“I hear you’ve embarked on some new endeavors,” Natalie remarked to him.
“I have.” He had enrolled in a college degree program in criminal justice using his military benefit. He’d also found part-time work counseling transitioning military veterans, but in the future, he planned to enter law enforcement. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was doing meaningful work that suited him and made him happy.
But that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about now. “When are the trials scheduled for the others in the burglary ring?”
“I don’t expect any trials—I expect that the defendants will plead out,” she replied. “As far as I know, the respective parties are working out agreements now.”
His mom touched his arm. “Did you know that the congressman gave us two of Justin’s paintings?”
No, he hadn’t. A feeling of sadness passed through him, but his mother seemed happy, so he smiled for her.
“Lyndsay arranged that,” Cynthia piped in. “She phoned the congressman and asked him if he would give the paintings to Margie.”
“And you’re okay with that?” he asked his mother.
“Yes. Patrick explained to me why he did what he did. I understand and I’m coming to grips with it better.” His mom paused and looked at Natalie. “I’ve asked to speak with Lyndsay personally. I’m still working through all of this, and I think it will do me good to see her.”
“She...agreed to see you?”
“Yes. We’ve been communicating through Natalie. Lyndsay isn’t allowed to contact us directly until the case is finished.”
“Which reminds me...” Natalie glanced at him. “John, may I speak privately with you before I leave?”
He stiffened. Had Lyndsay asked her to communicate with him, too? Many times he’d considered that he had a contact number for Lyndsay in his phone. In his more cynical moments, he’d wondered if it was even really her number, or as fake as the rest of their relationship.
“John, why don’t you stay here with Natalie?” Cynthia suggested, rising. “Margie and I will head out now. We need to get back to the Seaside.”
He kissed his mother goodbye and gave Cynthia a hug of thanks.
He and the attorney were alone in the quiet, sunny alcove. This time John sat on the bench with her. A bank of windows showed a small courtyard with green leaves and bright annual flowers.
Natalie cleared her throat and rooted in her briefcase. “Officer Fairfax asked me to give you this.” She took out a letter-size envelope.
Pale yellow stationery, the color of Lyndsay’s hair. His name written on the sealed envelope in blue fountain pen.
He accepted the envelope, not knowing what to expect. He hadn’t seen Lyndsay’s handwriting before, but it was bold and appealing, like her.
“She asked me to give you something else.” Natalie put the small shopping bag down on the glass table. “It’s, ah, rather unorthodox. I hesitated to bring it along, but...”
“What is this?” he asked, eying the bag.
“Baked goods.” Natalie looked flummoxed.
He snorted with laughter. It just seemed funny, like something Lyndsay would do. “Chocolate-chip cookies, by any chance?”
Natalie seemed relieved. “You expected it.”
“No, actually, it’s the last thing I expected.” He shook his head in wonder. Did this mean she missed him, too? He opened the bag and breathed deeply.
Yes, these were Lyndsay’s chocolate-chip cookies, presented on a fancy plate, wrapped in cellophane and tied with ribbon as an interior decorator might do. The gift had to be designed to make him think of that night in his kitchen when they’d first kissed.
He remembered it clearly. She’d walked over to his house, in the dark, and she’d been wearing pink lip gloss and her hair down. They hadn’t talked about anything regarding the investigation that night. She hadn’t had to kiss him in order to gain any relevant information. At that point, she wouldn’t have even suspected that Patrick was involved in the burglary ring.
In fact, kissing John then would have been more of a complication to her investigation than a benefit.
Maybe her feelings for him had been real. Maybe she’d tried to keep their relationship separate from her work, but ultimately couldn’t.
He turned the envelope over in his hands.
“Well, I’ll leave you now.” Natalie stood with her briefcase.
“Thank you,” he said quietly to the kind attorney, standing, too, as she took her leave.
He sat again, holding the envelope for a long time, just rubbing the edges with his thumb and letting himself remember other things about Lyndsay.
The way she’d cried the last time he’d seen her when she’d been faced with the fruits of her investigation. The way she’d pressed her hand against the window.
All those times they’d made love. He honestly doubted she’d faked that.
He felt the pain in his heart. He most wanted to know if she’d ever planned to tell him.
And if she really loved him.
And...
He opened the envelope. Two sheets of folded stationery paper, written in neat rows of cursive script. Not a blot on the page, not a cross out or a scribble. She’d written drafts, and she’d practiced to make it just so, perfectionist that she was. He smiled. He also liked that it wasn’t written in the formal block letters he now knew that police officers were trained to use in their reports. So many reports they generated. Lyndsay had gone out of her way to make this letter to him personal.
