She remembered the conversation with Asher, but the decision had been based on Keir wanting her back.
“How can I help you?” she asked, not able to comprehend why the Nephilim in front of her would want a soul-hunter involved with them.
“Allies we can trust are few and far between. You are as tied to us as you are to Keir, through your actions,” Eli said.
Keir shifted uncomfortably.
“Are you tired, Ava?” asked Asher and she became aware of the heaviness in her limbs. Unable to continue a conversation as loaded as this, she wanted sleep.
“We have a lot we need to talk to Keir about,” said Asher, “Let me show you where you can sleep.”
As Asher led her out of the room, Keir
stepped to one side, casting his eyes down. Ava’s stomach turned. He didn’t even want to look at her.
*
The grogginess hadn’t left Ava when she awoke a few hours later. She climbed out of the single bed, and looked through the bay window, at the grassy countryside and village in the distance. Positioned in a room at the back of the house, she couldn’t hear voices. Used to the banging of doors, footsteps and voices of other people on campus, the eerie silence stood out to Ava. This suited her - she wanted to be alone and away from the others. The scenery outside the window tempted her; countryside held a fascination for her, none of her past missions involved rural locations.
She hunted for the others, to tell them her plans and found Dahlia in the kitchen, making drinks in large mugs. She looked as colorless as Jack. Withdrawn. Her long brown hair half-hid her face.
“Where is everyone?” asked Ava.
Dahlia spilt the coffee from her spoon, brown powder showering the bench, unaware Ava had entered the room. “Keir is still with Asher and Eli, they’re in the lounge at the back of the house.”
“Okay. Can you tell them I’m going for a walk?”
Dahlia didn’t respond but nodded and Ava turned to leave.
“I hope it is Keir you brought back,” said Dahlia.
Ava stopped, not turning. “So do I.”
A well-used path ran from the house down a small hill into woodland. Early spring budded in the trees, snowdrops forcing their way through the winter ground. Life was beginning its cycle again. The cycle of life Ava had never been part of. She wondered what her future held, if she had long before she died. Surely a few Nephilim couldn’t keep her safe from the might of Darius and the Caelestia. An aching loneliness pushed tears into her eyes as she thought of Keir, his obvious hatred of her now.
A small stream trickled across rocks, and she followed its path through the trees. It flowed past a small earthy bank at the edge of the field she crossed. An old man rested on a bench with his dog at his feet. Ava smiled at him as she approached, and he nodded a hello to her. She had so much to discover, so many things she’d never come across in her short visits to the human world. Here was an aging human, face lined and hair white, sitting in the calm surroundings. An age away from young students living full lives in the bustling city. Demons sensibly stuck to the anonymity of the urban sprawl, there’d never been any need for Ava to come here. The man rose and called his dog to his side, nodding at Ava. The small dog wagged its tail and she bent to pat the curly black head. She watched the man walk away and shook her head. His ordinary world held the extraordinary to her.
Moss covered the arms of the wooden bench, and she picked at the furry green with curiosity. She wasn’t sure how long she rested there, listening to the silence of the countryside. No traffic noise or sirens, no dogs barking. All she heard were sheep bleating and traffic far in the distance. The freshness of the mud and the grass peaking through the slush left by the snow were new images for her; clean smells and sights from nature.
A figure alerted her, and she didn’t need to focus hard to realize Keir crossed the field toward her. He slouched, reminding her of the Keir she first knocked into months ago when her life was simple and mapped out. The cocky, confident Keir of recent weeks couldn’t be seen in this man’s gait. Her breath caught in her chest, the hope this was her Keir reawakening.
He approached and sat on the bench next to her, hands dug firmly in his pockets and avoiding her gaze. Keir’s warmth radiated toward her; he was so close but so far. Disappointment washed through her.
“Hey,” said Ava, awkwardly.
Keir pulled a hand from his pocket and placed it on hers. His gentle touch sent familiar shocks through her. “Thank you, Ava.”
“What for?”
“You know what for.” His eyes met hers and she knew. This was him. Her Keir. His clear glacial eyes held a mixture of pain and desire.
Ava lifted her free hand and tentatively stroked his face, fighting her tears threatening to spill. “For trying to kill you, stealing your soul or something different?”
“Ava…” He turned to her, brushing hair from above her eyes, “Don’t say it like that. You know that’s not what happened.”
“Did you tell them that?” she asked, “no one believed me.”
“Yes, I did.” He paused. “I told them everything.”
Ava studied his eyes, the flecks of violet around his irises obscured by darkened pupils as he looked back at her. His hand hovered where he’d brushed the hair from her face, and then he touched the bruises on her neck. “I’m so sorry,” he said hoarsely.
“It’s okay, it wasn’t you.”
Keir stared straight ahead, a muscle twitching in his cheek. “It was me, that person is part of me.”
“That person was an empty shell, where evil found its way inside.”
