by Gwyneth Rees
FREAKY FAMILIES, STEP RIGHT UP!
• Does anyone in your family have an unusual physical feature such as absent outer ears, a weirdly shaped head or an abnormal number of fingers or toes?
• Do any of your relatives practise an unusual or abnormal skill such as telepathy, fortune-telling or weather manipulation?
• Have you ever suspected, for any reason, that there could be an alien ancestor somewhere in your family’s past?
• Would you and your family be willing to take part in an exciting TV talk show on the above topic?
• We are searching ONLY for families who genuinely suspect they may be descended from aliens.
As soon as I’d finished reading it I started to laugh. ‘Who on earth would reply to this?’
‘An alien who wants to be on TV maybe?’ Ziggy replied with a grin.
‘Yes, but a real family of aliens aren’t going to expose themselves, are they?’ I pointed out.
‘Maybe not a full-on alien family who’ve just arrived from outer space,’ Ziggy agreed. (And it was clear from his face that he didn’t think such a thing existed.) ‘But there are quite a few people out there who really do believe that one of their ancestors might have originated from another planet. And it’s amazing how many people love the idea of being on television.’
Just then Saffie appeared in the hall. She was wearing her Supergirl outfit, but with red furry slippers on her feet instead of silver wellington boots.
‘Can I borrow Henry, please?’ she asked Ziggy. ‘I’m going to have a teddy bear’s tea-party tomorrow and I need lots of bears to be the guests. He’ll have lots of fun!’
‘Another time, OK, Saffie?’ Ziggy said quickly. ‘I think Henry’s had all the excitement he can handle for one week.’ He started to open the front door. ‘I’d better go now, Emma.’
‘OK. See you later.’
After he’d left I noticed that Granny had come out of the kitchen and was standing in the hall looking a little flushed. The kitchen door was open and Saffie immediately went through to see Mum and Dad.
‘What’s wrong, Granny?’ I asked, because it was clear from her face that something was.
Granny answered in a low voice. ‘I think I’d better warn you, Emma, that your father is rather upset with me. He made one Superman joke too many so I gave him a piece of my mind. I told him it was time he stopped poking fun at everything he doesn’t understand and started to show some respect for our family’s gift. I’m afraid he wasn’t best pleased at being told off.’
Before I could respond, Mum called out that she’d made some drinks so we went through to the kitchen. Saffie was just about to go out into the garden, having swapped her red slippers for her silver wellies. Dad was sitting reading the paper. He smiled at me when I walked in but he didn’t look at Granny.
‘Who was that at the door, Emma?’ Mum asked.
‘Ziggy.’ And I quickly told them about the advert Ziggy’s mum was going to place in the paper.
‘I do hope he doesn’t tell his parents about us,’ Mum said with a frown.
‘He won’t, Mum. He’s on our side.’ I attempted to reassure her.
‘Well, I just hope Ziggy’s mum knows what she’s doing putting in an advert like that,’ Dad said. ‘I don’t know about Godfrey but I know how I’d react if the freakiest families in the country started calling me up.’
‘Don’t be silly, Jim,’ Mum responded impatiently. ‘She’ll use a mailbox address – not his phone number – and in any case, Godfrey wants to find freaky families. The freakier the better, as far as his TV ratings are concerned, I should think.’
‘He might even discover some genuine aliens among them,’ Granny pointed out.
As both Dad and Mum gave her an incredulous look she said, ‘Well, who knows how our family really came by our gift? Perhaps this story about an ancestor being struck by lightning isn’t true. Perhaps we have an ancestor who was an alien instead!’ She looked across at Dad and added, ‘After all, Superman’s powers came from another planet, did they not?’
Dad clearly wasn’t sure if she was having another go at him or not. ‘Look . . .’ he said in a quiet voice. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve offended you with all my superhero quips . . . You’re right . . . it is disrespectful and I promise I’ll try to keep my lip buttoned a bit more in future, OK?’
Granny looked surprised. ‘Well, thank you, Jim, and I’m sorry for the many times I’ve offended you. The trouble is, I find it hard to keep my opinions to myself when they concern the people I most care about.’ Granny looked at him fondly as she added, ‘You see, it’s only because I think of you as a son that I feel I can speak to you as frankly as I do.’