Dear John,
I’ve written and rewritten this letter a dozen times, wanting to let you know why I did what I did. I’m not proud of the way I deceived you. My only explanation is that I behaved in a way that I thought a good undercover officer should. The first time we spoke in the parking lot and you accused me of being a cop, I was scared of losing my cover. But it didn’t end up the way I expected, because the only way to continue with my cover was to tell you the truth about my background. Everything I told you about my parents, my childhood, my husband, my (one year) at interior design school—it was all true. More important to me, the hopes and fears I disclosed to you were true. And when I told you I love you, that was the truest thing of all.
Nothing about the undercover assignment worked out the way I expected. When I got to know you, and started having feelings for you, I thought that I could keep our relationship separate from the investigation. I was assigned to investigate the paintings, but I had no idea that it would lead back to your family, to Patrick. I always had a foolish plan that I could finish the assignment, then come back to you afterward and beg your forgiveness. I learned it isn’t that simple. I never examined closely enough what I was doing, or why. I discovered that I can’t live with myself being dishonest, especially with good people like you. I only have respect and love for you.
What happened later, the day that I made a mistake with setting the alarm, and subsequently figuring out that Patrick was possibly involved in the burglary ring, made me realize that I can’t keep my work and personal lives separate. They’re entwined. They’re always entwined. I wanted so desperately to keep our relationship, but I was trapped at that point. If I let my job down, then many other people besides you and I would have been hurt. I suppose in my mind I sacrificed us for them. Those next twenty-four hours were so painful personally, even though something positive happened for the community with the burglary ring being caught.
It’s devastating to me that you and Margie were swept up in this. I promised you that day that I would do what I could for Patrick, and I honored that promise. I sincerely hope he’s able to get the help he needs. I wish only the best for him and for you and your family.
I’m sorry.
If you ever want to call and talk, you have my (real) phone number.
&nb
sp; Sincerely,
Lyndsay
John read and reread the letter. Then he got out his phone and sent her a text message.
* * *
LYNDSAY ARRIVED EARLY at their meeting place. She chose to sit at a corner table with views to the entrance and parking lot as well as to the side door. It was noon, and her overnight detective shift had ended hours earlier. She’d been able to take her time bathing, putting on a short summer dress, doing her hair and makeup...
She was nervous to see him. Other than their two-line text messages arranging the meeting today, she had no idea what was running through John’s mind. Did he believe her letter? Did he forgive her? Did he still care?
And what about the significance of the location he’d chosen, a beautiful ski resort restaurant overlooking a clear blue lake? They weren’t far from the village she’d grown up in. They were about an hour and a half from Wallis Point.
Wallis Point. She’d only been back once, to stop at Natalie Kimball’s office. She hadn’t visited the Seaside, or Andy, or Kitty MacLaine in her newly decorated beach cottage. Lyndsay was welcome any time in their home, the congressman had assured her. But visiting the cul-de-sac was too uncomfortable to think about.
A new SUV pulled into the lot, and John got out. She straightened, craning her neck to study him. He wore khakis and a button-down shirt that matched his eyes. His hair was shorter. The cuts and bruises that had marred his face the last time she’d seen him were healed now.
She sighed in relief, smiled and waved to him as he walked into the restaurant, but she needn’t have bothered; he zoned in on her with his typical laser focus. As he approached her table she leaned forward, hoping he would kiss her in greeting, and he did.
He smelled like that soap she’d liked. His touch lit a spark in her, and she was lost, gazing into his eyes again.
He sat not opposite her, but at the corner seat beside her. The co-power spot, she thought. Now they both had the view of the street. His hand bumped hers, and suddenly it was old times and they were holding hands like they used to.
“Lyndsay,” he breathed.
“You look good, John.”
“You always looked good.” He laced his fingers in hers, and her heart seemed to swell in her chest. There were so many things they needed to talk about, but at the moment she just wanted to be in his presence.
The waitress arrived and handed them menus, launching into her introductory greeting. A busboy set about filling water glasses.
She and John smiled at each other.
“We’ll take a few minutes to decide,” John told the waitress.
After they’d finished and left, Lyndsay said to John, “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” His clear gray-blue eyes drank her in. “I wasn’t myself for a long time. But I forgive you, Lyndsay.”
She sighed. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath, hoping for these words from him. She knew that trust, once shattered, wasn’t easily regained. She’d been in detective training lately, partnered with Pete as an observer. Just being in the presence of him and his wife had shown her a path that, with enough love, she’d hoped she and John might follow, as well.