“I think it changed me,” he whispered, “I don’t think I’m me anymore. I have every memory of what I did seared in my mind.”
Ava reached out to him, moving closer across the bench. “Nobody is pure, everybody has parts of them with selfish motivation. It’s terrible people died but by coming back you’ll save so many more.” She paused. “Nobody blames you.”
Keir sighed, pulling her into him and burying his face in her hair. “They said I would redeem myself, they don’t blame me, but I hate what I was.”
Ava pulled away. “Blame me if you want to blame anyone, it’d never have happened but for me.”
“I told you at the time, I had to do it, I couldn’t have lived knowing I’d sent you to Hell, knowing I could have saved you.”
Keir tugged her back to him, enveloping her as if he didn’t want to let her go again. Ava pushed her face into his jacket, smudging her tears against him.
“I made the decision to lose my soul, not you. I have to live with what happened.”
“Did you know what would happen?” she whispered, moving her face away.
Keir buried his face into her neck. “No, I didn’t think I’d go that far. I thought I was inherently good, I misjudged the power of my demon side. I thought I’d be able to control the evil.”
“We need to look forward now, Keir.”
“I discussed this with Asher and Eli and we decided maybe this did some good. This situation brought us all together - with you, Dahlia and Jack. Together we’re more powerful than when we fought apart. Asher and Eli would never trust anyone before - not even Dahlia. Maybe that’s the good that’ll come out of this mess.”
A soul-hunter, three Nephilim, an ex soul-hunter and a vampire. Not a standard army, thought Ava. How could six people take on the might of the Caelestia and the power of the Demon Lords and win? Surely they were just a tiny irritation in the middle, unable to have as much influence as they’d like? They’d need a much bigger army than the one they had to even dent the armor of either side.
“They’re powerful, Asher and Eli. And me. But we can’t operate alone. Not to end this war,” said Keir, “We need to persuade the other Nephilim to break their bonds with the Demon Lords.”
“How? Why would they want to?”
“You read the book,” he smiled, “as exiled angels, the Nephilim hold the same power as the Caelestia. Most have been corrupted into demons and gained other powers. If we persuade enough to come back to us, we can interrupt this war. End the corruption.”
Ava fought to take in his words. Despite sleeping, her brain still struggled to keep up with the events of the last twenty-four hours. Now this information. Her head hurt.
“Sorry, I know it’s not a great time to get into this with you, and there is so much more you need to know. But I told them you needed to know you were safe. Before you made your decision,” said Keir
“Decision?”
“About what to do, whether to stay involved.”
“Of course I do,” she breathed, “with whatever. With you.”
Keir took her face in his hands and leaned toward her. His lips moved hesitantly o
nto hers and she sighed, relaxing into his kiss, fighting out the memories of his urgent passion the night before. Ava kissed him slowly, but the heat in her stomach gave way and she held his head, pulling him toward her. Keir ended the embrace before either of them lost themselves.
Keir tugged Ava to her feet and squeezed her tightly, sighing into her hair. “I missed you.”
Ava snuggled into his chest, content to have him stroke her hair. She felt the steady beat of his heart thump against her cheek and buried her nose into his chest, inhaling his safe, familiar smell. This was her Keir.
*
The countryside seemed greener to Ava, the walk back up to the house happier than her lonely trudge down. She strode hand in hand with Keir, swinging their arms. The relief of being together again bubbled out of her, and she stopped, throwing her arms around his waist and pulling him toward her. Keir’s eyes brightened as he tugged her coat, lifting Ava onto tiptoes as he leant in and tenderly brushed her lips with his. Ava smiled against his mouth and flicked her tongue teasingly along his lips, pulling him closer. Drawing back, he covered her face with soft kisses, and let go of her coat.
“I wish yesterday never happened. All of it,” he said, “I’m glad we didn’t…finish. I didn’t want to hurt you. I want to share myself with you, not take from you.”
Ava rubbed her face where his hair had tickled her cheek. “It’s okay,” she said, running her fingers down his face. “It’s not like I wasn’t a willing participant.”
He caught her hand and kissed it. “But I did like it, even though I don’t think I should have.”
Heat crept across Ava’s face, a memory of Keir’s semi-naked body under her and his hands on her bare skin. He aroused her just by being in front of her, she could easily push her hands under his T-shirt and feel the hard muscles of his soft skin again. Allow him to caress her and ignite the smoldering from the night before. Ava pulled in then let out deep breath.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pushing away a strand of hair, which had fallen into her eyes.
“Nothing, I was just agreeing with you. In my head.”
Keir took hold of Ava and wrapped his coat around them both. He rested his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. “I love you, Ava, you brought me back when I was lost in a dark place. And the time we were together before I was lost, you made my world brighter than anything before you. I want to move past these last few weeks. Make your world as bright as mine. If you’ll forgive me.”