Dad smiled and went a little bit pink. ‘Well . . . that’s good to know.’
Saffie was playing happily in the garden, running round he lawn with her arms outstretched, pretending to fly through the air like Supergirl.
‘Now, Marsha . . . Jim . . . I do hope you aren’t going to take what I’m about to say the wrong way . . .’ Granny began – and I saw Mum in particular go from relaxed to tense in a matter of seconds. ‘I doubt I am going to make any progress with Serafina as things are at the moment. She is a very different child to Emmeline and I am going to need to try a different approach.’
‘What sort of approach?’ Mum asked at once.
‘Some more intensive training is needed, but I can’t do that here, which is why I suggest that Saffie comes to stay with me for a while – on her own.’
‘Oh, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,’ Mum said at once. ‘Perhaps if I were to come too . . .’
‘Then the arrangement won’t work,’ Granny said swiftly. ‘Saffie needs to know that I’m in charge, and I won’t be in charge if you’re there.’
‘Marsha, she’s got a point,’ Dad put in. ‘Is it really such a bad idea to let Saffie go with her? After all, with Saffie gone, Godfrey’s interest in us is bound to die down.’
But Mum still shook her head. ‘I just don’t like the idea of you and Serafina being alone together for that length of time, Mother. No offence, but I think somebody . . . well . . . sensible needs to be there as well.’
‘Your father will be there,’ Granny reminded her, looking more amused than offended by what Mum had said.
Mum sighed. ‘You know very well that he wouldn’t notice what the two of you were doing. I don’t think his head would come out from behind his newspaper even if a hundred gnomes were rampaging about the place.’
Dad looked as if he was trying not to laugh as he quickly suggested, ‘What about Emma? Emma is sensible.’
‘Of course,’ Granny responded. ‘Emma is very sensible. I would be more than happy for her to come too if she would like it.’
‘Oh, I’d really like it!’ I said excitedly. ‘Can I, Mum?’
I could tell that Mum was seriously considering the idea. ‘It’s true I’d feel a lot happier knowing that Emma was there to keep an eye on things. Though I don’t want to give Emma too much responsibility. After all, she’s just a child too.’
‘Don’t worry about Emma,’ Granny said at once. ‘I’ll make sure she isn’t allowed to be too grown-up and sensible while she’s with me.’
Mum looked as if that hadn’t been quite what she’d meant.
Dad looked at Granny in delight. ‘So that’s settled then. You’re going to take both of them for the summer, and when they come back, Saffie will be . . .’ He trailed off, looking out into the garden where my sister was spinning herself around on the spot with her arms outstretched, looking like the craziest little girl in the whole world.
‘. . . Saffie will be a perfectly normal and sensible supergirl like me!’ I finished for him.
And everyone – even Granny – laughed at that.
Gwyneth Rees is half Welsh and half English and grew up in Scotland. She went to Glasgow University and qualified as a doctor in 1990. She is a child and adolescent psychiatrist but has now stopped practising so that she c
an write full-time. She is the author of many bestselling books, including the Fairies series, the Cosmo series and the Marietta’s Magic Dress Shop series, as well as several books for older readers. She lives near London with her husband, Robert, their daughters, Eliza and Lottie, and their cat, Magnus.
Visit www.gwynethrees.com
Also by Gwyneth Rees
The Magic Princess Dress
The Twinkling Tutu
The Butterfly Tiara
Mermaid Magic
Fairy Dust
Fairy Treasure
Fairy Dreams
Fairy Gold
Fairy Rescue
Fairy Secrets
Cosmo and the Magic Sneeze
Cosmo and the Great Witch Escape
Cosmo and the Secret Spell
For older readers
The Mum Hunt
The Mum Detective
The Mum Mystery
My Mum’s from Planet Pluto
The Making of May
Something Secret
First published 2012 by Macmillan Children’s Books
This electronic edition published 2012 by Macmillan Children’s Books
an imprint of Pan Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited
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ISBN 978-1-447-21604-9
Text copyright © Gwyneth Rees 2012
Illustrations copyright © Ella Okstad 2012
The right of Gwyneth Rees and Ella Okstad to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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