“Are you okay?” he murmured, peering at her. “You’re crying.”
“They’re happy tears.” They were forehead to forehead now. “You read my letter and forgave me. What’s not to be happy about?”
“You’re worth it. And Lyndsay,” he said softly, “I hope you can forgive me, too.”
“You! Why?”
“I never stopped to hear your point of view. I promise I’ll never do that again.”
This was why she loved this man. He was honorable, and he paid attention.
“I was wondering.” His lips quirked.
“What?”
“I want to know about your real life. Where you live and places you like to go. I was wondering if you could show me some of that someday soon.” He glanced around the restaurant. “I actually chose this place because I know it’s near where you grew up. It’s nice up here in the mountains.”
“Do you think I can ever go back to Wallis Point?” she asked wistfully.
“Of course. You’re a legend there. A real badass with a gun.” He grinned at her.
She laughed genuinely. Coming from a Marine veteran, that was pretty funny.
Then she sobered. “Seriously, John. Integrating all of this is what I’m working toward. Redemption. A real personal life and an honest professional life. And...” She lowered her voice, her cheeks feeling warm. “I’d like children.”
“Would you?” He seemed surprised.
“Yes,” she said softly, and she took a deep breath. “When I first met Natalie Kimball at the police station, she had her baby with her, Jamie. He gave me this big, gummy smile, and it just took the breath out of me. I lost my heart to him, and it made me realize...” She could feel herself blushing. He probably knew where this was going, and it warmed her to think so, but he let her speak her feelings without interruption. “Well, that’s the kind of life I would like to have, too. I thought of having a little one, and that maybe someday it could be you and I together...” She glanced at him, and his head was still tilted, listening. “Well, I wanted to tell you now, and hope that you do, too—”
“Yes,” he said.
“Yes?”
“Yes.” He nodded firmly.
She didn’t see how she could be happier.
EPILOGUE
Five months later
Christmas Day
“COME HERE, MRS. REILLY.”
Lyndsay glanced around, looking for her mother-in-law, but then realized that John was speaking to her. Her husband. She could only laugh with happiness.
“You know I’m keeping my maiden name,” she teased.
“Sure. But you’re not Mrs. Fairfax, you’re Mrs. Reilly. See, look at the sign.” A smile playing on his lips, John pointed toward the limo stand, and it was all she could do not to sigh and gaze at him all day in starstruck, newlywed love.
But she reluctantly looked over to the island transportation stand he’d pointed toward, just outside the small sandy airport. Sure enough, their prearranged driver held up a handwritten sign:
Mr. and Mrs. Reilly.
“Well, I guess that settles it,” she said. “This week, I must be Mrs. Reilly.” They headed to the car, John pulling their suitcases, but before they made it off the curb, she hooked a finger in the back pocket of his cargo shorts, and reeled him in for a kiss.
They’d barely been able to keep their hands off one another. The evening before, they’d had a Christmas Eve wedding ceremony in Wallis Point at the Grand Beachfront Hotel. She’d found that going back to Wallis Point hadn’t been as difficult as she’d feared, not with John’s ironclad support. Plus, the friends she’d made—Andy and his crew, the MacLaines, John’s mom and Natalie—had made her transition to moving there easier. John’s cove house had transformed into a snug, comfortable home for the two of them.
John caught her hand, and they headed toward their transportation for their Caribbean beach honeymoon. John was excited about his dream vacation finally coming to fruition.
But there was a bit of news she’d been waiting to tell him, too. She’d found out for certain only this morning. In all the rush over their wedding plans, she’d missed some telltale signs. She’d confirmed it with a quick test before their early morning flight out of Boston.
“John?” she said.
“Hmm?”
“I have to confess—I’ve been keeping a secret from you.”
He turned and quirked an eye at her. “You’d better tell me about it right now,” he said in his lighthearted tone.
“All right.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “If all goes well, we’ll b
e welcoming a little one by late summer.”
“Well, yeah.” He smirked at her. “We’re on our honeymoon.” We’ve talked about this, he implied. Their honeymoon was when they’d decided to start trying to have a baby.
“Um. I think we may have accidentally jumped the gun.”
“You mean?” His eyebrows rose in question.
“Yes. A little boy or girl.” She paused. “There’s always the possibility we might have twins, I suppose.” She smiled at him. “Is that all right with you?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.” An emphatic nod.
This was another reason she loved John Reilly. They made an excellent team.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from LAST CHANCE AT THE SOMEDAY CAFÉ by Angel Smits.
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The Undercover Affair Page 25